Everything belongs to the amazing Stephenie Meyer, well except for the plot and a few characters I'm adding in, I own those. :)

Inspirational song: Back to Life by Automatic Loveletter, Entertain the pain by My Favorite Highway.

This is two days after Bella learned that Jacob is a wolf. They are really close again and Bella has been hanging around La Push a lot these past few days for protection from Victoria. This happens later in the night after Jacob and Bella have a very long conversation in his garage in New Moon on page 349.

After Jacob and I had that very long conversation in his garage he asked me if I wanted to just spend the night at his house, he claimed it would be easier because they would only have to have one wolf on patrol at my house instead of two for extra protection. I agreed since it meant Jake wouldn't have to be patrolling all night long. He needed his sleep.

Charlie hesitantly agreed to this arrangement and drove home shortly afterwards. After Charlie left Billy went to bed and told us to do the same soon.

Jacob gave me an old t-shirt of his to wear to bed. I went into the tiny bathroom to change. I felt numb as I stood barefoot on the cold tile while removing my jeans, shirt, and bra and then slipping the baggy t-shirt on. I walked out of the bathroom and into Jake's room he was already changed into his pajamas, a pair of cutoff sweat pants. I self consciously pulled the t-shirt down, since it only hit my upper thigh and Jacob was pointedly staring.

Jacob cleared his throat, "Well you can sleep on the couch or you can try and squeeze on this tiny bed with me." He smiled kindly at me.

"Well, rock hard couch or 1 inch of bed space, hmm I'm going to have to go with the bed," I joked.

"Ok Bells."

I crawled into Jacobs small bed and he slid in behind me, both of us had both our bodies hanging off the side of the bed, I kept scooting over to give Jacob more room since he was bigger. He had to wrap an arm around me so I wouldn't fall off the bed. It was very awkward position but we finally got comfortable. Then it hit me, the last person I had been this close to in a bed was Edward. The pain just wouldn't go away and I decided it was time to finally let it out so I could heal completely.

I cried out loud, recalling the memories of everything. As soon as the sob escaped my throat Jacob was sitting up in the bed, cradling me in his arms.

"Shhhh Bella, honey what's wrong?" he whispered.

I answered him in between sniffling, "I just… I need to heal… you know? I need to get over this and I think it's finally time I did."

"Well if you need any help with this then I'll be happy."

"Actually you can help. Can you just listen to me explain this?"

"Of course I would," he said and started playing with my hair.

"Well I always knew he was too good for me. There was no way someone as beautiful and perfect as him could truly love someone like me. But even if he never loved me our relationship was still enough for a lifetime and I'm glad it happened. When he left I guess I should have realized it was inevitable but I think I was finally starting to believe that he really loved me. It ripped a hole right through my heart when he just left me standing there in the woods. The hole is still there, it's still bleeding and I think you can heal it Jacob Black," I finished trying to push the zombie like feeling away; it wasn't going to take over again.

"How can I heal it Bella?" he asked looking very confused.

I was almost positive I knew away to be healed, I thought that if I felt extreme emotion I would be healed, if I moved on I would be healed.

"How about if I show you rather than explain?" He nodded his head to this and I quickly smashed my lips to his. I felt his hot lips hardened instantly, getting ready to pull away but when I put my hand on the back of his neck and the other on his chest he seemed to relax as his lips softened and he deepened the kiss. He was still cradling me so I turned in his arms so that my whole body was facing him and I wrapped my legs around his middle. His hands went to my waist and pulled me closer.

All the while our tongues were gently massaging each other. He flipped us over so I was on my back and he was hovering over me, careful not to put his weight on me. Our pace was slow; it was not driven by love or lust it was something in-between, I think.

I awoke the next morning feeling notably sore and I instantly realized I had made a huge mistake, why did I think having sex with Jacob Black would make anything better? I mean sure I forgot completely about everything but Jacob, while it was happening but now, everything was back to normal and the depression was back, slightly better but not by much. I rolled over and sure enough Jacob was still asleep with a goofy grin on his face. I felt so wrong lying naked in his arms. I had done something that I could never take back and I knew it would probably ruin our friendship. I pulled away as quietly as I could. I got out of bed and changed back into my clothes from the day before. I ran my fingers through my hair a couple of times, trying unsuccessfully to tame the wild mess.

Jacob woke up a few minutes later; I was sitting on the end of the bed with my head in my hands. He scooted up behind me and wrapped his arm around my waist, I pulled away and turned around and looked at him. He looked very confused when he saw my face.

"What's wrong with you?"

I sighed, "What isn't wrong with me? I cannot believe I did that. That was so unfair to you. That shouldn't have happened. I wish I could just take last night back. I'm so sorry Jacob."

"What are talking about? Last night was amazing," as he said that I saw a sparkle in his eye that hadn't been there for a couple of months.

"Yea it was fun and I'm not going to lie, I liked it a lot. But Jacob, it was a mistake. I should've known doing that wouldn't heal me."

He gave me a hug, "It's ok Bella I don't care if you're completely healed or not, I just want to be with you."

"I wish I could be with you but I know I'm not ready to move on and I won't be very good at a relationship right now, you deserve a good relationship."

"Maybe I do but all I want is you. I only have eyes for you. Bella, please just try."

I hugged him back, kissed him on the forehead, "I'm sorry but I can't right now. Maybe in a few years or something, I just need time."

I got up and left.

Jacob and I decided to pretend like that one night never happened and that was working out pretty well for us, a week later we were completely back to normal. I was still spending all my days at La Push though, since Victoria was still on the loose. It felt like she was treating it like a game. She would go just right in the range and then dance around and finally run away. I could tell what she was doing; she was testing them trying to figure out their weaknesses and strengths. I hope they weren't giving her too much to work with. Honestly, I was scared to death for the pack and I just wanted it all to end but it seemed like it never would…