Okay, quick thing before ya get crackin'. The first chapter was made purely for the lulz. My cousin started ranting as she was playing Kingdom Hearts I, and I made it into this. Don't worry, it turns into a real story by the end. Enjoy~!
Disclaimer: Now really, if I owned these characters there would be lots of Riku and Sora lovin', and no Kairi lovin'.
~~~~TILDE~~~~
Sora wasn't mad. Not at all. He was pissed. He was in a whale, in it's bowels. The only good part was that Riku was here. Then he jumped into a hole in the ground. Sora jumped after him, the only thought in his mind, SEMEEEE!
Just recently he found a portable computer back in Wonderland, and on it was one thing. Get to Know Your Seme. Out of curiousity Sora looked through it all, and took in every word of it. He knew he liked Riku and not Kairi, but what was a seme? He was glued to that portable computer for about two months, not allowing anyone to touch it.
Now he was pissed.
His Riku had just disapeered behind a big slimy monster. Sora was so pissed, he didn't even think about what was happening. The thoughts that whirlwinded through his mind was very different than what one would have expected.
Where did my seme go? I'm a good uke! Get back here and rape me! Goddammit where is Riku? He's supposed to have seduced/raped me by now! You whore! You aren't supposed to care about women, you have me! Women are evil! Why do you think the head of the evil council is a girl? I'm trying to save the world for you, and you don't even care! Yup, and I just carry my keyblade around all day long...and what do you do? Hustle with women...I run around all day long, swing my keyblade..stick thing around and wonder where the SHMUCK you are! What do you think about? Kairi Kairi Kairi! How can my Seme be so... so bull headed? I try so hard to find him and all he thinks about is that... NAPPY HAIRED NINNY! I~ AM THE ONE WHO RECOGNISED HIM! I'm the one who keeps coming back! And for what? Stupid seme... Why do I have to put out all the effort it he isn't even going to PUT OUT? I'M A GOOD UKE! OKAY? I'M AWESOME TOO! HELL, I'M THE SHMEX! Wanna know how I know this? Leon said so! An you know what? I TURNED HIM DOWN! how do you like them apples? Hell, I even asked Cloud for HELP, not 'LALA TIME'! HELP!
The monster was finally beaten, and the stomach started to collapse. "Riku? Riku!"
Donald and Goofy got Sora to leave before he was covered in whale guts, and Sora was ranting again. In his mind of course. He could be as angry as he wanted in the sanctity of his own mind. See, I even sat in the stomach, while it's collasping, calling to you! And do you hear me? No.I just realized, I WENT INTO A WHALES BOWELS FOR YOU! AND WHAT DO YOU DO, YOU TAKE THE PUPPET! THE PUPPET! TAKE ME!
Sure, you were there for a little while, but only for a little while..He sniffled mentally. I'm a good uke dammit...
Sora could see a blue trinity where he couldn't reach it. I want the blue trinity dammit. I WOULDN'T WANT THE TRINITY SO BAD IF MY SEME HAD DONE HIS F-KING JOB! LITERALLY, HIS F-KING JOB! AAHHH!
The boy wanted a way to vent out all this frustration. "Hey Donald, Goofy, can we go back to Traverse Town for the night? I wanna sleep in peace.." They agreed anf headed off to where they started when Sora's world first was destroyed. His and Riku's world.
Frustration rioted throughout the inner confines of his mind. Stupid seme...Couldn't you just man up for ONCE? Dammit all Riku, just stop dicking around with all your lameness and dick around with MEEEE! Staring up, as the Gummi ship was hurled throughout space, Sora frowned in frustration at the sight which would have normally brought a smile to his lips, You know I bet if Riku was here, HE WOULDN'T EVEN NOTICE ALL THE PRETTY COLORS! Thinking about Kairi again...
Sora was blowing up everything he saw, and being quite reckless about it too. Goofy and Donald were hanging on the the edges for support. See, all these ships could've been spared if you had payed a liiittle more atteention
I'm not just some woman you know!
I'm your uke! ...Yours...
"Sora! Stop messing around a drive right!"
"No!" UKE IS PIIIISSSEEDD!
Donald was shocked to say the least. Sora had never really flat out yelled at him. The king's suboordinates left him alone the rest of the trip.
They got to Traverse town and paid for rooms for each of them. Sora got the red room and The other two got the green room. "G'night you two." The keyblade master didn't even look at the two of them as he bid them a good nights rest, or a great days work... His mind was far too consumed in the tumultuous exasperation of the day he had. He headed off to his room and once he got there he locked the door, changed, and bundled up in a little ball in his bed.
His eyes started to well over, and he didn't bother to wipe them away."Stinking..g-good for nothin'.." He rubbed his eyes. "Stupid Riku..."
~~~~TILDE~~~~
Well~? Did you laugh? Did you get all sad at the end? I hope you did 'cause now it's over. Now we gets to the cute n' smexyness a these two~
Ja ne~