So it didn't take me as long to come out with this one, and I wanted to make sure you got your time's worth so, at least on Microsoft Word, its nine pages long! Much longer than the last pitiful chapters! To Mr. CJ of Blackwater and Badkidoh, thank you for your PM's and constant comments just know that you and all of you who read my stories and chapters and miserable attempts at piecing together a story are what keep me going. You have no idea how much your constant suggestions and praise means to me. Thanks guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will let you know now that the story itself is coming to a close very soon. Keep reading, I hope I don't disappoint and remember to leave constructive criticism and comments in the comment section. Thanks guys!

Chapter 12: A Friend in Need

"What's it say?" I watched Croc read over the small note a couple of times and for a moment wondered if he could read at all. "Croc, what does it say?"

He crumpled up the paper and threw it over his shoulder. "Nothing, some bullshit about the Joker getting outta here next time. And something about building an army to take down Gotham." I cocked an eyebrow at him. I was leaned up against the glass of his cell with my arms folded across my chest. I stared at him curiously, my red eyes scrutinizing him.

"An army?"

Croc shrugged. "Like I said: Joker bullshit. That's all it is."

This time I shrugged. "Seems like a lot of trouble—and risk—just to inform you of some bullshit fantasy."

"You clearly don't know what the Joker's capable of, or what he's willing to do to get shit done."

I laughed. "Oh yes I do. But Lilly isn't going to allow Joker to escape. She's got him locked down all hours of the day, his meals are taken to him by heavily armed guards, he has three self-repairing indestructible cameras in his cell going at all times, and his wrists and ankles are constantly chained together at all times." I shrugged again. "He isn't going to get out. Let's add onto that, shall we, that Lilly is constantly, constantly watching his every move! Hell, a few of the screens monitoring his cell are set up in Lilly's apartment in the Mansion." Croc shook his head.

"That's not going to stop him. Nothing can." He sounded so sure.

I grinned at him. "Bet you could."

Croc laughed quietly. "Put the two of us in the same room with only the clothes on our backs, no tricks, you bet your ass I could." He was quiet for a moment and then broke the silence with. "Why'd you deliver this anyway?"

"What do you mean?" I asked. He walked over and sat on his mattress, which buckled and groaned under his tremendous weight.

"I mean, shouldn't you have given it to the Warden or somethin'?"

I shrugged again. "I guess, if she hadn't agreed to sleep with me in return." I grinned.

Croc was genuinely surprised. "The fuck?" I laughed aloud.

"That's right! I'm gonna get a piece of Harley by the end of tonight." Croc's stare seemed to darken as he smiled devilishly. It made me very uncomfortable. "What?"

"You've changed, Doc. If it were your first day, you would've never had agreed to bang an inmate. You sure as hell wouldn't have said 'get a piece of Harley'. And now here you are a few weeks later, guilty for both." He grinned evilly. "What happened to you?"

I shrugged. I noticed too, of course, he's right. I wouldn't have done or said many things I've done or said in the past few days. Not on my first day, or my first week. However, I'd been here for almost a month and I was starting to get use to the inmates, the way they like to be treated, the way they talk, and of course, the way I felt around them. Secure; like I was surrounded by an understanding company. It was almost as if, I belonged in one of those cells.

"As Bane said." I cocked a devilish grin. "Just because I've committed no crimes, it doesn't mean I'm any less of a monster."

Croc laughed so hard he was almost in tears now. I found myself blushing.

"What?"

Croc continued laughing loudly, he put his hands over his stomach and his shoulders jostled up and down violently. At this point I was getting pissed off. "WHAT?!"

Through gasps he managed to heave out words. "You? You're…a...monster?" He continued to laugh, his cold golden eyes filling with small diamonds that rolled down his scaly cheeks. Finally he simmered down enough to make full sentences. "If you're a monster I'm the Mar-keese duh-fuckin-Sad!"

I cocked an eyebrow and sighed. "It's pronounced Marquis De Sade, you knuckle-headed dropout." He looked down at me and growled. His laughter ceased immediately. He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and hoisted me off the ground.

"'The fuck'd you call me?" I grew tense as I felt my feet rise from the security of the tiles beneath me. I put my hands up to show I meant no harm by it.

"Calm down, Croc! I didn't mean anything by it, I always call my friends names. It's completely harmless, I swear!" I look into those tiny golden eyes, so small compared to the massive jaw and railroad spike-teeth. His knuckles grazed my chest underneath my shirt. It felt like sandpaper despite the fabric guarding my flesh.

"Listen here, Doc," Croc said with a bloodthirsty tone. "We ain't friends, we're acquaintances at best. If I could get away with it, I'd rip your ass into pieces right here and now and not hesitate to eat you afterwards. I took Cash's hand; I'll take your head!" He threw me to the ground, which I hit hard enough to let out a small cry of pain. I didn't realize until just now how bruised I still was from the numerous beatings I've taken since I got here.

Suddenly two guards with high-powered rifles busted through the door of the room and aimed their guns at the glass. "Stand down, Croc or we will open fire!"

I looked to them and held up a hand. "Stop! What the hell are you doing? I was the one that agitated him! I've got this under control!" They merely stood where they were, weapons still trained. I didn't want them to leave. Oh no, in fact I wanted nothing more than to be out of that cell, I probably would've let them shoot Croc a few times, just to get him away from me. However, they wouldn't be much help behind the bulletproof glass. "Goddammit put your fucking weapons down!"

But it was too late.

Croc roared behind me and dove at me. I could almost swear I saw my life flash before my eyes. However, working and conflicting with the inmates of the prison had left me reactive enough to move out of the path of Croc's assault. I rolled to the side and instantly found my footing. The guards were fumbling with the lock on the cell so I turned to see Croc's status. Unfortunately, he was now bull-rushing my position. He had his massive arms sprawled out like he was attempting a ferocious death-hug. I put up my hand and attempted an authoritative "Stop!" However, he was too blinded by rage to hear a single word I managed to utter. I shifted to my right and stepped successfully out of his way so he'd slam into the thick, seemingly indestructible glass behind me. His head made a loud explosion against the glass and Croc fell unconscious to the ground.

I watched his body slump to the floor and pressed my back against the glass and panted heavily. The guards finally got the glass door to open and rushed in to subdue Croc. Giving him a few jolts with the collar they seemed only now to remember. His unconscious figure seized violently on the floor. It was hard to watch. But I did for a few moments. It was some sort of mental revenge I guess. "You should go, Doctor," one of the guards warned. "If Croc wakes up he'll be one cranky motherfucker."

I nodded and slipped out of the door of the cell and subsequently exited the massive vault-like entrance to the entire room. I sprinted down the hallway and nearly screamed when I crashed into the hulking chest of my brother Stone. He gripped my shoulders with powerful hands and kept me from falling to the floor in fear. I was pale, I could tell, but I was hardly capable of coherent speech. "What happened?" He demanded from me. There was no humor or comedy in his tone. He was worried about me and this was his only way of showing it, through anger.

I blacked out there, in his grip.

xXx

When I awoke I found myself in my apartment in the mansion. I sat up and groaned, hardly capable of recalling what had happened the previous day. I sighed and threw the comforter off my bed and stood up groggily. "Damn, my head hurts."

Slowly but surely the events of yesterday came back to me. When I looked at my phone I realized it was ten o'clock in the morning. Two days later!

"Damn," I muttered to myself. "I've been out that long?" I shrugged and sighed walking into my bathroom and undressing to grab a quick shower before taking off for the day's schedule. I still couldn't believe Lilly or Gorian or even Kainan would let me sleep that long. As I watched the suds disappear into the drain of my shower I realized something that seemed so crucial to me two days ago. But now, I merely shrugged. "Damn, missed my 'appointment' with Harley." For whatever reason, I wasn't feeling as up for knocking boots with the clown as much as I had when we struck the deal. "Not like it would matter to her, wasn't like she was actually interested. Why the hell would I fuck a girl that wasn't interested?" Desperation, that's all it was. I turned off the water and shivered at the cool air rushing out of the air ducts across from the tub. I wrapped my slender waist with a towel and walked into my room, seating myself on the edge of my bed and exhaling deeply. "Damn," I muttered again. "Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn! Damn! DAMN!" I got to my feet, launching a fist through the drywall. It went directly through with little opposition. I turned to the adjacent wall and launched a fist through that one as well, again, without so much as any kind of resistance from the wall itself.

I sat back down on my bed and groaned, running my paint-encrusted fingers through my snow-white hair. I didn't know why exactly I put my fist through two walls. I guess it was just one of those days. I seem to be having them a lot lately.

I fucked up everything. I thought to myself with gritted teeth. I can't believe I fucked up all I worked so hard to accomplish with Jones. I tried so hard to get him to trust me and one slip of the tongue blew that right out of the water! I impulsively knocked myself in the head with the palm of my hand, I barely felt the pain. "Shit, shit, shit, SHIT, SHIT!" I continued to curse, every so often popping myself in the side of the head with my palm. "Fuck!"

"Damian?"

The voice almost made me scream. It was so quiet, so calm, like softly running water. I don't know why I said her name. I guess it just reminded me of… "Carmen?"

"No, it's Lilly, can I come in?"

I was so disappointed it wasn't Carmen. I knew she was dead. I guess I kinda wished I was too. I slipped on some pajama bottoms and sighed walking over and opening the door. "What's up?"

Lilly was wearing casual wear. She didn't wear that often, but there she was, in a t-shirt with a mask on it which resembled that of the Assassin Deathstroke and a pair of blue jeans. "I heard you screaming at yourself. You alright?"

I walked past her, through my living room, and into the kitchen where I pulled out a carton of chocolate milk and proceeded to down the rest of the container. I wiped my mouth and asked the question that was bugging me greatly. "What are you doing in my apartment, Lilly?"

"I came by to ask you something. I just want to know if you're alright first. We can talk if you need to." She grabbed for my shoulder to comfort me but I pulled away. I didn't want to be touched for some reason, not even by the sibling that raised me.

"What did you come to ask me?"

She looked at me with concern in her eyes. Then she sighed. "Alright, I came by because a few of the guards down in the monitor room swore they saw Harley Quinn give you something a couple days ago. I meant to ask you yesterday but you never answered any of my calls."

"You called me?" I asked incredulously. "We live in the same fucking building and you couldn't check on me personally?"

Lilly's expression darkened. "What did Harley Quinn give you Damian?"

I frowned. "A lot of lip and sarcasm, what else would she give me?"

Lilly sighed. "Damian, for as long as you and I have been family, have spoken to each other and confided with each other, I think I can tell when you're lying to me."

I gritted my teeth. "Fine! She gave me a note to give to Killer Croc!"

This answer understandably surprised Lilly. "A note?"

"Yes, a note! You happy?"

"Not really. Where is it?"

"I threw it away," I lied.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you bring it straight to my office, Damian?" Her boot began tapping against the linoleum of my kitchen floor. "I also want to know why you keep LYING to me!" She screamed the word "lying" and it caused a sudden flinch from me. As I've said before, Lilly didn't yell very often.

"I'm not fucking lying to you! I threw it away in one of the trashcans in the penitentiary! Go check for yourself!"

Lilly sighed, rubbing her temples. "Damian, for god's sake, we have you on the cameras handing it over to Killer Croc!" She looked up at me with betrayal in her expression. It hurt to see it so clearly in her stare. Like a knife in the chest. She walked over to the door and opened it. Before she stepped through she turned back to me. "Damian, you are hereby forbidden to step foot outside of the Mansion. You have been suspended from your duties as a member of the Arkham Asylum psychiatric ward and will be until further notice." And with that she stepped out of the door and shut it tight.

Her words rang like gunshots in my mind. Suspension?

I was being suspended?

My back hit the refrigerator where I subsequently slid to the floor. I sat there for some time thinking about what I did. Like a child in timeout.

"I lied to Lilly," I told myself, tears welling in my eyes. I couldn't believe this. I've never lied to Lilly in all my life. Not even when we were kids. I told her everything, always the truth. Why did I lie to her now?

My mind began fluttering around in my skull. I thought of Stone, Gorian, Kainan, Rex, Croc, and all of the other inmates I would be disallowed to visit for god knows how long. I admitted to myself, despite what happened two days ago, I would miss Croc the most. He tried to kill me, again, but I would miss seeing him each day.

Why? Why would I miss Croc? He's an inmate, a murderer, a monster, and let's not forget he tried to kill me only a couple days ago and not for the first time. Why do I constantly feel the need to put myself in harm's way? And for whom? A crazy muscled psychopath with a bad skin condition!

Am I…?

I could hardly finish the thought. I sighed and asked myself. "Am I falling in love with Jones?"

Fortunately I wretched at the very thought of any sexual activity concerning the inmate and myself. "Oh thank god it's not that!"

I walked into my living room and slumped into my plush armchair. "So why am I constantly going back to his cell? If not for love, attention maybe? Acceptance? Pity? Self-gratification? What!?

I sat forward in my chair and thought it over. Of course, I could come to no concrete conclusion. I groaned and sat back in my seat. "All that fucking time in Gotham University, following the career that I deemed my ticket out of loneliness and alienation, for what? A man-crush on a medical anomaly! A psychopathic animal-minded mass murderer!

I sighed into my hands and thought of only one other conclusion. "Am I losing my mind?" I thought for a moment of all that I had encountered and witnessed in my short time here at Arkham. Then I sighed and nodded. "That's it then." I scratched the back of my head anxiously. "I must be going nuts, round the bend, coo-coo for fucking coco puffs!" I laughed. "Damn."

A knock at the door forced a surprised grunt from me. I looked over at the front door and immediately thought of a couple of men in white coats with a straight jacket waiting for me on the other side. Then I scratched my head and scolded myself for being paranoid. "Yeah, it's open, c'mon in!"

Rex entered. Something was different about him. I couldn't quite place my finger on it, but there it was. "Hey," he said simply, closing the door behind him.

"Hey," I replied with an absent-minded wave in his direction.

"What's up man?" He muttered quietly. What's different about him?

"Not much, wallowing in self-pity. Yourself?"

He laughed. "Doing the same, I guess."

I cocked an eyebrow. "What do you have to be self-pitiful about?"

"Mr. Freeze, I guess."

"Fries? What about him?"

He shrugged. "His cooling device broke again."

"What the hell is going on with that thing? This is the second time today." I did the math in my head. "And about the eighth time this fucking week!"

"I know. I don't know what to do with it man! I keep tinkering with it and ultimately repairing it, only to have the damn thing on the fritz three hours later." He groaned and took a seat on the couch cushion closest to me. "What's worse, the bastard keeps asking specifically for me to fix the damn thing. Every time it breaks!"

"Did you?"

"Not this time. This time I let Barkley fix the damn thing."

"Barkley?"

"My right-hand, pretty much," Rex replied. "He got hired on shortly after I was and we've been partners ever since. He'll be taking my spot as head of repairs when I eventually retire from this damn deathtrap."

I chuckled. "And how's the retirement plan going?"

"Lousy!" he retorted humorously.

We both shared a laugh for a few moments which died as quickly as it came.

"So…?" Rex finally said after almost a minute of awkward silence.

"So?" I mimicked.

"What was the punishment? Ya know…for transporting the note to Croc?"

"Jesus!" I snapped. "Lilly told you already?"

Rex shook his head. "No, I repair the cameras in the security monitoring station. I know all the footage those puppies record." He pointed at me. "Including your little back-and-forth with Harley."

"Suspension until further notice," I replied with a roll of the eyes. "I guess Lilly assumes I'm too mentally compromised to continue working at my utmost efficiency." I gave another absent-minded wave of the hand. "Whatever."

"Are you?" Rex didn't miss a beat with the question.

"Yeah, probably," I didn't miss a beat either.

"Wanna talk about it, dude?"

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm going nuts man." I rested my forehead in my palm, which was propped up by an elbow. "I think I'm starting to lose it in here."

Rex shrugged. "Doubt it."

"Oh?"

He smiled. "In my experience, crazy people don't often admit that they're crazy. They don't usually realize it either." I supposed there was some logic behind that statement. How would I know? I'm just a fucking psychiatrist!

"Ugh!" I groaned rubbing my temples. "I can't take this shit anymore man!"

"Then quit." Rex shrugged at the suggestion.

"I can't. If I do that I'll lose my apartment and go back to my lonely existence in Gotham without my best friend and family." I emphasized my next choice of words. "That will drive me nuts!"

"Fuck man," Rex laughed. "Then I'll quit with you!"

I scowled at the comment. "Rex, how much do you make at this job?"

"About $95,000 a year."

"Exactly, shut the fuck up!"

Rex laughed. "Money's money man, but friends are more important than that to me, you know that man. They print more money every day that goes by. I don't think I'll find anymore of you."

I shook my head with a laugh. "Guess that's true."

"'Sides," he said punching my shoulder. "I miss when we used to hang out in Gotham, hit the clubs and bars, flirt with the local females, and take 'em home to pound their brains out."

I laughed. "You mean all the times you got the hot one and I was stuck with the quirky friend!"

"Whatever dude, what about those twins?"

"Rex, the one I was left with had like, four teeth left in her head!"

This cause a round of thunderous laughter from the two of us, when it died down, Rex said. "Well, I think this new, edgier Damian might just leave me with the quirky friends." He lifted his eyebrows at me. I shook my head.

"The only thing this so-called "edgy" Damian will leave you with is a headache and a police record." Another bout of laughter.

"Shee-it! I got that all by myself!" Rex countered. We laughed again. It felt good.

"Damn man, I don't think I've laughed like that since I got here."

"Happy to help," Rex said with a wink. He looked around my apartment. "Got any booze in this place?"

I grinned. "Plenty."

So, we enjoyed the night, two friends who had found each other once again after long last. Rex Draven, my brother-in-arms and the only reason I still kept my sanity. I knew this to be fact. We split a bottle of Jim Beam and chugged the stuff from the bottle. We sang, we laughed, we cried, and we threw up. Just like the good old days, god how I missed them.

Suddenly I didn't miss Croc so much. Suddenly, I didn't feel the need to knock boots with an inmate nor did I notice the strange difference in Rex. I just wanted this night to last forever. I never wanted the sun to rise.

But we never get what we want.

Do we?

We both ultimately passed out on the couch and armchair. The night did end. The sun did rise and bring us the next day. And little did I know; this particular day was the day I threw my life to the sharks and watched it replaced with a cloud of blood.

I would have never expected myself capable of what I did.

I never expected myself capable of murder…

(Not to ruin the mood I hope this chapter's end created. But it's understandably come to my attention that an anonymous reader has accused Damian of being a Mary Sue. I have no qualms with you Anon. I just wish you'd have posted with your name. I'm not angry. I appreciate the constructive criticism. I would also like to assure you guys that I am trying my best to keep Damian out of those waters and hope the rest of you don't see him as a Mary Sue or Gary Stu or whatever you call them. If you think he is or isn't, please I would appreciate the honest remarks in the comment section. Thanks again!)

CHAPTER 13 COMING SOON!