Heh...Well, hi anyone that is readin this story. If you're reading this, thanks for the oportunity.

This is my first attempt of writing something, so there might be spelling or ortographic errors, hope that doesn't affect the story much.

This is a, kind of, absurd fic, It's a mayor crossover and an attempted parody as you'll see if I succeed in keep you interested. It's also is inspired in some dark humor comics and Disney movies and songs, I hope the plot is easy to follow. I have already seven chapters written so I will try tu upload them all soon.

Dissclaimer: I do not own anything, nor the characters, nor the songs.

"The yelps of Xombieland"

The air was fresh, tainted with the special smell the slaughter had left. Everlain was now known as the eternal reign of mystery and horror.

Whatever was the season, winter or summer, the weather in the city was always cold, and rainy, like the town itself wanted to be isolated in its own coffin, always shady, perfect for the dreadfulness that had come to it -And to all the world as a matter of fact-. Some of its inhabitants used to call the city a joke from god -Although most of its inhabitants were now dead, so whatever- From the form every building was built, the depressive weather and the general grey appearance of everything around, the town had turned out to be one of the most gloomiest places on the world –Or currently, what was left of it-.

But from all the grey-looking buildings, the one that had its special fame was one called the Xombieland, a large dark castle-like fortress in the high part of the city, with enormous towers surrounding it and a labyrinth-like construction, hallways dark as putrid blood and elegant, yet creepy decorations. But none of these characteristics was the most feared feature of Xombieland, but the fact that in there, it was said to inhabit a mysterious presence, someone so sinister that even the creatures that now lured all around the city feared it from their bottom of their nasty hearts; they called him the Viral King.

Of course this hideous creature had its own history, a history that had begun long before the currently apocalyptic paraphernalia.

Irving smiled as he sat in the border of the roof of an old house; the family that had lived there had gone long ago, somehow he knew all of this was fated to happen, catastrophes like this always sent some kind of warning before happening. He closed his eyes and rose his hand, holding a cigarette, inhaling a deep puff, ignoring for a moment the grunts and growls of the creatures all around him –Creatures that tended to ignore him too-, when he opened his eyes again, he decided to concentrate in the horizon that was now glimmering with an orange color, indicating that the dawn was near –Orange was also one of his favorite colors-.

The sun appeared a while later; it was always an enjoyable view after all the incidents that had brought the world into its actual tragic conditions. Contemplating a clean dawn was something relieving. The sunlight touch made him smile and wander. This morning was special. The buildings so hollow and grey, the water and the soil so impregnated with blood, and the air…god, the air so full of screams and innocent pleas. He needed to do something, to say something…no… to sing…that is…

The tossed aside the last of the cigarette butt and took in a deep breath.

"The people still perish, as our new world awakes, to the yelps of Xombieland.
The arsons still glimmer, the old buildings burn.
To the yelps of Xombieland.
To the big yelps and roars of the tyrants, to the little yelps soft as a sigh.And some say the soul of the city is the tone in the yelps.

The yelps of Xombieland"

As he ended this first verse, he noted something odd in the ambient, he realized he wasn't alone, as a little figure walked towards him and sat just feet away, completely in silence, like waiting for more reciting. Irving didn't even looked at the little guest, but smiled at the notion of having somebody to share this beautiful morning image with.

"Listen, they're beautiful, no?" He asked calmly, not moving his sight from the impressive picture that the clean horizon offered –Of course he neither was dumb to look directly to the sun- "So many colors of sound, so many changing moods. Because you know, it wasn't like this back in our old times"

"It wasn't?" Was the response in a high-pitched voice, just like his. He knew then who the little mysterious stranger that was accompanying him was.

"No, silly boy. Up there, high, high in the dark bastion tower lives the mysterious Viral King" Irving stated, this time looking at the place he had just mentioned, the tower slightly visible from the distance "Who is this creature?"

" Who?" The voice repeated with apparent childish interest.

"What is he?"

"What?" Again with an energized tone, his question was repeated. And also it seemed that every time this little guest spoke, he enclosed the distance to him.

"How did he come to be there?"

"How?"

Effectively, the little guest was now at his side, smiling innocently at him, like a kid that waits for a candy. Irving took advantage of this pushing down the purple hat the little one was wearing, just playfully, to make him be quiet.

"Hush…

"Ow!" The little one replied.

…and Irving will tell you" He smiled "It is a tale, a tale of a man and a monster"

-FlashBack-

- Dark was the night when our tale was begun on the docks near Xombieland-

"Shup it up, will you!" A grim pale man said to an equally pale and grim woman at his side.

"We'll be spotted!" Another one recriminated in a nervous tone. Referring both to a little bundle that she was carrying in her arms, as their group walked trough the shady hallways of the city, precisely, near the gloomy castle itself.

"Hush, little one" She tried fretfully to get his little package quiet.

-Four frightened zombies slid silently under the docks near Xombieland-

"You'll need some money to safe passage into the free side" Another undead shape offered with greedy hazy eyes.

-But a trap had been laid for the zombies. And they gazed up in fear and alarm; at a figure whose resent was harsh and pungent as blades-

A group of skilled soldiers then took them prisoners with cruel manners, and quickly they put them into disposal of their sinister superior.

"Judge Chris Redfield" Gasped one of the undead pilgrims wrapped in panic.

-The yelps of Xombieland-

(Kyrie Eleison)

-Judge Chris Redfield longed to purge the world of vice and sin-

Said man stared at the little frightened group with nothing but despise in his cold blue eyes, eyes that denoted a long and dreadful past pursuing and fighting against this kind of monstrosities.

(Kyrie Eleison)
-And he saw corruption everywhere except within-

"Bring these undead vermin to the palace of justice for their immediate execution" Redfield ordered with a calculating voice.

"You there, what are you hiding?" A soldier asked roughly to the woman, trying to despoil her from her package. The sudden struggle did little to amuse Chris.

"Food supplies, no doubt. Take them from her" Decreed the merciless judge.

-She ran-

The undead maiden made her way away from their captors as fast as she could, with nothing to guide her but the instinct to survive. Chris wasn't willing to let the presumptuous zombie to escape and spread its pestilence, not again, not ever. He immediately ran after her with such a fierce impulse to tear her to crumbs that could be read in his eyes, leaving behind his team to take charge of the other monstrosities.

(Dies irae, dies irae)
(Solvet saeclum in favila)
(Teste David cum sibyla)
(Quantus tremor es futurus)
(Quando Judex est venturus)

As she was a little lighter, she had less problem maneuvering along the streets to avoid her captor, but the cruel and bitter soldier wasn't willing to give up that easy. They ran into a lonely and frozen alleyway where she was able to jump over a fence, just by instinct, and escape, at least temporarily from her prosecutor.

Chris slipped in the frozen ground beneath them, almost crashing with said fence as he tried to stop, he recuperated his equilibrium quickly, and looked trough the fence how his victim was effectively getting away from him. He growled with despise and frustration, and slammed his right fist into the impeding bars. He clenched his jaw tightly. Just in that instant, he promised himself he wouldn't let that despiteful being get away. He stood up, and quickly turned his way to get her, guessing the only place she would end up in.

The zombie lady continued trough the cold path, getting near the principal portal, he rested some of his weight in one of the huge doors and started to plea.
"Refuge, please give us some refuge!" Cried the woman with a desperate affair, hitting the thick wooden door with his free fist, the other hand guarding frantically her little package.

The sudden crunches in the snow alerted her of the presence of somebody else in the proximities. Her mind hoping from help made her turned back immediately. She gasped in fear as she locked eyes with the man that was willing to capture and execute her just moments ago, the cold air of winter agitating his short brown hair giving the impression of hellish flames, yet his eyes were the color and mood of ice.

This man had some odd duality in his emotions, maybe in the current situation she could have some word with him, explaining, hoping that he would understand. Yet he raised a shotgun with just one of his hands, aiming at her, cold hatred in his eyes indicating there was no hope for negotiation or asking for mercy.

She stepped back, totally frightened, nodding a continuous and slow "no" with her head. He stepped forward, and glanced at the little pack she was holding. She noted it, and embraced it protectively with both hands. Redfield frowned, quickly extending his free hand to grab the zombie's cache.

She struggled frenetically, yet her strength was no match for the judge's, he just had to kick her away, securing the pack, embracing it with his arm. She fell on the frozen ground, immediately she tilted up her head at the minister, extending one arm to try and take back her pack, begging at him for it with only her foggy eyes.

The only thing she received was that he aimed his deadly weapon directly at her head. The last thing she ever saw, were those cold eyes, she would want to cry imagining the destiny of the little bundle, yet she hadn't the opportunity, as a dry single shot took her life away, splattering her brains on the cold soil, painting the snow red.

Chris lowered his gun, just taking a glance of the corpse, accommodating his weapon in his back, embedding it in the secures of his vest. He inspected the package, removing little of the cloth it was wrapped in to reveal its containing. He would have expected a severed hand, brains or even guts; that would not had surprised him as it did the little living thing inside the pack.

"A baby?" He murmured confused, staring directly at the infant's face, just then, the little one opened his eyes, revealing a pale silver sympathetic eyes. Chris would had felt some pity, even regret, if those eyes weren't revealing the devilish nature of the infant. "A monster!" He said with repugnance.

He instantly unsheathed his combat knife from the side of his belt and raised it right above the little baby in his embrace, ready to execute him in one swift movement, no cries, no noise.

"Stop!"

-Cried a not-so-random character-

Redfield reluctantly looked at the voice that had just dissuaded him from executing his duty. A young, beautiful brunette woman clad in blue, the other one that had survived 'the incident', the only remaining part of his original team –Beside him, and another one whose name he had no wish to remember or even bringing back to his mind-.

"This is an unholy demon" He justified upon Miss Valentine "I'm sending it back to hell, where it belongs"

She glanced at the mauled corpse with pity and mercy in her blue eyes, then looking up to her partner's eyes with serene anger, pointing at his bloody work.
"See there the innocent blood you have spilt. On the steps of Xombieland"

"I am guiltless. She was dead anyway" Chris scolded lowly.

"Now you would add this child's blood to your guilt. On the steps of Xombieland" She continued. He couldn't believe she was absolutely taking pity on some monstrosity, like the ones that had eliminated the other members of the team, their friends.

"My conscience is clear" He growled, his fingers tightening in the grip of his knife.

"You can lie to yourself and your minions. Play avenger all that you want. But you never can run from nor hide what you've done from the eyes… the very eyes of Xombieland"

(Kyrie Eleison)

Chris looked up to the dark building, the cold wind still agitating his hair, then to the blue eyes of his merciful partner, that was looking at him with cold patience.

-And for one time in his live of justice and valor-

(Kyrie Eleison)

-Redfield felt a twinge of guilt for his heartless work-

"What must I do?" Chris Asked with a serene voice.

"Spare the child, and find for him a home" She suggested kindly.

"What? I'd be responsible for this malevolence ..?" He growled, but his anger was instantly calmed by the tender sight of Miss Valentine's pure and valiant eyes. "Very well. But I'll be sending him far away so he doesn't cause me any trouble…yet…"

"Far away? Where?"
"Anywhere" He said, lowering his voice "Just so he's kept gone and safe where no one could find him…New York, perhaps, and who knows, our Lord works in mysterious ways" He paused to look at the little infant with more mercy, even daring to smile in a tender way that Jill hadn't saw in his partner for a while "Even this foul creature may yet prove one day to be worthy to live"

-And Redfield gave the child a weighty name. A name that means protector of mankind…Alexander-

--FlashBack ends-

"Now here is a riddle to guess if you can, sing the yelps of Xombieland" Irving said with a glad tone at his listener, directing the rhyme as he stood up, receiving the full light of the sun "Who is the monster and who is the man?"

He patted the little one in the head, or at least he managed to reach his little purple hat.

"Come on" Irving invited to join him in the last part of the recital. The little one accepted ipso facto, standing up, inhaling deeply.

"Sing the yelps, yelps, yelps, yelps.
Yelps, yelps, yelps, yelps
Yelps of Xombieland"

Both of them ended up the singing, contemplating the sunrise, as the creatures around them continued their bloody feast under the permission of the mysterious Viral King.