Well, hello there. Dark Fortresses here. I'd like to mention that this is a birthday present for JeeNoo. Go send a "happy birthday" message. Anyway, I had this idea in July, wrote it, and finished more than 2 months before it was supposed to be finished. Enjoy! (Especially you, JeeNoo.)

I wasn't exactly sure on what to get Leo for her birthday, so I thought it would be a good idea to get 5 people to write down what they liked about her, how they met, and so on. I know it may not be anything expensive, but it's definitely the heart that counts. That's what I was always told as a child. And Leo should fallow this, because frankly, she doesn't.

1.Well, I don't know what I liked about her, other than one fact, and one fact only. She looked like a boy. When I discovered that I was kinda turned on by her buckled shirt, I wondered if I was gay or not. But it turns out I am not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But I don't want a boyfriend.

We met in the tournament, obviously. But more specifically, she tackled me. Yes, she American football-style tackled me. I have no idea why though. It may be because she likes my shirt or something.

Happy Birthday, Miguel Caballero Rojo

2.First, I'd like to say that my favorite quote from her is "What country are you from, anyway? You look like you're from Egypt, but the way you fight is Indian looking. I'm just confused." That is CLASSIFIED information, woman! And don't think of forcing me to tell you! You won't EVER get me to tell you! Anyway, I like Leo's jacket. It reminds me of that one Japanese show, with that little yellow mouse thing, and the spazzy main character... I can't remember the title though. I think it ended in "nom". Someone please tell me what it is.

Like many, we met in the tournament. I first noticed her when she randomly tackled the Spanish man. It was absolutely hilarious. I never expected someone that skinny to tackle a man that large and succeed. Seriously.

Best wishes, Zafina

3.Hello there, Leo. I was told to write something about you. First of all, I'd like to say that you look like Ellen DeGeneres. Don't take that as an insult, as Ellen is awesome in every way. Anyway, I first acknowledged you when you had scribbled all over my face with green eyeliner. It took me almost half an hour to get it off, and I almost missed my fight with Craig! Why thank you, Leo! At least I beat him. But he was laughing at me the whole fight!

Other than the eyeliner incident, my fondest memory with Leo was in a restauraunt. Yes, a restauraunt. That may seem like it may not be a good memory, but she finished a whole rack of ribs before I could finish the meal I got. And the ribs came AFTER mine! That is absolute craziness!

Sincerely, Lars Alexandersson

4.Finally, I get to write something. Yay. It took Lars long enough to write what he wrote. He writes so slow! He didn't even write that much! But that's enough ranting for now. I should write something that has to do with Leo. Well, the first thing she asked me is, "Is there a child hiding in your shirt?" No, Leo, there is not a child in my shirt. I'm pretty sure that would send me to jail. And I do not want to go to jail. That would be bad for my reputation and I would like to go to the next Tournament. And I plan on winning, like everyone else. That's the TRUE reason everyone enters. People like money. I like money, and I know you like money.

Anyway, a good memory I had with Leo was when she and I were outside of the hotel all of the participants stayed at. She had a little feud with Lili, you know her right? Anyway, Leo saw her, and she told me, "Quick! Hide me in your tummy!" She actually tried that, but it didn't work out very well, and she was almost arrested for sexual assault. Yes. Somehow I think she would try it again. Please, Leo, I do not want to feel violated ever again.

Wishin' you the best, Bob

5.Well, hi, Leo. It's Steve. Somehow, Bob convinced me to write you something for your birthday. I hate to say this, but I've always known of your infatuation with me. Actually, I really like saying that. And I think I could actually date you. Like it wouldn't be impossible. Oh, and I heard about that one date with Hwoarang, and that was HILARIOUS! I always knew he was bad with dates. Did you know he had a date with Christie once? Of course not, because she doesn't like to talk about that experience. I had to pay her what I'd usually make in a few months to actually get her to tell me about it, and I can't tell you about it, because if I did, I'd be turned into a woman. And I'm sure you wouldn't want that. Have a nice birthday for me, okay?

Love, Steve Fox

Well, I hope this is a half decent present. And I thought you'd like knowing what your little Stevie thinks of you. Like Steve said, have a nice birthday for me. For all of us who wrote you something. For the WORLD... okay, not the world, just everyone that likes you. Because you know, I know, and all of your friends know that you do not like Lili.

JeeNoo, if you don't like this, I'll be very sad. But I'm sure you will. So I hope you enjoyed this. Happy hunting.