Dear Diary

I couldn't believe what was happening. My brain was over whelmed with too much in such a short period of time. I almost lost Stefan and Damon yesterday, but thanks to Bonnie, their ok. But they wouldn't have been in danger if it wasn't for her to begin with. I also found out that John is my father in the same day….and that Katherine killed him….in my house…pretending to be me.

As I thought about walking into my kitchen the other night I felt a tear roll down my face.

I couldn't believe it, I mean, I never really liked the man. He knew he was my father and was in my life but refused to tell me. But some how finding out he was my dad, then him dying, made it all worse. And the fact that Katherine killed him is the worst of all. Why the hell was she back? What does she want? And what was this going to do to Stefan and Damon? Especially Damon, he was just getting over the fact she wasn't in the tomb.

"I thought I'd find you here" a voice spoke from the forest. I looked up from my journal to see Damon leaning against the tree with one of his smirks spread across his face. I noticed that it didn't quite reach his eyes. I closed the book and turned my body to face him. I've been sitting in the cemetery by my parents grave stone. It probably wasn't smart to be here by myself but I didn't really have the mind to care. And with Katherine back Stefan has been smothering me and I just can't take it. As if reading my mind Damon told me so. He walked over to sit down next to me.

"How did you know I was here?"

"I see you walk here quite often; from there I just needed to find where exactly it is you go." We were silent for a while, just looking out into the trees. I glanced over to him catching him staring at me, when I had to ask.

"How are you doing with this Damon? With her being back?" I felt like I had to know, like I wanted him to console in me how he was feeling for once.

He didn't say anything right away, just looking away from me. Till he finally spoke "You know I thought I kissed you last night… when I left your house, Katherine walked up to me and I thanked her then kissed her. Thinking it was you. I felt so happy on that moment, actually smiling all the way home." He let out a nervous laugh; I've never seen him nervous before. "I felt like I was loved, appreciated…worth something. Things I haven't felt in over 100 years." He was silent again and I couldn't bring myself to say anything. What was I supposed to say? He looked at me then, sadness in his eyes once again. "I've probably never felt that though" he stopped.

"Felt what?" my voice sounded small, like I was afraid of the answer he was going to give. He looked like he was going to cry, I've never seen him so broken before.

"Love, the only woman I loved played me like a flute, and what I thought was real was trash to her. So much so that she let me believe she was either dead or trapped for over a hundred years. To waste so much time looking for her when she never gave a shit about me!" he got up vampire speed during his rant, and then at the end punched a tree. I stood up in surprise. "And when I fucking think I had a moment of something, it was just her toying with my emotions again, in the sickest way possible. I never want to see her again! That bitch can burn in hell for all I care!" he punched the tree again, letting out his anger. He had every right to. I walked behind him, putting my hand on his trembling shoulder. He turned his face to me, locking eyes. "Am I not worth anything?"

I felt another tear go down my cheek as I enveloped him in a hug. He buried his head in my hair "of course, you're worth everything Damon"

He broke away from me after a moment or two, "And here I thought I was the one to do the comforting."

"We all need comforting sometimes, it's only normal." I said; I liked that he finally opened up to me, that he trusted me with what he was going though. I wanted to be there for him, he was my friend after all. He dropped the hug and laughed a little, running his hand though his hair.

"I'm not exactly normal Elena. In case you haven't noticed." He stated back in his cool and collected tone of voice. He noticed the confused looked on my face at his sudden change in mood. "I can turn it off, the feelings. Like a switch, and poof, I don't feel it. Makes me more fun to be around don't you agree? Not exactly normal right?"

"Hey, what do you say we be normal for one night? Just the two of u,s as friends?" he did that thing with his eyes that made him look suggestive. I would lie if I said it didn't make him look mysteriously sexy. He sped so he was right in front of me.

"And what were you suggesting?" he smirked again.

"Oh get your mind out of the gutter Damon" I nudged his shoulder and stepped back.

"My mind was no where near the gutter, but apparently yours was. Naughty." He wagged his finger at me. Making me roll my eyes at him again, I just ignored him.

"I don't know, just a night in I guess. I'm not really up for public yet. And no mention of witches or vampires or Katherine."

"Ok, a night in, just the two of us. How about my place tomorrow night? Around 7? Stefan will be out hunting so it will just be us." he said the last part slowly, as if I didn't understand what 'just the two of us' meant. I felt the need to explain myself.

"Nothing's going to happen between us. It's just going to be quite. And I need some time with just a friend. Stefan is being very closed off form me since she got back and I feel tense around him. It sounds weird but just having fun would be great."

"Sounds good to me. I'll see you tomorrow then." He gave me one last smile and turned to walk out of the cemetery though the trees. Well this should be interesting. I thought to myself as I gathered my journal and pen that were now on the ground. I headed out of the cemetery also so I would be home before dark. I didn't really feel too safe at home though since Katharine had been invited in by Aunt Jenna. Stefan gave me a vervain necklace to give her, so she could be safe from being compelled. I also have one to give one Caroline and bracelet thing for Caroline to give to Matt.

After I found John I called Stefan and he ran the body a town over into the woods. It hasn't been found yet and I'd rather not think of what will happen when it is. In fact I'd rather never think of any of this, but it was like it was inescapable