Hello. I've been viciously inactive for a myriad of reasons, but the first of which is - well, I was working on this. It was for the Minibang Challege on LJ - please, do look it up; some very talented authors wrote stories that I loved very much.

This is a very... long... piece that took me since May to complete, but I hope that you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It will be updated in parts (sigh, I have no tiiiime). Also, I may be re-writing the ending...

Err... warnings are for later smut and some language, as well as ideologically sensitive material. You know the drill.

"H… hi Liet..."

The voice came out of the dim lamplight, so much more hesitant, more fragile than he ever imagined it could be. So unsure. So scared. It hurt to know that the brash confidence that had always been taken for granted could be shaken so thoroughly. Toris dropped his school bag inside, closing the door with a click and staring. Feliks was in the middle of their shared dorm room, arms around himself in a parody of an embrace, as if protecting himself from Toris' gaze. It hid nothing – not the knee-length plaid skirt or the sky blue blouse or the dragonfly hairclips or the navy knee-socks… Toris had known all along, of course, but at the same time the sight hit him like a physical weight.

Feliks' half-flooded green eyes met Toris' own misty ones and without hesitation Toris crossed to Feliks' side, wrapping his arms around him.

"Feliks…"

"W-wh… what do you think?"

Toris did not know what to think. He buried his nose in Feliks' scalp. He did not want to think. But… but Feliks needed this.

"You are beautiful, mano meilė," he murmured into the hair that had always smelled of strawberries. "So, so beautiful. Sh… so don't cry, Feliks, you are so pretty so don't cry."

Feliks did not reply, stepping back and scrubbing at his face but tears kept flowing. "Thanks, Liet. Thank you." They ran down his cheek in rivulets, blurring the line of blush so carefully brushed on. Feliks kept wiping his face with one hand, the other reaching for a handkerchief he had placed inside his blouse.

"Its okay," Toris said, taking the handkerchief with trembling fingers and wiping Feliks' face, smoothing the makeup, drying the tears. "It'll be okay." Feliks never cried. Never.

Feliks nodded, kissing Toris in a kiss that tasted of salt and lipgloss. "You're not going to leave me, right? Just because…"

Toris shook his head, smiling sadly. "I'm not going to leave you over something as… small… as this. I know how much this means to you. I think I've known for awhile."

"I can't tell everyone right away. I don't want them to see me like this."

"Take your time. You have all the time you need. I'll still be here."

No matter what trouble Feliks seemed to get into, Toris would always be there for him. Always.