My Heart

From The Bottom Of My Heart

*Just a quick note - this chapter may contain difficult subject matter. If you find that you are triggered by infertility issues, tread carefully with this chapter. Also, there is a super lemony lemon (that I tried and somewhat failed to tone down) in the middle of this chapter. You'll see it coming a mile away but just wanted to point it out for those who aren't comfortable with mature themes.

They get married on a crisp Autumn afternoon, under a stunning cerulean sky. The leaves, preparing to fall, are a riot of color all around them. Only their closest friends and family attend their small, simple wedding. Inuyasha is anxious and happy and nervous all at once.

"Stop fidgeting," Miroku whispers with an easy authority.

"Don't think I won't hit you just because you're my best man."

Miroku just shakes his head. "I was nervous, too. Don't worry. It'll be fine."

Inuyasha's retort dies on his lips as the music changes. Miroku and Sango's adorable daughters begin to toddle down the aisle, wearing matching blushing pink tulle-and-lace gowns, throwing fat fistfuls of peony petals. The small audience is instantly charmed as they coo over the twins. Sango comes next, all smiles. Her gown is a deeper shade of pink than her daughters, and the simple cut flatters her shape.

Everyone falls silent the second Kagome appears.

All the breath rushes out of Inuyasha. He can't help it. Kagome is a vision in the champagne-colored wedding dress that was once her mothers. "Kagome-chan looks like a movie star," someone whispers in awe, and Inuyasha can't agree more.

The top of Kagome's dress is a delicate gossamer lace, with a high Chinese-style collar and short sleeves. The gown clings to her figure just enough to allow the imagination to run wild. Her long, dark tresses are tamed into an intricate braid and pinned into an elegant updo. The diamonds that wink from her ears, fingers, and wrists can not outshine her lovely face.

When she looks at the end of the aisle where he is waiting, her smile is radiant. Inuyasha feels hot tears build and slowly spill down his cheeks, but he honestly doesn't care who sees. As Souta Higurashi carefully escorts his big sister down the aisle, it doesn't matter, because there is not a dry eye to be found. Even Sesshomaru looks mildly effected as Rin sobs into his shoulder.

When they reach the end of the aisle, Kagome looks up lovingly at her brother. Being the taller of the two, Souta drops a kiss on the crown of her hair and hands her off to Inuyasha. The two men briefly make eye contact, perfect understanding passing between them.

Kagome's eyes are glassy with tears, but she's smiling so hard it looks like the apples of her cheeks could pop.

When it is time to exchange vows, Inuyasha has regained some of his equilibrium. He takes a deep breath and wishes he had written down what he wanted to say. Meeting Kagome's adoring gaze, the words come easily.

"I never used to believe in things like fate or true love or soulmates. I didn't believe in much of anything. And then I met Kagome Higurashi and she turned my entire world upside down." Gentle laughter floats on the breeze, and Inuyasha waits for the crowd to fall silent.

"Kagome, you make me believe in things; you make me feel things I never thought possible. You make me a better person. I was lucky to call you friend, and I'm luckier still to call you wife. And it doesn't make sense that you chose me, but I'm not going to question it anymore. I'm just going to be grateful and enjoy every second that I get with you. Today, I choose you. And I'd choose you any day, under any circumstance, and I will wake up every morning I get on this Earth and choose you all over again."

Kagome schools her emotions, gripping Inuyasha's hands tightly. Her voice shakes, but she pushes through.

"I read once that people, like all things in our universe, are made up of stardust. I don't know if that's true, but it always stuck with me. And then I met you, and it really started to make sense. Because sometimes I look at you and it's like a supernova igniting in my heart. This feeling is too big, too spectacular to be anything short of supernatural." Kagome pauses, taking a deep breath to quell the tide of emotion rising within her.

"This love feels brand new and at the same time, as old as the world. You're always saying how lucky you feel, but I think you forget that I'm the lucky one, too. And I know life won't always be easy, but I am so excited that we get to go forward together. When I'm with you, nothing feels impossible. And I'm so happy that after today, we never have to be apart. No matter what happens, my love for you is real and now. Love is its own energy, and energy can't be created or destroyed; it can just transform. Which means this love of ours has always existed and will always exist. We were just lucky enough to find it."

Inuyasha presses a lingering kiss to her mouth, prompting the pastor to whisper, "I didn't say you could kiss her yet."

Nervous laughter bubbles up in the almost-married couple, inviting the audience to laugh with them. The pastor winks and does his best to get through the ceremony quickly.

When Inuyasha slides the thin rose-gold band on Kagome's finger, he feels something deep inside of him exhale.

On the way to their honeymoon destination, Inuyasha reveals exactly how much is in his bank account. When Kagome finally picks her jaw up off the ground, she laughs until she cries.

"What do we even do with that?"

"I dunno.' I already paid off the mortgage for the shrine, Souta's tuition, Kohaku's medical bills, and some other stuff like that. Shako and Miya, and any future children Miroku and Sango have, are set. Our kids will be set. I want to buy us a decent house. After that, I don't know."

Kagome looks at him with tears in her eyes. "You are the sweetest man," she presses a kiss to his shoulder.

"But seriously, this is crazy money. This is like building schools and hospitals kind of money."

Inuyasha's ears perk up. "We could do that. Maybe a hospital in Kikyou's honor?" He's unsure how this idea will be received, but Kagome's smile is brilliant. "I love that idea."

"Wow, my mom won't have to clip coupons anymore."

"She'll probably still clip coupons."

Kagome laughs. "You're probably right."

Kagome throws out her birth control on their one-year anniversary. "We're not not trying." She says casually, but Inuyasha can hear the excitement in her voice.

Life keeps them busy. Inuyasha has grown the business for the garage and they're doing quite well. Inuyasha retained a lot of what he learned working with his elder brother and puts his knowledge to good use. Shippou's uncle retired comfortably, leaving his business to Inuyasha and Shippou.

Kagome gained clout, with her internship behind her, and her photos always sell well. Her contacts in New York have a hunger for pictures of traditional Japan. Her photos of the Shrine and Goshinboku tree sell particularly well. Kagome still travels to New York a few times a year.

Their attitude about not-not trying stays casual until their two-year anniversary. "Okay, so we're trying." Kagome laughs and shows him what's in her bag. There are several thick books and a pink and blue box. Inuyasha looks at the box with skepticism. "At home ovulation predictor kit?"

"Yep!"

"You know you don't really need this, right?"

Kagome snatches the box back. "What do you mean?"

"I can tell when you're…um, fertile."

Kagome puts her hands on her hips. "Excuse me?"

"Your scent changes," Inuyasha looks pointedly at the apex of her thighs. "Not to mention you feel different. And you're honestly plain hornier when you're in that part of your cycle."

Kagome doesn't believe him until she reads through her books and learns that a woman's cervical mucus and cervix position changes throughout her cycle. "No way!" Kagome yells from where she's reading in the bathtub.

Inuyasha leans against the door jamb and watches his wife shift the lavender-scented bubbles around. "I told you," he smirks.

"We're going to test this," she jokes. "Your nose versus the test strips."

"Bring it on. What do I get when I win?"

"Cocky, aren't you?"

Inuyasha just smirks.

It's all fun and games until their third anniversary and Kagome schedules an appointment with a fertility specialist. "Just to make sure everything is okay," Kagome assures. Inuyasha dreads it but subjects himself to several slightly humiliating tests because it's what Kagome wants.

All the tests come back fine.

"I don't understand." Kagome grips his hand under the table. "Why is this taking so long if everything is normal?"

The doctor adjusts her glasses and gives them a sad, resigned smile. "We see this sometimes with…" she hesitates, obviously wishing to be anywhere else.

"With?"

The doctor's gaze flicks guiltily to Inuyasha and he feels his heart plunge into his stomach. "With hanyou," Inuyasha says for her, his blood turning to ice in his veins.

"What?" Kagome looks back and forth between the doctor and her husband.

"Yes," the doctor says softly. "We see this phenomenon with hanyou. While youkai and humans can successfully mate and produce children, the resulting offspring are often unable to procreate."

Kagome looks worriedly at her husband, who has gone incredibly pale and silent. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Research is underway, but it's a new area of study. As of right now, there is nothing I can recommend."

Kagome tightens her grip on her husband's hand. "Thank you," Kagome dismisses the doctor.

The ride home is painfully silent. Kagome is digesting the information. Inuyasha spares a glance at her occasionally. His wife looks sad, resigned. It feels like his heart has turned to lead. He feels absolutely gutted. When they arrive home, Inuyasha lets Kagome into the house. "I'll be back in a few, okay?"

Kagome blinks, her clouded gaze clearing. "Where are you going?"

"I've got to run a quick errand. I'll be back soon." Inuyasha presses a quick kiss to her lips and darts away.

Kagome watches him leave in a dazed silence. She closes the door and looks around her house. Her house, which they chose together, and she loves dearly. They bought it because it was an equal distance from the Higurashi Shrine to Miroku and Sango's house. They bought it because there was room enough for a koi pond in the backyard. They bought it even though it was a little too large for just the two of them, thinking they would grow into it. Kagome remembers Inuyasha asking their realtor about school zones as she walks quietly to her bedroom. Her knees give out before she can quite make it to the bed. She curls up on the floor and lets herself fall apart.

Sesshomaru sits at the head of a grand dining room table. When he senses a storm of familiar youki, he sets his cup of hot tea down.

"Rin."

"Yes?" Rin looks up expectantly.

"Put the china away."

"Oh, sure. Why, may I ask?"

"Inuyasha will be here momentarily."

"Okay," Rin sets about her task, bustling into the kitchen just in time to avoid the hanyou crashing into the room.

Sesshomaru gathers his own youki, releasing enough to offer a buffer against the fireworks his brother is producing. The proud business tycoon raises his chin, sampling the air. His brother's scent is a vile mixture of anger, sorrow, and disgust.

"Did you know?" Inuyasha thunders.

Rin peaks around the corner, but one look at the scene in the dining room, and she marches straight back into the kitchen.

"Did I know what?" Sesshomaru asks evenly. He rises slowly from his chair.

"Did you know I can't have kids?" Inuyasha bares his teeth.

"Ah," Sesshomaru's hard yellow gaze softens just for a moment. "I had hoped you could."

The gentle proclamation takes Inuyasha out at the knees. He sinks to the floor, head cradled in his hands. Sesshomaru crosses the distance between them, resting a heavy hand on his brother's shoulder.

"I shouldn't be surprised, right?" Inuyasha's voice is raw. "Just nature's way of correcting itself." His dry chuckle is mirthless and makes the fine hairs at the back of Sesshomaru's neck stand.

Sesshomaru squeezes his shoulder once and stands. "Come."

Inuyasha looks up with dead eyes. "Where?"

"To the dojo. We shall spar."

Oddly enough, Inuyasha feels better after a few rounds with his brother. He's pleasantly exhausted, muscles sore, but the burn is nice. His mind is clearer.

The brothers sit in the middle of the dojo, drenched in sunlight, and sip water. "I can't believe I can't give her children."

Sesshomaru looks askance at his brother. "She didn't marry you for the sake of children."

"Marriage implies kids. She's the most caring person. She mothers everyone. And now she suddenly can't be one? I can't take that away from her."

"In light of this new information, I believe Kagome Higurashi would still choose to be your wife."

Inuyasha turns his head sharply, meeting his brother's level gaze.

"There are many paths one can take to be a parent."

Inuyasha hears the truth in Sesshomaru's words, but it does little to dull the pain in his heart.

It's twilight by the time he makes it back home. He finds Kagome curled up in bed, hair wet from a shower. She's wearing one of his sweaters. He curls up next to her, pressing close, breathing her in deeply. Her scent chases away the lingering turmoil in his mind. She rolls over, facing him. Her smile is sweet and sleepy. Inuyasha notices her eyes are pink from crying and he closes his eyes against the fresh wave of shame that hits him.

"I'm so sorry, honey."

Kagome presses a gentle kiss against his chin. "Sorry for what?"

He winds his fingers through her damp hair. "For leaving you to cry by yourself."

His wife slides her hands under his shirt to find warm skin. "It's okay. We both had a lot to process." She snuggles closer. "Where did you go?"

"To see Sesshomaru."

"Oh," Kagome says thoughtfully. "How was that?"

"We tore his dojo apart and then the bastard talked a lot of damn sense."

Kagome smiles. He can't see it, but he can hear the lilt in her voice.

"That sounds interesting." She presses her face into the side of his neck, leaving a trail of kisses that thaw the ice in his blood.

"Kagome," Inuyasha swallows hard. "Do you…want to stay with me?"

"Hmm?" She mumbles sleepily, confused by his question.

"Do you want to stay married?"

Kagome bolts up, turning wide, fearful eyes on her husband. "What did you just ask me?"

Inuyasha stays calm, laying where he is, keeping perfectly still. "I'm the problem in this equation. You could easily find someone else. You can get pregnant if that's what you want."

Kagome opens and closes her mouth, searching for words. Tears pool in her eyes. "I can't believe you just said that."

"Kagome, I'm serious."

"I'm serious!"

Inuyasha's ears flatten against his skull. It's the loudest he's ever heard Kagome yell. "I don't just want a baby, Inuyasha. I want to have your baby. Our baby. And if that's not possible…then, we'll figure something else out." Kagome faces away from him, hugging a pillow into her chest, and dissolves into sobs.

"Hey," Inuyasha pulls her towards him. She puts up the faintest struggle, before diving into his embrace. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just had to ask."

"Stupid," Kagome chokes out through her sobs.

"I won't ask again," he promises.

"You better not," she threatens as her sobs ebb into hiccups. "I love you," she whispers against his skin.

"I love you too."

"Please don't leave."

Her soft entreaty melts his heart. "If you don't want me to go, I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

The sun sinks down and they hold each other close. Kagome sits up, moving gracefully, until she is straddling her husband. She removes his borrowed sweater in one easy movement. Inuyasha's breath hitches as he takes in her bared curves, which have lost none of their allure over the last three years. If anything, he craves her now more than ever. His eyes drink her in slowly. The tumble of glossy dark hair, luminous eyes, slender shoulders, generous breasts, tapered waist flowing into hips that drive him wild. Her long legs are hidden by blankets, so Inuyasha runs his hands over them, enjoying the feel of silken skin.

Kagome's fingertips trace her husband's dear face. "I can't believe you thought I wanted out," she whispers.

Inuyasha smiles weakly. "Can you blame me?"

Her lips form a pout. "Yes." She leans forward, slanting her mouth across his in a languorous kiss. "It's you or no one."

Inuyasha sighs against her kiss, hands gliding up and down her back. He pushes himself up on his elbows so he can move the kiss down to her neck, chest, and breasts. He's learned his wife's body well. He presses gentle, open mouthed kisses to the underside of her breasts, to the valley between, and across her décolletage. He purposely avoids her overly sensitive nipples until she's making those noises in the back of her throat that he loves.

When he feels her blunt fingernails bite into his skin and she arches her back, he finally brushes his tongue across one peak. Her hips buckle and he smirks despite himself. He alternates kissing, biting, and suckling until her hips are rocking helplessly. Inuyasha considers making his wife come just from this contact, but after the day they've had, he decides against it. He sheds his clothing wordlessly and pivots so that Kagome falls on her back.

She barely has a moment to protest their switched positions, before he's filling her. Her legs immediately wrap around his hips, pulling him closer. His name is on her lips already. He presses close, nuzzles her neck for a moment, and then finds a rhythm. Kagome clings to him. His strokes are precise, powerful. He pushes her to the brink and then switches to a shorter, harder rhythm that brings pleasure to a different place.

Kagome knows this game. He will bring her to the edge, and draw back, as many times as it takes to make her scream his name. Each thwarted climax makes the next feel impossibly good. By the third or fourth pass, Kagome presses her heels into his back, trying to find her own rhythm against him.

Inuyasha smiles into her shoulder, stopping completely, pinning her to the mattress with his weight. Kagome whines her dismay and Inuyasha gently bites her earlobe, then quickly soothes the sting with his tongue. Her fingernails rub against his scalp. "Inuyasha," she says crossly.

"Yes?" He pants.

She kisses along the underside of his jaw. "Don't stop," she grumbles.

Obliging her request, he picks up his rhythm. Her words fade into groans. She clenches around him, almost tasting release when he changes his motions just enough to deny her. He feels her cry more than he hears it. "Inuyasha, please." Her voice is hoarse.

Smirking into her hair, Inuyasha changes his hold on her just slightly so that his pelvic bone presses against her. He snaps his hips, finding a not too slow, not too fast pace that soon has her arching her back. It's fortunate because her scent and breathy moans are becoming too much for him to bear. When he feels her muscles clench and the rush of wetness, it unravels him.

Kagome doesn't know how to describe the sound her husband makes when he finishes, but it's the sexiest sound she's ever heard. Not quite a moan, not quite her name. Whatever it is, it makes his teeth clench and his eyes close. Kagome knows she will never stop wanting to hear that sound.

They lay pressed together, the sweat cooling on their skin. Inuyasha can hear the beautiful sound of his wife's heartbeat. He lifts his head, taking in his partner's dark lashes fanned out against her cheek. Her skin starts to feel cold, so he maneuvers around until she's in his arms, bridal style.

"Where are we going?" Kagome murmurs.

"Shower."

Kagome almost protests, but the prospect of hot water sounds wonderful. "I already had a shower."

"Not with me."

Kagome giggles and the sound lightens his soul. "True."

Inuyasha is attentive and gentle in the shower, helping her cleanse every inch of skin. "Can I put conditioner in your hair?" Kagome asks.

"I don't get your fascination with my hair."

"Don't worry about it." Kagome gives him a pointed look. He sighs and lowers his head. "Fine."

Kagome takes great care to shampoo the silver-white locks and then gently message conditioner into the length. Her fingernails feel amazing against his scalp. "Water's getting cold," she leans into him.

The water feels fine, but he obliges his wife by turning the hot water up. "It's scalding." He rolls his eyes.

Kagome sighs. "It's perfect."

"You're perfect."

Kagome opens her eyes, surprised. Her beloved husband is not the flowery words type. He shows her he loves her in a hundred different ways, but such sentiments are rare from him. Butterflies fill her belly and a blush creeps across her cheeks, making her husband chuckle.

"Glad to know I can still make you blush."

They don't bring up the topic of children again for a long while. They don't bring it up until Sango announces her pregnancy. Inuyasha looks nervously at his wife, but her smile is radiant. "That's amazing, Sango-chan!"

Kagome seems genuinely happy for their friends.

When they get home late that evening and are crawling into bed, Kagome rests her head on her husband's chest. "I want a baby," she sighs wistfully.

Inuyasha goes still, golden eyes widening with panic.

Kagome smiles, lifting her head to meet his wild gaze. "How do you feel about adoption?"

The silver-haired man blinks slowly. "Adoption?" he echoes. "I don't know."

"Think about it." Kagome kisses his cheek and then delves under the covers.

Inuyasha does think about it. Almost obsessively. He goes back and forth mentally. He is reluctant but tells his wife to go ahead and get more information.

They attend a few classes. They fill out boatloads of paperwork. They meet with parents who have adopted. It just makes Inuyasha feel more confused. His reticence sticks around until they get a call one evening from the agency. Someone has selected their file. Kagome is ecstatic. She's so excited she can't eat or sleep.

"The mother is a young girl. She doesn't feel like she's able to care for a baby at this stage in her life, and she's afraid, I think. She wants a good life for her little one."

"What made her pick us?" Inuyasha asks, curious.

Kagome plants a loud, wet kiss on the side of his face. "You!"

"Me?" Inuyasha turns a perplexed look on his wife. "Why me?"

"You're hanyou." Kagome grins. "So is the baby."

Hanyou. The word reverberates in his mind. His childhood comes back to him in a flash, like a horrible slideshow. His breath catches. He knows in the marrow of his bones he doesn't want this baby to go through what he went through as a child. The child would need a protector, someone to guide them. He looks at Kagome, knowing she will be the best mother any child could hope for. He admits as much to his wife.

"Really? This is for real?" Tears gleam in Kagome's lovely eyes. "This is our baby?"

Inuyasha's smile is fragile and beautiful. "This is our baby," he affirms. Kagome launches herself into his arms.

Their daughter is born in early Autumn, close to their fourth wedding anniversary. Twenty-four hours after her birth, a nurse places an impossibly small bundle in Kagome's waiting arms. Her tiny face is sweet. Thick, dark lashes fan out across golden skin. Her hair is just as thick and dark.

Inuyasha stares down in wonder. "She's beautiful."

"I know. She's absolutely perfect." Kagome kisses her daughter's head reverently, tears coursing freely down her cheeks.

"No ears," Inuyasha points out, relieved, flicking his own appendages atop his head.

"I know. But I love her anyway." Kagome winks at her husband.

"What will her name be?" The nurse asks.

"Ai." Inuyasha answers.

Kagome looks up at her husband. "That's a wonderful name."

Days later, when the tiny girl opens her eyes, Kagome is delighted to find golden-orange eyes staring up at her. "Inuyasha!" She calls. Her husband flies into the nursery so fast he nearly breaks the door.

"Is something wrong?"

Kagome laughs. "No." She gestures to the bundle in her arms. "Look."

Inuyasha marvels over this new development the way he marveled over each finger and toe.

"She kind of looks like you," they say in unison. Their eyes meet and they dissolve into giggles like kindergartners. Ai mewls, displeased by the noise and demands lunch. Inuyasha tries to block out the sound by pressing his ears flat against his skull.

"I'll get her bottle."

Life with a newborn isn't exactly easy, but Kagome and Inuyasha cherish each moment. Miroku and Sango are there for advice. Kagome's family is always eager to step in and babysit, for any length of time, but Kagome is unwilling to be parted from her daughter for longer than an hour or two. She's only one-hundred-percent comfortable when she leaves the child with Inuyasha.

Around the time Ai is learning to walk, Kagome relaxes and starts to feel comfortable being away from her daughter for longer stretches of time. Surprisingly, Inuyasha's brother begins volunteering to babysit. Kagome has her misgivings, but Inuyasha seems fine with it.

"Trust me. The kid is safer with Sesshomaru than anyone."

Rin and Sesshomaru seem delighted to keep Ai, and they start an unofficial tradition of watching the little girl once a month.

"Have you noticed that Sesshomaru and Rin always seem to want to babysit on the night of the new moon?" Inuyasha complains as he puts on the freshly ironed clothes his wife set out for him.

Kagome, pauses, a thoughtful look crossing her face. "You're right. They do always seem to choose new moon nights."

The next month, the same offer comes again. Inuyasha pushes ebony hair away from his face, holding his cell phone to his ear with his shoulder as he stirs a big pot of ramen.

"I appreciate the offer, but Kagome isn't feeling well. Raincheck?"

"Sure," Rin's bright voice fills his ear. "I hope Kagome-chan feels better!"

"Thanks, Rin." Inuyasha turns the burner off and moves the pot to cool. "Hey, by the way…"

"Yes?"

"Is there a reason you and Sesshomaru only offer to babysit on new moon nights?"

"Oh, I never noticed," the girl sounds genuinely puzzled. "Sesshomaru's schedule has just been working out that way. Odd."

"Yeah, odd," Inuyasha mumbles, quickly getting off the phone. He can't drop the feeling his brother is up to something.

Inuyasha fixes two bowls of ramen, setting one before his daughter. "Don't tell mommy we had ramen for dinner, okay?"

The little girl grins, accepting her meal enthusiastically. "Okay, daddy."

Inuyasha ruffles her hair lovingly, wondering if his heart will ever stop exploding with joy when his baby smiles at him.

Inuyasha enjoys a quiet evening with his daughter. They watch a Disney movie. They play. They only break one lamp. Soon, Inuyasha is scooping her up for bath time and bedtime stories. By the time he gets the toddler settled, he's feeling quite tired himself.

His bedroom is dark, but Kagome offers him a soft greeting the moment he walks through the door. "Parenting when you're full human is hard," Inuyasha admits with a toothy grin.

"You don't say," Kagome mumbles. Inuyasha can't see it in the dark, but he can hear the eye-roll in her tone. He leans over her, pressing a hand to her forehead.

"Still no fever," he tells her as he quickly undresses and slides into bed.

"Well, that's good," Kagome sighs. "Now if I could just stop throwing up."

"If you're still feeling unwell tomorrow, I'm taking you to the doctor."

"Yes, sir," Kagome shoots him a half-hearted glare.

"At least we know you're well enough for sarcasm."

Inuyasha takes the next day off and Kagome spends most of the afternoon curled up on the couch. Ai spends most of the day slowly moving all her toys from her bedroom to the living room so she can keep a close eye on her mother. Inuyasha gives the little girl an affectionate smile as he picks her up. Deep bronze eyes stare trustingly into his.

"How would you like to visit grandma for a little while?"

The child perks up instantly but swings a guilty look to her mother's sleeping figure. It's clear she's worried about her mom and reluctant to leave her side even for a fun time with grandma.

"Daddy's going to take good care of momma, don't worry."

The little girl's bottom lip pokes out, but she nods her head. "Momma is sick?"

"A little. Nothing a doctor can't take of. Trust me, it's boring at the doctor's office. You would have much more fun baking cookies with granny."

Inuyasha watches her dense lashes flutter as she thinks it over. "Okay."

It takes longer than he'd like to get both of his girls ready and in the car, but before long they pull up next to the Higurashi shrine. Mrs. Higurashi and Souta are waiting at the base of the steps.

"Uncle Souta!" Ai squeals from her car seat.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite niece." Souta unbuckles the little girl who promptly leaps into the young man's arms.

"I didn't know you were home," Kagome says warmly from the passenger seat.

"I heard a certain pipsqueak was coming by and I decided to make a trip. Besides, I'm out of clean laundry."

Kagome rolls her eyes at the college student. "Typical."

"Don't worry about a thing," Mrs. Higurashi assures the couple. "I hope you feel better, darling."

"Me, too."

Inuyasha plays solitaire on his phone while Kagome gets her vital signs taken. They ask perfunctory questions and collect a urine sample. Kagome, pale and tired, leans against her husband. "Thank you," she whispers.

Putting his phone away, Inuyasha gives his wife a sideways glance. "For what?"

"For being here."

He presses a tender kiss to her temple. "Always," he says quietly.

A chipper knock against the door announces the doctor's arrival. The petite neko-youkai could almost pass for human, were it not for her ruby-red eyes.

"Well, I believe we've discovered why you're feeling under the weather."

"Oh, really?" Kagome leans forward.

"What's wrong with her?" Inuyasha frowns at the cheerful doctor.

"Absolutely nothing is wrong. You're pregnant – congratulations."

The doctor is unsure how to deal with the dead-silence that descends over the room. She clears her throat. "Would you like a moment to process the news?"

"Are you sure?" Kagome asks in a thin voice.

"Quite sure. False-positive pregnancy tests are exceedingly rare."

"Can we test again? Just to be sure? I just don't think it's possible." Kagome's hands clench in her lap. "We're infertile."

The doctor schools her features. "We can perform a blood test if you like."

Inuyasha watches as a nurse comes to collect a vial of blood from his wife. It feels like he's sitting at the bottom of the ocean, disconnected from everything around him.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome calls his name for the third time. He turns his head toward her. "Are you alright? You look like you're about to be sick."

"I'm fine," he assures her.

"Do you think…" Kagome tries to curb her growing excitement. "Do you think there's a chance it's true?"

"Maybe."

The doctor sweeps back in, a hopeful smile on her face. "You're HCG levels indicate pregnancy. You will need to follow up with your OBGYN to confirm with an ultrasound in a few weeks, but I think it's safe to say you're pregnant."

They thank the doctor and return to the car, in a daze.

"How is this possible?" Kagome whispers.

A text message chime dings and Inuyasha numbly wrangle his phone out of his pocket.

"Who is that?"

"Sesshomaru." Inuyasha scans the incoming text.

I hear Kagome is feeling ill. Is it safe to assume congratulations are in order?

Inuyasha stares down at his phone in dumb shock. How the fuck does he know? And in that moment, Inuyasha understands. It was a shot in the dark, which is why his brother tried to be subtle.

"That brilliant bastard," Inuyasha chuckles wryly.

"What do you mean?"

Inuyasha turns to his wife with a disbelieving smile. "I couldn't get you pregnant as hanyou. But on nights of the new moon..."

"You're fully human…"

Kagome sucks in a breath. "Oh my God! That's why your brother only wanted to babysit on new moon nights." They laugh together until the laughter turns to tears. Kagome sobs into her husband's shoulder.

"I don't believe it…" She sniffles, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her shirt.

"I can't wait to tell Ai she's going to be a big sister," Inuyasha says quietly, lacing his fingers with Kagome's.

It's snowing the day their son is born. To Inuyasha's surprise, the little boy looks stunningly like his late mother, Izayoi.

Kagome looks amused. "You must take after your mom, then."

Inuyasha watches his wife gently places the infant into the waiting arms of their daughter. The little girl's brow is creased with concentration as she places her hands where her mother showed her. "He's so tiny…" she whispers, eyes wide. She's looking down at the baby with pure adoration and maybe a little fear.

"I remember when you were that tiny," Kagome says as she smoothed her daughter's hair. She is tired but well and happy.

"No way!" Ai gasps.

"It's a good thing he has a big sister like you to watch out for him."

The little girl accepts her new responsibility with a solemn vow. She leans close to the baby's tiny shell-shaped ear.

"I'll always protect you."

Kagome's throat tightens with emotion. When she looks at her children, all she can see is her husband. She meets Inuyasha's gaze over Ai's head and holds it for a few moments. Her heart has never been fuller.

"I love you," she mouths.

"Love you, too," he whispers back.

She was always up before the sun.

With two children under the age of five, mornings are one of the few moments they have just for themselves.

With eyes still closed tight, Inuyasha reaches out, pulling her warm body close to his. She leans into his warmth, snuggling as close as she can.

"Not in the cards today," she giggles. "I think I hear the munchkins moving around."

Inuyasha groans, but it's all for show.

He loves mornings.

Motherhood has sharpened Kagome's hearing because sure enough, he can hear his kids trying to stealthily make their way down the hall. He and Kagome pretend to be asleep, and when two small, warm bodies cannonball into the bed, they make a good show of being surprised.

Laughing, Inuyasha wrangles the kids between Kagome and himself. Ai snuggles into her mother's side and Mitsuki curls into his big sister, deep violet eyes trained on his father. Kagome hides a smile in Ai's hair. Mitsuki's hero-worship of his father started early and grows by the day, outranked only by his adulation for his sister.

Looking down fondly at her children, Kagome takes a moment to let sheer gratitude flow through her. She is beyond thankful for her family, for this moment. Her fingers itch for her camera, but she's learning to live more in the moment and preserve them in memory, if not film.

While her children certainly have their trying moments, they are wonderful kids. Ai is intelligent and kind. She's incredibly self-contained and observant for a child not yet five. Inuyasha says it must be all the time she spends around her Uncle Sesshomaru, but Kagome knows Inuyasha doesn't give himself enough credit.

The little hanyou is getting to the age where she asks questions about her birth parents. She understands that her entrance into the family wasn't the same as Mitsuki's, but knows it is no less meaningful. Much to Inuyasha and Kagome's relief, the little girl has never doubted her place in the family. Ai thinks it's funny when people assume Mitsuki is the adopted one. The little girl already understands that things aren't always how they appear on the surface and that people aren't intentionally cruel, they're just often clueless.

Mitsuki is outgoing and uninhibited with endless imagination. He thrives best around people and has a bit of his father's temper. Inuyasha thinks the little boy will be an athlete, and maybe he will, but Kagome see's the way the little boy slips into daydreams. She notices him noticing things most people overlook; a feather drifting across the sidewalk, a cloud shaped like a rabbit, an unusual melody. He separates his crayons fussily from his sister's. He gets upset if Ai uses the wrong shade of blue for the sky when they color. Kagome is sure he will be an artist of some sort.

Kagome stretches her arm out to encompass both wiggling children. It's a privledge and a delight to watch them grow, to see their individual personalities emerge. She can't wait to see the adults they will become, but she's in no hurry. She knows they won't be small forever and tries to cherish all the little moments that make up their life.

Subdued by their mother's touch, they settle down. It's still early, and paired with a late bedtime, and the comforting sound of their parent's heartbeat surrounding them, they doze off.

"Just like that," Kagome whispers, taking in their little faces, innocent and slack with sleep.

"Must be nice," Inuyasha smiles.

Glancing at the clock, Kagome shrugs. "We're not meeting Sango and Miroku until later. No harm in sleeping in a little."

Inuyasha's gaze softens. "Sure."

They arrange themselves carefully, creating a small protective barrier with their bodies around the children. Kagome lays on her side and slips a hand under her pillow to touch the tips of her husband's fingers.

It isn't long before she's drifting, warm and secure with her little family all around her. Inuyasha fights the pull of sleep. He wants to stay up, to savor the moment. He didn't know this was what he wanted until he found it.

Kagome. A family. A place to belong; something to protect. Despite the wrong turns and the mistakes, he made along the way, Inuyasha can't imagine his life any other way.

He keeps guard over his little family while they sleep, his heart full and at peace. Gaze sweeping over each beloved face in turn, he repeats a daily vow.

I'm not perfect, but I'll always keep trying. I'll never stop showing up.

It's a little frightening for the jaded hanyou to feel so happy. After feeling so lost for so long, it's jarring to feel found. But, with Kagome's gentle reassurances, he's learning not to fight it. He's stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop and just takes each day at face value.

Watching his children snuggle up to each other, in the arms of their mother, he knows he's found something he can never lose.

He allows himself to relax, to enjoy the moment, and look forward to whatever comes next.

A/N:

Well, that only took me ten years to finish. LOL! Wow…

It's been a really cool ride. I'm so happy you decided to take it with me. I truly appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read this. And to everyone who has taken the time to say a few words – you don't know what it means to me.

From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!

Even though this story has a ton of errors (I should really get a beta reader lol), it just has this spirit to it that I really love. One day, if I have the time and the energy, I will go back and do a full-blown re-write/edit. Because I think the story deserves it. I don't know if or when that will happen, but it's definitely something I want to do.

As always, feel free to reach out and message me if you have questions or just feel like talking. Thanks again for staying with me.

Take care!