you'd better not die

Disclaimer: Not mine. Kubo-sama's. O.O

Pairings: UraYoru

Summary: Urahara's pretty determined to live.

Urahara thinks he has girls figured out by the time he's about 100 years old. The man had grown up with five sisters and a mother after all, and if that doesn't teach you a thing or two about the fair sex, nothing will. So he's pretty sure he'll have no trouble when he's assigned to the human world with one of them.

Then he actually meets Yoruichi, and nothing makes sense anymore.

"You better not die," she told him seriously once, after a particularly harrowing battle. He just grinned cheekily and replied, "I know. If I die you'll kill me again," because that's exactly what one of his sisters would have said.

She gave him this sweet smile and leaned in close. "No," she answered, her ample breasts pressing against his pale skin, "That's impossible, and totally unoriginal anyway. You wanna know what I'd do to you if you died?"

Urahara had swallowed nervously. "Not really..."

But she'd continued on as if she hadn't heard him. "I'd hunt down your body, chop off your dick, and cut it into little pieces. Then I'd burn it, and put the ashes in your mother's soup."

Since then, Urahara's self-preservation survival instincts have increased dramatically. He couldn't tell you why.

:Owari: