Hello. I am The Happiness, and I am here to disclaim the Character's used in this story.

A small introduction for you. This story uses the concept of the movie 'It's a Boy Girl Thing'. It's a great movie, and you should see it if you haven't, but anyway, I just thought I'd give you that introduction first. This is going to be a lot different from the movie, and it's going to use the Character's we all love and know. So enjoy my story, I know I enjoyed writing it for you guys.

Chapter One: The Beginning

It was a nice, dark day when the Witch Princess stepped from her house in the gloriously muddy swamps. The mist rose from them beautifully, and there was a stench of stale bread even though she was certain there was no bread anywhere near the swamp. She took in a deep breath and exhaled happily, the air rejuvenating her spirit. She started walking forward slowly, with purpose towards the exit of the swamp. She didn't exactly want to go, but she would be able to come back and linger in the swamp's gloriousness later. Truth was, she had run out of supplies, and, after stepping outside she realized that today was just too nice of a day to teleport anywhere. She took her time about it, but eventually she went to the entrance of the forest and stepped inside. The forest was misty and smelled of old mushrooms, just the way she liked it. It was muggy, yet sent shivers down your spine at the same time. It was a perfect day for a picnic! She was sure to find a couple of fugue mushrooms tomorrow with this weather!

Okay, so she had some weird tastes, but she was a Witch Princess, what did you expect? At least she didn't have a wart on her nose. Even though it was the height of fashion for witches in Paris, she thought herself more of a country girl anyway. And besides, she liked her basic wardrobe. She was more of a witch, and less of a fashionista. Nobody saw her anyway, so what was the point of a wart? The Witch Princess took her sweet time about the forest, so she could gather mushrooms and herbs. She put them in her basket and wandered on, enjoying her glorious time alone in the gloomy and wonderfully creepy forest.

Upon exiting the forest she couldn't help but feel just a little sad. It was only raining out here. There was no wonderful mist that caressed her skin, and there wasn't a hint of any smell. Even the mushrooms by the entrance seemed to have their wonderful stench bleached by the magic of flute fields. It was good magic.. but it wasn't as nearly as fun as her magic was. She wouldn't say her magic was bad exactly... but some of it was pretty iffy. A lot of people left quickly after she had assisted them.. but she never really knew if that was the eerie feeling of her home and the swamp, or the fact that her potions and spells called for ingredients like a weasel's tail, and hair of the yeti. Didn't they know how hard those things were to get?

The Witch's train of thought was thrown off when she heard loud, angry shouting. Quickly and quietly, the Witch hid in the bushes It was Cain and Hanna.. and they were really getting at each other too. She wondered what the happy couple had to argue about. She always thought that Ruth and Craig were the ones that argued the most, even though as of late they'd been pretty happy. The Witch's ears forcefully tuned to the argument. In her defense, they were shouting loud enough for the people in Castanet to hear.

"You do nothing all day!" Cain shouted, pacing back and forth angrily in the rain. He stopped and pointed an accusing finger at Hanna. "You complain about everything! The eggs, the milk, hey, you even complain about being fat, when you know damn well that it's your own damn fault!" Cain started to pace back and forth again, his face red with anger as he kept on with his rant. "You can't do anything. Heck, you can't even order a doctor for the cow. 'Oh, the medicine will do just fine', you said. And now guess what? Our prize cow is sicker than before! It's all your fault!" Cain shouted, breathing heavily.

The Witch watched on shocked, not yet noticing another shadow in the forest, which was oblivious to her presence was well.

Hanna was stunned for only a moment before countering. "I do do something all day mister! Without me, we wouldn't have any money, or a house! You complain that I don't do anything? Why don't you try to sell goods! You probably wouldn't be able to in this life or the next! You are a low down farmer's boy and that's all you'll ever be!" It was Hanna's turn to be mad now, "You saw I don't do anything? Well, it's not my fault that I'm fat, maybe it's your fault! Maybe you complain about me not doing anything! Maybe that's stressful to a woman! Maybe it's the fact that we haven't done anything remotely intimate in over a year!"

"Well maybe it's because your a fat cow!" Cain roared.

"Well maybe it's because you're the biggest ass the world has ever had the displeasure of knowing!" Hanna screamed.

As the two bickered back and forth, the Witch heard another rustle in the bushes and a small sob. It was from Renee.. The Witch could tell. And she was talking to herself. Or so she thought at first. As the Witch strained to listen over the bickering couple outside of the tree cover, she realized that Renee was muttering a prayer.. and it sounded like it hadn't been the first.

"Goddess, why me? I've prayed and asked so many times for them to stop, but you haven't stopped it yet! Please, listen to me.." Renee sobbed lightly in the darkness of the forest, and suddenly the witch felt like she was intruding on something very special. Prayers aren't meant to be heard by outside parties.. but The Witch couldn't help but listen in. It seemed like nothing had been going right for Renee. She and Toby had had a fight themselves not too long ago when she'd snapped at him for pushing for the answer after he'd asked her what was wrong. He'd stormed off, and she was sorry, and she really couldn't deal with anything like this, especially right now.

The witch stepped out of the forest and sneaked of, unbeknownst of Hanna, Cain, and Renee. The witch felt bad, but she was certain they'd work it out. After all, they'd been married for years, and they'd even had Renee. Renee on the other hand.. maybe she'd send Renee a note to come for tea and they'd talk about it. They had seemed like such a loving family before.. how did things change so suddenly? Suddenly, the Witch had a small vision. It seemed like the Goddess was snoozing on the job. Or, so she thought. It was entirely likely, seeing as this loving family had been pulled apart by the sickness of their prize winning cow, a totally trivial thing to be fighting about.

The witch started to leave flute fields feeling more uncomfortable than before, and she was almost out when she saw two people talking across the bridge. Thankful she hadn't been seen yet , she lightly scrambled for the refuge of the watermill and stepped inside silently. But, overhearing Chase and Gill having a casual talk, she couldn't help but be curious. She stepped over the equipment, making sure she didn't get caught or anything and she peeked out the window. Chase and Gill were laughing with each other, almost hysterically. Chase was almost to tears. The witch almost felt like laughing, but something stopped her. Chase and Gill hadn't been that good of friends... they were both normally pretty cold. That meant what they were laughing about had the potential to be worse than freezing rain. The Witch wasn't surprised when she found out that her thoughts had been utterly and harshly correct.

"Oh my god, you should hear the things she says to me." Chase said, wiping the tears from his eyes. "She flaunts herself, and drapes herself all over me. But she's the worst cook in the world. I wouldn't touch that if she had Double D's and all the money in the world." Chase laughed and ruffled his hair. He was beautiful and he knew it. The Witch scowled and immediately thought he needed to be knocked down a few pegs. Especially when talking about a sweet girl like Maya. How could anybody hate her that much? She tried her hardest to be with Chase, she'd even asked the Witch herself for help, but the Witch's strict, 'no love potions' policy rang clear, and instead the Witch had given her the advice to find out what he liked and try to do it. That was where her obsession with becoming a good cook came from.

Gill laughed. "I know what you mean. Luna thinks she's all that, but she's got the body of a twelve year old and the mentality of an old married woman. She's pushy, bossy, she's not even my girlfriend and she demands to know where I've been. Ugh! And that hair!" Gill ran his hand through his hair and then crossed his arms. Well, Luna may have been bossy... hell, she may have been a bitch, but that made the two a perfect match. He was a bastard, thinking about a girl like that. She couldn't help it! It was how she wanted to act. She shouldn't have to change just for Gill to like her. Maybe she didn't even like Gill! ... Okay, that was a lie. The Witch had to put out a fire when Luna had tried to make a love potion of her own. Only she could stop it because it was a witch fire, and it had destroyed half of the clothing in the Tailor's Shop. The Witch had warned her from doing it again, and had to leave.

Chase laughed, "You think Luna's hair is bad! Have you seen Maya's pigtails? She looks like Chloe decided to style her hair every morning."

"Yeah you're right," Gill doubled over laughing, "Maya's hair is horrible. And it looks frail too." The Witch scowled once more. These two were worse than two middle aged gossip queens who lived off of insulting others. They were the goblins of Castanet! Perfectly horrible Goblins! And the Witch would know, she'd met quite a variety in her lifetime. The swamp didn't just contain her and some animals. Quite a few goblins came into the swamp who were perfectly polite. But these two would be the worst of the worst in their crew.

"You have no idea how right you are." Chase said, rolling his eyes, "I find those disgusting orange hairs on everything. And I know it's not mine, it's a bit lighter than mine, and definitely longer. It's like she's a shedding cat. But at least she doesn't smell like Luna."

Gill cracked up at this. "You're right about that. She dumps so much perfume on I can't smell anything but her for a week. And god does it give me a headache. It smells terrible too. But I guess Maya probably smells like all of her failed dishes."

"Ugh," Chase said, "You're right. She smells like smoked garbage. But most of the time it's a mix between a mushed banana mixed with a salmon and sardine fillet and sprinkled with enough lemon juice and sugar to make you sick."

"Ha," Gill said, "Let's just agree that they're both pretty bad."

"Agreed." Replied Chase with another laugh. They started down the road back to Castanet, and the Witch finally realized that they'd both come down to buy some fruits and vegetables from the farm. Maybe they had provoked the fight between Hanna and Cain by going over there as well.. But she guessed that it was probably a coincidence, seeing as they didn't have any dairy products, and they didn't seem upset by the kind of fighting Hanna and Cain had been doing just a second ago. It was still perfectly mean to say those things though. Witch tried to piece the pieces of the puzzle together, but it was like trying to fit a piece of toast into a marshmallow.

Suddenly, the door to the watermill burst open, and the Witch ducked, watching with a careful eye. There were two people, obviously sucking their faces off. The witch wasn't really concerned, she just hoped they didn't decide to hook up in the watermill while she was in it... and the watermill? How classy. But after a minute or so of gasping for air, the two faces pulled apart.

This caught the Witch Princess' attention. It was Toby and Cathy! Cathy's eyes glittered with lust, and Toby's face was smiling, the Witch could tell this from the way his cheekbones were raised on his face. The Witch Princess blinked. Now she knew the Goddess was sleeping. Toby and Cathy went back to making out, and the Witch Princess shook her head. Toby pressed his body up against Cathy's and they backed into a wall.

"Oh Goddess Toby, I want you now." Toby didn't reply, but pressed his lips against hers roughly, grabbing her thigh and lifting it around his waist.

What was this town coming to? Fighting? Insults? Gossip! CHEATING! That was it. She couldn't stand any of it anymore. She knew none of this was right. And as Cathy and Toby did the ultimate act of distrust right inside the watermill, the Witch snapped, and decided that today was the perfect day to teleport after all.

The Witch's teleport only took a fraction of a second to do. She ended up right where she needed to be. Or so she thought.

"Damn it!" The Witch exclaimed looking around. She had ended up on top of the highest house in the Garmon Mine area instead of Castanet Town. She was going to teleport again when she saw a strange scene in front of her. Owen and Angela were staring at each other, on edge. She didn't know what edge they were on though. They were both tense, and she thought that maybe they were playing a game, but Owen's face was much too tense for it to be a game. It wasn't anything having to deal with strength, or maybe it was. Angela may have been small, but she was a mighty farmer. She had been lucky as well. Not only was she strong, but she was born with assets most of the girls here weren't, and she was still chaste. The Witch found this amazing, and commendable, but she had no clue what the two were up to now. They didn't seem to see her. In fact, nobody seemed to see her today. Normally she would've been quite an odd appearance. That being said, Owen wasn't that bad looking either. He was very muscular, and had the chiseled face of an Angel.. but he wasn't so chaste. Maybe it was sexual tension? It could've been, but the glances would've been... well.. less edgy?

As the Witch begged for it not to be another fight, Owen pulled out his hammer. The Witch gasped lightly, but then, Angela pulled out her hammer. "There's no way you could beat me two times in a row. That last one was a fluke.

"Oh really?" Angela questioned, "We'll see."

It was then that the Witch knew what was going on. There were two rocks of the same exact shape, size, form and weight in front of them. Two huge rocks. They were going to see whose was demolished first. That was okay, but it sounded like Angela had won last time... and she knew as well as anybody that Owen was a sore loser. He was pretty big on revenge. In fact, he'd come to the Witch multiple times for things that would hinder his opponent in one thing or the next. And they'd always been in discreet, minor ways, but he'd used them nonetheless. Hey, he paid good money, and he kept her business running. He also helped her out from time to time by chatting about the people of Castanet. This was how she knew about people, but people didn't know much about her. Many people were too scared to even come close to the Witch Princess. Angela wasn't a sore loser at all.. but she was a sore winner. The Witch had a nagging feeling that this wasn't going to end up well.

Mira and Ramsey had been sitting on the porches of their businesses, watching on. Chloe was nowhere in sight. Dale was the one that was judging whose rock fell apart faster, and Bo was glaring at Dale as he was forced to drag a tree to the back of the lumberyard building. The look was unnerving, but the witch understood. Dale was playing silly games and making Bo do more work than he really had to. She wondered what Dale would do in this situation.. But the thought was quickly erased from her mind as Dale shouted, "GO!"

The Race was on, but the results were more than clear. Angela was both faster and at the same strength as Owen, without looking like a female body builder. In fact, she looked more like a playboy bunny, which probably irked Owen even more. Angela's rock was done long before Owen's had gotten half way. Dale called it, and Owen threw down his hammer, storming off to the mine.

As Angela did her celebratory dance, Owen brooded in the mouth of the cave. Ramsey laughed his old man laugh, and Mira just sat, calculating.

"Lighten up Mira! The girl won!" Ramsey said, enjoying the competition. Mira frowned and looked at him. "Oh, quiet old man. I don't think gloating is very proper for a lady."

Julius came out, and Angela made a 'suck it' motion at Owen before calming down and picking up her hammer. Julius smirked. Angela laughed heartily and then sat down, cooling herself off.

"Angela won again?" Julius questioned. It was Ramsey that answered. "Did you think any different after that celebration?"

Mira just shot a look at Ramsey who laughed even more before heading inside. Julius and Mira just sat watching Angela, and Owen went farther into the mine. Bo was still trying to pull the tree into the Lumberyard as Dale went back inside, paying no attention to Bo, and his need for help. The Witch Princess wondered where Luke was briefly before remembering where she was originally headed. But, she needed to do something.. It was obvious that the people she'd seen earlier weren't the only people she needed to change. Almost everybody was fighting and arguing... and she realized that arguing was a natural part of life, but it was tearing this once peaceful town apart.

The witch snapped her fingers and closed her eyes, sighing. If the goddess wouldn't do anything, then she swore she would. The witch finally appeared nearer to her destination. She found herself at the stairs to the graveyard. The witch sighed and rubbed her temples. It sufficed to say that she didn't teleport to town often. The witch decided that she would rather walk then teleport, and sighed, taking the stairs one by one up to the Church Court yard. The sun was starting to come out now, and it was hurting her eyes. She started sweating, and panting, and groaning. She thought she couldn't go any farther.. and she had only gone up six steps. She decided to take a small break, and she sat on one of the steps, before listening into another 'not so sweet' conversation.

"Haha preacher boy! You can't even defend yourself!" Chloe said. It was obvious she was throwing something at Perry, but the Witch Princess didn't know what.

"I don't need to. What you do to me is done unto you ten times by the goddess." Perry informed, obviously not phased, "It may hurt now, but it'll hurt a lot more to you later."

"The Goddess doesn't exist!" Chloe said, "I've been up to that place, there's nobody there! And the Goddess wouldn't make Ramsey suffer every single day because of his back."

"Everything happens for a reason." Perry said again. Something else was chucked at him, but he dodged it, and it shattered against the wall of the church.

"No! My mom didn't have to die! That didn't happen for a reason! That was just plain cruelty by some being laughing at us!" Chloe said, throwing something, and this time hitting her target.

"If you're troubled, the Goddess will console you!" Perry exclaimed.

"That's not true!" Chloe shouted, "I have to console myself. Why do you think I'm throwing things at you, huh?"

"Because you're not letting the Goddess inside your heart!"

Chloe gave a sarcastic laugh, "Right, like I haven't heard that one before. Tell me something Perry." Chloe said, throwing something that made Perry drop to his knees in pain, "Where's your Goddess now? Why isn't she saving you?"

"Everything.. for a reason.." Perry said, almost unable to get the words out.

"Yeah. The reason being," Chloe paused, "That she obviously doesn't like you. Nobody visits the church. You just got assaulted by a hoard of fruit. Can you think of a good reason the Goddess would do that to you?" Chloe questioned.

Perry was silent, his head down.

"I didn't think so. How fitting. The person I hate most covered with the food I hate most." Chloe said darkly before heading down into the small village of Castanet. As soon as she was gone, The Witch heard Perry's almost silent weeping, and the smell of rotten fruit came to her nose. Finally, the Witch decided she couldn't take it anymore and she stood up, walking up the stairs.

The scene in front of her was shocking. There Perry was, covered with rotten tomatoes and potato peelings, weeping to himself. She even saw a can of peas still rolling around. The Witch ran to him right away and picked him up. He was still sobbing, so he probably didn't care that a Witch was holding him. He folded his arms around her neck and cried into her shoulder, like a child that had become lost in a grocery store for five hours. The Witch did the liberty of cleaning him up instantly, with the feeling of a fresh clean shower feeling.

"Why did the Goddess leave me alone?" Perry questioned while crying.

Damn. What was the witch supposed to say to that? He was just a kid.. but she didn't want to lie to him. So, she didn't.

"I'm sorry.. she was sleeping." The Witch said. And with that, she put him down in a clean spot, patted his head, and headed down into Castanet town, leaving Perry shocked and blushing. He got up, brushing himself off, and headed back inside, watching warily behind him.

The witch had seen enough. She'd seen so much corruption that the Goddess had conveniently 'fell asleep' for. Boy did it make her mad. The Goddess was supposed to take care of the people! What in the hell was she doing? Goddesses didn't get sick. The bells were all in working order, was she purposely ignoring people? Or was she off flirting with the Harvest God again? If there was one thing she knew about the Goddess that nobody else knew is that she was shallow. Many a man had come to her looking for love, and she shot them all down. She didn't want anybody that didn't have power. Everyone else was out of the question. The God was first priority. She just took care of the people because the God liked that she was so kind and caring. The Witch blew her bangs out of her face and rounded the corner to the Wizard's house. She was going to need something extra special for this recipe.

The Witch didn't bother knocking on the door, but instead only stepped inside. She wished she hadn't though. He was right in the middle of one of his 'moods'. You knew the wizard was in a 'mood' when he had a whole plate of fugue mushrooms and was contemplating whether to eat them or not. It may have been surprising, but the Fugue Mushrooms were high in calories.. and the Wizard had a pretty low self esteem. He fussed over his weight more than Maya fussed over Chase. The Witch blinked and the Wizard looked up. He stood up put the mushrooms away, and came back to the doorway. "To what do I owe this.. torture session?" The Wizard questioned. The Witch only smiled politely. "You don't happen to have any black licorice do you?"

The Wizard blinked. "Why?" The Witch frowned. "I was hungry."

"That's a lie." The Wizard put blankly, "I know what black licorice is used for."

"Aw, come on.. please? I won't do anything terrible with it I promise. It's just that.. well.. today has been a bad day, and a client came in and asked for something I normally don't do. But, I decided to make an exception."

"Would the client happen to be yourself?" The Wizard questioned.

The witch sighed. "Yes, but it's reeeeeeeeeeally important! Besides! You owe me for that time you turned me into a frog!"

The Wizard tensed up. "Fine. But that's the only time you get to use that excuse. How much?"

The Witch smiled. "How much do you have?"

This is the end of the excruciatingly long first chapter! Don't worry, the other chapters won't be near as long, I promise. 3000 words max from now on. *happy face* Thanks for reading, don't forget to review and tell me what you think.