Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Nurse Deidara

Bring! Bring!

My ears perk up at the sound of the bell, signaling the end of the class. I frown slightly at the retreating forms of Hayate and Akihiro as they just left their stringed instruments as in on their stands. Kami, even the amps were still on! The amps hummed at the static that would normally disappear when in use.

Blasphemy!

I take a few more moments to tend to their abandoned instruments, as well as tending to my own, lovingly unplugging the jacks from the guitars that connected to the amplifiers like they were the umbilical cords connecting to my own children. I coil the wires into donuts as I scan the area for an appropriate place to, um, place them.

I decide to leave them on their respective amps for more convenience. Hopefully, the kids who'll be using these next will catch on and keep the wires properly after use.

I switch the amps off, vaguely aware of the time that's lapsed. Kami, hope I don't get late for English class. It's pretty barren here now—

Thud!

The wind is suddenly knocked out of me as I'm slammed into one of the amps. I immediately regain my posture and glare at Hikaru, the annoying piece of sh*t.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I sputter, giving her a funny look as she scowls at me.

She did that (retarded) neck-roll gesture with a neatly manicured index finger raised up in a disciplinary manner. "Nuh-uh! What the hell do you think you're doing?! You think I don't know what you're trying to do? I know exactly what you're trying to do!"

What the hell? Is she on drugs?

"Hikaru, for the love of Kami, do please enlighten me of what I'm 'trying' to do." I bit back, rolling my eyes at the sheer idiocy of the situation, let alone the airhead in front of me. Had she not learnt her 'lesson' from the last time we crossed paths? Do I need to break her nose… again?!

Really, Hikaru.

She points an accusatory finger at me, jabbing at my chest. "You're trying to steal my Deidara-kun away from me! I can see right through you, you pathetic needy slut! Pretending you don't like him, just so you can get him interested in you!"

I slap her hand away, stifling a maniacal laugh. She is on drugs. Haha, what the actual f*ck. Instead, I narrow my eyes at her. "You're insane. If you want him so bad, then go a-f*cking-head— I'm not stopping you, so just leave me the hell alone,"

She shakes her head. "I've been waiting forever to do this… I thought I could wait until after school, but I just— I couldn't wait any longer,"

Hikaru pulls out a pair of freaking brass knuckles out of her blazer pockets, already on her fists. Her artificially purple eyes gleamed with malice (insanity) as a creepy grin that showed too many teeth than needed crossed her features.

I crack my knuckles.

F*ck my life.

Meanwhile…

Deidara leant against the row of lockers by the door of the music room, glaring at the sea of people streaming into the hall, even though they did nothing to him. He was pretty much just that pissed.

He was waiting for a certain redheaded dork to exit the room so he could call her out on her bullsh*t claims of that other redhead only being a 'friend'. Irony is, he's got quite the number of Busty Girls with benefits himself. They weren't friends; they weren't even acquaintances.

They were just… Busty Girls.

Deidara, you hypocritical little sh*t.

Why isn't she coming out yet, hmm? He thought to himself. Freshmen brats started to stream into the room for their music class.

"Holy sh*t! Hachirou, get a teacher, quick!"

"No way, and miss this?!"

Well, that certainly caught the Iwa native's attention. He shoved his hands into his pockets and cleared his throat as he made his way into the room, the aforementioned freshmen brats automatically partitioning a path for him like the Red Sea.

"What's going on here, un—" the blond trailed off, seeing two girls in the midst of having a full-out wrestling match on the floor.

Normally, he would kind of find this a turn on, especially if they were clad in skimpy bikinis. But this time, it alarmed him more than it aroused him upon seeing the subdued brunette throwing badly aimed punches at a redhead using the aid of brass knuckles.

Said redhead began to pummel her fists into the brunette's face, hoarsely yelling, "Come at me, b*tch! Even with brass knuckles, you still can't do sh*t with them, you asshole!"

Before Deidara could even register it, he wrapped his arms around Tomomi's waist and hoisted her off Hikaru (who was screaming bloody murder). As soon as the weight was lifted off the latter's being, she stood up and threw a punch at the redhead's cheek. Tomomi began thrashing against Deidara's restraints, since he practically kept her in place so she could be sucker punched in the Kami-damned face.

"Let me go!" She screeched,

"How does that feel like, you desperate whore?!"

"Says the b*tch punching me with brass knuckles!"

Seconds later, two freshmen boys began restraining Hikaru and pulling her away from Tomomi.

They're both badly beaten up, but Hikaru seemed to get the brunt of the damage. The absent music teacher storms in and begins yelling incoherently at the two.

A smug smile crosses Hikaru's face as she lets go of the bloody brass knuckles, leaving them to fall on the floor with a loud, resounding clatter.

Tomomi's POV

I clutch my aching jaw, trying to shrug Deidara's arms around me off. I can't believe he f*cking held me back! He held me back! And I got punched in the face because of it!

My cheek began to throb painfully. Kami, I can feel it swelling. It hurts like hell.

The music teacher stumbles in the classroom, demanding the cause of the commotion. He smells like bourbon liquor.

Almost immediately, the adrenaline I felt left my body and replaced itself with a feeling of embarrassment and shame. How could I let someone just get to me like that?

Yeah, sure, she attacked me first.

Yeah, sure, I did it out of self-defense.

But why do I have to get myself into trouble for people who aren't even worth it?

Nothing good ever comes out of violence. Well, unless you were in a mosh pit. It's a good time for everyone then.

And, for the first time that morning, the blond idiot actually speaks to me. "Tomomi, you alright, un?" He queries, his voice uncharacteristically… gentle.

I struggle out of his grasp, miffed at the fact that he practically let me get punched in the face with freaking brass knuckles. "Let me go," I growl out, narrowing my eyes.

"What in Kami's name is going on here?!" Principal Tsunade thunders, striding into the room which had grown quiet with tense anxiousness.

"She started it!" Hikaru and I yell out in unison, one pointing accusatory fingers at the other.

Principal Tsunade's amber eyes narrow dangerously. "You two, in my office, right now." She eyes the freshman restraining Hikaru. "You come along, too. Make sure they don't kill each other on the way to my office."

"C'mon, Tomomi," Deidara whispers in my ear as he tugs me along and out of the room.

"I'm going to miss my English class," I darkly mumble, guilt settling into my conscience.

"Don't worry, yeah! You're in the Akatsuki— they'll let you off easy, hmm,"

Yeah, well, I won't let me off easy.

We walk out of the room full of freshmen awkwardly staring at us. I feel so ashamed.

I bite my bottom lip as tears poke the back of my eyes. Why do I keep on humiliating myself? Here I am in a new school with a fresh start. Then I go and screw it all up by acting like a neurotic, terse, and impulsive b*tch.

All I originally intended to do was blend in the background! Hell, I didn't mind the prospect of being wallpaper— I still don't! Where has all the normalcy in my life gone?! Ah, sh*t. What if this is the new standard of normalcy for me? What now?!

Kami, I must look hideous right now. Hope the bruising isn't that bad.

I cover the side of my face as I focus my gaze towards the floor, vaguely aware of Deidara's hand on the small of my back.

Dammit, I need a hug.

Where's Konan (or Gaara) when I need her?

I inwardly sigh. Of course, she's got her own classes.

Maybe Karin? Duh, she has her own classes too.

I momentarily take a moment to b*tch-slap (Sharkeisha) myself for all the stupidity I've caused ever since I've gotten to Konoha Academy.

I haven't seen either of them at all this morning, come to think of it.

I break away from my thoughts as Principal Tsunade ushers us into the office, freshmen and Deidara included.

She takes her seat on the plush burgundy leather swivel armchair and rests her elbows on the aged mahogany desk, fingers laced together. Her amber eyes flicker over to one of the freshmen, "You, Kobayashi; explain,"

The freshman's face immediately begins to flush as a drop of sweat makes his way down his forehead. It's kinda funny because Hikaru and I are the ones in trouble, but he's making it seem like she's interrogating him using torture. Then again, it's kinda not funny, just for that same reason.

"W-Well, when Kenji and I-I w-w-went into— uh, in the—"

"The music room?" Kenji nonchalantly supplied.

"Yeah, the m-music room, we, uh,"

"Saw the two of them fighting?" He supplied again.

I held back a snicker. Now is not the time for snickering.

"We s-saw the two, uh, yeah… So Deidara-senpai c-came in and, uh…"

"Came in and pulled Tomomi-san away?"

Senpai, eh? And how does he know my name?

"Yes, th-that's e-e-exactly what happened! And then Kenji and I-I, we…"

"Pulled the other girl away?"

"Hey! My name is Hikaru, you sniveling little brats!" It speaks up, glaring at the two.

"Shut up," I mumble, rolling my eyes.

"What did you say?" She snarls, focusing her narrowed faux-purple eyes at me. I sneer at her, curling my fists into tight balls of pure fury.

"Enough!" Principal Tsunade interjects, just as I open my mouth to retort. Just as she was going to continue speaking, there were several knocks on the door.

"Come in," she calls out.

Clack.

Shizune-san strides in the room, shooting a sharp look in Hikaru's direction before slamming down a pair of brass knuckles on Principal Tsunade's desk. "Hikaru forgot these in the music room."

Principal Tsunade rolls her eyes, pressing the bridge of her nose together between her index finger and her thumb. "Rule number three in the Konoha Academy student's handbook: all students and faculty in Konoha Academy are strictly prohibited from bringing deadly weapons such as knives, blades, guns, and other things that are sharp and fatal. Jeez, it's like a huge f*cking 'NO SH*T' in all-caps!" She growled out, face-palming herself.

"And you really planned to assault a student— a new one at that— because of this dipsh*t?!" She waves her free arm frantically at Deidara.

I inadvertently snort, prompting me to bite my bottom lip lest I burst out laughing.

"H-Hey!" Deidara argues with his face flushing beet red, his hand leaving my back so he could defiantly cross his arms over his chest. "I'm no dipsh*t, yeah!"

Principal Tsunade slams her palms down on her desk, shuddering. "Look at you; you're like a freaking Barbie™ doll that got a body switch with Ken."

Before I could even stop myself, I start to guffaw like a madman. I immediately regret my foolish decision as my cheek begins to throb in pain, prompting me to wince. My hand brushes up to the tender flesh as Principal Tsunade slowly shakes her head at us.

"Shizune, tend to Hikaru at the east wing infirmary. Deidara, take Tomomi to the west wing infirmary. Shizune will come by after treating Hikaru so she can tend to Tomomi next. Hikaru, after Shizune is done with you, come back to see me. Or else," she ordered, ominously growling out that last part.

She glances over at the (cowering) freshmen, "You two; get back to class."

They immediately nod and make a break for it.

I sigh. Hikaru stamps her feet on the ground, whining, "Why can't Deidara-kun take me instead?!"

"Because," Principal Tsunade reasons, narrowing her eyes. Hikaru harrumphs and storms out of the office. Shizune-san rolls her eyes and follows the wench out.

"Really, Tomomi; tell me what happened. And don't even try fabricating anything, because I'll know if you do."

I shrug my shoulders, "I was just keeping the wires for the amps in the music room when Hikaru suddenly shoved me into the amp. Then she started threatening me, and she eventually pulled this pair of brass knuckles out. That's when our fight really began, I guess. I don't like her very much."

"Same," she mumbles, sighing. "I need a shot."

After several seconds of silence, she glances up at us. "The hell are you two waiting for? Go!"

"Aren't I in trouble?" I sheepishly ask.

She slowly shook her head. "It was self-defense. What she did was definitely uncalled for." She then looked at me and winced. "You should probably head over to the infirmary. The west wing. After that, come back to the office after lunch. I'll talk to you further then."

I nod before taking my leave.

Deidara and I walk down the empty corridors, a nerve-wracking silence hung between us.

"You should probably head to class," I mumble. "I'll manage on my own."

"Nope, I'm not leaving you, hmm," he declares, turning to face me with a cheeky grin on his face.

"…And why the f*ck not?"

"In the wise words of Principal Tsunade, un: 'Because',"

I shook my head disapprovingly. After what's transpired, would I want the cause of my suffering; the bane of my existence coming with me to the clinic? LOL, NO. He's the reason this happened to me. It's all because of him.

"Deidara, just leave," I growl out, hurrying my pace out of my ever-growing fury.

He stubbornly crosses his arms, "No, I'm not leaving you and nothing you'll say will ever make me, yeah!"

I breathe in sharply at his statement, focusing my gaze at my feet. Now is not the time to ponder upon double-meanings when he's clearly saying that he won't leave me because he wants to make my life a living purgatory. Only when I glance up, do I realize that I've nearly walked past the clinic. I whip myself around and see Deidara leaning against the door, a smug look on his face.

A frown crosses my features as he opens the door for me, motioning me in. I stand at the door and do the same, giving him a pleasantly bitter smile, "Ladies first,"

He scowls at me. "Hmph. Just get in the Kami-damned room, un,"

"I observe that milady doth not wish to go first. I hear and I obey, oh mighty he-Barbie," I drawl, shuffling in the room that smelled of antiseptic. He grunted in response as he shut the door behind us.

I sit on one of the ridiculously hard cots, heaving a sigh. Deidara walks over and takes a seat beside me, narrowing his icy blue eye at me slightly.

The hell is his problem?

"The hell is your pro—" just as I'm about to query him something, he suddenly cups my swollen cheek and leans in to stare at it. I gasp at how close he is; I can feel his breath lingering on my cheek. His hand brushes over a rather sensitive spot, prompting me to wince. "Ow."

"Sorry," he absently mutters, shifting closer to me on the bed. "Does it hurt?"

I chuckle darkly, "What do you think? Of course it hurts. Wait, it looks bad, doesn't it?"

After several seconds with no response, I repeat my question, just on the slight chance he didn't hear me the first time. "It looks bad, doesn't it?"

I huff in exasperation and get up to make my way to the mirror overhead the sink in the far end of the white-walled room.

"Tomomi, don't—"

Too late.

My jaw drops at my reflection, as well as my heart. It sinks into the pit of my stomach as I try and take in what Hikaru's done to me. Half my face is swollen in shades of sickly yellow and bluish purple; the rest of my face has a few small cuts from when I couldn't avoid the wench's flailing fists in time.

My breathing becomes shallow and begins to quicken. To put it bluntly, I'm in shock. Kami, I can feel my hands shaking. I clumsily reach out for the rim of the sink to support myself, feeling the waterworks come already.

"Sh*t," I hear Deidara curse under his breath.

"This," I whisper, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. "This is all your fault."

I hurriedly press a hand against my eyes, willing for the tears to go away. Last thing I needed was for Deidara to start making fun of me for crying because 'I was too feeble and weak'.

Yeah, well, the Busty Girl had a pair of brass knuckles! Give me a f*cking break. I couldn't dodge those punches all of the time, as much as I obviously wanted to. And this f*ckery wouldn't have happened if Hikaru didn't get all psycho-b*tch protective over her 'Deidara-kun'. If he just left me alone, I wouldn't have had to suffer her 'wrath'. And he held me back. I can't— I can't take it anymore.

Before I can even help it, a strangled sob escapes my lips as I tighten my grip on the sink. Kami, I feel and look hideous.

Why?

Why me?

And that asshole Deidara's just sitting there. Kami, why can't he just leave?! He's already brought me here; that was the only thing he needed to do! Even without his 'help', I could've gotten to the clinic just dandy.

"And how the hell is it my fault, yeah?"

I whip around to face him, emerald eyes narrowing. "Whose f*ck buddy was it? Who decided to drop her like a hot potato? Who inadvertently made her go psychotic b*tch-fiend and jump me?! Who is the one who f*cking held me back, so she could punch me in the face?! You dick!"

His icy blue eyes widen a fraction at my outburst.

"F*ck off, Deidara. Now go away. Hikaru's probably plotting my demise again," I hiss out, tears already streaming down my face. I turn away from him to wipe them away.

I stiffen once I feel a pair of arms wrap themselves around my waist from behind. Deidara rests his chin on my shoulder, trying to hush me. "I didn't mean for you to get hurt, un," he mumbles.

"That's a funny joke," I manage to choke out, squirming in discomfort.

He presses his cheek against mine, prompting my heart to skip a beat. What the…

"I'm serious, yeah," he purrs (purrs?), sending shivers down my spine.

I flush, prying his arms off, "Go away,"

He pulls away, pouting at me. "I remember a time when you used to have better comebacks than this, hmm,"

My eyes narrow, "I'm getting real tired of your sh*t, Deidara,"

"That's the spirit!" Deidara jokes, grinning at me. His grin falters into a grimace once he notices I'm not laughing or snickering along with him. "I'm only trying to make you laugh, un," he reasons, tilting his head to the side.

I sigh. "Yeah, I got that."

He seems lost in thought for a few moments before he suddenly shakes his head and grabs my hand. "C'mon; I'll take a look at your bruise, yeah. Shizune's taking forever,"

I awkwardly nod as he tugs me along onto one of the cots.

He shuffles over to one of the stainless steel counters on one side of the room and fusses over something. I pick at a seam on my polyester-cotton-blend plaid skirt before pulling my phone out of my blazer pocket.

I hurriedly wipe away any stray tears with my free hand so I could see clearly. With the press of a button, the screen lights up, notifying me of eight text messages; three from Gaara, five from Temari. I sigh, opening Temari's up first.

Tem-chaaaan: Ooh la laa ;)

Tem-chaaaan: don't be a fool, wrap ur tool

Tem-chaaaan: don't be silly, protect ur willie

Tem-chaaaan: no glove, no love :c

Tem-chaaaan: don't be a loner, cover that boner :3 I'll google the rest later~

…Holy crap.

I cover my face, which is growing red from embarrassment. I don't even have a penis!

Albeit flustered, I immediately type out a reply.

Me: wtf is wrong with u

Within seconds, I got a response.

Tem-chaaaan: ;) wouldn't want to become an aunt so soon, now would I?

Me: Omk Temari srsly?

Me: Am I the only one who's at the receiving end of this?

Tem-chaaaan: Nope! Gaara hasn't replied yet though :c

I sigh, running my free hand through my hair. I can't even imagine the kind of horrors that are running rampant through Temari's mind at the moment.

Me: jhvsdjfhajkfhsjkfhsdk GOOD

I glance up and see Deidara searching for something in the medicine cabinets of the clinic before glancing back down at my phone so I could see Gaara's texts.

Gaara: I miss you already.

Gaara: Temari's been sending me these creepy slogans during class.

Gaara: Are you getting random condom slogans too? Kami, Temari sometimes. Also, I miss you.

My stomach does somersaults as I suppress a shriek from escaping my lips.

Me: Aww, I miss you too~

Me: And yeah, she's bombarded me with them lol

Deidara sits beside me on the bed, prompting me to tuck my phone back into my pocket. He tucks a lock of fiery red hair behind my ear and just… stares at me. My heart begins to race out of sheer nervousness. Why's he being so quiet?

I avert his gaze and stare straight ahead. My fists inconspicuously curl up into fists just in case he tries to kill me.

Yes, I still remember the weird ass dream I had this morning.

There's this gut feeling in me that's telling me something weird is up— or will be up. So if he tries anything, that'll be another person I'll have socked in the face today. New personal record.

"She punched you hard, yeah," Deidara stated the most obvious thing ever.

"No sh*t, Sherlock. You let her punch me," I grumbled, sighing. "Are you just gonna sit there and stare at me or—"

He presses an icepack against my cheek, prompting me to wince.

"A little heads-up would've been nice. Like when you held me back so Hikaru could punch me. That wasn't really great of a surprise," I bitterly spat out, a mocking smile on my face.

Deidara presses the ice-pack a little harder against my cheek. "Ow! Hey!"

"Jeez, I'm sorry already, un! Now drop it, hmm! I didn't mean to get you punched in the Kami-damned face, alright?"

I huff, crossing my arms over my chest. "Oh, really, you expect me to drop something like that? It wasn't bullying, it was more like attempted freaking murder. All because of you!"

"So what? Yeah, so I may have been the reason why this happened, but I had nothing to do with this, yeah. It's like you're blaming the Titanic for sinking instead of the iceberg that sank it, un."

I pore over that for a moment before admitting defeat, "Touché,"

With his free hand, he gives me two painkillers and a glass of water. I mumble my thanks before taking it from him and downing the pills with the water. I hand the glass back to him, crossing my arms over my chest and making myself more comfortable on the cot. Well, as comfortable as I can be on something as stiff and uncomfortable as this. "I don't wanna go out looking like this,"

The corner of his mouth twitches down, "Don't get your panties in a twist, yeah." He set the glass down on the small table by the cot with a resounding clack. "I told Konan already."

I straightened myself up a fraction. "Wait, what? Why?"

Deidara gave me a wry grin. "She's gonna fix your face, un!"

Rolling my eyes, I fall back on the bed and wince as my back comes in contact with the stiff bullsh*t excuse of a bed. "Yeah, well, if it weren't for you, my face wouldn't need any fixing, anyway,"

To my surprise, the blond fell back beside me on the bed, shifting and angling himself up so he could look at me. "We've already established that, ginger."

A look of disgust crosses my face at the moniker. "Blondie," I menacingly hiss back, glaring daggers at him. I nudge him away with my foot. "Go away, I don't need your douchebaggery in my life,"

He doesn't budge, stubborn little sh*t.

An exasperated groan escapes my lips, and he could only snicker in response.

I AM SOOOO SORRY for the slow ass update! Honestly, I've had this chapter written for months now, yet I was somewhat too hesitant to post it because of the DeidaraxOC in this. W-Well, it's not obvious; you kinda have to squint.

And then college happened. Midterms are next week and I am so stressed. I am so sorry, guys. It's just that even Tomomi seemed OOC in this, so I was really hesitant to post it, especially because I was in a trance of self-doubt about my writing abilities. And sh*t kinda hit the fan in this one, so I feared it would come across as 'Mary Sue-ish', which is like my worst ever nightmare.

Please review~ I love you guys so much! Thanks for your patience with my neverending bullsh*ttery and procrastination in life. I WILL TRY TO UPDATE ASAP

~jellydonut16~