This is my first ever fan-fic *squeeee*
I hope someone out there likes it, even just a little bit, and reviews (good or bad) are very appreciated (:
This first chapter is a bit slow going, but please hang in there *I think* it gets better!

I always wake up crying. Even in the safety of the hospital I still get plagued with the nightmares. 21 years of age and this is what my life has turned into. Sighing I realise the dull agony has returned to my body, making me wish the nurses would give me some stronger pain medication, hell even a strong sleeping pill will do so I can have at least 4 hours sleep. I attempt to drag a hairbrush through my wayward brown curls and to take my mind off the fatigue and ache I decide to go for my daily walk around the ward.

"Dean, wait"

An unfamiliar voice a few doors away from mine makes me realise a new patient has been brought in (well, unless old Mrs Gorski's voice has turned deeper and decidedly more gravelly and masculine over the past day). I edged closer to the new guy's door.

"You said no to Michael. I owe you an apology"

Being the naturally inquisitive being that I am, I peeked around the doorway to get a glimpse of this new patient. He had dark hair, startlingly blue eyes and he was peppered with cuts and grazes. His attention seemed to be focused on his apparently important phone conversation. However what most attracted my curiosity was the air of defeat that surrounded him. Even from where I stood I could tell this man had been through hell and back lately.

"You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be."

I crept back so I was once again hidden from his sight around the doorway. I'm not normally the type to eavesdrop, but something about this man just seemed to reach out to me in a way I couldn't explain. I felt connected to him, I wanted to comfort him. I shook my head in disbelief. I didn't even know his name!

"What is your name, girl?"

I froze. He was definitely no longer on the phone. Was he referring to me? How did he even know I was here? Apart from the few nurses occasionally walking past, I was the only one near his room. He had to be talking to me.

"I know you have been listening to my conversation. Why is that?"

Ok, most definitely talking to me. I grimaced and slowly inched back into his room. He was staring directly at me, a gaze so intense I could not look away. It compelled me to answer him. "Eliana. My... my name's Eliana... I don't know why I... I eavesdropped, I'm sorry it's rude... I'll just go now..."He slightly tilted his head to one side as I intended to make a hasty retreat back to my room, but I only had time to turn around before he spoke again.

"I did not mean to scare you Eliana. My name is Castiel."

Without realising what I was doing, I walked further into his room. "Castiel? What kinda name is that?" I was never one to be shy about what I was thinking. A frown briefly shadowed his face as confusion clouded his expression. "It is my name." He once again tilted his head, in what I guess was a habit of his, "the Angel of Thursday."

I had reached an empty chair beside his bed, so I invited myself to sit. "Angel of Thursday? Dude, your parent's could've at least picked a more interesting day... what about the angel of Saturday or something?"

Once again he frowned at me. Apparently I was an extremely confusing creature to him, "Why would my Father give me a false name? I would not want Cassiel's name."

"Cassiel?"

"The Angel of Saturday."

I sighed. This Castiel guy was obviously very into religion. I decided to change the subject, "so what you in here for?" I very quickly learned from my stay here that most fellow patients thought they had the most interesting life story around and could happily talk about themselves to strangers for hours... well, except me of course. Completely lost in my own thoughts, I did not at first register that air of despair that had once returned to Castiel at my question. Obviously he, like me, did not wish to elaborate on how he got here. I was just about to change the subject to something more to Castiel's comfort when he finally answered me. "I helped out someone important. It changed me."

Now this was the most interesting (and at the same time frustrating) response I'd ever gotten to that question. I did not want to break the reverie Castiel was in, so I let him explain further on his own account. "I should be grateful for this abysmal shadow of my former self. It could have been a lot worse for me. However, I cannot help wishing that this situation had had a different ending." He suddenly let out a wry chuckle, the closest he had come to revealing what he was really feeling behind that blank face, "I have never fully realised what selfishness was until this moment. I wonder what other emotions I shall begin to experience from now on."

His words were unbelievably confusing to me, but somehow I understood what he meant. Selfish was something my dad often called me in one of his darker moods. I looked directly at Castiel and asked, my voice almost a whisper, "what happened to you?"

Castiel's gaze once again connected with my eyes, as if he only just remembered I was there. He seemed to sigh, and I knew he would not give away any more. He obviously thought enough had been said on the subject. "I think I need to move on... I do not want to dwell on the subject, and a friend once told me that when human's want something, they lie. So... nothing of import happened."