Brittany's hands were warm to the touch. She caressed my face as we sat staring at each other on an autumn afternoon. Her eyes were really endearing, focused one minute and looking right through you the next. I often wondered what she thought about as her eyes misted over. I held up my hand and put in over hers intertwining out fingers. She smiled coyly. I could always understand her, even if she was off on one of her tangents about random thoughts she had merged together as one. Sometimes though, she couldn't understand me. Not the words I used, or how I phrased things; just me. She didn't know what went on in my mind; how it worked. I'll admit I had no idea what was going on in hers, but considering she was the girl who once told me the square root of four was rainbows. One day I'm sure she'll turn around and shout 'April Fools' and uncover the fact that she is actually completely normal, although I won't hold my breath.

We were so close and yet sometimes we were so far apart. I do so much for her and I don't think she realises any of it. Maybe her ways of repaying me for all of my hard work were her touches. They were gentle and precise; full of care. She knew exactly how to make shivers run through me. She would also let me hold her hand and nestle onto her shoulder as we sat in Glee club. When I hold her hand it makes me feel safe, and I know what people say, it's because I'm 'possessive' but it's not, it's because I love the feeling.

I met her when we were eight in cheer camp. She was pretty even then, although I didn't appreciate it like I do now. I remember she introduced herself really politely and I completely shot her down. Then she started to dance, randomly playing out a routine she had learned in the year previous. Her body flowed around her very own spot on the grass field. It felt as if in those moments everything else in the world had shut down to watch her dance. Her body flowed with utter finesse and she leaped from one foot and landed on the other with grace and poise. I didn't think could ever be truly awestruck, but in that moment, I was. When she had finished, I stood speechless. I then walked over to her and complemented her on her dancing skill. She beamed and kicked her foot through the grass.

From then on we were inseparable. Our bond grew as we did. The older we got the stronger it got. Brittany had always depended on me and I liked it, from homework to money, she needed me in all sorts of situations. I don't depend on anyone; that was the way I was brought up. 'Don't depend on anyone and you'll never get hurt.' My mother would always say, although that was just her way of justifying her lacking parenting skills. My family had never really cared much about me, but I didn't mind because I found Brittany. Her family were so welcoming and they knew the situation with my own family and said when I was ten that I could stay over at anytime I wanted, but I didn't want to impose. I did stay over more than the average friend would but at least my family didn't question why it was so. They simply said it was easier with me out of the house. I loved being at Brittany's house though, I felt wanted. Her mom was always so supportive of everything we did.

Brittany reached for my thigh. Her hand snaked across my naked flesh. Damn why did my Cheerio's skirt have to be so short. She rubbed my thigh up and down repeatedly, she then let her finger trace aimless shapes on the same spot. Her face was completely distant as I studied it.

"What are you looking at San?" She said without looking up.

"You're really pretty Britt..."

"What, you're only noticing now?" She smirked.

"Haah, no! I mean it's just, you know." What the fuck. I sounded like I was in kindergarten. I stammered though that sentence and blushed.

She leaned closer to my face and her hand got higher and higher on my thigh. Her lips met mine. I was shocked and I darted back. As soon as I did I felt like a complete bitch.

"Sorry, I just..." I trailed off because I had no clue as to what to say.

She leaned in again and repeated the kiss. This time I returned the gesture; she smiled into the kiss and pulled away after a long moment. She grinned and I tucked a piece of hair behind her right ear.

"So, what the hell?" I asked causally to break the silence.

"I kissed you."

"Really?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yep." She replied matter-of-factly.

We sat there in a comfortable silence just looking at one another. I wanted to kiss her again... and again. I felt all desperate and needy, I felt dirty. I hated wanting other people, they were meant to want me. Santana Lopez, the hot, head cheerleader with I libido to challenge Puck's. Who wouldn't tap this? Even Rachel 'Jew' Berry would have to want a little bit of this on the side. I wanted Brittany though, she was amazing, generally. Everyday I'd find something new that amazed me more than the day before. Oh god I sound like such a sap. I needed to pull it together. If something were to happen with me and Brittany I wonder who the guy would be. I think I'd let her pick what she wanted. Fuck, stop thinking Lopez!

"I wanna go home now, is that ok?" Brittany asked.

"Yea go ahead, you know which way you're going, don't you?" I queried.

"Uhh huhh that way." she said as she pointed left.

I took her arm and pointed it right.

"You meant that way, didn't you?" I laughed.

"Yup."

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Oh crap that sounded far to pervy for my liking.

"You sound like you're my boyfriend or something..." she snickered and stopped suddenly. "Are you my boyfriend?"

"Go home Brittany." I said bluntly.

As she got up to leave the park she bent over and kissed my lips lightly. She grinned childishly and skipped away. I watched her go until all I saw was a blur. I sat back against the tree we were near. My head was pulsing, thoughts flashing through it. What to do, what to do?