Unknown

I don't want to sound poetic, nor do I want to sound like a complete love sick idiot.

But I can't deny the feeling of his lips against mine…

Like velvet. Soft and comforting, but it hid a sinister soul stealing snake that slithered past my lips and made me moan from the erotic feeling. The whispers of sin and lust surrounded me and I wrapped my arms around this demon. My tongue twisted with his and my heart shuddered as he dominated my mouth and traced his tongue any place he could find. His tongue pressed itself against mine before disappearing for a moment.

My breath became rigid and my mind became mush. My heart fluttered as I watched his piercing red eyes search mine. Heat cascaded all over my figure and I hid my embarrassment by instigating another wet kiss. His tongue found mine in an instant and it was another minute of hot passionate battle of dominance. In which I gave in to him almost immediately. His lips became desperate as he covered my mouth fully with his.

This was not like my dreams. This was real, and it was the real me who kissed this demon passionately. It was me who made this demon moan my name slightly against my own tongue. This was all me, here and now.

Demonic pleasuring hands searched my body and heat was left in its wake. Moans of pleasure escaped me as he trailed his lips south, kissing and licking everywhere on my neck. Almost as if he was searching a map, he found the exact spot on my neck that made me gasp and shutter in pleasure. His nips, kisses, and licks marked the spot. A mark was sure to be there tomorrow.

Hands trailed over my chest and hips, almost daring me to allow them further. His fingers trailed up and he pinched my nipples through me shirt. I moaned his name in ecstasy as he repeated the action over and over again. I cocked my head back as he trailed his tongue from the base of my collar bone, up over my Adams apple, and to the lobe of my left ear. He whispered sweet nothings and also of vulgar things that only made the lower part of my body twitch in pleasure and impatience. His movements became desperate and my clothes suddenly were discarded.

Somehow, I regret my next actions, but in the long run, it made me realize something important. All the pieces fell to place and though it cleared almost everything up, it left a huge hole where my heart should have been.

As my shirt was thrown and my pants were being pulled off, reason suddenly came back and I realized what was about to happen. I stopped his hands and pulled away from the sex demon. My body was in a frenzy and my mind was a bit foggy but I had enough reason to understand that I needed to stop before we went too far.

With strength I knew I would never have, he pushed me back against silk sheets. At the moment, I wanted to give in as he towered over me and attacked my naked chest. However, I proved persistent and I mumbled for him to stop. He growled and placed my hands above my head, leaving me perfectly defenseless.

He licked my ear and bit my lobe, causing me to shudder and moan. This was paradise, as well as a toxic drug. This had to be illegal…

He growled again in my ear as he thrust his hips into mine.

Oh god…

Flashes of white and red danced across my eyes and my body went rigid. He thrust his hips against mine again and I believe I faintly screamed. I couldn't let him win though. My body was begging but my mind knew we needed to stop.

This feeling was beyond reason. The feeling of pure ecstasy as he thrust against me again and again was out of this world. My body tingled and cried in pleasure with each thrust.

We had to stop though. This feeling was wonderful and I never wanted it to stop, but it was also wrong and illegal. We needed to stop.

"Se-Seba-Sebastian…gah! S-stop!"

He thrust his hips wildly against mine and growled his pleasure against my ear.

"No. Before he comes back. I need you."

I was confused and for a moment, his ministrations did not affect me at all. Before who comes back? There was no one but me and him. The maids would never think of coming into the room without permission. Did he mean…him?

"W-what are…y-you talking ab-about?" I gasped as hands and hips pressed against where none other then my own have touched before.

"I need you now. You're here, with me, at this moment. I don't want him to come back yet and ruin it. I love you, only you."

Tears welled in my eyes as I realized exactly who he was talking about. He loved the other Ciel, the real one. The one in my dreams…My heart snapped and it took all ounce of my will not to cry at that moment. He didn't love me. He loved the other Ciel. My doppelganger, or twin, or whatever he was. I was him and I stood in Sebastian's way of the real him.

The feelings of lust, love, and passion whisked away as if they were never present. Every ounce of pleasure I felt left and left me with the sense of dread. Tears threatened to spill but I swore I would not cry. Rage replaced love and pain replaced lust. Strength replaced passion and I used every ounce of it to push the vial man off me. I grabbed my discarded shirt and covered my body. Sebastian was quite surprised and looked at me with worry and confusion.

But he didn't care about me. He only had eyes for the other me. The one he wanted to make love to. The one he thought kissed him first. The one who felt love and passion for him in that moment.

Now, I only felt hate. Anger and pain fueled my will and I glared at the demon who crushed my heart with only a couple of words.

"Get out."

"Excuse me?" He fucking asked, also daring to touch me on the cheek. I slapped his hand away before our skin could come in contact.

"Thank you for clearing everything up. You may go now. Get the fuck out."

"My love, I'm confused. Did I-" I cut him off.

"Exactly, I'm not your love. I'm the one you didn't want. The one who ruined everything!"

Surprise and guilt swam through his eyes but his face remained passive. I wanted to claw at his face and burn his eyes out of his sockets.

"But…you kissed me…does that mean you remember?" I wanted to scream. The fucker didn't even apologize!

"Get out!"

He raised a slight brow and chuckled darkly. This behavior would have been normal if I was the other me, but it just irritates me.

"If you remember, then I'm sure you realize you don't control me anymore." I snapped. I couldn't take it anymore. I was confused, hurt, and depressed. I didn't understand what he meant by remembered but I didn't want to hear him. I was hurt and in pain. I just didn't want to see or hear him at the moment.

"I don't remember anything you shit head! I don't remember! But I know enough, so just get out! Get the fuck out!"

This time, the fucker reigned surprise very well. "Then…you heard."

"Get out."

"Ciel, I'm-"

"GET OUT!"

Silence reigned and my ears buzzed lightly from the after shock of my yell. He sat there, a pained expression played on his face and for a second, I felt guilty. I realized how stupid that was. This man did not love me. He felt nothing for me. He wanted…him.

"Go…"

Tears began to fall no matter how mush I willed them away. He sat there for a moment before standing up silently and walking away. The doors clicked behind him and I let everything go. All the frustration, all the sadness, everything. I let everything go. All emotions burst forth in tears and screams as I buried my face in my pillow. How I wanted everything to disappear. My feelings, my problems, and most importantly, a certain someone.

I wanted Sebastian to disappear.

I spent the remaining hours of my night screaming and crying in my pillow.

Stupid Sebastian. I hate him…

SXC

Unknown

I made a huge mistake. My feelings and desires clouded my judgment. The moment his lips touched mind, all my restraints snapped. I could only guess his past self resurfaced and kissed me. It was the most logical explanation for his actions, seeing as the present Ciel didn't enjoy my company that much.

Then I thought he somehow remembered everything. That was foolish. If he remembered, he would have told me, teased me, or something! Anything for me to understand he remembered and wanted to continue where we had left off.

He knew things though. He might not remember everything, but what he said that one night, he knew some things. In his dreams, I was with him, but he obviously does not believe it was him in his past life. Maybe he didn't think it was him at all.

Everything was too new for me. I've never had to deal with past lives and reincarnations of people. Once I gain a soul, I eat every last speck of it. But this was different, because he was my mate. Demons either are born with destined mates, or they create ones. Ciel was, and forever will be, my destined mate. Simply he being human changed everything that was meant to be normal.

With that being said, I never had anyone but Ciel given a chance of reincarnation. I took the souls greedily and never once have I let a piece of them go. This was a new experience for me as much as it must be confusing for Ciel.

With a sigh, I rest my body onto my bed and laid my head against the soft pillow. The feel of his lips against mine was still fresh in my mind and my body still tingled. My lower regions twitched which made me very uncomfortable but I refused to put my hand anywhere near it. Not when my mate was crying in the upstairs master bedroom. Especially with me being the reason why…

I growled lowly as his tears continued all through the night. This was all my fault. An urge of guilt rushed through me and I ran my fingers through my hair. I hurt him so much. God dammed all to hell!

SXC

5:30 am

I cursed my luck as I tried to hide the obvious large red spot on the side of my neck. I flipped the collar of my shirt as high as possible only for it to show anyways. I cursed loudly from inside the room before placing a band-aid on it. At least I could blame it on an accident or something. I'd pretend it was a scratch of something…

With a tired sigh, I walked briskly out of my room and down the stairs.

"Sir, would you like to eat with your guardian?" A maid asked as I descended the stairs. I took my cane away from her and walked the way to the garage.

"That won't be necessary. I'll be leaving now. I'll grab some breakfast from a fast food place on the way there."

"But sir, do you think that's healthy for you?"

Something greasy, full of sugar, and horribly unhealthy sounded so delicious at the moment. As well as chocolate…I should order some éclairs…

"I'm aware but one splurge here and there is not a problem. Thank you for your concern. Good bye."

I walked out to the garage and was greeted by my family driver. The car door was open and waiting as usual. "Straight to school sir?"

"A trip to Mc. Donald first if you can?"

"Of course."

I didn't see Sebastian all throughout the day. I made sure everything we normally did together was not needed. I ate my breakfast and dinner in my room as well as all activities in my room. I did not want to see him, hear him, or even smell him. I hated him.

SXC

Since that night, I made sure to keep myself busy at the office. I only made sure to go home before the early workers came and noticed me still here. It would do no good for people to notice my lack of 'needed' sleep. It was moments like this I was glad I was a demon. There would be no need to force myself to sleep.

I made sure to spend as much time away from the house as I could. I didn't want to see the hate in his eyes and the pain he felt in his heart. I also knew he did not want to see me. From what the maids told me, he ate his meals in his room and never came out unless needed.

What I said could never be taken back. The words I spoke hurt him more then anything that has ever happened to him. Past and present life combined…well I'm sure the death of his parents is pretty hard but to be discarded by your mate…he might not realize I am his mate but the feeling is all the same. The pain I saw in his eyes broke my dead unbeating heart.

I truly felt guilty. That's hard for a demon like me to admit but this was my mate. I could never lie to or for him. I wish for more then anything that he'd at least let me speak to him. Or that he could remember and forgive so we could finally be together again. How I wish I could hold him in my arms again. I was so stupid and I ruined everything.

SXC

8:10 pm, Wednesday

A month has gone by and not once have I seen hide nor hair of that heart wrenching bastard. I have to say I'm quite proud of myself. We live together, but not once have we crossed paths. Of course, him staying late at the office helps but…never mind!

I still feel horrible, and my heart throbs every time I think about that night. Though the pain I felt finally numbed over and I no longer feel anything. It's kind of scary, but its pleasing to know it doesn't affect as much as it did a month ago.

The only sound in the room was the soft scratch of pencil on paper and the soft breeze of the cool evening air. Every bite of my delicious éclair warmed me from the inside and for a moment I forgot all my problems.

Until someone had to show up…

"You know, you won't be able to resist him for much longer. He's a demon, they have their ways."

I did not fall off my chair and on my butt so get that image out of your head. I was just a little surprised. I haven't seen my mirror image hallucination in awhile so it's a little surprising.

"What the hell do you want now?" He chuckled darkly and leaned himself against my bed.

"Oh nothing really. Just wanted to congratulate you on your heated moment. Also wanted to give you a little advice."

I turned my back on him. "Get lost. Last time I listened to your advice I got hurt. I'm not going to listen to you for awhile."

His response surprised me. "Why? What happened?"

"What do you mean what happened? You were obviously there at my 'heated moment'. You should know exactly what happened. It was about YOU."

"I was being a memory repressor through most of it. I couldn't release all of them just yet. It would have ruined the moment."

I turned around confused. What he and Sebastian say throws me in a loop. "Memories? What memories?"

He scoffs, "Ours of course."

I shook my head. I was too tired too deal with his riddles. I gave up this time. I'd think about it later because now, I just wanted a long hot shower and a goods nights rest. I think we are going to have a quiz tomorrow…though I couldn't doubt the itch of curiosity.

I grabbed my night clothes and headed for the shower. My mirror image followed and nagged at me for details on that horrid night. The thought of that night made me blush from embarrassment to rage soon after. I still want to gorge his eyes out and beat his face into a wall. I know I should get over it and move on but it's hard. The thought of what he did hurts me over and over again.

As I laid myself down to sleep, I realized my image was still here with me, but surprisingly, he was actually quiet. He laid on the bed with me and draped his arm over my waist. My back was to him and his chest pressed itself against me. His breath tingled the back of my neck and I shuddered. For a moment, I felt safe. I felt as if it was Sebastian who held me from behind. But of course, it was not…

"Goodnight dear Ciel." My image mumbled before slowly disappearing, taking his warmth with him.

"Great," I mumbled as I too fell to oblivion, "I'm seriously going crazy."

SXC

11:05 pm, Wednesday

"Ah, Sebas-kun~! It's so late and I'm sooooo tired~!" The Undertaker whined as he draped himself over the couch in my office.

"I'm happy for you Undertaker, but there is a problem," I paused, "I think Ciel is remembering…"

He moaned with his face stuck in a pillow. He mumbled: "That isn't good? Maybe everything, especially you Mr. Sebas-kun, will go back to normal."

I resist rolling my eyes. "Don't be foolish. You know how involved the Queen is now. I don't even know if his family is involved in those things still."

"Sebas-kun! You of all people should know Phantomhive is still involved as much as it was the last time you served them. Come now, think!"

"That is the problem," I sighed and ran my finger through my hair. "Ciel is constantly on my mind. I fail to think when his is constantly in my head."

"Oh? Is it because he's remembering? Think he'll hate you?"

"He already hates me, but not fully for that reason…"

Now I had his full attention. He stood from the couch and sat on top of my paper littered desk.

"Did you say something that gave him the wrong idea Sebas-kun?"

How he nailed that nail in the coffin.

"In a way, yes." He chuckled and twirled his long sleeves.

"Well, what did you say to poor Ciel-kun?"

"I'll have to start from the beginning…"

"I have all~ night!" He cheered

"Alright…" With a sigh, I began my tale.

I explained what has happened from the moment I first met the present Ciel to that one guilty night. I explained why I said those things and why I felt so guilty now. I also told him what Ciel does now and why I stay here most of the day. It was easy telling him, and I felt something soft of lift from my shoulders.

At the end of my tale, the Undertaker was deathly silent for a minute and stopped twirling his sleeves. I feared for his reaction, yet I was also curious.

Finally, after five minutes, he spoke: "Sebas-kun, you really fucked things up~!"

SXC