A/N: Remember, I started this right after the HBP, so Fred is still alive (sniff). He'll probably stay alive in this story, which makes this an AU fic. I've got the next chapter written, but it needs major editing, so please be prepared to wait a sec for Chapter 4. Thank you so much for the sub/reviews!
Chapter 3: I Confess
Before Harry, Hermione and Ron could even make it to the kitchen, Mrs. Weasley had erupted into full fledged screams.
"GNOMES! LOOK AT THEM TEARING UP THE GARDEN! FRED AND GEORGE, YOU PROMISED TO GET RID OF THEM! ARTHUR, STOP THEM! THERE THEY ARE DESTROYING ALL THE WORK I'VE DONE FOR THE WEDDING—"
"Sneaky little buggers! I can't believe they dodged us!" exclaimed Fred.
"Come on, Fred, this is the perfect time to try out our latest invention, Smart Arse Potion for Poxes, Posers, and the Like!" George said. They threw open the back door and dashed outside, Mr. Weasley on their heels as Mrs. Weasley screamed after them, "Get them! There goes one! And another!"
Harry was trying hard not to laugh, but gave up when he saw everyone else doubled over.
"I shouldn't be laughing, seeing as how it is my wedding…but the way Mum looked…her face…"Bill wheezed as he wiped his eye.
Harry had turned to comment about all the excitement to Hermione and Ron, but saw that they were pressed closely together against the wall, snogging furiously. Embarrassed, he whipped around quickly and bumped hard into Ginny, who tripped over her mother's abandoned pocketbook. She fell to the ground with an, "Oof!"
"Ginny! I'm so sorry…Here you are," Harry said, feeling like a dolt. He grabbed her hands, which felt soft and warm in his already sweating ones, and helped her to her feet.
"Way to say hello, Harry," Ginny teased with a little smile. She stood up and brushed herself off.
"I'm so sorry, really—"
"Harry, it's okay—
"I really didn't see you there—"
"Harry! I know, I know. It was an accident. It's okay. I grew up in a house full of obnoxious boys. I've suffered worse things than tripping over my mum's purse," Ginny said. She leaned forward and gave him a quick, unexpected embrace.
"I'm happy to see you," she said. The hug was over as soon as it had begun, leaving Harry disappointed.
"I'm happy to see you, too," Harry said. He couldn't stop staring at her, even though he knew he should avert his eyes. She kept trying to look away, but seemed caught in his gaze. Finally she took a deep breath, then turned from him, heading towards the kitchen. Harry followed her, unable to help himself.
"Ginny—" Harry started, reaching for her hand. When Ginny looked into his eyes, he could see it, how hurt she was. It killed him inside. He wanted her to know he felt the same way. Hell, he just wanted to take her and run away from all this, the wedding, the search for Horcruxes, everything.
"Harry," she said, taking her hand back. "Don't make this harder for me."
"I just want to talk," he said.
"No, I don't think so. You've said all you needed to say, and I've accepted it," she said.
"But I want to explain!" he said desperately.
Ginny crossed her arms across her chest, and huffed some hair out of her eyes. "Do you think I'm still that girl who could barely look up from the floor when you came around? I'm not. I'm all grown up. And I know you, I know what you have to do against Voldemort. You said it yourself, it doesn't leave room for two, not until the whole thing's done. That could take years. Anything could happen, you could find someone new, I could find someone new. You might return and be completely changed. I've accepted that possibility, among others."
"If you go with another bloke, I'll go mad," Harry said, stepping closer to her.
"It's over, Harry. You said it yourself. We'll always be friends, but the truth is that you're going to be leaving soon and I might never see you again. So like you said, it's better this way. Let's just move on with our lives," Ginny said sadly.
Harry didn't know what to say. He knew she was tough, and knew that she might respond this way, by shutting him out and shutting him off. He was frustrated and a little angry that he couldn't communicate with her the way he wanted. "Fine," he said coldly, shoving his hands in his pockets. He could play the I don't care game as well. He was used to it; he'd been playing I don't care his whole life, practically. "Have it your way. It's over. We'll move on."
"It's my brother's wedding weekend, for Merlin's sake. Don't ruin it for me. I'll ignore you if I have to," Ginny said stubbornly, and pushed past him before he could say another word to her.
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At dinner, true to her word, Ginny tried her best to ignore Harry. She even tried to sit as far away from him as she could at the table, but Fred plopped down in the chair she had pulled out.
"Move, Fred! I was going to sit here!" she said angrily. "Mum, make him get up!"
"Ginny, what in heaven's name...just sit there, across from Harry. That's the only empty seat left, it's taken me long enough to get everyone to sit down. The food will get cold if we don't eat," Mrs. Weasley said, squeezing past a row of chairs as she charmed a tray of rolls and a bowl of gravy to the table.
Ginny did as she was told, her cheeks turning faintly pink.
She would not meet Harry's eye, and seemed barely able to eat. She moved the food around on her plate, making artwork out of the elaborately made chicken dish, mashed potatoes, and gravy.
Harry watched her intently, though she pretended not to notice him. His stubborn nature set in, and he decided he would force her to pay him attention. Under the table, he purposely brushed against Ginny's leg with his own. She jumped, almost knocking over her glass of water.
"What's with you?" Ron asked.
"I thought I saw something…outside the window—"
"Not more gnomes! I thought we'd got them all this time!" said Mrs. Weasley, whipping around in her seat to peer out the window.
"No, Mum. It was nothing," Ginny said. She looked quickly at Harry with a little scowl. Harry fought a grin, waited another minute, then made another move, this time cuddling her legs inside of his own under the table, and pressing together. She knew she was caught; if she jerked free, she would draw attention to them both, which would cause relentless torture from her brothers, which Harry knew she would not want. She had no choice but to keep her legs where they were under the table, in between Harry's legs, where no one could see. She set her mouth in a thin line, and did not look at Harry the rest of dinner.
As soon as Fred and George let out enormously loud belches, signifying dinner was over for them, Ginny jumped up from the table.
"I'll help with the dishes," she said, and grabbed her brother's plates, whipping out of sight before Harry thought of an excuse to be near her.
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Later on that evening, Harry came out of the bathroom, having taken a shower before bed, and casually walked into the room he and Ron were sharing, rubbing soap out of his ears with his towel. He was feeling relaxed after a terrific dinner and knowing that he would not be spending the night in a house that had no love for him. Whistling, he ran the towel over his hair once more, and stopped suddenly at the sight before him, frowning slightly at the strange, moving mound on Ron's bed. At first he thought it a ghoul, or ghost, as the shape was groaning and gasping and writhing underneath the sheets.
"Oi!" Harry called, reaching for his wand.
"Get out!" Ron's voice suddenly barked from under the sheets.
Shit, it hadn't been a ghoul after all! It had been his two best friends having an intimate moment!
"Oh, bloody hell, sorry–" Harry sputtered.
"OUT!" Ron nearly shouted. Harry backed out of the room quickly, thoroughly humiliated, pulling the door shut behind him.
Back in the hallway, he felt a wave of panic. He was practically naked in the hallway with nowhere to go. He couldn't go to Bill's room, who he really didn't know that well. He didn't want to go to the common room, because he might fall asleep and be humiliated in the morning with no clothes on, not to mention he could get his two best friends into trouble. Hermione was supposed to be staying in Ginny's room, that's what Mrs. Weasley had made quite clear several times before everyone retired for the evening. If he went to the twins' room, well, there was no telling how far they'd take trying to embarrass everyone—Ron, Hermione and Harry.
That left Ginny. Maybe he could go to her room. He was certain she would still be up.
Sucking in a deep breath, he crept down the hall to her room. With a pounding heart, he knocked softly on the door.
Ginny opened it a crack, but Harry ducked quickly into her room before anyone came in the hallway.
"Harry! Are you mad? You aren't supposed to—"
"Ron and Hermione are shagging. I walked in on them, I can't go back there, not now," he interrupted.
Ginny gasped, and then burst into laughter. "Oh, no, you must be scarred for life." She sighed, shaking her head. "At it again…I can't believe those two, they're like jackrabbits."
"Sorry, did you say again?"
"Oh, yes. Ron's been paying me a Galleon a day not to tell Mum."
Harry laughed now, shaking his head. His laughter came to almost an abrupt halt as Ginny turned, walking over to her bed to sit down. It hit him suddenly how sexy Ginny looked right now. She was wearing a tight white tank top and the smallest pair of gray shorts he'd ever seen; it was obvious she wore nothing underneath either articles of clothing. He zeroed in on all of her exposed, smooth looking skin. The sloping shoulders, the long thighs, the rounded backside as she'd walked to her bed. He gulped, trying not to stare at her clearly defined nipples pressed against the material of her shirt. He sat down on one of the chairs opposite her bed and put his towel on his lap, hoping to hide his sudden state of arousal.
"Well, Harry Potter, I suppose this is what you wanted, isn't it? To end up in my bedroom?" Ginny said with a smirk, crossing her legs.
"If that's what you're thinking, that I just want to shag you, you're wrong. I didn't have anywhere else to go." He looked down, and tapped his fingers nervously against the back of his leg. "Besides, I wouldn't know…I mean, I never…"
"You never what?"
"Never mind," Harry said, growing red. What the devil are you saying, you prat? That's right, just keep blowing it for yourself, tell her you're a virgin, she'll never want to wait for you now, he scolded himself.
"You haven't been with anyone? Is that it?" Ginny said, teasingly. Harry scowled.
"No, I haven't. I've been too busy trying to kill the wizard who has managed to take away almost everyone I care about," he snapped. She probably thought he was a big loser, she probably wanted to laugh at him, and throw him out of her room by the ears.
"Harry…"Ginny started, the smile gone from her face. "I didn't mean it like that. It's perfectly alright."
Harry said nothing. He really didn't know why he was here, why he had come to her room. Had he come hoping to do what Ron and Hermione were doing? Or had he come just to be near her, around her? They practically had an argument earlier, and things weren't going so great now. So far all he had succeeded in doing was embarrassing himself.
"You know what?" he said, standing up. "I think I'll go to the common room. I shouldn't be here."
"You don't have to go, I'm honestly sorry for what I said. I—"
"No, it's okay. I just shouldn't have come to your room to begin with. I'll go downstairs."
Ginny's blue eyes flashed with anger. "Go, then. That's all you want to do anyway, is play games with me." She marched over to her bedroom door and yanked it open. "The truth is, you don't know what the hell you want. You want me out of your life, but you say you'll go mad if I end up with someone else. You come to my room after you know everyone's asleep and now you're saying you shouldn't have come at all."
Harry got up from the chair and closed her door back. "Don't wake the whole house up, for Merlin's sake. And I'm not playing games with you. I just don't want you to get hurt. That's why I broke it off with you, can't you understand that–"
"Must you also treat me like a child? I can and will make decisions for myself! I don't need you doing what you think is best! It's ridiculous! You're right, you need to leave. Get out. Just get out of my room and leave me alone!"
They stood staring at each other, both breathing heavily. Yet neither was moving. Ginny's arms were once again folded across her chest, only she didn't look as angry as the words she had just spoken to him.
"Is that what you really want me to do?" Harry asked softly.
"Yes." Ginny held her chin up.
"Well…Ginny…" Harry said gently as he put his hands on her waist, "Would it be alright if I have a kiss goodnight?"
Ginny said nothing, only watched his hands on her body, then raised her eyes to his. She wasn't slapping him yet. He leaned down close…She hadn't made a move to hex him yet. He moved a bit closer, closing his eyes and finally pressed his lips against hers.
She whimpered slightly, not breaking the kiss. Everything was right in the world, in this moment. Unable to resist any longer, Harry slid his arms around her waist, pulling Ginny against him, kissing her harder. Ginny's arms wrapped around his neck, tongue touching his own. It was delicious, absolutely perfect. He had been waiting months to hold her close again.
He was inexperienced, to the point of being pathetic, but the chemistry between he and Ginny was right. His hands slid down to her backside, which he grabbed in both hands. She was very plump here, and he liked it. Too much. He wasn't able to control his natural impulses any longer, knowing that she could feel it, how hard he was right now. But Ginny didn't seem to mind, not with the way she was moving her body against him.
Ginny pulled him, never letting their lips part, towards her bed. There was a stuffed Hippogriff and some crumbled clothes on the top blanket, which she sent flying to the floor with a sweep of her arm. She fell back onto the soft mattress, yanking him down on top of her. He had no idea what to do, but Ginny wasn't leaving much time for him to wonder. It felt good to be so desired by someone as beautiful as she was. He closed his eyes against her mouth sucking his neck as tingles rushed down his spine. Ginny reached inside his robe, running her fingers over the smooth muscle of his chest, and he thanked God for all those years of Quidditch. He had something to offer her, even if it wasn't experience.
He stopped then, breathless. "Ginny…" he said.
"Yes?" she whispered.
"What are we doing?"
Ginny giggled. "What's it look like?"
"Are we really…I mean, I want to, of course, but…I've never done it before."
Ginny kissed him. "I don't care."
"But, haven't you?"
Ginny shook her head, frowning. "Why would you think that?"
Harry was surprised. "You mean, you're a virgin too?"
"What kind of girl do you think I am, Harry?" Ginny said, swatting him on the arm. She laughed playfully, quietly, and rolled away from him, wrapping one leg across his waist.
"I just assumed…you and Dean…"
"No. I mean, of course we messed around. He was my boyfriend. But I never went to bed with him."
Harry smiled, all the way to his soul. "I'm going to be a selfish arse and say that I'm so happy to hear that."
He leaned towards her again, kissing her slowly. It was only seconds before they were tangled up in each other's arms again.
"I love you," Ginny whispered in his ear.
Harry paused. Something in his heart beat strong, free, like a bird released from a cage. She loved him. He could not remember ever hearing those words before. It confused him; part of him wanted to pull away, shut down, and part of him wanted to open up, all the way. She was beautiful. She was smart. She was strong.
"Ginny…" he said softly. "How can you say that, knowing that I have to leave you? I haven't done anything to make you feel that way. I haven't–"
"It's not about that, Harry. It's about how you make me feel. How you've made me feel since the first time I saw you. I want you to know how I feel more than ever. I want you to know that if you come back–when you come back–I'll be here. Waiting. For you. Always waiting for you," Ginny whispered. Her eyes brimmed with tears she did not let fall.
It was enough convincing for him. "I love you, too," Harry said. He'd never dreamed he'd be saying these words to her, his best friend's little sister, yet here he was, and his words were true and so were hers. He loved her. She loved him in return.
"Let's not waste another second. We don't know what tomorrow will bring," Ginny whispered. She removed his glasses, setting them on the windowsill beside the bed.
"Ginny–"
"Now, that's enough, Harry Potter. Take me. Tonight. Give me something to think about when you're gone. Give me something to look forward to when you return," she whispered. Harry nodded. Hell, he was a teenage boy, and he was in love and if she was willing, then dammit, so was he. Ginny rolled on top of him, covering his mouth with hers. Her long hair tumbled down over both of them like a soft waterfall. She giggled as she tried to push it back.
"Leave it. I love your hair," Harry said to her. He ran his hands over her, his heart swelling with emotion. Ginny leaned away from him, and pulled her white shirt off. She changed it up, laying back down, pulling him on top of her, sliding a long leg up around his waist. As they kissed each other fervently, she clung to him, arching her back to press firmly against his body. She sucked at his lower lip as she ran her fingers underneath his robe, and finally pushed it off of him. He was totally naked, bare for her to see all of him, in her room, in her bed. They were about to go all the way. He had never imagined it going this well, this wonderfully. He wanted this experience with Ginny. He needed it.
"Ginny, I'm dying for you," he whispered.
"Live. For me," she told him.
"I promise," Harry said.
After, Harry would remember with clarity all the little things about that night: the stillness in the room, the smell of Ginny's soap on her sheets, the brightness of the moon and the stars.
The way Ginny's brows knit together when he first entered her.
The exhilarating feeling of coming inside of her.
The moment when he realized that if he ever lost her, he'd die.
It was unfair, he thought much later, how just when life gave you something good, something else came to take it away.