Chapter 4: Facing Facts

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry it's been so long, guys! Thank you for your patience. I probably won't be updating this too often, but don't worry, I haven't stopped working on it altogether. Also, I'll probably move this into the Blue Dragon section under Games soon, so just a heads up. AND, as always with this story, NO copyright infringement intended!**

Twilight found Jiro sitting in the small clearing Zola had located near the abandoned Grankingdom outpost, a pencil and notebook in his lap. Marumaro and Shu had gone off to collect firewood, and Bouquet had announced to everyone in earshot that she was absolutely sick of being dirty and desperately needed to take a bath, leading her to march off dramatically to a nearby stream. Not that anyone had paid much notice. Zola and Legolas stood just beyond the edge of the clearing, arguing in hushed whispers steadily increasing in volume, about their next course of action. Or more likely Legolas thinks he's found a flaw in Zola's logic and wants to force her to take his irrational advice, thought Jiro.

Jiro, for his part, was supposed to be taking inventory of their travelling packs, but from the corner of his eye he watched Kluke prepare their dinner. Shu often complained about the quality of Kluke's cooking, but Jiro had never noticed anything wrong with it. Mildly spicy perhaps, but he liked his food that way. It reminded him of home and his mother's fondness for red chili paste...

Stupid guy's just way too picky, he thought to distract himself.

With chagrin, he remembered he too had once criticized Kluke for making meals that were too fancy, telling her that they travelled light and fast, and that since they never knew when they would be attacked, they had no time to waste on unnecessary extravagance.

"What do you mean? Anything worth doing is worth doing the best you can, right?" she had replied, shocked.

Knowing Kluke better now, Jiro realized she had taken so much care with her cooking not only because it was in her nature to want to make people happy, but because without a shadow at the time, she had hated feeling like a burden to the team.

At that moment however, he noticed a slight crease in her brow, a sure sign something was bothering her. Rather than ask her straight out what was on her mind, which he would do if it were Shu, Jiro thought distracting her might work better.

"Anything I can do to help, Kluke?" He gestured at the cooking pot.

Jolted out of her thoughts, she glanced at him, surprised at his uncharacteristic concern, but she smiled. "No, but thanks for offering, Jiro."

"Of course… smells good. What are you making?" he asked, determined to keep her talking.

"Oh, nothing special. It's just a beef stew I learned how to make from my mom. It was her specialty…" Her voice turned sad as she trailed off.

Silence reigned for a second, before Jiro broke it.

"It sounds like you miss her," he said, his voice somewhat strained. It had been a long time since he had wanted or felt it necessary to inquire after anyone's personal life, and he found himself out of practice.

"I do. A lot. I've never been away from home this long befo—," she cut herself off abruptly, realizing the sensitive turn their conversation had taken. Home… and family. Poor Jiro. I don't want to cause him any more emotional discomfort than what he's sure to be feeling already after what's transpired recently. "I'm sorry," she said, abashed. "We don't have to talk about this. I'd understand if you don't want to."

"No, it's fine," he told her. I have to be in control of my emotions if I want to be able to cheer her up, he told himself firmly, not break down again and have her comfort me. That wouldn't be fair to her.

After a beat of hesitation he admitted, "You know that time we were by the river, right before we breached Nene's fortress? Well, when I told you what was bothering me, it was… well, it brought me some relief." Not much, his inner voice commented bitterly, but he quickly shut it up. "Perhaps it would be the same for you."

If Kluke was surprised by his confession, she didn't show it. Stirring the cooking pot absentmindedly, she nodded, her expression thoughtful. "Well if you're sure..." She glanced at him, as if expecting him to take back his consent.

Jiro's expression remained impassive, neither encouraging, nor forbidding.

Kluke swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. Collecting herself she continued. "Well… like I said earlier, this is the first time I've been away from home for this long. I mean, even though I'm old enough now to be going off on my own, I've never really ventured that far from Talta Village because… see, I live—lived—", she corrected herself, "with my mom and she's never had the best of health." She felt his unspoken question, and after a short hesitation, she looked down at her hands and revealed, "My father's gone."

"Gone?" Jiro repeated without thinking.

A second later he grimaced internally at his insensitivity but Kluke didn't seem to have minded.

"Yes. I mean, well, in the sense that he wasn't around while I was growing up. In fact, he and my mom were never married, and they had me while they were still quite young."

Kluke's cheeks burned in shame at this confession.

"All my mom ever told me about him was that he was from Talta and she was from another village a little whiles away, and that they'd met one day while she'd been visiting his village. And that he'd lived with us for a couple years after I was born. She said we'd been happy all together, but then that… certain circumstances had changed so that he was no longer able to stay with us." Kluke paused.

Lowering her voice, she continued, "For the longest time, I thought she meant their relationship had gone sour, so he'd left us… but then I finally found out that wasn't the case. When I asked about it, my mom told me they had loved each other just as much as ever, but that he'd had to go for 'reasons beyond his control'. She never explained more than that. So I've been pondering her words ever since…"

Silent, Jiro watched her expression twist into one of long-held sorrow, unsure of what to say. It suddenly dawned on him that maybe he wasn't the only one who had a troubled past. His whole family might be gone now, but at least when they were alive they had been as loving and supportive as could be, always there for him.

"I suppose no one's life is perfect, is it?" he thought out loud to himself softly.

Kluke was still staring intently at her hands, as if looking for an answer hidden in the creases of her palms. After a moment however, she continued, her expression slowly brightening.

"But even when everyone else in Talta judged us, calling my mom an outsider, and none of the other girls my age wanted anything to do with me, Shu befriended me. He was the first friend I ever had. And the best."

Jiro twitched at this piece of news, seemingly in irritation, but he didn't interrupt.

"Later I met his three other friends. Guys. I think you've seen them… do you remember the day we met in Talta Village? The day Shu was trying to find a Knight Master?"

"Right. Wasn't that the day Shu tried to take a bat to anyone who looked remotely capable of defending themselves?"

"Yeah. And you've put yourself into that category I see," Kluke remarked wryly.

Jiro laughed. It was a carefree sound, without any hint of the tension or reserve Kluke was so used to hearing in his voice, and it was the first time Kluke could ever remember hearing it. In her peripheral vision, she thought she saw Zola's head turn slightly towards them.

And just as quickly as it arrived, Jiro's amusement faded. "I'm not though," he told her quietly, his face a mask of emotion once more. Try as he might for her sake, he couldn't repress the bitterness he felt.

"Not what?" she asked, confused.

"Not capable of defending myself. Or anyone else for that matter."

"Jiro…"

"No, it's true! I'm too weak. And that's why I wasn't able to defeat Nene, why I wasn't able to protect my village… why I wasn't able to save my family."

The words came out slightly strangled, as he tried and failed to suppress the pain in his voice.

Distantly he realized he was talking to Kluke about his past again. What is it about this girl? Why does she have to be so easy to talk to? I just can't seem to keep my mouth shut around her.

He laughed once, without humor this time. "I guess Shu was right. I act like I've got it together, but I really don't. In the end, I'm just a weakling."

Kluke felt like smacking herself on the forehead in annoyance. God, Shu! Really, sometimes you just say the dumbest things at the wrong time!

For a long, tense moment, neither of them spoke. Then, without warning, Kluke got up from beside the cooking pot and walked over to sit on the log beside Jiro.

"Jiro."

He avoided her eyes.

"Jiro, look at me!" she said forcefully.

"What?" he replied, turning towards her, angry and embarrassed at his emotional outburst.

"It wasn't your fault."

Jiro froze. Kluke's olive green eyes locked onto his own stormy blue ones.

"What did you say to me?"

He made a sudden movement to get up, intent on moving as far away from her and her dangerous ideas as possible, but she grabbed his arm and held on gently but firmly. She felt him shaking with repressed emotion.

"No, listen to me! It wasn't your fault. Nene, or your village, or your family. All six of us were useless in our fight against Nene, Zola included, and you know how strong she is. It wasn't anyone's fault, and especially not yours alone. Your village and your family… how can you even think that was your fault? You say you want vengeance for all Nene took away from you, and yet you still hold yourself partly to blame. He's evil, Jiro, plain and simple. And he's also extremely powerful… so as much as you might disagree, I don't know if there was anything you could have done to stop the destruction he's wreaked upon your life," she told him gently.

Jiro snapped. "How would you know that? You weren't even there when he tore my village apart," he accused harshly.

Kluke was silent for a moment. Then: "Maybe not, but I do know a little bit about weakness… not having the power to protect the ones you care about. All this time we've been travelling, up till two days ago, I felt like I was a hindrance to the team, some powerless little girl needing to be protected. I've been watching you, Zola, Shu, and Marumaro fight with your shadows, unable to release my own, stuck helplessly on the sidelines."

Jiro noted her distinct failure to mention Bouquet and Hippo, but said nothing.

"I know it's probably nothing compared to what your situation must have been like, but I do know no matter how brave or how strong they might be, no single person without a shadow can go up against an entire Grankingdom battalion and expect to win. And that's an incontrovertible fact."

Jiro clenched his fists. "But if only I'd been stronger back then, I probably could have released Minotaur for the first time," he argued. "Then I could have protected my village, and everyone who died would still be around today."

"Jiro, don't you think it's about time you stopped blaming yourself? If you think about it, even if you had been able to release Minotaur, would you have had enough control over your power to have had him follow your instructions? I'm not comparing you to Shu, by any means," she added hurriedly, noticing the suddenly blazing contempt in his eyes.

"In any case," Kluke continued softly, "it does no good to try and explain why things happened the way they did. Sometimes there is no good explanation. But, if you have to blame someone, blame Nene, and only Nene. After all, he's a horrible, sadistic creature, with a selfish, unachievable goal. He cares nothing for the people he hurts in the process of getting his way. None of what happened was your fault. Do you understand me?"

Jiro remained silent as Kluke's final words struck home. Slowly, he processed all she had said. Not… my fault?

It was hard to comprehend the idea, and even harder to believe her. Since the event, the only coping mechanism that seemed to dull the pain of his village and family's passing was his letting his anger towards Nene consume him. It was the force that drove him to move on, at least physically, with his life. Yet at the same time, over the years, he'd subconsciously built up layer upon layer of resentment and self-blame. Layers of the most impenetrable stone. Unyielding, and impossible to break.

Jiro opened his mouth, thinking to say something, but the words wouldn't come. Kluke didn't seem to be waiting for an answer though.

Releasing her grip on his arm, she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezed in unspoken support. Then reaching up with her other hand, she carefully brushed away the side-bangs that had fallen onto his forehead, covering his eyes. She pretended to not see the tiny, single drop that had formed at the corner of his right eye.

Jiro gasped quietly to himself at the feel of her fingers. It hadn't been since the death of his family that anyone had touched him simply to comfort him, what with the almost tangible and just as forbidding emotional walls he put up around himself. Even Zola didn't dare to. True, it wasn't like he'd gone completely without physical contact; he'd received blows in shadow battles, but that was a far cry from the deliberate consolation Kluke was offering him now. And he hadn't realized how much he'd missed such affection. Jiro resisted the inexplicable urge to lean into the soft hand now gently stroking his hair.

Looking up at her from under his lashes, Jiro gave Kluke a tentative attempt at a smile. It was barely more than an upturn of his lips, but her answering one was dazzling.

"Better?" she asked.

"Somewhat, I suppose," he replied uncertainly. And even though her words couldn't assuage all the guilt and feelings of failure he still felt, it was true they still brought him a small amount of comfort.

"Good." The spell broken, Kluke removed her hands from his shoulder and hair, moving away. Immediately Jiro missed the contact. Her touch had felt nice and relaxed him a bit.

He sighed.

Kluke raised an eyebrow questioningly but didn't press him when he wasn't forthcoming.

"Well, I should get back to taking inventory," he said, straightening up.

"Right." Kluke bit her lip as she ran a critical eye over him, trying to judge his emotional state.

He noticed. "I'm fine, Kluke."

"Never said you weren't fine," she drawled as she fluttered her eyelashes at him in an exaggerated fashion.

Jiro glanced at her, surprised. Her expression remained serious enough, but her bright eyes danced playfully.

Without thinking, he gave her a small but genuine smile.

She returned it and got up to return to the cooking pot.

Turning back towards his work, Jiro remarked that had never before realized how startlingly green Kluke's eyes were.

**This is my first ever fanfic/ short-story, so I would REALLY appreciate REVIEWS! Tell me what you think (that is, anything I've written that doesn't make sense, any plot development ideas, etc).**