Author's Note: I'm not going to lie and pretend to be modest; I really like how this turned out. Except the end, but oh well. I feel that it ended kind of weird. Anyways, I really need to get back to work on the Conscience verse, but my muse seems to have bailed on me. If you have any one-shot prompts or anything you'd like me to take on, PM me. I'm sure we can work something out.

Disclaimer: I usually forget to do these. I don't own them. I'm just playing with them.

Warnings: Preslash. Slight spoilers for Theatricality.

Prompt: Puck spends the night at the Hudmel house and the next morning Finn's like 'come on, get up, you totally have to see this.' Finn parks them in the kitchen and they wait. After a few minutes Kurt comes stumbling in. Puck is in shock because fabulous super diva Kurt is wearing ratty old pjs, his hair is standing up on end, and he's walking like a bleary eyed zombie. Kurt beelines for the coffee maker and stands in front of it, staring like it contains his salvation. At the first sip, he gets a look of such absolute complete and utter bliss, that Finn jokingly asks if they need to be alone. "Shhh, ours is a forbidden love." Kurt affectionately pats the coffee maker. "It's okay, baby. I appreciate you." Puck had already been secretly crushing on Kurt, but this is all just too completely endearing/adorable for him to stand. A couple of days later, he's waiting in front of Kurt's locker with a huge cup of coffee made to Kurt's exacting specifications and finally works up the nerve to ask the other boy out.

When Finn and Carole had first moved in with the Hummels, Burt had pulled him aside to speak to him about sleeping arrangements. "For now, you'll have to crash in Kurt's basement," the older man had said, looking apologetic.

"It's no big deal, Burt," Finn said, confused. "Kurt and I are friends."

Burt snorted. "Kid, be careful. Kurt's evil in the morning. Rule number one: Do not take the first cup of coffee. Please." With that confusing sentence, Burt left Finn to take his things downstairs and settle down on the bed that had been constructed in Kurt's basement bedroom for him. He would never forget waking up the next morning to see Kurt, tousled and sleepy, sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands and a steaming cup of black coffee sitting in front of him. Every so often his head would dip down and he'd jerk up suddenly.

Finn remembered the first time he'd forgotten what Burt referred to as The Golden Rule. He had been tired and hoping that a cup of coffee would boost his energy. When Kurt stumbled into the kitchen five minutes later to see Finn dumping sugar in a ceramic mug, his eyes had widened comically and he had screamed. Burt had entered the kitchen rubbing his eyes, only to narrow them when he saw Finn, frozen sheepishly as he remembered. "Oops," the jock muttered, quickly offering the cup to Kurt, who looked at it like it was evil.

Kurt drank his first cup of coffee with nothing added, needing the pure caffeine jolt to wake him up. Afterwards, he added hazelnut creamer. Unless he was at Starbucks and getting a vanilla latte; those were to die for.

The first time Puck slept over, Finn was slightly apprehensive. "Dude, don't drink the coffee," was all he said by way of warning. Finn often got up early on the weekends to see the unkempt, grumpy, irritable side of Kurt that no one else was able to see unless they lived with him. He even hid it from friends who slept over. But Puck had come over after Kurt was asleep, so he had no idea Puck was there. Besides, in the morning, Kurt didn't even acknowledge his surroundings until after he had that first cup of life.

Puck and Finn stayed up until three playing Call of Duty and Finn's cell phone alarm went off quietly at seven-fifty. Finn roughly shook Puck awake, who simply swatted at him and muttered, "Whatsamatter?' before rolling over and trying to go back to bed.

"Dude, get up. You wanna see this." He dragged Puck out of bed and they were sitting on stools at the breakfast counter, each with a huge bowl of Froot Loops, when Kurt staggered into the kitchen at eight and flipped on the switch for the coffee pot. He collapsed into a chair at the table, folding in on himself and putting his head on his folded arms. Soon, his breathing steadied, and Puck glanced in disbelief between him and Finn.

"Is he serious?" the mohawked boy finally asked. Finn simply nodded.

"Wait. It gets better."

The coffee maker beeped, signaling that it was done percolating, and Kurt immediately jumped up and hurried over, staring at it lovingly and stroking the side as he got a huge mug out, pouring a generous amount of strong coffee into it until it nearly over-flowed. He took a healthy drink and moaned.

"Should we leave you two alone?" Finn asked teasingly.

"Sh. Ours is a forbidden love, isn't it baby?" Kurt cooed to the coffee maker. "It's okay baby. I appreciate you. It's why we'll never leave each other."

He sat back down with his cup, staring at it adoringly. Puck appraised the small boy in disbelief. The kicker had on loose, baggy sweatpants that were at least three sizes too big and rolled at the waist to make them fit better. His shirt was thin and white, just a regular small Hanes, and it rode up when he sat down, exposing a tantalizing strip of pale skin.

Puck really needed to get over this stupid gay crisis. Sure, Hummel had a nice ass and a badass attitude, but he didn't like dudes. Okay, so he'd been stuck in his crisis for about two months of gawking at Kurt when no one was paying attention, but still: he was straight. He liked MILFs and Cheerios. He had to admit, however, that they weren't doing it for him anymore. He usually tried to imagine what Kurt would look like under him, around him, getting out of his bed in the morning, covered in his marks and scent.

Okay, so he was possessive. And freakishly obsessed. Whatever. This, however, was too adorable for Puck to even comprehend. Kurt looked hot in the morning, all rumpled and sexy and grumpy. After they all shared breakfast, Kurt locked himself away in the basement for an hour while Puck and Finn got into a movie. When the small boy emerged, he was perfectly put together. Puck felt a small pang of disappointment.

"I'm going out with Mercedes," he announced, sweeping past them, fully functioning and cheerful and...still sexy. Damn.

That Wednesday, Puck was standing at Kurt's locker with a huge steel to-go cup full of coffee with hazelnut creamer..and a bit of hazelnut extract. Okay, so he was whipped. Oh well.

Kurt approached, looking slightly awake, but not totally, He glanced up warily when he spotted Puck by his locker.

"Can I help you, Noah?" he asked disdainfully.

"Here you go, Princess. Black. Hazelnut creamer. A lot of coffee. See you after school to plan our date for this weekend," he said, handing Kurt the cup and turning to leave.

"Puck! I'm only agreeing to this because you brought me coffee first!" he called at the jock's retreating back.

"I know, Princess!" Puck answered, grinning cheekily.

And if he grabbed Kurt's hand tight, kissed him in the hallways and carried his books to class for him, well, he was still a badass. But now he had a badass boyfriend, too.