Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

The Phone-call, the Favour and the Random Abuse of Power

"Hey Babes"

"Oh, mon Cherie, ou est la rue St Jacques?"

"Hello Sean. I thought you were going to be Aaron."

"Glad to hear it. Don't want to know if you are fooling around on the side. I'd hate the thought that my big bro isn't treating you right."

"No sugar, I'm well satisfied."

"Stop, stop. No details. Tender impressionable ears here! So I take it he's away on some case in the middle of nowhere. Deserting me in my hour of need!"

"He's at some conference; in Baltimore. And I expect him back this evening."

"Oh, snuggles for you!"

"Thought you didn't want to hear about that? Because there's this thing he does, with his tongue..."

"Eugh, stop stop."

"So what's so important that you're ringing today?"

"Haley darlin', I always call on a Wednesday."

"Yes sweetums. I know. However today is Tuesday. What are you drinking over there?"

"Tuesday? You sure?"

"Yes, Sean. All day in fact."

"Damn. My life is over. I'm going to drop out of college and go live in a hut on a beach somewhere. Maybe half naked native girls will take pity on my unmet needs and offer themselves..."

"Sean, I don't want to hear your island fantasy. I need to get to the store if we are going to eat tonight."

"OK sis. No fantasy. But I hope you don't mind having an idiot as a brother in law."

"An idiot? God, tell me you haven't knocked some girl up!"

"Hale, don't be stupid. There are these wonderful things these days called condoms. Great for stopping that. Aaron made me watch this really gruesome video, tell you it was an actual tape. Eugh, he ever offer to get out his tape collection - believe me girl, say no!"

"Sean, as much as I would love to chat - did you have actually need something? 'Cause seriously food good, starving bad."

"I need help Hale. If I'm going to graduate I need to pass calculus. If I'm ever going to get into law school I need to pass it this year. I'm telling you it makes no sense, probably not going to be helped by missing today's class - you're really sure it's Tuesday? I'm hoping that Aaron could remember how to do it enough that he could help me out a little."

"You want your brother to help you out with Math? Your brother. The man who can't even balance his check book? That brother?"

"Bad idea, huh?"

"Not the best you've ever had."

"Don't suppose you..."

"Sean. English Lit. Liberal Arts. I needed Math 101!"

"God I'm screwed. You'll still love me when I'm pushing 'fries with that' won't you?"

"Hmm... One idea for you. Baby bro, would you like me to abuse my position as Aaron's wife to help you pass calculus?"

"What are you thinking you sneaky, lovely, sister-in-law you?"

"There's some new guy in the unit. Doctor something or other. I think Gideon said it was in Chemistry or Physics or something, to be honest I wasn't paying that much attention. Is that bad of me? It sounds bad. But you know Gideon, he does go on."

"Hale."

"Anyway it was something sciencey. You think he'd know anything about calc?"

"He'd probably have been expected to pass it at some point. Do you think he'd help? Let's face it that bunch are a bit, hell a lot, full of themselves."

"Oh totally. But this guy's new. He's going to want to score some points. What better way than to help out a close family member of one of the senior agents?"

"Sucking up to the boss. A time honoured tradition. But what the hey, if you can convince the old codger to give me a hand then I'll take whatever help I can get. See if you can get this guy to come round to the frat. If he's new in town then he's going to need to move into a new place. He helps me and the guys..."

"So it's not just you then?"

"Shut it gorgeous. If he helps us pass calc, then me and the guys will haul boxes for him when he moves in."

"I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks Hale. I'll see you Sunday. Now go, kill a buffalo, feed him up so he won't be mad when we tell him what else you've cooked up!"

"Goodbye Sean."

"Au revior mon petite chat"

"I wonder if he knows any French. He might be able to help you out there as well!"

"Nah, I'm taking Russian!"

"And a nation rejoices! See you Sunday."

*Click*