Trying something new here. This is going to be the prequel for A Year to be Remembered and shows the break from cannon. It can be read alone. It's going to focus on one main viewpoint per chapter. It's kinda like a seires of interconnected one shots. I don't really know how to explain it any better so just bear with me and let's see how far we go.

It had been three days after the full moon the night that the Potters were killed and Remus' life had seemingly ended.

He remembered Dumbledore passing on the news that two of his friends were dead and the other had been the reason.

He remembered punching a hole in the wall and, as his anger turned to despair, lying in bed late at night nursing a bottle of firewhiskey.

By the time the next full moon came his anger had already been vented but that didn't stop the wolf from tearing himself to pieces, locked up in his little basement.

And the next morning he'd stumbled blindly into his bedroom, patched himself up and gone to bed knowing full well that when he awoke, his friends would not be there to cheer him up and tell him the adventures they'd gone on on that night.

And that had been it. That had been his life for thirteen years. No friends, no family. He scraped by with enough money for a little flat and just enough food to survive and more than once he'd asked himself "what's the point?"

But he'd kept at it. He busied himself with small, simple jobs that kept his mind thinking on other things. He didn't focus on what ifs or could haves. He accepted it and moved on because if he thought about why Sirius was the killer or how Peter had become the victim he would have come to the conclusion that he didn't factor into the equation at all. He had just been there. No one had bothered to tell him anything. No one had trusted him.

And for a man that loved to be loved he wouldn't have been able to bear it.

But then he realized Sirius innocent and Pettigrew was alive and when he'd rushed into the Shrieking Shack everything had hit him with the force of a sledgehammer.

"Wouldn't Sirius have told you they changed the plan?" Pettegrew had asked in a fearful voice and Remus felt his resolve shatter.

"Not if he thought I was the spy," he'd answered quietly, "Not if he'd trusted me."

And Sirius had asked for forgiveness and Remus had brushed him off lightly because he just couldn't bear to think about it.

"Not at all Padfoot old friend," he'd said with a wry smile but deep down he didn't know if he'd spoken the truth.

And one year later, he still didn't know. Did he forgive Sirius? Did he forgive him for not trusting him? For leaving him alone for thirteen years? Even when Remus would have gone to the greatest of lengths for Sirius in return?

And on one fateful day he had concluded, with dread in his heart that no. He hadn't forgiven Sirius because if it wasn't for him he wouldn't have to be dealing with this shit. He wouldn't have been lying awake at night questioning his role in life. He wouldn't be silently wondering if he mattered at all.

For thirteen years he'd been stuck in Limbo. He hadn't felt hatred or despair or even longing. He'd quietly accepted everything that came to him. He didn't question himself or his friends but now with Sirius back he was forced out of that peaceful ignorant bliss. He had to figure out how he fit. If he fit.

And in the end. He'd concluded that he didn't.

Yet when Sirius had knocked on his door after Harry's fourth year and shuffled his feet a bit in embarrassment, Remus was forced to once again ignore everything. He'd stared at Sirius' rather sorry state for a moment and even though he had deemed it all Sirius' fault. He realized that he couldn't turn Sirius away. Couldn't just shut the door in his face and never talk to him again.

For a man who loved to be loved he could never do that to a friend, new or old and that was Remus Lupin's one fatal flaw.

"Hey," Sirius had started rather awkwardly and Lupin had leaned against the doorframe with a small smile before replying.

"Hey."

A few months after that, Sirius had wormed his way into Remus' life and Remus had pushed all other thoughts aside.

He'd accepted Sirius. Laughed at his jokes and the stupid little things he did certainly helped liven the place up and that month on the full moon, Sirius had been there to keep him company as Padfoot. Afterwards he'd hauled Remus to bed, patched him up and even made him some breakfast.

And Remus had been reminded of times like these from thirteen years ago and he savoured in the moment because deep down in his heart he knew it would never last. It hadn't lasted thirteen years ago. It certainly wouldn't last now.

And in the end, Remus was right.

"Oi Moony! Where are you you lazy ass? It's cake time!"

Remus shook himself from his thoughts and rolled off his bed at Number 12 Grimmlaud Place with a sigh. Fifteen years after the deaths of Lily and James and the full moon just happened to land on July 31st.

"I'm coming Padfoot," he called as Sirius burst through the door of his room.

"What's the matter with you Moony? Why you so anal today?" Sirius asked and Remus raised an eyebrow at his friend's choice of words.

"Come on. You have to see Harry's cake! Molly's a dragon I say but damn can she cook!" Sirius went on, dragging Remus out of the room.

To be quite honest, Remus was in no mood for cake. All that extra food and cream would probably make him puke. Not to mention transforming on a full stomach made it feel even worse as he would usually always puke half way through.

Remus winced at the thought.

"Actually Padfoot. I don't really want cake today," he said and Sirius stopped on the landing of the stairs to look at him with a confused look.

"Why not? It's Harry's birthday! You can't have a birthday without cake! Besides it looks great!" he said enthusiastically and Remus suddenly realized that Sirius, in the excitement of finally attending one of his godson's birthdays, had quite forgotten that it was a full moon.

Looking in Sirius' happy and excited eyes Remus didn't have the heart to remind him and offered him a smile instead.

"Yeah. You're right. Come on let's go," he said in false cheeriness as he continued down the stairs of the Black house, Sirius at his heels.

The birthday went quite well to be honest and Remus even managed to lose himself in the excited atmosphere. He insisted on the smallest piece of cake and tried to eat just enough to avoid suspicion. He ended up having a rather engaging conversation with Bill Weasley and his father and sooner than he'd expected the clock was chiming nine o clock and several of the house guests retired to their rooms while the others filed out the front door to their own houses.

"I'd better be going then," Remus said, excusing himself from the table. It was a good thing it was summer time. The moon rose later and set earlier in the long summer days so the time wouldn't be so suspicious when Remus had to leave.

Unfortunately, Sirius didn't think so.

"Oi, where you going Moony?" he asked and Remus barely held back a wince.

"I have to go," he supplied and Sirius scowled, "to where? It's Harry's birthday you know?"

"Yes of course Padfoot, I know," Remus said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes, "I've got to check on the flat. The landlord's coming around tomorrow morning and I have to fix it up before she arrives," Remus lied. Hopefully Padfoot wouldn't know the fact that he didn't have a landlord since the flat had actually been bought by his parents for him once he'd graduated Hogwarts.

Sirius thankfully only raised an eyebrow and Remus' excuse before asking, "You're coming back aren't you?"

"Of course," Remus said with a wry grin that felt false as he ran up the stairs to fetch his cloak. Hopefully Sirius hadn't been asking if he was coming back tonight.

Upon reaching his room he hurriedly snatched up his cloak and gave a sigh of pure frustration when he realized his wand was in its many pockets. He must have left it back in the kitchen and he needed his wand to apparate.

"I don't have time for this," Remus muttered as he sprinted back down the stairs. The moon would be rising in a bit over half an hour and Remus could already feel his body reacting to its pull.

He slowly and silently pushed the door of the kitchen open and realized that it was empty save for Harry and Sirius who were still sitting at the table, backs to the door.

Ignoring them Remus turned to his former seat from before and, sure enough, there was his wand lying innocently on the checkered table cloth. Remus moved his hand to accio the wand to him with wandless magic before he was interrupted,

"I just...wish that my parents could have been here," Harry suddenly said a bit sadly and Remus froze.

"You think they would have been happy for me?"

Sirius on the other hand gave a laugh and reached over to pull Harry into a one armed hug.

"Of course they'd be happy Harry. They'd be bloody proud of you. Take it from me. There's no one in the world that cared for them more than I did!" Sirius said rather proudly and Remus felt something snap.

He was a nobody. He had hoped that with Sirius back his life could start gaining some structure. Sure he never expected Sirius to babysit him every full moon. That'd be troublesome and downright embarrassing. He never expected Sirius to even remember when the full moon was. He figured that people had other things to worry about and Remus never wanted to be seen as a handicap anyways. But he'd just been ignored. He'd been tossed aside like some rag doll and Sirius had come in and taken everything. His peace; his trust; his friendship; his purpose.

And for the first time in his life Remus felt anger. Anger at Sirius. He had no idea what Remus had been through the past fourteen years. Who was he to say that Remus hadn't cared for James and Lily just as much as he did?

It might have been the fact that he had had very little sleep the past few days or that the Order meetings had left him a bit stressed or, more possibly, it could be that it was now just half an hour before the full moon and his inner wolf was just dying to get it out.

Whatever the reason, whatever the cause, before he knew it Remus had crossed the kitchen, balled his hand into a fist and belted Sirius across the face.

The force of the unexpected blow caused Sirius to tip sideways out of his chair and he crashed to the floor, staring in surprise at his friend.

The room was dead quiet for what everyone felt was an extremely long amount of time.

Harry was staring in shock at the usually calm and collected professor and Remus realized what he had just done.

He'd let the wolf take over. He hadn't been able to control his anger.

He gave a panicked gasp and took a step back, eyes wide at his friend on the floor who was staring at him in with a mirror image on his face.

He had been jealous. Jealous of Sirius for what he had that Remus didn't and who was Remus to take that away from him? Just because Remus was a nobody didn't mean he had the right to deny Sirius his happiness. The man had spent thirteen years in Azkaban! Surely that was worse than what Remus had dealt with.

"I-I-" Remus started, "I have to go," he mumbled, grabbing his wand and rushing out the kitchen.

"No! Moony! Wait!" Sirius called after him but Remus ignored him as he sprinted to the door. He had to leave. Now.

He'd just managed to wretch the door free before a hand grabbed him by the wrist.

"Moony. Please it's Ok," Sirius said and Remus turned to look at him.

"I'm not Moony he growled, jerking his hand free and stepping out the door.

"Moony had friends and people who trusted him,"

"Moony died fifteen years ago,"

And with a BANG! Remus was gone.

Sirius was left standing alone at the front door, mind reeling at what had just happened.

His best friend had just pummelled him across the face looking every bit like the wolf within him but Sirius had already forgiven him, after all it had been his fault.

"Harry?" he asked the boy who'd run after him but not bothering to look back.

"What day is it?" he asked and Harry, looking totally confused could only shrug helplessly.

"DAMMIT!" Sirius shouted, slamming the door with a bang.

He'd been an idiot. He'd taken Remus for granted. He'd shown up at his front door two months ago praying for the love of Merlin that his friend still accepted him and when Remus had leaned on the door so casually and offered him a smile he'd cast him aside in that same second. Whatever pleased Sirius had to please Remus because Remus loved to be loved and Sirius never took into account what Remus had been through during those thirteen years. It must have been hell. Sirius might have been locked up in Azkaban but he'd known the truth. He'd had a purpose: to break free and kill the damn rat with his own hands. But then there was Remus. Remus who would do anything for his friends. The quiet, sensible one that tried his best to keep them out of trouble. Remus the werewolf...the man who, in the end, Sirius hadn't trusted. He'd assumed. And being a Black, he always believed himself to be right.

And he knew it. Knew that he'd broken Remus' trust. So he'd asked for forgiveness. Those two simple words in the Shrieking Shack on that fateful day: "Forgive me." He hadn't thought of making a more profound apology because, deep down, he'd taken Remus' trust for granted. Knew that should he ask, Remus would always give while his friend had been battling with himself all this time.

Until today, where Sirius had just practically taken his trust and everything Remus had done for him and James and Lily and even the damn rat. He'd taken it all and gone and thrown back in Remus' face.

"You weren't important. You'll never be important. There's no one in the world that cared for them more than I did. Especially not a pathetic werewolf like you."

That was the true message that had been said and Sirius had let it slip without even thinking about Remus or his feelings. He deserved to be locked up in Azkaban. He was an idiot; a moron; a bloody imbecile.

And he was going to set things right.

"SNAPE!" Sirius roared, barging into the library of the house without a second thought.

Snape glanced up from his book at the intruder with a noticeable scowl but Sirius was far too preoccupied with what he was about to do.

"This is for Remus," he thought to himself as he finally set aside his prickly pride.

He marched into the room, gritted his teeth, got down on his hands and knees and bowed his head in the tell tale sign of submission.

"I need your help," he finished trying desperately to keep his voice neutral.

Snape was no doubt staring at him with that ever present sneer whenever he had an enemy at his mercy. Oh, he was going to enjoy this.

Sirius resisted the urge to leap up and throttle the slimeball. He could take this. If Remus could take it for the whole year that they'd been working together, Sirius could stand a few minutes.

After a few more seconds of this public display of submission that left Sirius' skin crawl, Snape finally shut his book with a loud snap, "Very well Black," he drawled.

"Remus?" Oi Remus! Open up!" Severus Snape's fist pounded on the door to Remus' flat only to receive no answer.

With a frustrated sigh the man brushed the disgustingly greasy hair out of his eyes, took out his wand and with a simple Alohomora the door swung open.

He quickly closed the door and ran over to the door leading to the basement making sure not to look in any mirrors should he come across them.

Remus had taught him how to undo and reapply the security wards in the basement and after a few more minutes of frantic fiddling he finally had them all undone.

"There you are."

"What do you want Sirius?" Remus asked tiredly, he was sitting with his legs drawn up on the cold floor in the corner of the basement. A blanket was wrapped around his thin frame and chains were already tied to his ankles and wrists. Sirius gave a wince at the sight but asked his own question.

"How'd you know it was me?" he asked, hesitant and Remus finally looked up to meet the eyes of Severus Snape.

"Because only you'd be stupid enough to come in here," he mumbled at an attempt at humor but Sirius could tell his heart wasn't in it.

"Hey, it was a great disguise don't you think? Severus Snape, under Dumbledore's orders, giving Remus Lupin Wolfsbane on the night of a full moon," Sirius asked lightly as he uncorked a potion that Snape had provided and drained it. Almost instantly, the Polyjuice Potion's effect was negated and the form that was Severus Snape turned back into Sirius Black.

Sirius gave his friend a grin as welcome but Remus looked away.

"You shouldn't be here," he went on and Sirius' grin faded.

"It's not safe. What if someone saw you?" Remus went on, still staring at his feet and Sirius frowned.

"I know. That's why I had old Snivellus give me some Polyjuice. No spell would have been able to tell the difference..."

"It's Harry's birthday," Lupin interrupted and Sirius sighed, fidgeting uncomfortably. This wasn't how things were supposed to turn out, "I spent all day with Harry. Now I'll spend all night with you," Sirius answered but Remus still didn't look convinced.

"Look Mo- Remus," Sirius corrected, "I'd say I'm sorry but I know that's not good enough. Can you at least tell me what you're thinking?" Sirius asked and Remus sighed. He wasn't used to this kind of Sirius.

"...I'm thinking..." he started slowly only to look away again, "you didn't trust me because I'm a werewolf," Remus finished slowly and Sirius winced. Remus' power or reasoning was the stuff of legends really for he'd hit the nail right on the head.

Sirius opened his mouth to reply. To say that that wasn't true. That he'd always trusted Remus...

But then he'd be lying.

"You're right," Sirius mumbled, looking ashamed as Remus' body tensed, "I was a moron. I could sit here and make excuses with you all day but you're right. You're a Dark Creature. Voldemort probably would have made put you high up in his ranks, given you things that the wizarding community wouldn't. At first I thought it was ridiculous but that damn rat always kept giving me hints. He pointed out that you were beginning to avoid us; that you didn't seem as scared as the rest of us. And that got me thinking..." Sirius trialed off with a sigh, "I'm really sorry Remus. I deserve every single second I spent in Azkaban," he finished lamely.

The basement was filled with an uncomfortable silence that, to Sirius felt like hours. Remus wasn't going to say anything. He would just continue to ignore Sirius until he got the message and left so with a guilty sigh, Sirius turned and started heading back up the stairs.

"Don't," Remus cut in as soon as Sirius took the first step and he felt his heart blossom with hope.

"Do you trust me now?" Remus asked a bit helplessly.

"Of course!" Sirius shouted, wanting nothing more than to take his friend and shake him, "Werewolf or not you're the best person in the world Remus. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Not even an idiot like me. You're gonna stand up with your head held high and give society the finger. You're gonna stand on the highest building in the world and shout down to everyone else that you're up there, they're down there and they can't do shit about it. You're gonna get married and get a job and maybe even have a kid and you know why Remus? Because you can. I know you can. Give yourself some bloody credit for once in your life would you?" Sirius shouted finishing his speech with an empathetic punch to the wall.

And Remus looked at his best friend, eyes more alive than ever before, breathing heavily after shouting so much...and burst out laughing.

It was just so...Sirius. To have him shout at you for being a wimp and at the same time encourage you to greatness. It left Remus feeling like the world was at his calling that he could do anything and everything. It made him feel whole. It gave him purpose.

Sirius on the other hand was looking almost mortified for yelling at his friend.

"Dammit I'm an idiot. He's gonna hate me now," Sirius thought to himself but then Remus had laughed and the old twinkle that had been in his eyes fifteen years ago was back.

"Sirius?" Remus started, smile now gone and Sirius looked up at him, "Remus?" he replied, fidgeting nervously, surely Remus would now just turn him back to the door and ask him to leave after that...

"Are you going to stay?"

Sirius frowned in thought, "If you want me to," he started hesitantly looking into Remus' eyes and he felt his heart almost blossom with happiness as Remus nodded and patted the ground next to him.

With a woot of triumph Sirius reverted in his canine alter ego and happily romped over to lie beside his friend. The transformation should now only be a few minutes away.

"Padfoot?" Remus whispered as they got themselves comfortable for the impending transformation.

Padfoot cocked his head to the side in question.

"Call me Moony would you?"

And Padfoot perked his ears and gave a happy bark and even when the transformation began and Remus felt himself changing. He didn't think he'd felt this happy in fifteen years.

"Thanks."

Reviews would be greatly appreciated!

Sirius will live in this AU although after this he's not going to be the main focus for a while.

And if your name is The Chocolate Alchemist your are forbidden to review (if your name is The Chocolate Alchemist you'd know why) XD