"Whenever you are ready," Caius' voice drifted into my ears, causing me to grin like an idiot as I sat at the piano.

We had finally become a harmony; two parts that complimented each other and translated into beautiful music for all to hear. The song we had meant to rehearse and perform was finally ready. He and I were giving it one more run-through before the performance. Interestingly enough, as soon as our hearts became one, the song no longer felt like two cloths crudely stitched together – the fabrics disjointed and with mismatching patterns that almost made the work grotesque. Instead, we were still two differing cloths, but with a similar harmony and a perfect median.

I took a slow breath, calming my nerves that were still dancing from the sound of his voice, and played the opening chords. As soon as I finished the twelve measure introduction, Caius lifted his violin and joined with me. The song was flawless. I even caught the dynamic and meter change during the second repeat – which I had missed on every rehearsal, but Caius told me I could cut it out if I couldn't hit it. It was a far cry from our first few rehearsals where he would stop the entire piece to simply chide me for not holding a note long enough, or giving it proper intonation.

I lost myself in the song, feeling the notes become music; parts of a whole. No note was more important than any of the others. Soon, we reached the final page of the music. My body swayed gently with the glissando, and the hair on the back of my neck stood up as Caius reached his sparkling high notes on the "E" string of his violin.

The song came to a close, and the last note faded into oblivion. I didn't miss a single one.

Caius' arms were around me in an instant, his violin gently set onto its case. I smiled, leaning back into his cool body. His breath tickled my ear.

"Perfect."

The piece was going perfectly. Not a single mistake thus far.

In the ballroom sat every member of the Volturi – save Johanna. Aro and Marcus were sitting front and center, their wives at their sides. Immediately flanking Aro was Renata and Felix. Jane and her twin, Alec, sat beside Marcus. Although I enjoyed playing the song with Caius, performing in front of the entire coven was daunting.

But all too soon, the piece was over. The moment that Caius and I had prepared for so meticulously was finally over. Sulpicia jumped to her feet and clapped enthusiastically – the perfect picture of a caring parent. Aro stayed seated, but applauded with an ecstatic grin. The rest of the Guard gave appropriate praise. Caius stretched out his hand and took my own, tugging me gently to stand. Caius bowed his head in acknowledgement of his performance, glancing sideways at me and smiling. I followed his suit and curtseyed. The curtsey was choppy, but it got the job done.

I felt a pang of disappointment that Johanna wasn't with the rest of the coven. The pang turned dominant, dampening my mood. Why was this happening? I thought I'd given up on trying to help her.

"Seraphina?" Caius' voice pulled me from my tune-out. I looked up at him and quickly restored my smile.

"Hi," I returned lamely.

Sulpicia interrupted our exchange by crushing me in a hug. "That was beautiful, my darling! I felt tears in my eyes!" I chuckled gently at her little tongue-in-cheek reference to their venom. Vampires couldn't cry tears, but sometimes, venom leaked out. I'd only seen it happen a handful of times, and most of those occurrences weren't related to emotion.

"Thank you," I replied, returning her hug. She kissed my head twice in quick succession, pulling away.

Aro and Marcus appeared over her shoulders, both of them smiling happily. Both of them offered compliments and excessive praise. Caius stood silently at my side, but our hands soon found each other's. He held mine in his larger one, his thumb stroking the pad between my thumb and pointer finger.

"I was not sure if you would truly perform – I heard of the difficulties…" Marcus said delicately, as if our failed practice attempts were a sensitive topic. We both chuckled instead.

"Things have been much more harmonious as of late." Caius replied, turning his head to smile at me. I smiled back, but my blush was much more noticeable than any teeth I showed.

"For which, I am very glad." Aro beamed, pecking my forehead. "Now, what is your next project, preciosa?"

"Ah…well…" I scrambled for words. Truth be told, I really didn't have another project in mind. It was summer, and I just wanted to enjoy myself. Take it easy, be lazy, eat candy, and such. All while being with Caius.

Gosh…Caius really was a part of my life now. He would have to be included into many of my thoughts. Having to switch my method of thinking was going to be difficult.

Or was it? He already dominated many of them. The small sliver of time we weren't together, my thoughts always ran along the lines of, "I wish Caius was here. I wonder what he'd think of me doing this. Would this make him smile? He must think I sound like an idiot."

Sera. You are pathetic.

"No, not really." I muttered, conceding from any affirmative feedback I was planning. Sulpicia giggled.

"Having a goal is an integral step of forward progression." Aro said matter-of-factly. "I would find something constructive to do with your time, dear one."

"She could just re-adjust the Tower of Pisa to stand up straight or something." A sarcastic voice echoed from the doorway. All remaining heads of the ballroom spun around to the voice of Johanna. She leaned against the doorframe – looking ruffled and rather like hell – but her eyes were somewhat attentive, rather than vacant. She had her arms folded, with her fingers curled into fists.

My eyes went next to Demetri, who stared at her as if she'd just descended from heaven in front of them all.

Everyone stared. The brief shocked silence was broken by a cry from Sulpicia. She darted across the room and took Johanna into her arms, squeezing her close. Johanna kept her arms folded, looking rather bothered by the hug.

"My darling Johanna! We've all been so worried-!" Sulpicia whined, smoothing Johanna's hair repeatedly as if a quick fix was possible.

Johanna scowled. "Yeah, sure…"

Sulpicia looked wounded, but didn't retreat from Johanna. "We have been." She said firmly. "Didn't you hear any of our knocks? I know you ate the food we left. We wanted to talk to you, but you wouldn't allow us entry."

Her voice changed from concerned to frustrated almost instantly. I understood exactly how she felt. It was so hard to have someone repeatedly push away much-needed help, then attempt to push the blame onto the ones who took the time to help.

Sounded a little like the justice system, really…

"We're glad that you're all right." Marcus gently cut across the visibly upset Sulpicia with a calm voice, giving Johanna a little smile. Johanna softened a bit at his smile, but lightened from homicidal to irritation. Aro walked to stand by his wife, sliding an arm around her middle.

"Johanna, apologize to your mother."

"No,"

"Johanna." Aro's voice was sharp and ready to discipline.

No, no, no, this was not what needed to happen. We were about to drive her into isolation again. No, no, no!

I opened my mouth to intervene – honestly, I didn't know what I was going to say; but just before sound left my mouth, Demetri spoke up.

"Master, allow me to take Johanna into the gardens for some fresh air? I think it would do us all some good."

All heads snapped to Demetri as if rehearsed. My head was a few milliseconds behind thanks to my dull human reflexes.

"I think that would be wise." Marcus answered, still seemingly more calm than everyone else in the room. Caius' hand found mine, holding it tightly as if my life was in danger. I glanced at his face, catching his stony expression.

Demetri didn't waste another second. He gestured toward the door for Johanna to leave.

Johanna

God, I just wanted these people to leave me the hell alone.

Seeing their nauseating sympathetic expressions and hearing their false words of caring were just enough to make me want to just…claw someone's eyes out. Seriously.

I didn't want to go outside. I didn't want to be alone with anyone. Especially Demetri.

Haven't I already been made enough into a spectacle? I felt like some damaged, freakish creature stuck behind bars for the world to see. The bars would have space enough for them to poke and prod me with their words.

I hated them all.

Yet…in that hatred, I hated myself for hating them. No, I hated myself anyway; hating them was just part of the deal. I couldn't be sure anymore. I felt like I didn't know myself anymore, and it pissed me off.

Demetri opened the door to the outside gardens for me, and his hand settled on my lower back. I arched my body away from him, making it obvious that I didn't want to be touched. Not by him, or anyone.

I didn't want to be touched ever again, really…

"Johanna, please." He spoke, his voice gentle with that goddamn pleading tone again.

"Shut up." I promptly replied, walking purposefully toward the brick wall of the courtyard with full intent to kick it. I slowed before I got there, my motivation diminishing to inflict more pain on myself. I stopped between the rosebushes and the fountain, sighing deeply, but slowly. I heard the water trickling rhythmically next to me, but I didn't hear Demetri approach. I felt him instead.

He stood directly behind me, the cool temperature of his body radiating through the air and my clothing to my own skin. He didn't have to touch me to tantalize me.

No, no, no, damn it, no.

The last time I felt that was when I was with Benito and look how that turned out. The feeling was bad. It was a looming chain and death sentence – like being able to wear a noose around your neck for a day before hanging from it in the evening. It was foreboding and promised inevitable pain.

No.

"Johanna?" he asked, his voice careful.

"Why did you bring me out here, Demetri?" I returned, trying to keep my voice in a monotone. God, I hadn't been outside in forever. It felt strange, like wearing a shirt backwards all day.

I didn't like it.

But then again, I was pretty numb at the time. I'd found a new way to deal with the pain. It worked for me – but it also has its costs. As did everything.

He paused, saying nothing. After several seconds, he spoke.

"We're all worried about you. You probably know that."

"Did they send you to spy on me or something?" I spat, rounding on him. I looked up at him, my face screwed into a furious expression.

"No." He said evenly, his jaw tightening in that little way that it did when Felix annoyed him.

"Then why did you bring me out here? God, Aro didn't ask you to kill me, did he? I know that I'm fucking useless to him anyway."

He bristled, affronted by my language. It was so funny how little words could get them to just lose their minds.

"No," he repeated, his teeth grit. "I thought you could use some fresh air. And I wanted to talk to you."

Demetri

Why did she have to make this so hard? Why? Couldn't she see the effort it took to keep myself from losing my composure and letting her have a piece of my mind? How badly I wanted to scold her for her behavior. Not because it was what Aro wanted – but because I could see that it was hurting her, and everyone around her.

Especially me.

Dear God, Demetri. This is all about you, isn't it?

This encounter already had me terribly on edge. Johanna was naturally pretentious and always itching for a fight, but this time, it was different. She wasn't fighting to win. She wasn't even fighting just to fight. Her entire presence smelt of something vile – chemical. Artificial. Unnatural.

It wrinkled my nose, a far cry from her lovely natural scent of honeysuckle and unfinished oak. Why did she smell that way? What had she done?

What was she going to do?

"Then talk." She said in a deadpan voice, looking me straight in the face. It was strange…her eyes were not focused. They were glossy and ghostly. Like the remnant of what used to be.

I felt as though I was talking to a crazed lunatic – a snake coiled and ready to strike without a moment's notice. I promised to be careful.

"Johanna…what have you done to yourself-?" I cut myself off. That didn't feel right to say. Try again. "What can I do to help you?"

She scoffed, and then laughed madly. The reaction frightened me.

"I'm beyond repair. I wasn't wanted to begin with. C'mon, you remember. When pwetty widdle Sera and I came to the fortress, Aro would only take her. But she insisted that I come along. He only agreed to it because he wanted her to be happy so badly that she'd stay. I was never wanted, Demetri. Do you know how much it sucks to be rejected and abandoned three times?"

I recoiled. Three times? I could only count two –

Oh.

Her mother.

I'd never considered how she felt about her early childhood. I doubted that she even remembered it. Apparently, I was wrong. She remembered more than I thought.

"Johanna…you may have felt rejected in the past…" I validated her feelings, seeing her neck and shoulders relax, encouraging me to continue. "But that is not the case now. You are somewhere where you are loved and cared for. Benito was wrong for you, and he obviously did not treasure the jewel before him. You are here and you are loved! If you seek no more rejection, then here I stand!"

The last sentence flew from my lips without thought. My heart crowded my judgment.

Damn. Was that a mistake?

I was shocked and surprised with myself. My eyes watched her intently. She blinked, her brows crinkling.

"…what?"

I took a deep breath, slightly extending my arms out to my sides. "Here I stand. I am in want of you. Nay, in need of you. I have felt it since you first arrived and began to reside with us. My Johanna…the fire within your soul is the fire I have been searching for my entire existence. Please say something?"

She only stared at me, the snake slowly uncoiling.

"What's the catch, hmm? What do you want from me? You can't want me. Nobody wants me."

"Then change my name to 'nobody'."

Her shoulders slumped and she looked down at the ground. The icy fortress around her melted, leaving her a vulnerable mess before me. I watched her carefully, reaching my hand forward and taking one of hers. She didn't yank it away as I anticipated, but instead, held it tighter. She tightened her chin as if trying to keep it from wobbling.

She looked up at me, large tears in her eyes. "I have waited and fantasized about someone wanting me for me – not for them. Demetri…I wish you had told me sooner."

Sooner? I was just realizing this now!

I reached up and touched her cheek. "I apologize."

Johanna

He wasn't lying. I could feel it.

It wasn't how I'd imagined it. Instead of feeling a piece of me becoming complete, I felt like something had broken of f and fell away forever.

He didn't know what I had planned.

He didn't know what I intended to do.

How could I continue knowing he felt this way about me?

"I apologize." He said, his thumb stroking the arch of my cheek. My tears spilled over as I leaned into his touch. I hated myself more than ever. Look what I'd done to him.

I was about to destroy him. I couldn't return this love that he had for me. I was incapable and inept.

"It's okay." I whispered. My eyes opened and looked up into his walnut-shaped crimson ones. His face was near mine, our foreheads almost touching. I found my arms lifting to hold onto his muscled upper biceps. I felt grounded with him; safe.

Everything I was feeling was contradictory. Everything was unsure, yet confident at the same time.

I couldn't think straight. I could barely concentrate.

Damn pills.

"Johanna…may I kiss you?"

My heart picked up for the first time in months. What? He wants to kiss…me?

I didn't respond; my silence being my answer. Our foreheads touched, and then our lips. I vaguely wondered if he could taste the painkillers I'd chewed up an hour previous. The thought disappeared after a moment into the kiss. If my thoughts weren't scrambled before, they definitely were then.

My arms moved up and hugged his neck, holding him desperately to me. He broke the kiss, his arm around my waist. My breathing was heavier, and I'm sure my cheeks were flushed.

It's from the cold, I lied to myself.

"Promise me you will let me care for you. Let me lift you from this darkness." He breathed against my lips.

I nodded, dazed and frankly, willing to let him kill me if he wished at the moment.

The roughened edges of my soul were softened, and I felt more human than I had in years.

Then my eyes opened suddenly.

This was a choice. One that I could make for myself and only me. One that Aro couldn't make for me or force upon me.

But was I making this choice for me or for Demetri?

Me. I want this.

"Is that your whole intention? To court me so I'll not be depressed?"

"I want you to be mine. Human, immortal, hateful, loving, purple, white, willing, or not."

A tremble flew through my body.

Good answer.

I nodded again. "Okay."

He blinked. "You're…agreeing?"

"Yup." I answered simply.

He smiled then, kissing me again.

It broke my heart somewhat to see him so happy.

He had no idea.

He had no idea.

Seraphina

Caius and I were lying on my bed, his arm around my waist and his nose in my hair. I was sipping hot chocolate – my favorite leisure treat – and trying not to snarf my hot chocolate by giggling from his actions.

"Someone's bashful," he remarked, and I could feel him smirking against my scalp.

"Someone is causing me to be," I volleyed, smirking also. Two could play this game.

"Your head is hotter – you're blushing."

"I am not!" By pointing it out, I was blushing more. He chuckled, kissing my head tenderly.

"You're adorable. Like my own personal kitten that I can play with all the day long and never tire of."

Aw, he called me his kitten.

I leaned against his chest more comfortably, turning my head to kiss his shoulder. He smiled, smoothing my hair out of my face. He set my hot chocolate on the nightstand, nuzzling my hair with his nose again.

The sounds and sensations around me suddenly dulled – something I had never experienced. I panicked for a brief moment. Was I dying? Passing out? Oh, please don't vomit again!

My vision didn't black out, but rather, was pushed away by something conjured in my mind. They were flashes – almost indiscernible flashes of something achingly familiar. There was a shot of Johanna's bathroom in her chambers; the floor…the light switch…and finally, a fading darkness. Though the blackness clouded my sight, I was fully conscious. I could hear Caius distantly calling for me; his tone was light, and then turned pleading.

"Sera? Seraphina. Seraphina!"

This couldn't be a vision, could it? It doesn't feel like one. It's…different. Are my visions evolving, or is this something else?

I was simultaneously and equally terrified as I was intrigued.

The energy was draining from me faster than I could gauge it. I'd never had a vision during the day before – if that's what this was, anyway.

The darkness stayed, enclosing me like a dense and inescapable fog.

Suddenly, it was over.

I gasped for air, as if I had stopped breathing for an entire minute. I turned my head to look at him, and he stared back at me in alarm.

"Where did you go? Are you all right?" he sounded very concerned, and his brow was creased in distress. I waved him off, bewildered myself.

"I'm fine…just tired. Exhausted, really. The performance and all…"

He sighed. "I should have known. It was cruel of me to demand your attention. Let me put you to bed."

Caius saying the words "me, you, bed" did something to me. A shiver ran down my spine, and I bit my lip to get a hold of myself. My cheeks flushed again, and he chuckled. I wasn't as discreet as I wished I could have been.

"My dearest Seraphina, you are more lustful than I ever would have imagined."

"Oh, shush!" I shrieked, smacking him with one of my smaller square pillows. He laughed, taking the hit before pulling back the covers and sliding me effortlessly into them. He covered me up and kissed my forehead.

"Are you going to stay?" I asked. He had stayed a couple nights at this point, and I felt foolish asking. Was this a scheduled thing now? Part of a routine? It was probably stupid to ask.

But he answered the same as he always did when I asked.

"If that is what you wish."

"And it is."

He smiled, lying next to me atop the covers. His lips found my head again, keeping them there for a few moments before letting go.

I closed my eyes, rolling against him and trying to sleep. I was determined to fall asleep – perhaps I would have a more clear vision of whatever that little Twilight Zone moment was…

One thing was for sure – my visions were trying to tell me something. I only wish I knew what it was.

I apologize for the untimeliness, dear ones! Things in my life are busy, but I'm all right; your concerns are touching. :) Next up is "An Angel Returned". As soon as I get back into the swing of my schedule, you will see more updates. After January, I'll be able to focus solely on my works. I've volunteered to write a show for a charity organization, and it's taking up all of my time and creative energy. Phew!

I'm also looking forward to writing more "fun" things. Less of this heavy and emotional business. "Childhood Tales" is one that I haven't touched in a while that I want to get back into. I've got some funny ideas set aside for it. If you have anything you'd like to see in it, let me know!

Please take a few moments to review. I love seeing all the followers and favorites, but I'd love some feedback as well.

I miss you loves. I hope to be seeing more of you soon! :)

Loves,

Dani Jones