Title: Per Sempre

Summary: "I used to believe in forever, but forever is too good to be true." - Winnie the Pooh

A/N: My first real story! :D im so excited for this one! The plot bunny attacked me with this idea right before I took my PSATS and during my breaks I kept thinking about it and then I finally got to typing it (: Ok, three things- One: this takes place as if the boys weren't famous, so they live in Minnesota. But Camille and Jo will probably be in it. Two: there is slash. Kames. But what else do you expect from me? Lol but it's not like typical they realize that they're in love and date type of thing, it's more of a B-Plot to this story. You'll see what I mean when I get there (meaning the Kames-ness isn't coming till later in the story, but it'll be there lol). And three: there's a character death. (dun dun dun) But I think that's all I have to say right now so just enjoy. Oh wait I lied lol incase you're wondering the title is Italian for Forever(: ok, now I think that's it except for I don't own anything!

'Has it all gone to waste? All the promises we made. One by one they vanish just the same' - Daughtry, "September"

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Back in Pre-K they had promised each other they'd be friends forever. And unless Webster's definition of 'forever' changed it wasn't supposed to be when they were sixteen-years-old. They were supposed to grow old together, end up in the same nursing home in Minnesota, all four of them going senile and balding. They were supposed to be married to their dream girls and have retired from their dream jobs. They were supposed to have kids and grandkids, getting random visits from them all and sharing Christmas and Thanksgiving together. Then, when they were so old they couldn't leave the comfort of their bedrooms at said nursing home, they were supposed to die peacefully in their sleep, knowing that they didn't have to worry about saying goodbye because they would all see each other soon. That was what their forever was supposed to be.

Forever wasn't supposed to come in September in their Junior year of high school.

September… they all hated that month so much now. It held a new meaning. Before it had meant that school was beginning, a new hockey season had begun, it was a new beginning on a nostalgic sort of way. But this September, was an ending for them.

In September, Kendall Knight breathed his last breath

Kendall had been sick for a long time and they all knew that death was inevitable. They just didn't want to believe it. They wanted to believe that he was going to make some miraculous recovery and he was going to spend the rest of his life with this three best friends. But it didn't turn out that way.

None of the boys even saw it coming. They didn't know that waking up to a rainy September morning was some sort of omen. They didn't know that that day was going to be the last one they spent with Kendall.

It had all started off as normally as you could imagine. Their original plans to go play hockey had fallen though because Kendall was too tired to get off the couch. Even though he told them that it wasn't anything serious and they should go enjoy their day, Logan, James, and Carlos all went over to the Knight house to keep him company. Logan had pulled him up into a sitting position, claiming that he needed to get his blood circulating and he sat down next to him. Carlos took a seat on the floor in front of the couch and James was sitting in the armchair. After a while however, Kendall's head had fallen over and he was soon asleep in Logan's lap. James, after determining that Kendall was just taking a nap and he had not fallen to his death or anything, adverted his attention to the notebook resting inside one of the end table drawers. He pulled out a pencil and tapped it on the side of the notebook. He caught the attention of Carlos, who smiled lightly at him despite his normally bright brown eyes were taking on a dejected look. James felt his chest tighten. Carlos was the happiest person he knew and it was heartbreaking when he can't manage to be genuinely happy.

James looked at Logan next. He kept his eyes focused on the TV but James knew he wasn't really watching it. His eyes had a sort of unfocused look to them; almost as if he was a zombie. He kept one hand running through Kendall's hair, almost brushing it away from the blonde boy's face, and the other was propped up on the side of the couch, holding his head up in his hands. He never let Kendall out of his sight, fearful that if he did he would lose him forever.

James's gaze then traveled to Kendall. He looked so… sick. For most of the duration of his illness, Kendall managed to look somewhat normal but recently, he just looked drained. His eyes took on a dull blue-gray color, his skin was paled, he was weak and tired almost all the time. He wasn't giving off a hopeful vibe that he was going to be ok.

James sighed and started writing. Writing songs always came easy to James whenever he had the right kind of inspiration and Kendall's situation seemed to be good enough inspiration to him.

"What are you doing?" Kendall asked.

James, startled, dropped his pencil on the floor and jumped lightly in his seat. "When did you wake up?" he asked, reaching down to pick up his fallen writing instrument.

"Just a second ago." Kendall replied and forced himself to sit up. Logan had looked away from the TV and helped him up. "My question now; what are you doing?" Kendall asked.

"Just writing." James looked down at his notebook. "It's nothing good."

"Can I see it?"

James shrugged and handed Kendall his green spiral notebook. Kendall brushed his hair out of his lifeless eyes and looked down at the scrawled writing on James's notebook.

"But the life we live isn't so simplistic," he read quietly. "You just don't get what you want. So we take what comes and we keep on going, leaning on each other's shoulders. Then we turn around and see we've come so far somehow."

James blushed faintly. "See, it's not very good."

"I like it." Logan said, peering over Kendall's shoulder to read the rest of James's song.

"Me too." Carlos added. "What made you write it?"

James bit his lip. "I - it's not important."

"C'mon, tell us." Kendall prodded him.

James sighed. "I was just thinking about…you… and the words just, like, came out, I guess." He could feel the tears coming but he fought them back, his throat and chest aching as he tried to keep his cool.

Kendall sighed. "James." he reached out for his hand and James drew back almost immediately. His hands were so cold. A sickly type of cold. It felt like a shock had been sent throughout his body. "James, it's ok." Kendall whispered.

"It's ok that you're going to die and there's nothing any of us can do about it?" James asked him, lifting up his head to send Kendall a teary-eyed glare. Kendall shrunk back upon seeing the look on James's face. James was pretty even-tempered and seeing him get so mad was kind of scary.

"James has a point you know." Carlos said softly, fighting back tears of his own. "It's not ok anymore Kendall."

"It is ok because I'm going to be ok." Kendall tried to sound confident and sure but his voice was breaking as a result of tears starting to build up in his eyes. "You guys have to believe that I'm going to be ok."

"How can we believe that when you're so sick that you can barely leave your house anymore?" James demanded. Tears were spilling down his cheeks and he threw himself up into a standing position, starting to pace. "I mean, you're always talking about how you're going to be ok but you don't know that Kendall. You don't know that it's all going to be ok so stop patronizing us for once and open your eyes to what's going on!"

"You think I don't know?" Kendall shakily stood up and positioned himself in front of James, forcing the taller boy to halt in his walk. "What do you want me to say then James? Do you want me to say that I'm going to die and there's nothing you guys can do about it? Is that what you wanna hear?"

"No." James choked back a sob.

Kendall's expression softened and he wrapped his arms around James, pulling him into a tight hug. "Then what do you want James?" he asked.

"It's not what I want, it's what I don't want." James replied, his voice muffled as a result of him pressing his face into Kendall's shoulder. "I don't want you to be sick and I don't want you to die." his voice broke on the word 'die' and his body started shaking with sobs. Kendall gently led him over to the couch and forced him to sit down next to Logan. Carlos climbed up onto the couch and seated himself on the other side of Kendall. He and Logan were silently crying as well.

"Ok, all three of you- listen to me." Kendall said. He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked from Carlos to James and Logan. "What did I promise you guys in the second grade?"

"You promised that we'd be bestest friends forever." Logan replied, sniffling.

"Exactly. And I intend on keeping that promise. When I said forever, I meant it."

James, Carlos, and Logan all believed him. Kendall had promised them forever and they all believed him. But that night he had broken his promise. And because of that, James, Carlos, and Logan all hated September.

A/N: ok so chapter one has come to an end. I hope you all like it because I worked really hard on it (: I gotta say that writing this really tugged at my heartstrings :p and I'm sorry I had to kill Kendall but I tried to do it in the most un-painful way possible, so I should get points for that right? lol. anways, please tell me what you all think! :D I love your feedback (: