Love Me Dead

Chapter 2: A Devoted Wife

Cody finishes reading the poem he wrote for his mother. He's surprisingly calm. After Rita died, he cried once. Since then, he's just kept going, same old Cody. He hasn't complained about change, he hasn't become a recluse, he doesn't seem to be severely affected. Observing him from a stranger's point of view, you wouldn't even guess that his mother had just been murdered.

Astor, on the other hand, quickly glances at me with loathing while we sit at the pew, listening to Cody's poem. She blames me for her mother's death. I don't see the point in arguing. She needs someone to make a scapegoat, to concentrate her hate on, in order to make herself feel slightly better. Not only that; she's right. I am, after all, the reason Rita is lying in that coffin right now.

Likewise, Gail is consumed with a cool contempt for me. Rather than lash out in a fit of rage as Astor frequently likes to, Gail rarely speaks. She eyes me with an icy stare, and speaks in an emotionless voice, making the odd remark about my poor skills as a husband, at my poor skills as a member of the police if I failed to prevent her daughter from dying.

How do I respond? All around me, I have people hating me, people trying to prove Rita's death was my fault, people awkwardly trying to comfort me, people trying to get me to talk about feelings I don't have. Having to deal with so many difficult social situations at once, Chedexternobyl has gone into meltdown.

So I sit here and let everyone do what they want with me, as I try and find a way to cope.

"Why don't you say something Dexter?" Cody says brightly, as he returns to the pew. Gail looks over, giving me another one of her icy stares.

"Yes Dexter, why don't you? I mean, she was your wife after all," Gail says, clearly stabbing at my seeming lack of emotion.

"Umm, OK," I say pathetically, as I stumble to my feet. I clear my throat, and look around the room, filled with so many people I don't know. Rita's friends, I assume. "Well," I say quietly, "thank you for er, coming here today. It's an honour to er, know I was married to such a, a well-loved woman. She brightened the lives of everybody she met, despite the terrible past she suffered. She was a wonderful mother, a wonderful wife, and...perfect. She was perfect for me. She deserved to die of old age, not be...murdered. Her life was cut short, undeservedly. But while she was here, she was the most beautiful woman I've ever known, and I'm sure she'll be just as popular and loved in Heaven, as she remains here on Earth." I clear my throat and give a hopeful smile, then return to my seat. People around me supply me with compliments for my sickeningly corny speech. Astor and Gail retain their cold personae. Cody looks up at me, smiling cheerily.

"That was good Dexter," he says. His smile suddenly turns to a frown. "We are going to get ice-cream after this aren't we?" he asks innocently, concerned for a frosty delicacy rather than the burial of his mother. Astor looks at him in disbelief and breaks down into hysterical tears.

The sooner this day is over, the better.

–

"And so we so goodbye to Rita Morgan, a devoted wife, a loving mother, and a beautiful daughter." The vicar concludes his speech. Deb looks at me.

"Do you want some time alone?" she asks.

"Umm, sure." Deb nods, and people begin moving away. Only Astor, Cody, Gail and I- cradling Harrison- remain, silently staring at the gravestone.

"Can we go get some ice cream now?" Cody whines. "You promised, Dexter."

"Why don't you shut up about your ice cream for once Cody?" Astor cuts across sharply as I was about to respond. "Mom's dead and you don't even care! She isn't coming back Cody. Ever." Cody's bottom lip quivered.

"Why do you have to be horrible to me? Just because I'm not crying all the time. What's the point in crying? It's not going to bring Mom back," Cody argues. Astor was ready to lunge for Cody, but Gail held her back.

"Quiet! Both of you!" Gail scolds the children. "Both of you, back to the car now. Astor, take Harrison and strap him in the car seat. I'll be along with Dexter in a moment." Gail snatches Harrison out of my arms and hands him to Astor, who storms off grumpily, Cody trailing behind. Gail turns to me and sighs.

"Why didn't you do anything just then Dexter?" she asks.

"I was about to. You beat me to it," I respond honestly. Gail glares, sighing again.

"You have to handle three children now, as well as your job, which you're out for a lot of the time. Along with whatever you seem to do at night. And that's not to mention the growing suspicion that you were responsible for my daughter's murder. I'm not saying it was you, but the investigation will keep you in the station a lot more than usual. Who's going to look after the kids while all this is going on?"

"I can cope. When I'm not around, I'll hire a nanny." Gail sighs. Again. My urge to kill is rising.

"These children are orphans, Dexter. Except Harrison, but that's not my point. They need someone they know looking after them, not a stranger. You're too busy, and I don't think your parenting skills are up to the appropriate standard. Why don't you let me take them off your hands?"

"Thank you for the offer Gail, but it's not necessary," I say politely.

"It wasn't an offer, Dexter. It's an order. I'm not going to cut you out of the children's lives, but if you don't give me full custody of them, you will leave me no choice."

I look at Gail, unsure how to respond. I see a shovel, a pile of dirt, and an empty grave a few metres away.

Don't tempt me.