I do not own these characters. Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and character names. All plot lines, characterizations, details, etc. belong to Justagirl1238. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization from the author.

This chapter was not beta'd. Please forgive me any errors.

THIS STORY CONTAINS/MAY CONTAIN GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT, ADULT LANGUAGE, DRUG/ALCOHOL USE, ETC. IF YOU ARE NOT OF AGE TO READ SUCH MATERIAL BE GONE NOW LITTLE MINIONS!

The Best Part of Me…Was You

Chapter 18 – It Pours

BPOV

I keep hearing all these voices but I can't open my eyes to look at the faces I feel moving around me.

There are several voices that I hear more often than others. I can't really make out what anyone is saying, but it's a steady hum in the background.

My body hurts so badly, especially my leg. I can't seem to move it. It feels like it's weighed down to whatever I am lying on.

Every so often I feel a heat surge through me and then the pain dissipates for a time. These are the times I can hear the voices more clearly.

"You need to wake up, Bella. God, I am so sorry you are here. We're all waiting for you… please wake up?" one of the voices whispers.

I assume this person is speaking to me because he's very close. He has a soothing voice and I want to open my eyes and see him….but I can't.

I don't understand why he is apologizing to me. Did he have something to do with the darkness and pain I am experiencing now? I can't imagine that he could. He sounds too kind.

"It's…its mom, baby. Can you hear me?" a woman sobs.

Again, I assume she is speaking to me but maybe I have it wrong. Maybe I am dead and I am just hearing other people's random pleas to their loved ones? There's a place called Purgatory, right? Maybe I am there waiting and the light will come soon?

"Bells, I brought you a few things from home…your pajamas, that Weathering Heights book you were reading…I don't know. I figured you'd want something of yours when you wake up."

This man sounds very sad. Bella or Bells seems to be the name everyone is using. Is that me? Why don't I know this? Every once in a while someone will say "when you wake up". Does that mean I'm not dead? Am I asleep?

"Hey Bella bear…its Emmett. I have Rose and Alice here with me. You need to wake up, okay? We all want to talk to you."

"Bella" a girl cries, "It's…its Alice. Wake up, okay?"

There is quiet again for a while and I can hear doors opening and closing.

"Alright…" a female voice says. "I sent them all to the cafeteria so we can really talk. Who can say shit with Alice blubbering away, ya know?" she says with a sigh. "Anyway…I'm not really good at all of this shit in front of people, you know that. Emmett always says I need to show my emotions more. Blah, blah, blah…whatever." Another sigh.. "But…I love you Bella. You've been my best friend for so long and…and you just really need to wake up, okay?" she is crying now. "It was hard enough having you across the country all summer. It's…I can't even think about you being here when I go to school… And Edward… baby, he is a mess. He is blaming himself for you being here. He isn't talking to anybody…"

That voice spoke for quite a while. It sounded familiar. I realized now that they are in fact speaking to me. My name must be Bella.

"Charlie…don't be ridiculous. She is coming to live with me as soon as she is out of the hospital. It makes the most sense. You can't care for her! She might not be able to walk for Christ sakes. You have to work. I can take time off…I'll home school her until she is able to go back into a classroom."

"No…it's out of the question. She lives in Forks, Renee..."

Those voices continued to argue as I drifted out.

"So yeah…I was such a fucking wreck. I mean, I knew you would say yes. Of course you would… but I was still nervous. So I enlisted Jasper and Emmett to help me. That was my first mistake. Emmett was only fourteen you know, but he was coming up with all this shit about sky writing and fucking singing telegrams. Jazz wasn't much better…he wanted me to write you a poem and sing it outside your window. I think he'd seen some fucking movie with a guy and a boom box over his head or something. Anyway…I finally decided on simple. Not because you are simple, but because us together was just simple. Know what I mean? So when I went to your house to ask you on our first official date I…"

I drift out again. Damn it, I want to hear the rest of that story too.

"How's our girl?" a man says. "Are you doing okay, son?"

That soothing voice speaks again.

"It's been so long….She's so quiet. What if…What if it was too late? What if she doesn't wake up?

He has a point, I think. What if I don't wake up? More importantly, do I really care? As long as that warmth kept coming into my system I could stay here. That would be okay.

"She'll wake up Edward. Listen to her heart. It's strong, son. She'll wake up when she's ready…"

"All of this…ALL of this is my fault. She wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me."

I wonder to myself what he did. He sounds so sad and I find myself feeling sorry for this voice, my soothing voice.

I drift away again.

I can feel something…something more than the pain and darkness. This is new.

It feels like little electrical currents on my hands….in my hair.

This feels really nice.

It's very quiet now, but the electricity entertains me. My leg isn't hurting.

I feel the electricity on my neck.

That too feels really nice. Gentle even.

I feel something sliding on my skin. I am not sure what I felt like before, but I know I haven't really felt like this since I've been in this darkness. I don't think so anyway. I feel something pulling me. A connection…or a cord maybe? Pulling me.

There is a little light now. I feel warm.

More light. I try to stop it because it is scary. What happens when there's light? Am I dying?

Something tells me I don't want that. I want to have this electricity in my hair and on my fingers longer.

I'm seeing colors now. They are like dots of light, like rainbows behind a screen.

More light.

More colors.

What is happening?

Suddenly I can feel my body with certainty. I can feel my limbs. My leg hurts again. Not so bad though. I can handle this.

The screen starts to flutter a little. It's getting brighter.

Oh! That's not a screen! Those are eyelids. I can open my eyes now, I think…if I want to.

I hear beeping. Steady.

Beep.

Beep.

I am about to open my eyes when I become scared. Someone is touching me! No…someone is really touching me! I feel fingers on my fingers. Something against my neck.

This can't be right.

I take a breath and open my eyes.

It takes a moment for them to adjust. They flutter open and closed a couple of times before I am able to make out the ceiling clearly. I can see dust in the air.

I don't move my head but I let my eyes travel down. There is a green wall. A really ugly painting…ballet?

Where am I?

Finally my eyes land on a mop of auburn hair. The body attached is holding a necklace between his fingers, his head almost lying on my chest.

I am terrified.

Who is this?

As my terror sets in further and I hear it before I can process what is happening. The scream that comes out of my mouth is almost as terrifying as how I feel.

It BURNS!

I try to scurry up the bed but my leg….is connected to something in the air. I move as much as I am able…away from this person.

I continue to scream and he backs away from me. He is holding his arms up as he retreats and he has a pained look on his face.

I feel bad for him, for maybe a second, but still try to stay as far away from him as I'm able.

He calls me Bella over and over. I am positive now that this is my name.

More people come into the room, but I am not afraid of them. They appear to be hospital staff and I am thankful that they are here to protect me from this stranger.

The man, I assume a doctor, approaches and speaks to me. He tells me to relax. I try to talk to him, but my throat hurts really bad. The screaming didn't help. He explains that my leg, already damaged, had become infected. Most of what he is saying is going completely over my head, but the gist of it seems to be that someone was driving me somewhere, realized I was really hot, tried to wake me and I was unresponsive.

Apparently this person…no wait, there were two people…apparently these people, Rose and Alice, brought me to the hospital.

"Bella, we've had you quite heavily sedated for several days now as we have been trying to fight off the infection. Your vitals are much better now, but you are still not completely out of the woods. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

I think.

In theory I understand what he is saying, but it feels like he's talking to someone else.

I feel okay right now though and from what he's explained, that's a good thing. I am not in any actual physical pain. Emotionally, I am a wreck.

I listen carefully and when the man asks me about my eyes, I am confident in my nod. I can see clearly.

He asks me if I can see Edward. I want to ask him immediately who Edward is, but I glance around the room anyway thinking that I might see a familiar face that will trigger something in me.

I don't see anyone I recognize.

"Who is Edward?" I ask and I can feel a burn in my throat. I need something to drink. The burn is killing me. I reach my hands up and cup my throat.

"Would you like some water?" the man asks me with a concerned look on his face. I nod.

Someone gets me water and they all wait while I drink. I'm feeling like an alien. Everyone just stares and I want to get away from them. I begin to fidget again but am reminded of my leg. I grimace in pain now.

"Are you feeling pain, Bella?" The man asks me and I nod again.

A nurse puts something into the tube that is connected to my arm. Everyone clears out of the room except the man, a nurse and the boy with the chaotic hair. He is now sitting in a chair in the corner watching.

When it is clear that the pain has dissipated, the man speaks again.

"So…Bella, you don't recognize Edward…is that correct?"

I don't answer. I don't know how to. Is Edward the boy in the chair?

"Do you know who I am?" the man asks and I shake my head no.

"Do you know who you are? Can you remember anything?"

I think for a moment before responding.

"Um…well, I know my name is Bella. I've heard everyone say that name."

"Everyone?"

"Well…When I was asleep I could hear people talking and I guess I assumed that was my name because everyone who spoke said it."

"Good…good. Do you know what this is?" he asked as he held up a pen.

"A pen?" I said, feeling kind of silly.

"Do you know where you live?"

I shake my head.

"Do you know what your parent's names are?"

No again.

He continues to ask me questions. He introduces himself as Doctor Cullen. He says I can call him Carlisle if I'd like. Every so often I glance at the boy in the corner. He keeps wiping tears from his eyes and I feel bad for him. Apparently, I should know him. I can tell that by the pain he is obviously in.

After a while more people come into the room. A woman and a man. They look frantic at first and attempt to come to me. I slide back again and Dr. Cullen notices. He takes them into the hallway for a while and when they return, they just stand at the end of the bed and watch me as Dr. Cullen continues to ask questions.

Dr. Cullen explains to me that these two people are my parents. I look at their faces, again trying to find something familiar, but I see nothing that brings forth a memory.

The woman behaves much like the boy in the corner. She wipes tears from her eyes and I feel bad. A girl should know her mother, right?

It is explained to me that I am mostly likely suffering from short term memory loss, associated with the infection and very high fever. Dr. Cullen speaks very confidently and tries to reassure me that he believes I will retrieve my memories. He explains that in most cases, amnesia is a temporary condition. He said it could last a few hours or in more severe cases a few weeks or even months. He is encouraged because I do not seem to be having any trouble recalling some things…for example, what a pen is. He says that I am articulating very clearly.

Apparently as an amnesiac recovers, he or she usually recalls older memories first, and then more recent memories, until almost all memory is recovered. Memories of events that occurred around the time of an accident or onset of amnesia are sometimes never recovered.

Dr. Cullen explains that I would just have to take things slowly. The most important thing is to let my body heal. Everything will happen as it's supposed to. He says commonly, once memories start to resurface, the rest follow fairly quickly if they are to be recovered.

"Just try to relax Bella" he says. "If you try to rush it or force the memories, it will just make things more stressful for you. You'll most likely be in the hospital for another week or so until your leg is stable enough to allow you bed rest at home. Use this time to relax and begin your recovery. Maybe your parents could bring in some photo albums for you to glance through?" he looks to my…parents, and they both nod encouragingly. "You could also read diaries or journals, if you've kept those sorts of things?"

I didn't respond because I had no idea if I did.

Dr. Cullen finally instructs everyone that they need to leave. My parents protest, but the boy in the corner just stands and puts his hands in his pockets, looking down at the floor.

"Renee…Charlie" Dr Cullen says. "It was fine to have a twenty four hour watch when Bella was unconscious. However, now that she is awake, we need to give her alone time to rest with her thoughts. We also need to allow her body that rest without everyone sitting around her. She is going to have a fairly busy evening as it is since we'll need to check the rest of her motor skills, run some more tests now that she's awake…"

My eyes return to back to the boy as the other three stand in the doorway talking. He still isn't looking up. He's just moving his foot around on the floor, hands in pockets. He looks so sad and for whatever reason I feel the need to comfort him.

"Edward…that is your name, right?" I ask softly so not to disturb the conversation Dr. Cullen was having on the other side of the room.

His eyes move up to me.

"Yes" he says in a groggy voice.

"I'm sorry that I don't remember you" I say. "I'm sorry that you're…sad."

"No…" he responds with the sadness I am referring to in his voice. "Don't worry about me, Bella. Just…work on feeling better, okay?" A small smile is on his face now and I actually feel myself blush.

"Edward" Dr. Cullen says and the boy, I mean Edward, and I both look in his direction. "It's time to let Bella rest, son. Why don't you head home? I spoke with your mother a little while ago and she's waiting for you."

Edward nods and looks back to me.

"Okay…I'm going to go now. I'll…is it okay if I stop by tomorrow?"

God…I don't know how to answer that. I mean, I realize he is feeling sad and I don't want to add to his unhappiness, but I just feel like it would be awkward and uncomfortable to having him just sitting in this room with me.

Is he a friend of mine? A classmate? Were we…more? I don't know.

"Um…maybe you could…wait a few days? See if I remember anything first?"

I don't dare ask him how I know him.

He looks really sad again, but tries to play it off like he's fine. That makes me feel bad again.

"Yeah…yeah, that's cool" he says. "I'll…maybe I'll call you in a few days or something and see if you are up for visitors?"

I nod and give him a little smile.

"Goodbye Edward."

"Bye Bella" he says as he makes his way out the door.

It's very odd, I think to myself. As soon as he is out of the room I feel really lonely, like something is missing. I almost call out his name to come back, but I realize that is silly. What would I say to him if I did? "Oh, hey guy, I don't know you but um…when you left, I was bummed so could ya just come back and stand there in the corner for a while?"

My parents come to the bed slowly and tell me goodbye. They say that they will see me tomorrow. My mother disregards the uncomfortable air in the room and leans in and hugs me. My dad is more cautious. He simply takes my hand for the briefest second and gives it a squeeze before releasing it.

When I am alone…really alone in the room, I try to think. I desperately search for any memories of my life. I come up completely blank. There is not even a flicker of something before I was in this bed listening to voices around me. I start to panic a little. What if Dr. Cullen is wrong and I never remember?

Today two girls come by to see me. They say their names are Alice and Rose. I remember their names from yesterday. Rose says that she is leaving for college tomorrow and she wanted to stop by and give me a few things before she goes. Though it doesn't mean much at the moment, she promises she'll be back on weekends and will come and see me.

They hand me some photo albums.

"These are the photos our parents don't see" Alice says with a giggle. "So keep them to yourself, okay?"

I nod, wondering if I am secretly a porn star or something.

They do not stay long, as Dr. Cullen has instructed them I can only have short visits.

Alice tells me we are in the same grade. Apparently we are going to be seniors in a few days…so she'll be around more than the other girl.

Rose asks me if it's okay to hug me. It makes me uncomfortable, but seems important to her, so I comply.

"I love you, Bella" she says as she wipes tears from her eyes. "You'll get your memories back…I'm sure of it."

Alice gives me a hug too and then they are gone.

I open the top photo album and brace myself for naked photos. I chuckle to myself when I realize it isn't quite that scandalous. The pictures are, for the most part, pretty tame though there are many of us at parties with drinks in hand. This must be why the parents don't see these photos.

There are pictures of me in embraces with both of the girls that were just here. Arms over shoulders or around waists, smiling at the camera.

There are also a lot of pictures with that boy…Edward. He must have been my boyfriend or is my boyfriend? I'm not sure what he is, but the pictures show him with his arm around my waist or holding my hand. There are some pictures where I am sitting on his lap.

I pick up another album and this one has older pictures. The smaller girl isn't in these pictures so I wonder if maybe I didn't know her until recently.

The one girl, Rose, is in most of these with me. The…Edward is there too. There are also two other boys that appear in many of the pictures so I think I must know these boys too.

I don't go through all of the pictures, but I continue to scan books looking for something that will trigger a memory.

I stop when I get to one picture. It is Edward sitting on a picnic table and I am sitting between his legs. We are kissing. The lighting is beautiful, I think to myself.

I sigh. No memory of this event…but it still makes me feel nice.

He really is a very handsome boy. He seems to care about me.

The door opens and a very large boy walks in, followed by a smaller guy. They are the boys from the photo albums so I am not afraid. I smile, trying to seem somewhat normal. I don't know what their names are so I just sit with this stupid grin on my face.

"Hey Bella bear" the big one says nervously, gagging my reaction.

Bella bear? Okaaay. Maybe I'm really confused and this one's my boyfriend?

"Um…hi" I respond.

The both pull up chairs and sit down, careful not to get too close to me. I appreciate that.

They proceed to tell me who they are. The big one is Emmett and the smaller one is Jasper. They tell me that we have been friends since we were little. I listen closely as they give me a cliff notes version of parts of my life. They explain that we met Edward when I was five and they were all six. They tell me about things we did out in the trees somewhere.

They talk about when I started dating Edward and how Rose and Emmett finally started dating last summer. Apparently Alice started going to our school this past year and her and Jasper have been dating for almost a year now.

I listen…but nothing clicks.

I don't ask them if I am still dating Edward. I don't feel comfortable talking to them about what might or might not be my romantic relationships.

"Well, Bella bear" Emmett says as they both stand. They have been here for a long time trying to help me piece things together. "I'm leaving tomorrow and probably won't be back for a few weeks so…" He looks a little uncomfortable now. Finally he sighs and shrugs his shoulders. "Fuck it…would it be okay if I hug you goodbye?"

I tense at this. He's an awfully big guy…but he's been so kind today and I obviously am friends with him.

"Okay" I whisper.

He moves very slowly over to the bed, like he's afraid of upsetting the zoo animals. I almost want to laugh. I am not a wild bear…I will not attack him if he moves too quickly. Or…will I?

Eventually he makes it to me and gives me a very sweet hug. He is followed by Jasper, who hugs me but much more tensely. When he pulls away quickly we both panic because he almost yanks the tube right out of my arm.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he says quickly.

I laugh.

"It's okay…don't worry about it. I'm fine."

According to Jasper, he'll be in town much more than Emmett since he is dating Alice. He says he'll be by to visit me as often as he can. Again, I don't feel either good or bad about that. The offer is very nice.

They both head out the door with a final wave.

The next morning my parents come by again and I am pulled away twice to have a CAT scan and an MRI.

"Bells?" my dad says to me as he makes his way in the door when I return from the MRI. "I brought company!"

I look behind him as a young boy follows. He looks like he might be Indian? He's tall, darker skinned…and handsome. He is built really well. My cheeks flush.

"Hi Bells" the boy says as he approaches the bed.

He is very different than the others that have been here. He doesn't move tentatively. No, he approaches quickly and hugs me without hesitation.

"Hi" I say, a little nervous.

"Bella," my dad says. "This is Jacob Black. He's friend of yours. He called the house this morning and I explained to him that you were in the hospital so he wanted to come and see you. Is that okay?"

Was it? I don't know.

"Sure…of course, yeah…that's fine" I smile.

"Okay…I'll leave you kids alone for a while. I'm going to go check in with Dr. Banner and Dr. Cullen."

Jacob sits down on the edge of the bed.

"God Bells…I'm so sorry I didn't come before now. I had no idea you were in the hospital. Hell…I had no idea you were in Washington!"

I looked at him and almost laughed. He was so full of energy. I liked that he wasn't walking on egg shells around me. I felt normal for a moment.

"Where did you think I was?" I ask.

"Well, when I talked to you a week ago, you were still in Arizona."

"Arizona?"

"Yeah…at your mom's house."

So my parents aren't together. I make a mental note.

"And we are friends?" I ask him. I feel comfortable with this boy. I am curious and I am not afraid to ask questions.

"Yeah…of course we're friends." He laughs. "I mean…you have a huge…massive actually…crush on me, but yeah…right now we are definitely friends."

I laugh. I know he's joking…and I like this boy.

"How long have we known each other" I ask him, remembering that I didn't see him in any of the pictures.

"We met last spring at First Beach. It's…well, La Push is the reservation I live on. You were camping with your friends and we met then. We went out a few times but…"

"But what?" I'm more curious now.

"Well…you had just broken up with your boyfriend so you weren't really ready to date someone else yet. We've been friends since. We've talked a lot on the phone while you were in Phoenix at your mom's."

So that explains the status of my relationship with Edward.

"How are you feeling?" he asks with concern as he places his hand on mine.

Surprisingly, it doesn't make me uncomfortable.

"I'm okay…I mean considering I don't know anybody or remember one detail of my life. Yeah…I'm fine." I tease.

He laughs.

"Well…we'll get there, don't worry about it Bells" he says with a smile. "The most important thing to know is that you think I'm sort of beautiful and you have been secretly pinning for me since we met."

Again, I know he is teasing so I laugh. It feels odd. This boy is bringing out the first real laughs I have felt since I woke up.

Jacob, or Jake as he tells me he's called, stays for about an hour. We have a very comfortable conversation. No strain at all. It's so nice and relaxing. And he's a talker. He talks non-stop.

"Well, I'd better get going. Your dad gave me a time limit" he chuckles as he stands.

I'm actually sad to see him go. I've discovered in this short time that he has no filter. He says and does what he wants before thinking.

Which is why I am not surprised when he leans in and hugs me again, placing a small kiss on my cheek.

"I'll come back and see you in a couple days on Sunday. Everybody that's leaving for college pretty much heads out this weekend so there's a big party on Saturday night. How long are you in here for?"

"Um…Dr. Cullen says a week or two."

"Okay. I'll bring some movies and a board game or something. Sound cool?" he asks.

I nod and smile. It does sound good.

I see my parents and Alice the next day. When she's not crying, Alice is actually very sweet. She fills me in on more missing pieces from the past. It's fun. I enjoy her company too.

I ask her if they are going to the party at La Push. She seems a little surprised when I tell her that Jake stopped by but doesn't elaborate. I get the feeling she doesn't like Jacob. She tells me though that they are not going to the party. Apparently our friends will already be gone, getting settled in an apartment for the boys and a dorm room for Rose. She tells me that she had planned to go with for the weekend, but thought I might like company.

"Oh no…please Alice. Go with everyone as planned. I would feel terrible if you missed it."

"Don't be silly Bella. I'll be going up there all the time…the weekends Jazz can't come back and stuff."

"I know, but…You should go. Jake is going to be coming by this weekend, so I'll have him for company and then, of course, my parents…"

"Jacob Black is coming back?" she asks with an odd tone to her voice.

"Yes…is that wrong?" I'm not sure if I should be concerned about him.

"No…I mean, its fine. He's…okay. I guess I just didn't realize you still talked to him."

"He says we talked a lot on the phone when I was in Phoenix" I tell her.

"Hmm…"

"Alice, just say it" I say out of frustration. I don't know all the back stories here and her silence is frustrating me.

"I'm sorry…" she says with a sigh. "I just…well, I guess I was just hoping that you and Edward would work things out is all."

"Alice…I can't be with anyone right now. Anyone." I say the word with definition. "I don't even know who I am, other than what everyone tells me. You all have these memories that I can't recall. Do you know how frustrating that is?"

She sits on the edge of the bed and looks at me. "I'm sorry…I wasn't thinking. Of course you should spend time with anyone you want to. It might trigger some memories."

Edward calls me four times.

Once after Alice leaves. Twice on Friday and then again on Saturday morning. He wants to come and see me. I want to see him too for some odd reason…but I'm also afraid to. If there are indeed romantic feelings between us, I don't want to confuse either of us while I try to figure out my past. I need to remember something…anything…before I deal with Edward.

When he was in the room with me I felt the most bizarre electric current. The same one I felt when I was in the darkness. I felt bad for him when he looked so sad. I felt the need to comfort him. I missed him when he left.

All of that was too confusing right now so I ask Edward to just give me a few more days.

On Saturday my mother came by alone. She told me she needed to go back to Arizona for a few days but she would be back later in the week.

Sunday comes and Jake visits again. I smile as soon as I see him. He looks so carefree.

"Hey Loca," he says as he bops into the room.

"Hey" I chuckle. "You look happy?"

"Oh…that party last night was a blast! We had so much fun. I mean…it kinda sucks that so many of my friends are heading off to college, but we definitely sent them out in style" he laughs.

"Well you don't look hung over so it must have been a pretty tame party?" I tease.

"Nah…I'm a quick healer." He laughs.

Jacob and I watch two movies. The first one is something about cars racing. I don't get it and I don't like cars. Furiously Fast or something, he called it. The second one was a romantic movie. Jake teased that he had brought one real movie and a chick flick. That made me laugh again.

"What's this one called?" I asked as he placed the DVD in the machine.

"Uh…A Walk To Remember" he says turning the case over in his other hand. He walks back over to the bed reading the back of the case.

"It's about a guy who gets in trouble and he has to spend time with some goody two shoes girl making a play or something so he doesn't get kicked out of school. It's not mind," he says cute & defensively, "I rented it and the lady…she said all chicks like it so…"

"I'm sure it'll be good, Jake" I say as he sits in the chair next to the bed.

The movie turns out to be really, really good. The boy and girl fall in love but she is sick and dies at the end. Before she does though, the boy makes all of her wishes come true…including marrying her.

Jake laughs at me as I sit in my bed sobbing.

"Don't laugh at me" I sniffle. "She died!"

He keeps laughing. "Jesus Christ, Bells…it's a movie!"

"It's still sssss..ad."

"Awe…don't cry" he teases as he gets up and comes over to the bed. He leans in and gives me a playful hug.

Or so I thought.

After a few seconds, neither of us are laughing or sobbing anymore. It is…still.

Jacob pulls back slightly and looks into my eyes.

We look at each other for what seems like forever. It is probably only moments.

He leans forward this time and puts his lips to mine. He doesn't move them, but they are touching. His lips are warm.

He presses a little harder but it just…doesn't feel right.

I lean away to tell him this isn't a good idea when I notice movement by the door.

I look around Jake and there stands Edward.

I immediately feel guilty…though I don't know why.

"Edward" I say as he stares at me.

Jacob clears his throat and stands up straight, turning to face Edward.

"Edward" Jake says curtly, and Edward's eyes move from mine to his. "What brings you by today?"

Edward looks shocked and I suppose it makes sense if there is a history between us. Alice had said she hoped we would be getting back together.

"I um…" His eyes come back to mine. "I was just stopping by to see how you are Bella. I'm…sorry. It's obviously not a…good time."

He turns and heads back out the door. I want to call to him again, but I don't.

Jake turns back to me and smirks. "Guess he was in a hurry" he says as he shrugs his shoulders.

"Jacob…don't" I say, sad that Edward walked in on something that made him feel so sad that he fled.

Jake sits back down on the bed and takes my hand.

"I'm not going to apologize for kissing you, Bella. I've told you how I feel about you."

"I know" I say as I look at our intertwined fingers. "I just…Jake, I'm not ready to get into something with anyone. I told Alice this already, but I need to make sure you understand it too….I have no idea who I am, Jake. I have to figure that out before I even think about anything else."

"I know" he answers quickly. "I don't expect anything from you Bells. I just want you to know you have options. Edward is not the only one who cares about you and…I wouldn't hurt you."

I look him in the eyes but don't ask him to expand on that statement. I don't think it is fair to Edward. Obviously Jake has feelings for me. He is going to try to cast the competition in a bad light. I would rather figure out who I am interested in on my own. And quite frankly, I had no interest in making any declarations right now. I was serious…I need to remember Bella before I can think about any boys.

Jacob leaves a short while later and I lay in my hospital bed thinking. I pick up albums again and start to page through them.

I'm so frustrated that nothing is coming to me. Why can't I remember anything? It's been days now.

I look around the room, searching my brain for answers…when I see something.

A small box sitting just inside my room next to the door. Edward must have brought it.

I can't get up and get it so I push the call button.

"Nurse's station…how may I help you?"

"Could someone come and help me get something?" I ask.

"Of course…I'll be right there."

A moment later a nurse appears in my room. "What can I help you with, sweetie?" she asks with a smile.

"Could you bring that box to me please?"

She sees the box on the floor and picks it up. It's obviously heavy. I can hear her sort of grunt as she lifts.

She sets it in the chair Jacob previously occupied and pushes it up to the bed.

"There you go hon. Can I do anything else for you? Some water maybe?"

"Water would be great" I smile.

She picks up the pitcher and pours some water into my glass and hands it to me. "If you need anything else, just push the button, okay?"

I nod and smile and she leaves the room.

I reach over and undo the flaps on the box. I peer inside.

It's filled with items. Random things like toys, books, CD's.

I'm disappointed. He must have brought me things from home to keep me occupied.

I sigh.

I lie back on the pillow and close my eyes.

A week goes by.

Alice and Jacob come by and call often. My dad stops in around dinner time each day. Edward doesn't come back though.

At one point I thought I should call him. Apologize for what he walked in on. Tell him I wasn't with Jacob. But…I didn't know his phone number and I was embarrassed to ask Alice if she had it.

My mom is back from Phoenix now and Dr. Cullen tells me I can go home next week if everything continues to progress between now and then. My parents continue to express their concerns over my memory. Dr. Cullen doesn't seem as concerned.

Two weeks and one day and I finally make it home.

Nothing looks familiar and I am more frustrated than ever. Remember already! I tell myself.

I still have not heard from Edward and I am starting to really miss him. It's so strange to me. I have no memories, other than a lot of photos and a couple of visits, but still he is an ever present thought in my mind.

"Bells?" My dad says as he peaks his head into my room.

I don't need to have my leg in the air anymore, but I do still need to keep it elevated so I have a mound of pillows at the foot of my bed holding it in place.

"Hey Dad" I say and encourage him in.

"Your mom and I would like to talk to you for a few minutes. Are you feeling okay? Do you feel like you need to sleep?"

I laugh. "I'm fine, dad…come in, please."

He steps in the room and my mom comes in after him. They both stand by the bed and I can feel a tension between them.

"Bella" my mom starts. "Your father and I have discussed this extensively over the past couple of weeks. We feel that with your fathers work schedule…um…well, I have taken a leave of absence from work. That's what I was doing in Phoenix last week. I was also getting the house….I…. I've made arrangements to help you keep up your school work at home and …"

"What? Wait…what?" I stutter as I try to process.

"Bells, your mom thinks it would be better for you to come to Phoenix this year. You know, after all that's gone on and…"

"No." I say without hesitation. "I live in Forks. I'm staying in Forks."

I don't know why it matters…I don't know anyone at this point anyway. But I am not leaving Forks. Something tells me this is exactly where I am supposed to be.

EPOV

"Edward, it's Rose."

"Where the fuck are you?" I practically screamed at her. It had been an hour since I left Bella's house. I'd been driving around with no particular destination trying to find her.

"Calm down. Are you calm?"

"Am I calm?" No, I'm not fucking calm! Where are you? Where's Bella?"

"We're at the hospital. Bella was…"

"What?! The hospital? I'm on my way."

I don't even remember driving to the hospital. As soon as I heard that's where Bella was, I went on auto pilot. I had no idea what happened, but I needed to get to her and that was my only focus.

"Edward," my father said in his work voice, "Bella shouldn't have traveled so far yet. The jostling of her leg, the stress, everything combined just wasn't good for her. At some point she developed an infection in her leg, probably before she even got to you. The infection was rapidly traveling up her leg when she got to the hospital. We've got her heavily sedated right now. The antibiotics are already stabilizing her system, but it's just going to take a while. We've given her morphine so she's not feeling pain."

Part of me was relieved. I mean, here she was lying in this bed looking so peaceful. She wasn't moaning or crying, she didn't appear to be in any pain. But the other part of me was angry…angry with myself for not taking her to Forks myself, angry for not realizing she was sick to begin with. I obviously knew her leg hurt, but why didn't I notice more was going on? Bella was always so warm. Her skin always felt so soft and heated against my own, but I should have been paying better attention. I had always made it my job to take care of Bella, even when she didn't want me to. She used to tell me I underestimated her, that she was stronger than I gave her credit for, and while that was probably true on many occasions, I should have never let her out of my site this time. I wouldn't be making that mistake again. I wouldn't leave her side again unless she ordered me away.

When I saw her eyes flutter open in the hospital I took the first real breathe I'd taken since she left my apartment. When it became clear that she had no fucking idea who I was…well, the breathing stopped again.

My father went on about how she would retrieve her memories soon enough. As much as it killed me to leave that room, I knew I was making her uncomfortable. I could see it in her eyes as she looked at me and pretended not to study me for some type of recollection. I figured everything would happen just as my father said and like a light bulb it would all turn on any minute. And fuck me if I wasn't being patient. I didn't go to the hospital. Instead I called her several times, hoping each time that she would finally sound excited to hear my voice and she'd tell me she remembered me. But each time she just asked me for a few more days.

My mother practically tackled me at the door when I tried to leave with the box. She said I was only causing myself unnecessary pain. Bella would remember me; I didn't need to take things to the hospital. But…fuck that. We had some kick ass memories in this box…and if anything was going to quick fire that right side brain, these things would.

I was stunned when I walked into her room. There she was in a fucking lip lock with that La Push motherfucker. I wanted to lunge across the room and tear his flesh off. I wanted to kill him. But I just stood there…completely frozen.

And when he looked at me…the smirk on his face? Had we been anywhere but in Bella's hospital room I would have ended that son of a bitch.

Bella looked almost as stunned as I did. But the thing that kept me from asking questions was the look in her eyes. I could see she felt sorry for me. Of all the things I wanted from her, pity was not one of them. I didn't want her to try to explain or to ask La Push motherfucker to leave the room…or the million other responses that could have come…out of pity. So I left.

Part of me was still hoping that she would call out to me and that it wouldn't be in pity but because she wanted me there instead of him. There was nothing though. Not a word as I made my way out the door and down the corridor.

I fought the urge to wait in the parking lot and beat the living shit out of him when he came out of the building, but I didn't do it. I drove home and went straight to my room.

There was little in my room now. Most of my clothes, my music, and my journals were all in our new apartment. Still there were a million memories of Bella surrounding me. I could feel her in every fabric, every surface. The things we'd done here and the conversations we'd had haunted me.

Wednesday was the worst day of my life so far. I was lying in my bed lost in thought when my father knocked on my door.

"Edward? We need you to come downstairs for a moment," he said in a tone saved only for those occasions when I'd royally fucked up somehow.

I made my way down the stairs and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw him.

There, sitting at our dining room table, was Chief Swan.

My mother was sitting at the table as well, crying into a Kleenex and not looking up at me as I walked towards the table.

Fuck.

They proceeded, over the next hour, to discuss everything Bella had told her father. While she didn't share all the intimate details, it was still fucking mortifying. My mother kept looking up at me with pained eyes and then immediately began sobbing into the Kleenex again.

Chief Swan explains that there was little we could do to prove Tanya put something in my drink after such a long time, and my father concurred. Still, the Chief wanted to speak with everyone involved including Tanya, her parents and Kate. My father was….well, he was just pissed. Not at me but at the situation. His first reaction was to march over to Tanya's house & confront her immediately. I'd never seen my father so angry. But Bella's father explained that would only put her family on the defensive and the chance of getting any information out of them would be slim to none if that happened. With no physical evidence he said our best course of action was to let him do his job. "I'm a cop. I know things," he insisted.

Chief Swan made me write out my statement of what I could remember. He instructed me not to include what Bella had told me as without her memories it would be inadmissible. He said that he would follow up with what he could and try to get a statement from Kate first. Perhaps when faced with that Tanya would simply admit her wrong doing. If not, everything would be documented and hopefully Bella's memories would return soon and she could offer her own written account of the events.

Then there was what would be accomplished if Tanya did admit what she'd done. It wasn't like they would cart her off into the woods or something. She was a juvenile so at most would probably get probation, maybe some court mandated therapy.

I tried to make my argument that if there was nothing we could do what was the point of putting all this embarrassment down on paper, but by now everyone was talking around me instead of to me.

Chief Swan left after a couple of hours and said he would be in touch. I didn't want to discuss it any more and retreated to my room but all I could do was toss and turn.

"Edward, are you sure you're okay to drive tonight?" my mother asked in a concerned tone.

"I'll be fine. I just…I need to get back. School's started and there's no reason for me to be here. Chief Swan said he'll let you know if he needs me for anything."

It sounded logical. I did need to get to school. Everyone else had already started classes. It didn't make sense for me to sit in Forks waiting for…I had no idea what. Bella still had no memory according to my father and against my better judgment I'd sat outside the hospital twice now and watched LP motherfucker walk in to visit her.

What was I still doing here?

I started my engine and gave a smile to my parents before pulling down the driveway & heading down the street. I purposely kept my eyes forward as I drove by Bella's house. I wasn't saying goodbye again. In my mind I knew that once she remembered she would call.

Now it was just a waiting game.