Holly J was way too excited to read a journal but she just couldn't stop thinking about it. Sure it was weird, Rick was dead, and he wasn't exactly loved around here, but she needed to know about him. Her sister Heather had mentioned him once or twice, she was such a gossip queen and Holly J was glad she moved away to be with her boyfriend. She left the school to her, and Holly J was the queen bee, feared and looked up to. She kicked her shoes off and crawled into her bed the lamp on her side desk and opened the book.

"Dear Journal,

I made it through with just a black eye, I'm kind of happy. I know I shouldn't be but it could be much worse if said something wrong, but I didn't so I am happy. Please don't judge me; this is a very good moment for me. I barely cried. One tear this time so maybe that's why I got off so good. My mom is in her room, my dad is yelling. Apparently we are moving to Toronto Canada, my dad got a raise. My mom is yelling because she doesn't want to move, she's yelling about how we finally got me help. I'm only writing in here for her. She needs me to try and help her, and that's what I'm going to do. I have to stay strong for her. I hope that she will stop defending me; it'll only hurt her worse. I love her. She helps me too much. She doesn't deserve to hurt. Richard he calls me. Richard, I hate that name. It's his name. My mom calls me Rick everyone calls me Rick. I don't have very many friends but I try to make friends. I don't want to move but I'm not going to fight it. Maybe this will be good. Maybe I'll make friends and be able to hang out with friends, and maybe my dad will get happier. Please god let this be good, I just want things to be okay with my life again, I can barely fall asleep at night. I just want to be able to look forward to waking up. Please don't let me turn out like him. I have to go, I hear him coming to my room. He doesn't sound happy. I'm worried.

-Rick."

Holly J was in shock over what she had just read. He was abused… the words played in her head. Poor Rick. A black eye, from his own father. She couldn't imagine living her life like that. She knew how his life had ended, but it was horrible. People needed to know the real Rick, but not before she finished finding out more things about him. What made him decide to bring a gun to school, and why Jimmy? Why Emma Nelson? Why Toby and Sean? She kept reading she needed closure, she knew she wasn't going to find any but she was blowing off her boyfriend because she was too engrossed in someone else's life. It was worth it though because it wasn't gossip. It was important. It wasn't school and it wasn't ACT work but it was important, it was. She was trying to convince herself it was important as she turned the page.

"Dear journal,

I'm sorry I couldn't write back last night. I got in trouble for going to the therapist. Like that is my fault. We're moving tomorrow. I packed all of my things up. All of the things that mattered, that is. Everything else can be trashed for all I care. It's not my fault I went to the therapist. I liked her, sure it was one day but she acted like she cared unlike everyone else in my life. I'll never be able to go back. So I hope that she was wrong, that it doesn't run in the family. Either way, I'll be starting Degrassi tomorrow, and I don't really want to. It's scary but I'll just stay low and I won't talk to anyone. Things are better that way. Keeping things built up in side of me is how I take care of the pain. Speaking of which, last night, when he found about the therapist, he hurt me. I don't really want to talk about it, but the Dr. said I should. So here it goes… I went down stairs and he was waiting on the couch, that's how you know something bad was going to happen. My mother was in the corner blood dripping through her fingers as she covered her face. My body got cold. I hate him. I made my way towards the couch and stood in front of him. I didn't say anything to him though, because why would I even want to look at that man, he hurt my mom. I was resisting the urge to run over to my mom, and grab and leave. There's no way that I would have been able to stop him and get us out safe. So I just clenched my fists and I waited. I waited for the pain I knew was coming. He's smart you know, he hits you in places you can hide easily. Never on my face, because I have to go to school, the ribs, legs, arms, just not the face. I flinched when he stood up. It was all downhill from there. He came at me fast. I couldn't even register that he hit me until I was against the wall… I heard something crack and the impact made my eyes go black. I couldn't see, but I could feel it. He kicked me with his steel toe boots, multiple times. I felt blood dripping but I don't know where it was coming from. He didn't stop and I am not even sure I knew when I went to bed. I can barely move but it will be easy to lay low when you can't even move. Long sleeves. Good thing Canada is cold.

-Rick"