My first GaaNaru, at a whopping 2,500 words! How proud I am, though I know this is a mite too long for a drabble. Ah, Aoi-chan, my muse, you're such a tease…

Anyway! I would just like to thank both ednama and Talentless Freak (I'm sure you're not) for being my first reviewers for Salacious, and the sites iperyys(dot)net and the gaanaru lj community for fueling my newly-kindled fire for demon love!

Disclaimer: Naruto and his pals (and sleeping buddies) are Not Mine...wow, that's kinda painful to admit, huh?

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-*There's No Safe Place*-

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Naruto felt his patience evaporating with every dreadful step.

This had to be the worst mission EVER.

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It was another beautiful day in Fire Country. There was a slight breeze from the west, bringing with it the cool promise of rain, but for now the sun was just beginning to climb a cloudless, azure sky.

"Tentacled alien bastard!"

There is a school that has gone down in Fire Country history as the best place to send high-born young females. Owned by a well-renowned Madam, the Silver Pearl Finishing School for Genteel Ladies teaches the social graces as befitting a noble's daughter, such as proper etiquette and good manners. It is a large sprawling building, taking up most of the school grounds and towering over the small residential district it is situated near.

"Spineless cretin!"

As well-bred individuals, the students of Silver Pearl strive to be responsible in all things. Arriving thirty minutes before first bell is an acceptable example. It is not too late and not too early. It means arriving unruffled, unhurried and in no way dampened by perspiration.

"Disgusting!"

However, in such a prestigious place where innocence presents such a tempting target, there are always those who desire to press their suit in an uncouth manner. A perfect specimen of Silver Pearl would have no other course but to deflect and decline with grace and poise.

Apparently, Matsumoto Aoi hadn't gotten that far in her studies.

"Suck on this, octopus-head!"

There was a crowd gathering near the school gates, forming a wide berth around a very energetic Genteel Lady, a dust mask firmly on her face, who was dealing with a group of over-enthusiastic courters. A little off to the side stood two other students, who side-stepped neatly as yet another form zipped past them at an impossibly dangerous speed. There came, after a long while, a resounding clang that signaled the conclusion of its flight.

"Who touched me? Why you - "

"Ah, she's got such spirit in the morning, ne Hana-chan?"

Yamanaka Ino, codenamed Oota Hanabi, let her glossed lips twitch up in a smirk. She watched as another suitor was flung above the treetops, her smile growing. If she hadn't known that her fellow 'student' wasn't using full power, she would be worried at all the bodies flying around.

"There seems to be more of them today, Rei-sempai." She said, looking up at the long-haired brunette beside her.

Fujisaki Reiko, also known as Tenten, laughed daintily behind her hand, an action befitting a student of Silver Pearl. She wore a pair of non-prescription glasses which she pushed up yet again before adjusting her bag strap. "Boys never learn, do they?"

"Scum-sucking pervert! Take that!"

"Nope, they sure don't."

"-and that, and that, godsdamn-"

"So hopeless. What time is it?"

Ino checked her watch, a nondescript little thing she had picked up from a pawnshop the day after their arrival in the city. Perhaps she would give it to the real Hanabi when they got back home. "Fifteen minutes before first period, sempai. You have it with you?"

Her superior nodded and pulled out a thermos. "We'd better hurry. It takes three minutes after all."

A little bit of bustle, and soon their secret weapon was ready.

"And now," Ino grinned, drawing out a green fan from her back pocket. "Here's the final touch."

In Tenten's hands was a disposable bowl of Supreme Prawn ramen, 'Aoi-chan's' current favorite. With a flick of her wrist, the trapped steam came roiling out of the open lid. Narrowed blue eyes measured the distance between them and their target and, with a stance worthy of a fighter going into battle, she let the fan do the rest.

"-pirate of virgin flesh, huh? I'll teach you t- eh?"

A drop-kick and a trailing scream later, the formerly vengeful aura had melted away, leaving in its wake a rather docile, cute-looking blond immersed in the heaven that instant ramen could offer. Ino couldn't help but be surprised in spite of herself. The girl's movements had been instantaneous. Sharing a smile over her head, they ushered their younger companion through the glass doors just as the bell rang.

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"Uwaaaa! Aoi-chan looks more and more beautiful every day!"

"Her skin is so soft! What lotion do you use?"

"Look at her eyes! Aren't they just the most gorgeous blue you've ever seen?"

"Aoi-chan, you're so cute!"

"Aoi-chan, show us your smile!"

"Now, now ladies," 'Reiko' said, her hands raised in a calming manner. She looked like she was enjoying herself. "Let's not frighten her, hmm?"

Ino snickered at the sight of yet another crowd. They seemed to be becoming a common occurrence ever since they had arrived, just like the congregation of fanboys this morning. The only difference was that there were no flying bodies. 'Aoi-chan' seemed genuinely frightened of girls. Even now, she crouched behind the taller figure of her 'sempai'. They hadn't anticipated such interest in their little 'kouhai', but it worked as an excellent diversion. Besides, it wasn't hard to see why.

The petite blond frankly looked like a living doll. Her usually unruly blond hair, now tamed by gel and brightly colored hairpins, was a testament to Tenten's efficient hair-dressing skills. Ino herself had taken care of the androgynously formed face, applying just enough makeup to make the jeweled blue eyes irresistible and sewing up the masks that would hide the one thing no amount of foundation would ever cover. The silver lined, dark-blue jacket and pleated blue checkered skirt they had been issued offset the leanly muscular form and completed the transformation. The only thing they hadn't managed to get rid of were the heavy-soled army boots that should have clashed horribly against the delicate picture they were trying to create.

'Aoi-chan' made it work though. 'Hanabi' smiled in greeting as the other two finally managed to make it through the throng. Absently, she noted that their smaller 'classmate' had chosen to wear the dark blue mask with the tiny pink heart on the lower right side. It looked adorable.

"Hi, Hanabi-san," came the soft, low greeting. She smiled again and patted 'Aoi's' shoulder.

"They lasted longer this morning," she teased. "Maybe you'll need to up your techniques soon."

The girl shot her a heated glare but said nothing, concentrating on her tray instead. It was one of the things they had to be constantly weary of. Just one look at the tell-tale marks and their cover would be blown. 'Aoi' had had no choice but to ask for Kakashi's help on this particular problem. The former ANBU had been found two days later, hogtied to within an inch of his life and laughing his head off.

"Ah, Rei-sempai! When is your father coming home again?"

'Father' was the codename for their mark. He was the technological science professor at Silver Pearl, a former intelligence officer who was now suspected of leaking military codes and strategies to a well-known black market dealer. The client that had hired them had gotten a tip about his activities, and now they were looking for proof. Unfortunately, a few days after they had joined the school, their mark had been unexpectedly sent to an international conference. Just to be on the safe side, Neji and his team were keeping an eye on him in the guise of an economics professor and his two teaching aides. To 'Aoi's' displeasure, it meant that they would have to stay longer than they had originally planned, in the same disguises, in the same school. It would have raised a few eyebrows if three new students decided to stop attending class and then magically reappeared just as the professor came back to town.

Ten-tan, whose homeroom was closest to the records room, took a bite of her jelly. "Next Tuesday. Why?"

There was a small, muffled groan that both girls ignored. So they were stuck here until then. Ino didn't mind. It was better entertainment than she would get at home. "Mother called to check up. She wants you to bring him over for dinner sometime."

The brown-eyed brunette nodded. Tsunade was telling them to bring him in for interrogation. Someone somewhere must have unearthed information about his dealings.

"Should I buy anything?" Will they be needing more proof?

"Apple pie maybe? Mother does love it." All that we can get from the office and his house.

"Alright then. Aoi-chan, eat your vegetables."

There was another muffled groan as Naruto turned back to his tray.

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Naruto sighed deeply, a bone-weary feeling settling on him. Thank gods, their last class was over. He had never thought that he would ever be going back to school after the Academy. Now here he was, stuck for one more week with books and teachers and homework, and to make it worse…

"Aoi-chan, are you tired?"

"Do you want some medicine?"

"Would you like me to carry your books for you?"

The blond stood up, silently cursing his small frame and slim figure. Delicate hands smoothed out the too-short skirt before he turned his face to the worried cluster of classmates surrounding his desks. His smile was hidden behind the mask, but his eyes turned up cheerfully at the corners as he clutched his books to his chest.

"Please don't trouble yourselves." He said in his politest voice. "There's no need to worry about me."

"You're too cute, Aoi-chan!"

"It won't be any trouble at all!"

If he sighed again, the whole cycle would just start from the beginning. There was nothing else to do except get out of the classroom and into the courtyard where, hopefully, Ino and Tenten would be waiting. Though he blamed them for this particular indignity, he knew deep inside that it was the only way they could have infiltrated the school. It wasn't as if he looked old enough to be a teacher or something.

"Aoi-chan! The heavens must be smiling over me today!"

"Suzuharu," he growled through gritted teeth. Not now, when the outside world was so close! Damn this insufferable boy…

Loaded down as he was with textbooks, he couldn't move fast enough to avoid the besotted idiot that had proclaimed undying love ever since he had put on this accursed uniform. He was held uncomfortably in a sweaty grip, twisting his face away from the eyes that were shining glutinously and the lips that were coming ever closer.

"Let go of me before I break off your arm and shove it up your ass, Suzuharu!"

To Naruto's horrified gaze, the lips suddenly took on the form of grotesquely wart-crusted monstrosities. "Just one kiss, Aoi-chan! I'll do anything for that!"

"Would you go to hell for it?"

There suddenly seemed to be more air. It was like he was flying. A split second later, he realized two things. One, there was a pile of gurgling something-or-other lying a few feet away. Two, he was still being held. He started struggling immediately.

"That's it, I've had it with this bullshit! Let go of me this instant so I can beat you up!"

"Such a mouth you have. Do you use it for other things…Aoi-chan?"

"Wha-?"

There was something eerily familiar about that voice. Naruto craned his head back as far as he could, not realizing that such movement caused his jacket and shirt to ride up, exposing creamy, pale skin to everyone watching.

"If you keep moving like that, I shall have to punish you."

"What the fuck?"

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Ino and Tenten had been waiting for Naruto at the gate, keeping an cautious eye on the road and rooftops. Both their heads turned when there was a commotion near the side doors of the school. From this distance, they could see a struggling 'Aoi-chan' with one of her fans and, realizing that 'she' had no alternative choice, had stepped forward to help her.

Only to be stopped in their tracks as something happened that resulted in the fanboy lying in a crumpled heap and Naruto being caged in another man's arms. They sped up, their minds suddenly on fire. This man was an unknown variable, an unfamiliar face in the middle of their operation and he had Naruto.

Who he was now kissing.

Very, very passionately.

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"L-let go of me, you -"

"You know you like it."

Naruto tried pushing at the hard chest again but felt his bones melt at the kiss brushed over his neck. "Stop it…"

"That's not an option when you look so irresistible in that skirt."

Moaning wasn't an option either, at least not here. "G-gaara…"

Half-lidded green eyes looked at him possessively and he felt a chill down his spine. "You're mine, you know." The redhead said conversationally.

"Shut up."

"No. They should know who you belong to."

The blond looked up again. Was he jealous?

Apparently he was. Gaara was glaring at every onlooker, his arms tight around his boyfriend's slim waist, and his hair blowing in the breeze like a blood-red banner.

Naruto grinned, then decided to risk it. "I agree." He said, lowering his mask just before he pressed his lips against the tanned, slightly chapped ones he had missed so much. "They should know I'm yours."

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Whack!

"Fucking stupid ass bastard pervert moron fucker!" yelled Naruto, raising another rolled-up newspaper to hit his boyfriend with.

"He's right, Gaara." Tenten said disapprovingly. "You could have endangered our mission."

The redhead, on his part, looked completely unrepentant. He kept his eyes on Naruto, who hadn't changed out of his uniform before cursing up a storm. The skirt lay lightly against the long, shapely thighs that were just begging for someone to lick them. The silver-grey cravat could be used for devilishly sinister things in the bedroom, and he intended to see that they were used to the fullest extent of their capacity. The mask, dark against the heavily-blushing cheeks, was also too cute to be discarded.

"Stop staring at me, you-you-!"

Gaara ignored the blond as he started to turn an unpleasant shade of purple, turning his attention to the other two girls instead. "You are in no danger of being discovered. Tsunade sent me to check up on you. My cover is as the substitute teacher for the technology class."

"Why'd she send you?" Ino scowled. "Why didn't she send Shikamaru or Chouji?"

"I look older, and I know more about the subject than even Shikamaru does." Gaara looked back at his boyfriend, slumped as he was over the table, his head in his arms. "Naruto, are you alright?"

"Shut up, you." came the tired reply.

One look from the green eyes had Tenten and Ino bowing out of the room at speed.

Naruto blinked lazily as a jacket was put over his shoulders and a heavy weight settled behind him. He was gathered into strong, safe arms, the scent of clean showers and nutmeg wrapping him in a comforting embrace. "Why did you come, Gaara?" he asked, breathing in that familiar smell. "I would have come home in a few days."

His face was tilted up, until he could see the small frown that was forming between his lover's almost invisible eyebrows. "Do I need an excuse to see you? There's no safe place to hide from me, Naruto. You should know that by now."

"I know, love." He brushed a gentle kiss against the parted mouth and, emboldened, did it again and again until they were on the floor, entangled in each other. "I know."

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-*The End*-

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Whoa, that was weird. I didn't spend as much time on the uniform as much as I'd have liked, but trust me, Aoi-chan looked as cute as a basket of kittens. As always, my story ran away with me which is why its kind of...misshapen. When I was writing, I was getting Panel Flashes. The only cure for this is more anime! Yosh!

It's four-thirty in the morning! And I can't sleep because I've got little Narutos and Gaaras running around in my brain!