Title: If Not For You

By: Aina Song

Fandom(s): Yu Yu Hakusho/ Danny Phantom

Genre: Yaoi

Rating: NC-17

Warning(s): Language; Angst; Suffering; Death; Attempted NCS; Necrophilia (sort of… depending on how you look at it…)

Pairing(s): Surprise!

Reviews: Yes, please.

Author's Note: Standard Disclaimer. This story was not written for money.

Teaser: "Like a mural, life is pieced stroke by stroke with the light and dark elements living together… One is never found without the other." - Thomas Kinkade

Prologue - Aggrieved Sympathy

Botan invited herself unannounced into Koenma's office, her quick stride alerting the demigod straightaway that something was up. The ogre Jorge followed her, rambling an incoherent apology, but Koenma impatiently waved him out of his office. Botan strode straight up to his desk and then stood there with her hands on her hips.

Looked like he'd been found out again, he mused as he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning. Clearing his throat, he politely asked, "How might I help you, Botan?"

"You could start by explaining yourself," she fumed.

"Could you elaborate?"

Her pretty violet eyes narrowed dangerously, and she slapped both her hands upon the surface of his desk. "You know very well what I'm talking about! How dare you authorize something like this!"

"Because only I have the authority to do so?" Koenma wondered innocently.

"Oh!" She huffed. Fisting one of her hands, she lightly thumped it against the desktop. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't hand in my resignation for this."

"Because you proved a valuable assistant last time, thereby electing yourself a worthy candidate this time around. Because you're loyal to the project as a whole." Then he let a small smile break through, adding, "And because you love me."

A brief moment passed in silence, but then her temper melted almost instantly. "Oh, I hate it when you use that card against me…"

He gave her a truer smile this time, knowing that he had avoided the worst of her temper. "Sure you do. Now tell me. Am I really in the doghouse this time, or were you simply looking for a way to vent your concern?"

"A little of both, I suppose," she sighed, massaging the fingers of one hand across her brow. "I'm not as mad as I ought to be, and believe me I should be stringing you up by your unmentionables right now."

Koenma blanched. Botan was a woman who tolerated profane language but never spoke it herself. To know that he had pushed her so close to it with this…

"But," she added with a hesitant smile. "I have to admit that most of it was concern. I like this boy, Koenma; he reminds me so much of Yusuke. And I don't want to see him dragged through so much pain and torment the way Yusuke was."

"I apologized for that," Koenma calmly insisted. "Both to him and to you." Standing, he stepped around his desk and gently grabbed her arms above the elbows. "Botan, listen to me. I know you don't want to hear this. But this boy's already suffered greatly, without interference from the goings-on of spirit realm. He'd unwittingly received a crash course in the kind of training needed for this." He paused, but knew he might as well tell the rest of it. "And it was the only way to protect him."

She bit at her lower lip, ducking her chin low. "I know. He told me. But I still don't-"

"Excuse me," Jorge interrupted, peeking in through the office door. "Um, he's ready, sir."

"Very well," he nodded, putting a respectable distance between himself and the woman who shared his secret love. "Let him in."

The ogre ducked his head out again. Within seconds, the door opened wider to let in a quiet dark-haired youth who stepped wordlessly into the office with humble confidence. He wore only a loose pair of faded jeans, his feet were bare, and his right hand was pressed flat against his tightly bandaged torso.

"Are you all right?" Koenma asked, his brow creasing worriedly.

The boy shifted to the side of the door and leaned his back to the wall with a heavy sigh. Botan quickly crossed to his side. She lifted her fingers under his bangs, lightly sweeping them back from a forehead that had gone clammy with unshed perspiration. "Breathe," she whispered. "You can fight it…"

Icy blue eyes blinked open, and he tilted his head back against the wall to look at her. His mouth tugged in a weary smile. "I'm fine…"

Koenma reigned in his own concern, grabbing a file folder and coming to stand before the boy. "Have you severed all ties to your former life?"

"Yes, sir," the dark-haired youth sighed, nodding. "They'd just gotten done reporting my death on the news. And those who know better expect never to see me again."

Botan stared, "You faked your own death?"

"It was the only way," he answered as softly as before. He glimpsed her sorrowful expression and offered her another small smile. "It's fine. Really. I was going to have to do it eventually, anyway."

"The terms of your contract to me specifically forbid revealing yourself to your predecessor," Koenma gently reminded. "I would like to have introduced you to Yusuke someday, but as your time in his world will be limited I'd prefer avoiding all that red tape."

"I understand," the boy somberly agreed.

Koenma lifted the file folder in his hand, offering it forth. "The demon wards you'll need. There are also papers to confirm your temporary citizenship in Japan, transcripts transferring you to a new school from one that had very recently burned down in another part of the country-"

"What," the dark-haired youth interrupted, his icy blue eyes boldly demanding an explanation from the young lord.

"Nothing traumatizing," he assured. "There was a gas leak, and an overnight janitor thoughtlessly lit a cigarette. He survived, though he'll be hospitalized for a while. I won't deny that the incident was actually very convenient, however, as no one will immediately think to look into its history records for your presence there. So long as you don't draw too much attention to yourself."

The boy caught the irony in that last statement, a weak laugh shaking his frame. "I'll do my best, sir."

"Botan will provide you with assistance when needed. Any questions?"

"No, sir."

Botan touched a hand to the boy's arm. "Are you sure you want to do this? I don't like to think of such a nice boy putting himself at risk like this…"

"You're a little late for that," he muttered, his hand unconsciously rubbing at his chest. But then his mouth tugged in one more half-hearted smile, "Anyway, if I wasn't at risk so often, I think I'd die of boredom."

"Way to stay optimistic," Koenma empathized. "The good news is that things have calmed down quite a bit for now. You'll have at least a few months to get settled in at your new home and at your new school. Better to establish yourself amongst your classmates and your neighbors."

"Yes, sir."

"I don't know whether to congratulate you," Botan shook her head, "or to apologize upfront for anything we might end up putting you through."

"If you want," the white-haired youth generously offered, "I'll accept both."

She threw herself at him with a soft cry, taking the boy into her tight embrace. She buried her face into his shoulder, her tears wetting the cove of his neck, and he sighed, folding his free arm around her back. Koenma gently placed a hand to the boy's other shoulder, and his amber eyes held nothing but aggrieved sympathy.