Yeah, this isn't mine. Theme: Seishun ii Janai Ka, from Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, which isn't mine either. Written under the influence of earworms. Post Winter War.

Oh, how Yumichika hated mornings. He had an alarm clock, and a well developed sense of time. She, on the other hand, destroyed her alarm clocks within days, and possibly lived in a time zone that was located in a parallel universe.

Thus, it fell to him to get his captain up and semi-functioning. Zaraki-taicho got up by himself with occasional prodding, Kuchiki-taicho was always on time, but Shihouin would sleep forever if he let her. Not to mention her taste in clothing, which never failed to irk Yumichika. He didn't wander around naked, she shouldn't either.

"Shihouin-taicho, get up!"

"F-iive moore minutes."

He grabbed her futon and tilted it up. She tumbled onto the tatami mats.

"Get dressed and get breakfast," he grumbled. "And for god's sake, get some pajamas. Or I'll order the most awful ones I can find for you."

"Prude."

"I'll get your tea, libertine."

88

Yoruichi brushed her teeth. She was beginning to regret poaching Yumichika from Byakuya-bo. He was turning out to be nothing but trouble. She felt a weird tingle in her mouth.

"Ayasegawa! Did you replace my toothpaste with chili paste? I'm gonna kick your ass into the next century!"

"You're welcome to try it," he called.

Yoruichi grabbed up her zanpakuto and charged into the kitchen. He was so dead.

88

"Split and deviate, Ruiri'iro Kujuku!"

"Shunko!"

He swiped at her with the plumes of his zanpakuto. She sidestepped smartly, jumping up into the air. She came down with a hard kick aimed at his head, but he dodged. She had to shunpo to keep away from the blade. If she let it come into contact with her, this fight was over. So long as she could keep the blade at bay, she was fine.

The rest of the squad was observing their new commanders sparring. No one even thought of interfering.

She blasted a 'Soketsui' at him and he parried, sending the attack back at her. Nice trick, if you can manage it, she thought, evading her own spell. Oh, he was dead.. She brought her own blade up and caught a tendril in it. A hard yank pulled him off balance, and she smiled. She rained blows on him, attacking with fists and feet. Even then, he managed to put up a fight.

88

Saskakibe looked up from his paperwork and scooted his desk away from the window.

"Still at it?" Yamamoto asked. "I wonder what it was this time?"

"Apparently, Shihouin-hime and Ayasegawa have a running argument over her clothing preferences."

Yamamoto grimaced. "They've been at it since early this morning. It's almost noon. I'm beginning to think we should separate them."

Both men winced at the scream of 'bankai!' that echoed from Second.

"Don't worry, they're just having a little fun," Saskakibe said. "Remember how many times I tried to kill you?"

"Five, I believe. I'm sure Ayasegawa will give up before then."

The glass from the window blew in after another loud 'whump' from Second sounded.

88

Byakuya observed the towering smoke cloud over Second. Although he'd been very annoyed when Yoruichi had stolen Yumichika from him, he could now view the matter with proper detachment. Yoruichi deserved every ounce of trouble that she got from Ayasegawa. He was just glad that it wasn't his division that was being reduced to rubble.

"Hey, Byakuya, what are you looking at?" Renji asked. Byakuya didn't correct him, Renji'd more than earned the right to address him as an equal.

"Karma in action. It's beautiful."

I did warn you. As for the title, I believe the third line of the song translates to "in your face/in good taste/ with toothpaste." No, seriously.

Yay! My sense of humor is back. If you're amused, leave a review.