Chapter 6

Here is the long awaited Chapter 6. I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to write it and get it out! Thanks to all the review. They are inspiration for me to keep writing, as stupid as that sounds. I appreciate the feedback as well. Anything that I could do better, something that doesn't make sense, any feedback is welcome. Let me know what you think about this chapter! (: Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Thank you!

Amy's POV

I just sat there; I didn't know what to do or say. When I looked at his face I saw concern and heartache. I thought he would go away, I indicated to him that I was fine and he was late for class now. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't just leave already. I don't like having an audience when I cry, I do it in the confined space of my bedroom. Where no one is watching and I can let my emotions go for once. I didn't know what to say to him, I don't talk to people. I tried to avoid everyone in this hellhole because I plan on leaving in a few months.

"Well?" I said. It sounded bitchy but I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone let alone tell him such personal matters. I don't even know him for God's sake.

"I just wanted to see if you're okay. It looked like you were, uh, going to cry." he said. As he said the last part he ran his hand through the hair on the back of his head. He looked as if he didn't know what to say and didn't want to make anything worsethan it already was. It was sweet really, if I believed in that kind of thing.

"I told you I was fine.' Just give him short little answers, he'll get annoyed and then leave. That was the plan, this conversation wasn't getting to painfully awkward for my liking. I just wanted him to go away.

"Are you sure? I mean, I know I'm not good at this kind of thing, but if you need someone to talk to I'm here." I could tell he meant every word. Again, very sweet but not my thing. If he wants a girl, he should go find someone else. I'm not the kind of girl a boy wants. I carry too much emotional baggage, let alone I take care of two twins and my life isn't all that great. I don't have time for that a relationship, but not only that, I don't believe in them. There is no such thing as love, and if there was I still wouldn't put myself out there. It was just like I had told Joie and Charlotte a couple of weeks ago, I wasn't about to put myself through any more kind of harm. Especially not one I inflict upon myself.

"I don't even know you Paul. You are just a guy that goes to my school, and if I'm being honest here. I'm not staying in La Push much longer. So if it's a girl you're looking for, go find someone else cause I am not a suitable mate. As for sharing my feelings with you, no thanks, I don't share my feelings. Ever. So please, just go to class like a good school boy and leave me alone. My life is complicated enough without some boy trying to screw it all up." My face was like stone, no emotion whatsoever. It was heartless to say, but completely the truth. Joie and Charlotte would kill me once they found out what I said. They would give the excuse that he is attractive and I should try it. He ran his hand through his hair again and closed his eyes. He looked like he was in physical pain and I was wondering why. Sure I was a total bitch to him just a few seconds ago, but I'm not completely heartless. I didn't want to ask though, because I wanted him gone.

I let him sit for a few moments in silence. He looked to be thinking deeply amongst his pain. Finally, he opened his eyes and looked at me. We sat for just a bit more before he said something. I expected him to say something cute, sweet, or cheesy. Something like, "I'm not going to give up on you babe." or "You're worth it." Instead I got a simple, "I'm sorry." before he stood up, straightened his clothes out, and walked away. He didn't walk towards his next class though, he walked out towards the parking lot. I watched as he got in his car and drove away. As soon as I could no longer see his truck, I collected my belongings and went to class. We were watching a movie, so it wasn't that big of a deal I was late. I slipped into class and watched the teacher give me a tardy.

I sat thinking about the last word Paul said. Sorry. It held so much emotion in it. It didn't feel like it was a sorry for bothering me, more like a sorry for everything bad that has ever happened to me. It felt like he was saying sorry for my parents, or lack therof, Tyler's death, my hard life, the twins, and my emotional trauma. i didn't understand how he could feel sorry for that. He didn't know me, I'd barely said a few sentences to him before today.

He might have known that my brother was dead, but he didn't know the circumstances behind it. He didn't know I was with him when he died. That I saw firsthand as my brother took his last few breaths and then stopped for all of eternity. He didn't know that I watched the headlights come straight at us, that Tyler unbuckled his seatbelt and wrapped his arms around me to protect me. He didn't know that because of me, my brother was dead. If he did, he wouldn't feel sorry. I got my brother killed. He is resting under the ground because of me. It's all my fault.

He couldn't know my life went to shit after that. My parents stopped caring. I raised myself from then on. They paid for my things, but as far as parents go, that's all they did. Then Mom got pregnant with the twins and I thought life was going to get better. Mom and Dad seemed happier than they had been since Tyler's death. Then nine months later they were born and life didn't change. It turns out Chris looked exactly like Tyler when he was bo rn. That triggered something in my parents, and they took care of the babies for the first few months. I'm guessing just because of all the shots and vaccines they needed to have. They had to seem like caring parents. Some wierd twisted logic of theirs. After the first few months were up, it be came my job to take care of them.

As time went on, they paid for less and less of our things. They paid for the main essentials: food, a few clothes, school supplies, and diapers. They didn't pay for the Leah's babysitting while I was at school, that was my job. They didn't pay for many of the thin gs that were crucial to our living comfortablly and not letting out the secret my parents didn't care. I had to make sure no one knew about how I lived. Charlie and Joie knew, but that's it. If other people found out on the reservation, life would change drastically. I would lose Chris and Angie and my parents would go to jail for child neglection. I couldn't lose the twins, I couldn't. They were what kept my sane. They kept me grounded on Earth and I loved them immensely. There was no cap on how much I loved those two. There was no way Paul could know all these things about my life. He wouldn't find out either. I would have to keep him at bay and keep a close eye on him. If he found out, he wouldn't keep quiet. I had no intentions of losing everything I had just before I turned eighteen in a few months. It wasn't going to happen.

The bell rang, and I didn't notice because I was in the middle of all of my thoughts. I didn't know it had rang until my teacher flipped on the lights. I looked around and I was the only one in therre. I bolted out of there with my bookbag. I went to my locker, grabbed the necessities such as my homework and books that I needed and then went straight to my car. I threw my stuff on the passenger seat and went to Leah's. I needed to hold the twins after a day like mine had just been. Leah was all too willing to give them to me. It was obvious I was upset, and she didn't want to bother me. She wished me safe travelling home. I thanked her and buckled the kids in.

My day went in a blur after that. It all mixed together. I don't really remember specific things that happened; my br ain was too muddled. I do remember that I felt like I was being watched. It wasn't the eerie kind though, it was a safe feeling. I felt protected for once in five years. I was pretty sure my mind was making it up, but I took it and I ran. I haven't felt safe and protected since Tyler died and while I had it, I was going to use it. It was nice, feeling protected.

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