Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling continues not to accept my continuing requests to please, please let me possess her soul and write some more stories. However, she is a Gryvenpufferin (a combination of Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin) , and so of course, she doesn't let me. So now I will sort all of her characters, and the only thing she can do is sue me! MWAHAHAHA! What does it matter that I don't own Harry Potter, and she does? No disrespect intended, just a bunch of bloody nonsense. Continue with your continuation of reading. Thank you.

Ron sat under the hat, waiting.

Oh, please, please! I want to be in Gryffindor, just like the rest of my family. And then I can tell them all about Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived! Please, Mr. Hat? Just shout Gryffindor.

Hmm, thought the hat. Where will I put you? You obviously don't have the brains to be in Ravenclaw. You don't have any brains at all, in fact!

Yes! Wait, hey! Who said you have the power to insult me.?

Ah, and without brains, what better place than Slytherin?

Hold on there, you can't put me next to Draco! He'll hate me for being nice! And duh, he's a son of a-

You are not allowed to curse in Hogwarts!

That's not true. Everybody curses. Anyway, I was simply going to say son of a Death Eater!

Well, with no brains, you won't pass any O.W.L.s, and then you'll have to be a Death Eater to make money! The perfect job!

You'll never get away with this!

Oh yes I will, Voldemort will love me because I gave him a new recruit, and I'll be able to leave this dump!

Git.

I know you are, but what am I?

Sigh.

Anyway, if you really don't want to be in Slytherin, I guess there's only one other option, which is-

Gryffindor!

HU-

No! I will not be Hufflepuff! Now to use my great powers of mimicking!

GRYFFINDOR!