Title: Sudden change of heart

Chapter: Now I can see Johnny

Author: sodapoplover

Warning: Guy/Guy

Pairing: Dallas & Tim

Book: The Outsider (I own nothing! All of these characters are property of S. E. Hinton)

Shoot.

I left Pony at the hospital. Oh well, like it matters. Darrel won't yell at me. He won't have the chance.

Finally I made it to the shop. I waited patiently. I knew the cashier was watching me very suspiciously. My heart beat was going fast... too fast… so fast I almost felt like my heart was going to budge out of my chest. Should I do it…? I got the heater. Should I? Well, why shouldn't I? Johnny's dead. I don't want to keep living if Johnny isn't here. Ponyboy…! Ponyboy won't need me. He has Sodapop. Yeah… Just do it. The man kept looking at me. As I walked around slowly looking at the magazines the man ask me if I was going to buy one. I coldly threw a glare at him and ripped one of the magazines. Ugh! I could feel the pain I had gotten from the rumble and it didn't make the pain in my heart feel any better. I slowly walked towards him, holding tightly onto the heater inside my pocket. All I had to do was scare him with the gun and tell him to put the money in the bag. He told me I had to pay for the magazine I ripped. That made me mad. I started to pull out my heater but then all of a sudden I heard the door bell. Someone came in? Now? Great.

I turned around and found out it was Tim. Tim Shepard, my friend yet enemy. "Son, you're gonna have to pay for that. Give me the money," the cashier said shakily. Money? I had no money. Tim got some beer cans and lined up behind me. I was shaking. Tim was here. I lost my chance. No, wait! Who said I couldn't do it while Tim is here. The better. Right? I began to pull out the unloaded heater. "Son?" Tim yanked my ear and said rudely, "you're holding up the line." "Give me the money, kid." Ugh! His voice was giving me a headache. That's it! I'll do it now! Right when I got the heater out my pocket cash landed in front of the counter. Tim pushed me out of the way and told the cashier he was going to pay for me. The man gave him the change for the beer cans and gave me a horrid stare. Shepard began to walk away and I kept held of the gun. "You got anything to do?" a rough voice asked. I turned around and there stood Tim. Was he talking to me? "Who? Me?" I stupidly asked. "Naw, the cashier," Tim joked, "yah you. Wanna hang? I need to go knock myself down at my house due to that insane rumble." No. I can't. I have to rob money and the police are supposed to come after me. I'm supposed to be getting shot by them… I'm supposed to be dying. Still hanging on the heater I said nothing. "Well?" Tim asked annoyed. I could hear the man whispering to god for me to go with Tim. Johnny… Johnny… "Johnny…" I whispered quietly. "What?" Tim asked, it was more of a command to repeat what I said but you know. My heart was beating faster and it wasn't because of the gun, it wasn't because I was about to rob someone just to die, and it wasn't because Johnny just died. It was because of Tim. I don't why but at that moment I looked him directly in the eyes. His eyes… something about his eyes lift one foot forward. "Yah, I'll go," I said happily. Almost too happily, which was really awkward of me. He walked out the door leaving me behind. As I reached the door, the bell ringed again. Ugh… I turned around to look at the cashier. He was looking at my gun but when he noticed I was looking at him he quickly looked down, so I put it back into my pocket.

I was a few steps behind Tim. While I was walking all I could think about was why is he so far up ahead of me? Was he mad at me? He didn't look back, not even when I made a fake cough, but it seemed pretty real to me. What did I do to make him mad? Well, I didn't say hi to him at the rumble, but that's a stupid excused. What the hell am I thinking? Tim could hardly give a damn. It was bothering me so much that he wasn't talking to me or even looking at me. It ticked me off at the fact that he might be angry at me. But why? The question why kept hitting my brain. I wanted to ask him but I couldn't. I didn't want to admit it but I wasn't brave enough to ask him. Why should it even bother me? Ha, if Tim's mad at me so what? That's not nothing different from the normal. But for some reason this time it was really ticking me off. I don't know why but I didn't want Tim mad at me. At least not now. I walked slower and slower. It was odd but I was beginning to feel upset. The walk seemed like an hour but really it was really only about twenty five minutes. We were only about sixteen feet away from Tim's house. I got a bad feeling in my stomach and when I got to the door I thought… so much for doing it for Johnny.

We were both sitting down on the couch, quietly. C'mon Dal, quit being a girl and just ask him why is he being a jerk! I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

"What?" Tim asked rudely. Right then and there I felt like punching him. You invite me to your house and then you just ignore me because you're mad at me for some reason that i don't even know 'bout. That does it!

"Hey!" I finally blurted out. "Why -" but he quickly interrupted me.

"'WHY' WHAT? You know what, let me ask the questions around here!" Tim yelled with anger.

I don't know why but I didn't feel to brave now. Not that I was scared but as if I had to listen to him. Almost as if I was his servant and I had done something wrong and he was angrily informing me of a mistake i had done. A big mistake.

"Why the hell were you about to rob that shop?" he screamed. How in the hell did he know I was... I wanted to say something back but couldn't. Alomst if I was scared. Again, not scared of Tim but at the fact that he actually knew. How? "You wanted the police to go after you didn't you?" he asked madly. I froze. My heart was beating fasted again. How? How did he know? "You wnated to die," he said madly yet hurt and then gave a little chuckle, "just for johnny too huh?" What the f*** Dal? I thought you were tougher than that. I thought you were wiser than that. And you always seem to tell everyone to wisen up when you yourself can't even do it." He got me. Yeah, now that hurted me real badly.

"Tim, I didn't-" I squeaked.

"Didn't what? Didn't want to live in a world without your gang's pet?" Tim asked.

I knew Tim was smart and he was right too. I shouldn't underistamate Tim for any reason. He was always wise. He knew that too. Wiser than me. Tim is right, i don't even wise up myself. I shouldn't tell Ponyboy things I don't mean... I mean them, I just don't notice I often don't follow them. I was about to make a big mistake. But still I can't go on. Johnny's gone. I wanted to tell Tim I didn't mean it, I wasn't thinking. I guess he must think I'm pretty stupid right about now. "Tim... c'mon... I... I wasn't..." I tried to speak. "How much does he mean to you?" he asked quietly, looking me directly in the eyes. For a moment there the world went silent.

What did he mean by that? Johnny meant a lot. Should I tell him? C'mon Dal. Man up, wise up, listen to yourself. You're Dallas Winston. "Yeah, Tim he means a lot to me," I said with a tough voice. Tim looked like he wanted to punch me. "I asked how much..." he hissed. I was confused. Should I be confused? "Uh..." I stupidly said. "Uh, I don't know. A lot, he meant a lot to me. That's why-" Yeah, I know that was a stupid thing to say. "That's why..." I continued yet again he interrupted me. "That's why you were gonna kill yourself," Tim said loudly as he step into the kitchen. He was making himself coffee, I could tell. He must've been tired and frustrated. "In other words, commiting suicide," he yelled across the room. Seriously, I was gonna commit suicide? Ugh how dumb! But... but Johnny. I was thinking about the good and bad times I had with Johnny and this day was probably my worst. Too busy remebering Johnny, I didn't notice was in front of me. He was also pointing a gun at me. I was scared now. I don't wanna get shot! "I-Is that thing loaded?" I asked, shaking on the couch, hopefully that wasn't noticable. "You bet your a** it's loaded, but yours ain't," he stated as he pulled the trigger. He was right, mines ain't loaded. No... "Why you so scared? Ain't this what you wanted? Well now you can go see Johnny," Tim laughed. Now I can go see Johnny?