Light stared after his father as the man walked away to his car behind the gates. It's all your fault. He thought bitterly. Is it? Just because he can't handle you're not perfect? The cruel voice cackled manically. You came at him with a knife, I'm lucky he put me in here instead of handing me to the police... Yeah, the joys of life. The voice commented sarcastically. Light sighed. Damn you Kira...

"So, you the new guy?" Light turned to see a blonde watching him coldly from a tree branch. The buildings garden was full of them, to give the place a welcoming aura. It was annoying, to green. "Whatever. You can fuck off now." The blonde waved him away and Light frowned.

"Come down here and I'll show you how well your pretty ass can fight me." He said coldly. He blinked. "I'm sorry, that wasn't... who cares." He sighed in surrender throwing up his arms. "Not like anyone believes me."

"MPD? DID?" The blonde guessed. Light turned in confusion. "Look dude, when you've been here long enough, you see everything. You have DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder don't you?" Light blinked rapidly. "So, who was it I was talking to? The reason you're in this shit hole?" Well, the blonde had a... charming way of wording things...

"I guess." Light sighed. Fucker, let me out! I'll rip out his eyes and make him eat them!Please stop... Make me bitch! Sigh... "Stay away from me when he's out, he's plotting your death currently..." Light wasn't a murderer. He wasn't...

"I've seen worse. A little while ago a patient named BB found petrol. Idiot poured it on himself and lit himself. Still in hospital I hear." The blonde laughed loudly. "Mello." He introduced. "Ask me what I'm in for and I'll shoot your ass." He added coldly.

Bipolar? More likely just for anger issues. I guess. Hey, you agreed. Now can I kill him? No. You know I'll do it anyways. I know... I know...

Mello watched the boys face flick between emotions and smirked. "I'll give you a tour." Mello decided and jumped down. Not much else to do, he was bored. "Move." He ordered, Light followed wordlessly and they were soon inside the buildings.

"Mello! The ogres want me to help them find the treasure!" A red haired boy cheered running over. "Can I?" He begged. Mello rolled his eyes at the goggled child.

"No Matt, the last time you almost locked A in the washing machine."

"But he'd kidnapped the fairies and was eating them..."

"He was playing with a doll." Mello dead panned. Matt burst out crying suddenly.

"YOU HATE ME AND WANT THE WORLD TO FALL TO THE ORCS!" He wailed before running off. Mello huffed.

"He's Matt, he thinks he lives in a alternate reality... don't ask." Mello waved off Light's confusion. "He's my best friend." Light nodded as Mello led him to a room with a couple of jigsaws on the floor and a few stuffed animals in a perfect neat line on the dustless window sill. A white haired child scrubbed at the floor obsessively with a worn cloth, bucket of warm water next to him. "Hey shithead! What the fuck are you doing?" Mello asked loudly smirking. He walked in and dropped a handful of dirt he'd been carrying with him. At once the child reacted, grabbing a dust pan and brush. "He's sheep, he has OCD."

"My name is Near." The child complained sweeping up the dirt, putting it in a wastepaper bin and beginning to scrub with a cloth. "There's a stain that won't come... your feet have mud on them." Mello scoffed at the boys complaints.

"Don't care fucker." Mello stormed out leaving the boy to clean the foot prints he'd left. "He's always like that, ignore it." Mello added seeing Light stare.

Poor kid... who the hell cares about that Near kid? Grab a knife and pull it across his throat... imagine how beautiful he'd be covered in crimson... The voice almost moaned. No, leave him alone. No. Light groaned as Mello led him into a room that had a chess board in the corner. A black haired male crouched over it, playing against a figure only he saw. Huh? I don't like him, I will kill him. You haven't even met him. I don't like his eyes. Light sighed, so far Kira hated everyone he'd met.

"That's L, he has avoidant personality disorder. He's also not afraid to manipulate people into things. Last I heard he manipulated the cafeteria staff into letting him eat cake for dinner." Mello added in a sense of awe. "Thanks to him we get chocolate desserts."

Obsessed with chocolate? Definitely. Maybe I can poison a bar… "Don't eat any chocolate I offer you." Light told Mello who blinked in confusion before shrugging. Fucker… Don't kill anyone. Light mentally begged again. The voice just chuckled darkly and Light sighed in hopelessness.

"Hey L! Meet the new guy!" Mello yelled suddenly, making Light feel sorry for the black haired man. L's hand jerked, knocking over his king in the process. He turned and met Light's eyes shyly before returning to his game quickly in hopes of avoiding conversation.

"…Nice to meet you?" Light offered to the side. L moved the pieces faster and Light stared in confusion. L continued to try to ignore him making Light glare slightly. "I'm trying to be polite."

"Hi." L muttered in a small voice. The room was once again filled with the clicks as the pieces moved. Light gave up and Mello smirked coldly. Light moved next to Mello.

"What room next?" Light asked seeing Mello wasn't moving. The blonde raised a hand and held up five fingers.

"Three… two… one." As Mello reached one a harassed black haired male skidded in, lost his footing and fell on the chess table, sending the pieces flying. L yelped loudly and backed into a corner in hopes of avoiding contact. "Meet Matsuda, the local idiot. Proof stupidity doesn't get you booked in only hired."

"Mello's mean…" The man whined sitting up. The blonde spat on the floor next to the man, missing his hand my millimeters.

"Fuck you." Mello snapped angrily.

"Mello knows he shouldn't take the patients when it's my turn to introduce them to Watari…." Matsuda continued pathetically. Mello rolled his eyes.

"Get me chocolate and I'll consider it." Mello emphasized the word 'consider' coldly making Matsuda frown. Idiot, but tolerable. Easy to manipulate… Not another… The bitch was asking for it, whore. You slept with Misa and then used her. Exactly. "You know I'd lose my job…" Matt ran in holding an… acorn?

"I FOUND THE HOLY TREASURE!" Matt cheered in awe. "MELLO! LOOK! THE GOBLINS GAVE IT TO ME AS A PEACE OFFERING!"

"…Matt, get it out. Or drop it in Near's room." Mello said slowly.

"No! Near's hired by the orc's!" Matt protested.

"….Matt, drop it. Now."

"NEVER!" Light stared as Matt ran out the room again, and quickly found himself wondering exactly what Matt was smoking. Retard. Not Retard, just… unique. Translation; 'special'. Would you stop that? No. …damn it. Light cursed as Kira laughed loudly. He sighed as Matsuda continued to wine annoyingly about nothing.

"…Ihavetogo." L said rapidly collecting the chess pieces in an oak box and walking out as quickly as possible without running. Light felt a sudden lose but sighed in relief. I'll get him one day. Light groaned as Kira laughed madly. Damn you… You really need to stop repeating yourself ya know. ... Light almost sighed.

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Mello stared at the mirror and snarled as a single piece of hair fell over his eyes. He moved it behind his ear, only to frown further when it fell back over his eyes. Another five minutes of this exorcise led to a frustrated silent scream as Mello grabbed a hairclip he'd stolen and used that instead. Let them try and confiscate it, he'd have their heads. Mello grabbed a tight leather top and pulled it over his head before spending another ten minutes in front of the mirror checking his appearance. After deciding he looked perfect as usual he walked out with a sway of his hips, smirking as he saw Near kneeling in the corridor twitching, fighting the urge to clean. The building was a pure white, which didn't help his OCD much.

"What's up bitch?" Mello asked in greeting.

"The floor's dirty and the tables are dusty." Near reported. Mello blinked as Near critically studied the display tables with the tacky and cheap flowers on top of them.

"…Why do they hire cleaners again?" Mello was basically pointing out Near did all the work for them.

"Child labour laws." Near shrugged giving up on the battle in side him and searching out for a broom. Mello watched for a few minutes. "…Does Mello need anything or is he here to mess up the floor more?" Near questioned bluntly. Mello watched for a few more minutes.

"Want to come grab breakfast with me?" Mello tried suddenly. Near tensed.

"I am fully aware of Mello's… condition… and will not be used." Near unknowingly crushed any hope Mello had held inside of him. Mello frowned.

"FUCK YOU WHORE! IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LEAD ME ON YOU FUCKER!" Mello screamed turning on his foot and storming away. He passed a mirror, why it was there no one knew but it had been there for years, and froze. Near watched Mello eye his hair critically before trying to sort it out with his hands. It didn't work leading to Mello going back to his room and re-brushing his hair for half an hour, till it was fluffy and straight. By the time Mello got to the canteen most of the food (Half cooked hard boiled eggs, greasy bacon, burned toast) was cold. He grabbed a plastic bowl with mushy cornflakes and a plastic spoon before sitting down. He spotted Light who was staring at L as L hid outside the room eying the food hungrily. "He always does that." Mello muttered. Light looked at him in confusion leading Mello to continue. "He never enters the canteen, they used to drag him in but so much shit was damaged they gave up."

Light looked at L in pity before sneering. "Stupid fucker can't even enter a room without crying and throwing a fit like the baby he is…" He chuckled darkly continuing to eat his cold toast. He paused. "I didn't mean that." He added.

"…YOU IDIOT! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE L FOR HOW AWESOME HE IS!" Mello yelled furiously. "I can see your point though." Mello added lightly eating some cereal. Light stared at the mood swings as Matt threw open the doors, dog rolled in, grabbed an apple and jumped (Literally jumped) into the free chair next to Light. Mello looked at him in confusion.

"It's my day off." Matt shrugged eating calmly. Mello nodded returning to his cereal. Light was still confused as hell.

"Idiots, the lot of you." Light muttered. "No, you're all very clever." He corrected sharply.

"Shut up." Mello ordered.

"Make me motherfucker! No matter how hot you might be, no one orders me around!" Light snapped. Mello stared.

"You think I'm hot?" Mello was in shock for a moment. "Really?" He suddenly begged as if his life depended on it.

"…Yes?" Light was unsure what else to say. Mello lunged forward and grabbed him in a tight bear hug or some variation of it.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you." Mello said rapidly without pausing to breath. He suddenly kissed Light lightly on the lips before going back to his cereal humming. Light edged away VERY slowly. Matt just chuckled. He suddenly darted under the table, moving so his red hair barely poked over it.

"The orc spy… he lives…" he cursed. Near, finally finished with the floor it seemed, examined the food critically before plucking out a few oranges, grapes and apples. He placed the numerous fruits on a plate and sat opposite Light ignoring Mello coldly. Matt hissed threateningly at the albino. "Be gone vile spy…"

"I merely wish to eat." Near's voice was distant as he scrubbed at the apple with a tissue to make sure it was clean before biting into it. Mello 'hmph'ed and stood, binning his food before storming out dramatically. Light was reminded of one of those celebrity spoilt brats and found it oddly fitting. "Has Mello asked you out yet?" Near asked Light suddenly.

Light thought back to the kiss and nodded numbly. "Mello kissed me when I complimented him. I didn't even know it was a compliment." Light admitted. Stupid bastard needs to learn boundaries.

"Mello has Histrionic personality disorder; he has also done that to me." Near stated all of this as if he was reading an essay between bites. Light stared for a minute.

"Never heard of it." Light said snidely.

"Not many have, it was once called Hysterical Personality... for obvious reasons." Light almost laughed at Near's added comment, it came out as a choked laugh. Matt began to hum the mission impossible theme as he began to crawl out of the room on his stomach, preparing to do a mission only he knew. "And no one knows what's wrong with Matt other than a very severe case of gaming addiction."

"...Addiction can cause that?" Light had to ask. Near shrugged beginning to clean his orange.

"Who knew?" Near confirmed nodding.

Thus began Light's stay…