Explanations and Excuses Chapter 18: Things Written and Unwritten, a mass effect fanfic

A/N: Sorry for the delay. This chapter's a doozy; I totally underestimated the amount of research I had to do just to write the draft.

Translation Available! My friend morbus-rus has kindly translated my story into Russian: Объяснения и причины ( Story ID 6525059 )

Poll Results: See post-chapter A/N.

Disclaimer: Mass Effect... and so on... belongs to BioWare.

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Explanations and Excuses

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Chapter 18: Things Written and Unwritten

Shepard was fuming. He impatiently waited for the holomatrix scanning to finish.

He had returned to the Normandy, and later took Liara for a personal tour around the SR-2. She was still as attractive as he remembered. Even more attractive, due to her maturing over the past two years and a half, and also because of how relieved she was of the burden that had been gnawing at her, the burden of her revenge against the Shadow Broker.

But they both realized, that whatever attraction they had for each other, it was squarely in the past. She had Feron now, and he had Miranda.

Miranda. The feisty, but extremely professional and dedicated XO had resumed her duties aboard the Normandy. No doubt under constant watchful eyes of Dr. Chakwas. But still, without her aboard, Shepard would feel lost. [1]

Liara had met his girlfriend earlier when the asari boarded the Normandy. They had traded stories about each other, picking up things of the past. Shepard was a bit envious of them; it was clear that they shared a history among them. He resolved to ask more about it when he and his girlfriend are in a more ... private and intimate situation.

After Liara left, Shepard had originally wanted to spend some time with Miranda. But then he remembered the OSD containing some information he pulled from the Shadow Broker's database. Curious about its content, he opened it using his private terminal, reading the files one by one alphabetically (purposefully making a conscious effort to read Miranda's last).

The file for Cerberus made him explode with rage. He immediately left his quarters and stormed the bridge, demanding to speak to The Illusive Man.

As soon as the holoimage of The Illusive Man appeared, he charged. "I demand explanations! You lied to me!" Shepard shouted at the Cerberus leader, pointing at said man with the right index finger.

The Illusive Man calmly took a drag from his cigarette, and puffed a copious amount of smoke, ignoring Shepard's anger. Needless to say, such display of nonchalantness annoyed Shepard greatly.

"'Lied' is a loaded word, Shepard," The Illusive Man replied calmly.

"Yeah? Then how would you explain all information the Shadow Broker has about you? And don't tell me they're manufactured!" Shepard shot back.

Again nonchalantly, The Illusive Man tapped his cigarette on an ashtray. "Oh, they are not manufactured, I assure you. But neither have I lied," he calmly said.

"Bullshit!"

The Illusive Man just smiled, and challenged, "Then humor me, Shepard. Show me where I have lied to you."

"Like Jack, for instance! You said you didn't know what happened to her!"

"I didn't know the full extent. I only know the partial details."

"Partial, my ass! You knew Teltin was experimenting on her!"

"That's right," The Illusive Man nodded in agreement.

"So how dare you say you don't know what happened!" Had there been a physical table in front of him, Shepard would've slammed it with both hands. The inexistence of such implement just added to his frustrations.

"I knew they experimented Omega-Enkaphalin on her. And I knew they were training her. But not *how* they trained her."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"I don't care if you believe me or not, but that's the fact."

"A fact you made up, I bet!"

The Illusive Man took a drag, and continued, "Had I approved of what they're doing, would I let Teltin fell into disrepair? Would I severely punish those involved? Would I let Aresh and the Blood Packs take control?"

Seeing that Shepard had no retort, The Illusive Man continued, "Shepard, had I approved of what they did on Teltin, the Jack incident would not result in the total shutdown of the facility. I'd just restart, and even *maybe* recruit like-minded individual like Aresh."

"Yeah, like you didn't try," Shepard spat out, feeling like he really wanted to spit.

"I didn't. If I did, would he associate himself with the Blood Pack?"

"That still doesn't convince me."

"Action speaks louder than words, Shepard. Remember our incident with the quarians?"

Shepard recalled the Cerberus leader's explanation on that incident.

Without waiting for the commander's reply, The Illusive Man explained, "That incident happened partly because we no longer attempted our own 'training' of biotics. Especially since Teltin is a concrete example of our own ... stupidity. We let the Jon Grissom Academy do our training now."

Shepard was surprised to hear the name of the academy. "But... that's an Alliance facility..."

"Don't be so surprised, Shepard. We have sleeper agents everywhere. Not to mention sympathizers within the Alliance ranks."

The Illusive Man inhaled more smoke before he continued, "And as to Omega-Enkaphalin, you should be glad that Matriarch Tilia Eraza is now no longer an influential asari."

Shepard eyed the Cerberus leader suspiciously. "I read her name. Who is she, and why should I be glad?"

"Well, for one, she's a 'biotic supremacist'. Ever heard of that?"

Shepard shook his head. "No. Not really."

"Then allow me to enlighten you," said The Illusive Man as he leaned back and made himself comfortable.

"Back during the days when humanity first appeared on the galactic stage, after the cease-fire and peace agreement solution that the Citadel engineered between us and the turians, there has been this... political movement against the full integration of humanity into the Citadel.

"Matriarch Tilia Eraza was the key person for this movement. Her battle cry - so to speak - was always, 'No place for non-biotic race.' Of course, the intent was less 'biotic supremacy' than a veiled attempt at stopping humanity's ascension, but the movement gained quite the follower.

"The Alliance jumpstarted the BaAT program to ensure that the 'biotic supremacists' main objection to humanity, will cease to exist. But they know that humanity will always be considered a second-class citizen of biotic users, because we never inherited biotic abilities naturally. So, the Alliance contacted us to help solve this... issue.

"So, we 'applied' Omega-Enkaphalin to the Matriarch. She lost most of her biotic powers, and suddenly the movement splintered on its own; one faction, the original conceptors of the movement, wanted to keep her. The other faction, the majority - who thought that the movement is truly about biotic powers - wanted to get rid of her.

"The bickering gave The Alliance enough time to develop squads of biotic soldiers, and thus silenced the supremacists."

Shepard just stood there, folding his arms. "Sounds like a tall tale to me."

"Indeed," The Illusive Man nodded. "Why don't you ask Samara about the supremacists. I believe she's old enough to remember all the details."

"I will," Shepard said in a challenging tone.

"Good, you'll be surprised. Disturbingly surprised."

Shepard felt disturbed already with the Cerberus leader's last sentence, but he set aside his feelings as he tried to regain his rightful rage. Suddenly he remembered, "You experimented the Omega-Enkaphalin on captive asaris! That's... horrific!"

"We do not have enough biotic humans Shepard. Not now, and much less then. We don't want to sacrifice valuable resource," The Illusive Man replied, looking slightly bored.

"But... the asaris! You once said that you don't initiate war against other races! You lied about that, too!"

"No, we did *not* open a front against the asaris, so to speak."

"Then explain where you get your 'captive asaris'! Abduction? Kidnapping? Maybe sacking some innocent souls of the streets of Illium?" Shepard practically shouted; he couldn't bear the thought of the act he just accused.

"No," The Illusive Man decisively said. "If we did *that*, it would be against Illium law, and we can no longer operate there. The 'captive asaris', to use your term, comes from a source that's choc-full of them, and oftentimes considered a scourge."

"You mean..."

"The Eclipse mercenaries."

Shepard found himself in a bit of quandary. On one hand, he disliked the idea of experimenting with captive asaris. But on the other hand, he disliked the Eclipse mercenaries even more.

"Come now, Shepard. I know there's no lost love between you and the Eclipse. Remember Wasea? The Sisterhood? Enyala? Not all asaris are angels like Ms. Liara T'soni. And even she... had her blemishes."

The mention of Liara's name sent a pang of nostalgia down Shepard's memory lane. A silence ensued for several long seconds before Shepard finally said, "Alright. Next question then. SSV Geneva."

"What about it?" The Illusive Man asked.

"You're trying to steal antimatter from that ship."

The Illusive Man tapped his cigarette onto his ashtray. "Truth is stranger than fiction, Shepard."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "You mean?"

"It was supposed to be a *transfer* of ownership - so to speak - of said antimatter from the Alliance to us, but in a way that will absolve the Alliance of having to explain why they support a 'rogue' organization like us."

"Wait," Shepard half-raised his left hand as his mind tried to process what The Illusive Man just said. "You mean, that was staged? You mean, the Alliance had planned to give the antimatter to you? Bullcrap, I say! Bullcrap!"

"No, it was just a very unfortunate stroke of bad luck. We had not prepared for the sudden inspection of SSV Geneva by Admiral of the Fleet Hayburn. He liked to bring his full coterie, and that day, our operatives ran into his men."

Shepard just snorted. "Yeah, and pigs can fly."

"Seriously, Shepard, when a hearing was held, why do you think it only resulted in the naming of 'Cerberus' as the sponsor? Why no take down, intensive investigation, implementation of better security?"

"Your men were controlling the hearing, I guess."

"Partially that, but also because some higher-ups in the Alliance wanted to bury their intimate relation with Cerberus."

"What did you plan on using the antimatter for, anyways?"

"I'm sorry Shepard, I cannot divulge you that. Let that be a surprise. Or not," The Illusive Man replied in a tone that clearly indicated he would not entertain that question anymore.

"Okay. There's also the question as to why you equipped the crime syndicates in batarian space with weapons then? Aren't you supposed to keep the edge colonies safe?"

"Yes. And we managed to tie up a significant amount of their military and law enforcement forces to combating the syndicates, instead of letting them cherry-pick our colonies."

"That's fighting fire with fire. Aren't you afraid that they will misuse their strength?"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. They learnt well from the example we did on Trident," The Illusive Man replied smugly.

Something clicked in Shepard's mind. "The massacre of the salarian crime syndicate? Aha, don't try to tell me you killed them only to set an example! I know you're trying to control their drug trafficking!"

"I never said that the Trident massacre was *just* to set an example. Stop putting words into my mouth, Shepard," The Illusive Man said, rather annoyed.

"But... narcotics! Drugs! That makes Cerberus as lowly as the syndicate!"

"Not really. Supply them to the right planets - where humans are insignificant in numbers - and the drugs will have a good strategic value."

Shepard scoffed at the Cerberus leader's words. "Good value you mean. Money. That trade's gotta be worth millions of credits per month."

"*Hundreds* of millions, actually," The Illusive Man corrected. "But besides the money - which, admittedly, is nice to have - through drugs we can virtually control the level of anarchy on a non-human planet."

"That's... an outrageous plan!"

"Not necessarily Shepard. If you're surrounded by powerful *potential* threats, it's a good strategy to make them decay from within."

Shepard folded his arms. "And then attack them. So, that's it then? The best defense is an offense?"

The Illusive Man sighed. "Shepard, how many times I've told you, conquest is not the goal of Cerberus. Especially to ensure the survival of humanity. You know that humanity's outlying colonies - which the Alliance termed 'edge outposts' - are very poorly defended. A confrontation, and you can kiss those colonies goodbye. Hell, if stronger powers decided to be a bully... even the Alliance is not in position to defend them properly! It is wise then to busy them with internal issues enough to prevent them from attacking."

Shepard stood there defused. He knew he's losing this battle of wit. The commander-now-captain still tried to mount his last offense. "Still, you have lots of blood in your hand."

"You have to break some eggs to make omelets, Shepard."

"Is it necessary to kill Pope Clement XVI?"

"I apologize for offending your Catholic sensibilities, Shepard, but that was necessary. The pope was no longer in touch with interstellar realities, so he had to go."

Shepard folded his arms. "And what makes you say that?"

"Just look at current Pope Leo XIV. Or even all members of the school of cardinals," The Illusive Man swung his arm to emphasize his point. "They were all also Pope Clement XVI's cardinals. They have long known the dangers of the galaxy to humanity. Any one of them will make a good replacement for Clement XVI. Which is fortunate, because we have no say whatsoever in the selection process of a pope." [2]

Shepard just shook his head. "But assassinating God's chosen leader for the Catholic church? You're playing with fire. Here, and in the afterlife."

"I believe the ends justify the means in this case. I'll take my chances with God. He'll see that I ultimately did it for the sake of humanity. Sometimes it is better for one man to die, than allowing billions to perish."

"One? You killed the whole crew of MSV Anixara!"

"Raherix Ursivus was one slippery and *very* sensitive target. Attempting to take him out anywhere else would cause a war."

"Worth the tens of lives aboard the Anixara? That's hard to believe! Why not let the diplomatic lines work?"

"With him in the hierarchy, the question of another war against the turians is not an 'if', but a 'when'. He's well-known for being especially embittered about the turians losing against humans during the First Contact War. The crew died heroes, although no one knows about that. Except Cerberus and the Alliance."

"What? Leave the Alliance out of this!"

"Like I said earlier, truth is stranger than fiction. The Alliance had contacted us months earlier for 'a solution to the Ursivus problem'. Suffice to say, we delivered the result they wanted."

Again, another silence as Shepard pondered what the Cerberus leader told him. Not feeling as enraged as before, he asked "What about Claude Mennau?"

"He's a thorn in the side. Uncontrollable. We can't risk Terra Firma to devolve completely into a xenophobic organization."

"It *is* already a xenophobic organization."

"Not necessarily so. You really shouldn't be judging a book by its covers. It will be a lot easier to give true xenophobes a vessel to channel their xenophobic tendencies - and keep them in check. That is what Terra Firma is."

"You mean, its xenophobic ranting are just a façade? Oh come on! You surely can concoct a better lie than that!"

"Partially, yes. Those so-called 'ranting' are actually a calculated ploy to draw as many xenophobes as possible, and control their mindsets, so to speak. Or would you rather they make their own terrorist organizations, like the Totenkopf, and unleash them against the galactic populace? That's a sure-fire way for humanity to get negative attention."

Again, Shepard had to pause for a moment to wrap his mind around the Cerberus leader's explanation. "Okay, I concede that point. How about Artyom Gavrikov?"

"He's an out-and-out war hawk. Should you shed some tears over him?"

Shepard mulled over that question for awhile. "No, I guess not. How about the assassination of Presidents Enrique Aguilar and Ying Xiong?"

"We did not assassinate them. Michael Lang did."

"Oh, come on! Didn't the relaxation of regulations by Belknap benefitted you greatly?"

"That was a fortunate side effect. But Michael did that out of his own volition. Had he not, wouldn't Cerberus' name be plastered all over the news channel, and also Alliance bulletins?"

Shepard again stood there silently.

"In any case, Shepard, thank you for assisting Ms. T'soni. With your help, Cerberus has ridden itself of one of its greatest enemy."

Shepard smirked. "I wouldn't be so sure of that, if I were you."

"You mean, in relation to Ms. T'soni's newly-acquired position as the Shadow Broker? I *do* have reasons to be sure, Shepard," The Illusive Man smirked back enigmatically. Making Shepard very suspicious.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I think it would suffice to say, that we and Ms. T'soni have... reached an agreement, so to speak," [3] The Illusive Man calmly replied, blowing a copious amount of smoke. "You know, Shepard, with your self-righteous indignation at what you found out in the Shadow Broker's database, I still wonder why you have no indignation of what was *not* written."

Shepard raised an eyebrow, "You've seen his intel?"

"Of course. Like I said, we and Ms. T'soni have reached an agreement."

"Okay, so what was not written, then?"

The Illusive Man again paused to take a drag. Letting the smoke out gradually as he spoke, "The Shadow Broker never wrote that we ever sabotaged any Eldfell-Ashland frigate to explode over densely-populated colonies. Strange, isn't it? Considering the extensive insider information that the Shadow Broker has gathered over the decade."

Shepard stood there, thunderstruck. He was about to reply when The Illusive Man continued.

"Oh yes, we did sabotage EAE once. Back in 2170, over Yandoa. That, I don't deny. But what about the rest of the 'accidents' over the prior 4 months? Makes you wonder, doesn't it?" [4]

Shepard shook his head. "That doesn't absolve you of the responsibility for the one you did."

The Illusive Man again took a drag. Releasing the smoke, his face changed to an embittered façade. "No, of course not. But why should Cerberus singly bear the blame of those series of 'accidents'? Why were the blame not shared among all the 'agencies' that the Alliance contracted that time?"

Again, Shepard was thunderstruck. "What? The Alliance?"

"After seeing the result of the BaAT first graduates, is it surprising for the Alliance to want more?"

Shepard didn't know what to say.

"Well if it's any consolation, Shepard, you shouldn't feel too bad about EAE. They're not exactly good guys, anyways," The Illusive Man remarked, crushing his cigarette on an ashtray.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh?" The Illusive Man looked surprised. "You don't know that they had petitioned for the Migrant Fleet to be banned from Citadel space?" [5]

"What!" Shepard went wide-eyed with unfeigned shock.

"Yes. It seemed that EAE had been embroiled in a dispute over some resources, and they blamed the quarians for attacking them."

"What! The quarians are not aggressive! There must be a mistake!"

"Maybe. Investigations are continuing as we speak. However, it was the EAE's conduct against the quarians that I strongly disprove of. Get up to date on your Cerberus News Daily, Shepard."

Shepard just nodded.

"I think that would be all for now, Shepard. Go get some rest. Oh, one more thing: Please don't be too harsh on Miranda when you see her file. She needs your support, not your condemnation. Cerberus Command out."

The Illusive Man's holoimage disappears, and the Comm Room was again bathed in light, leaving a very bewildered Shepard standing alone in the room.

The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear,
and the oldest and strongest kind of fear
is fear of the unknown.

~ H.P. LOVECRAFT

Footnotes:
[1] See Season 1 Episode 01 of my upcoming story, "Lazarus Cell: The Series"; Episodes 01 and 02 actually take place *before* the events in this chapter.
[2] New popes are elected from among the School of Cardinals
[3] See Chapter 15 of my story, "Last Rites"
[4] See entry for Cerberus in the Mass Effect Wiki.
[5] Cerberus Daily News (CDN), Nov. 28, 2010

Author's Note: And now, we're entering the hiatus for this story.

Yes, it appears the CDN headlines are just too diverse and inconsequential to build new chapters with, so I have to regretfully stop developing this story. At least until the next DLC comes out :) ... because of that, I won't mark this story as 'completed', for it is not ;)

A note of thanks to all you readers who have faithfully followed this story to this chapter. And also some XOXO for all you reviewers! You *truly* make writing this story worthwhile!

See you in my other stories!

Poll Results: 38% voted for "Julius". *Sigh*. I had voted for "Winston", actually, but Julius-voters beat my preference by 8%, so... Julius, it is :)

PS: You can read the introduction to my new story "Lazarus Cell: The Series" here: mcaf. ee/e1fab (just remove the space; the page has been verified safe/'green' by McAfee)