Belongings
Heero: Choices
Part one
A Gundam Wing Fan fiction by Louise Tjandrasjahan
Heero was typing away furiously on his laptop, his eyebrows
furrowed deeply as he contemplated on what he had to say in his annual
report. It was one of the responsibilities he had to carry out as a fellow
Preventer, which had been his main occupation for the past few years.
Although he didn't have his Gundam anymore, soldiering was in his main
list of expertise, so he decided to accept the position together with his
past war comrades.
He didn't exactly understand what truly motivated him to join the
elite military group, accepting the preposition only because he had no
choice. He had been so used to orders and missions he almost couldn't
decide what was the best for him himself. The orders and missions had
been his whole life, at least until the war ended recently.
At least he was able to earn his own living and independence,
having noone to act as his guardian. Or should he say, people were very
reluctant to accept the responsibility of having him as their ward. Even at
the tender age of sixteen, he was forced to fend his own life. The only job
allowing him to be younger than eighteen was the Preventer, so he
practically had no choice.
In any case, he had to live, and he had to work in order to maintain
his own welfare. Not that he needed someone to take care of him. He
had always been alone for as long as he could remember and had taken
care of himself all right. Well, most of the time, anyway.
Except for one thing, no, one girl – a woman, he had to clarify. He
basically could never escape from the woman, and she very nearly drove
him into insanity with her antiques. Assault by assault, she had penetrated
his steel barriers of self-preservation, taking away his sense of confidence
and security, and stripping him of all his consciousness and logic. It wasn't
a rare occasion when he was self-driven to kill her, but he always ended
up rescuing her again, and again, and again…
Why?
Why did he keep messing around with his own logic?
Why must she always survive from his own strong principle that
'obstacle must die'?
She was Relena – a princess, a minister, and a diplomat. A bold,
slashing tongued woman he had always encountered or seen in the
broadcasts of world conferences. But she was also a girl – used to be a girl,
for she was now a fully-grown woman of twenty and two – who loved
fashion and boys and juicy gossips.
And a distraction as well. Don't believe it? Take at the moment, for
example.
Groaning, Heero saved his work in frustration and ceased his typing,
slumping against the back of his chair as he massaged the bridge of his
nose tiredly. His mouth formed a thin grim line. The thought of Relena had
always popped up into his mind in the most inconvenient time, mostly
when he needed his full concentration to do his work.
After wasting fifteen minutes trying to return to his work, he finally
gave up and shut down his laptop. Rising slowly to his feet, he cleared the
strewn books around him and walked straight to the kitchen. Placing a
mug of cold coffee into the microwave, he hopped onto the kitchen
counter and skimmed his surrounding in silent contemplation. His usually
stern dark eyes went dull as he discerned the quietness around him.
It was mostly nice to have a quiet surrounding, but he found himself
growing more and more attached to the liveliness of his comrade-at-arms,
especially Duo. Duo's jests mostly caused him to lose control of his temper,
but he couldn't help thinking Duo's smart mouthed remarks were actually
what keeping him sane as he unfolded the life before him.
And of course, there was also Relena.
How long had it been since he last heard her melodious chimes of
laughter? As far as he wanted to kill Duo for turning him into an
occasional laughing stock, he couldn't deny the effects Relena's laughter
had bestowed upon him. Should he call it a bless or a curse? First, his skin
would tingling uncomfortably as the melody entered his ears, but soon a
warm fuzzy feeling would pool into his mind, creating a nest of raw joy.
Nevertheless, he had yet to question his current state of happiness.
His apartment was on the second floor of the building – small and
simple, but well furnished with a style he could simply describe as
contemporary. He bought it soon after he had virtually taken off with his
career three, four years ago. So far his military career had been excellent,
and he had somehow patched up the things left in his persona after the
war.
It wasn't easy to live in a world so different from what he knew as a
little child, but he vowed he would survive even if it meant he had to
reconstruct his personality. It would be impossible to alter his personality
completely, but he was content to think of the idea as his temporary
major assignment. People had to survive, and only people with the will
and the flexibility would endure in this cruel, harsh world.
He had worked diligently and managed to claim the position as one
of Preventer's aces along with his four pilot comrades – Duo Maxwell,
Trowa Barton, Quatre Winner and Chang Wu Fei. However, unlike the four
of them, who had never considered Preventer as their main occupations,
he chose to commit himself completely in the arena, while Duo chose to
become a Priest, Trowa a famous Acrobat, Quatre the successor of his
father's world-spread oil company and Wu Fei a college student, pursuing
his dreams of becoming a scholar. Again, military was the only option for
him to lead a completely different life from his old days as a terrorist,
although he was also helping in Technical Department of Mobile Suit
Development.
As much as he denied it, he had been ecstatic when he had finally
given a chance to reassemble his life upon a brand new foundation,
although the path of career extended before him was a bit of a
disappointment. He secretly wished he had known other things so he was
allowed to pursue another career path, but he had reach an
understanding within himself, in any case.
It was rather a strong argument that his skill as a soldier was
formidable, and the world needed him for his skill alone, to maintain the
stage of peace they had attained so far. As Relena had clarified a few
years before, there was no such thing as true pacifism. Even peace had to
be gained by wars, by all means necessary. Reluctant at first, he
considered the option of going back to college, but in the end accepted
the fact that he was desperately needed and resigned to the job, a sign
he was now more open minded to the going-on in the world.
Heero winced as he heard a lighting strike, followed by a loud
thunder, and shook his head rapidly to shrug off the daze. At the same
time, his ears perked up as he heard the microwave tinkling weakly. His
coffee was ready.
As the pitter-patter of the rain echoed against the window glass
like musical notes, he languidly made his way toward the window, a mug
of coffee in one hand. His eyes narrowed in silent observation as he lifted
the flimsy material of the curtain with the back of his hand, watching as
the rain hit the cemented pavement on the ground floor of his apartment
in a harmonious rhythm.
Ah, it is raining, he mused, smiling.
He shivered slightly as cold seeped into his bare skin; reality finally
sank into his mind. Clad only in his jeans, he eyed himself and smirked at
the insufficiency of his attire. Heat had preoccupied the room awhile ago,
that was why he had taken off his top. But he apparently had to dig his
closet for a warm pullover now.
Smirking, he thought of how ironically different he was from the
Heero he had been six years ago.
As a teenager, he had been the entitled Perfect Soldier, cold and
calculating, with an endurance of steel. Now, with him retiring from the
not-so-affectionate title, he found himself being more and more spoiled by
the peace and the lack of action. The effects of cold weather had
apparently taken its toll on his body these days.
There were even times when he would just prefer lying on the bed,
curling like a lazy cat, with a mug of steamy hot chocolate by his bedside
table, reading some action comics or listening to soft, classical music. He
didn't even know he had it in him until Relena came one day and literally
forced him to listen to a composition by Dvorak, and the point had
eventually triggered his love in classical music.
Pleasure and bewilderment washed over him as he attempted to
cope with the new aspects of himself. It proved that the way to his
humanity was not all too impossible as he may see at the beginning. On
the other hand, he was also increasingly frightened by the fact that
sometimes he didn't recognise himself anymore. Everything happened too
damn fast for him.
Lifting the corners of his mouth ever so slightly, Heero slid the window
open, leaning forward to inhale the sweet scent of the rain. The drizzle
was sprinkled on his bare torso as a strong icy wind gushed inside, making
him clench his teeth as another shiver travelled down his spine, the hair on
the his nape prickled.
Inhaling some portion of fresh cool air, he ignored the chill and
placed his bottom on the sill carefully, before finally drawing both his legs
up. Swiftly, he fished a crushed pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his
jeans' pocket, and ignited one, puffing little circles of white smokes as he
swept the forest scenery before him. He smiled ironically as he glanced at
the other end of his cigarette, minimized into scorching burning ashes.
So much for the environmental campaign Relena had been
establishing all the time.
As the gauzy smoke blended into the air, Heero was suddenly
immersed in his recollections of more recent events, the drizzle being one
of the reminding factors.
His encounter with Relena had always been brief and non-eventful,
just like the transparent white smoke, fading as quickly as it was produced.
When was the last time he had a civil and proper conversation with
Relena? Their encounters were only limited to cordial greetings and polite
nods.
However, he once spent some quality time with her. Their
conversation always lingered in his mind, and he couldn't help going back
to the memory and mulling it over although he knew that he would not
solve his problems just by being silent.
He had met her in a rainy day, just like this one, a few months ago.
She had been walking alone in the lawn behind the walls of Preventer
Headquarters Building, favouring nobody's company despite her
bodyguard's insisting on following her for security reason. Being Relena, she
didn't heed their advice and proceed to do as she wished.
He had been outside her office and accidentally heard her
pleading for her privacy, her young voice filled with anxiety as she
explained, her patience strained, "Gentlemen, I'm old enough to take
care of myself. Besides, I'd be safe here. Noone would ever dream of
crossing their path into Preventer Headquarters. Even a professional
assassin would think twice before entering."
There had been a mumble coming from one of the men, then a
bang on the table. Heero smirked at the memory. They must have never
been caught in Relena's sudden temper flares. She might have looked like
an innocent little lady, but in reality, it wasn't wise to mess with her.
It was an understatement that she was trying to be meek and
modest in front of people, but he often caught her off guard with her fiery
persona when she was dealing with annoying subjects. And…oh boy,
wasn't he in big surprise when the door swung open, almost breaking his
nose in the process? A very angry Relena emerged, never once looking
the slightest sorry. Oh yes, she did attempt an apology, but her anger
must have dominated her mind at the moment.
Puffing more circles of smoke to the air, he smiled as he recalled the
seemingly surreal encounter.
Heero: Choices
Part one
A Gundam Wing Fan fiction by Louise Tjandrasjahan
Heero was typing away furiously on his laptop, his eyebrows
furrowed deeply as he contemplated on what he had to say in his annual
report. It was one of the responsibilities he had to carry out as a fellow
Preventer, which had been his main occupation for the past few years.
Although he didn't have his Gundam anymore, soldiering was in his main
list of expertise, so he decided to accept the position together with his
past war comrades.
He didn't exactly understand what truly motivated him to join the
elite military group, accepting the preposition only because he had no
choice. He had been so used to orders and missions he almost couldn't
decide what was the best for him himself. The orders and missions had
been his whole life, at least until the war ended recently.
At least he was able to earn his own living and independence,
having noone to act as his guardian. Or should he say, people were very
reluctant to accept the responsibility of having him as their ward. Even at
the tender age of sixteen, he was forced to fend his own life. The only job
allowing him to be younger than eighteen was the Preventer, so he
practically had no choice.
In any case, he had to live, and he had to work in order to maintain
his own welfare. Not that he needed someone to take care of him. He
had always been alone for as long as he could remember and had taken
care of himself all right. Well, most of the time, anyway.
Except for one thing, no, one girl – a woman, he had to clarify. He
basically could never escape from the woman, and she very nearly drove
him into insanity with her antiques. Assault by assault, she had penetrated
his steel barriers of self-preservation, taking away his sense of confidence
and security, and stripping him of all his consciousness and logic. It wasn't
a rare occasion when he was self-driven to kill her, but he always ended
up rescuing her again, and again, and again…
Why?
Why did he keep messing around with his own logic?
Why must she always survive from his own strong principle that
'obstacle must die'?
She was Relena – a princess, a minister, and a diplomat. A bold,
slashing tongued woman he had always encountered or seen in the
broadcasts of world conferences. But she was also a girl – used to be a girl,
for she was now a fully-grown woman of twenty and two – who loved
fashion and boys and juicy gossips.
And a distraction as well. Don't believe it? Take at the moment, for
example.
Groaning, Heero saved his work in frustration and ceased his typing,
slumping against the back of his chair as he massaged the bridge of his
nose tiredly. His mouth formed a thin grim line. The thought of Relena had
always popped up into his mind in the most inconvenient time, mostly
when he needed his full concentration to do his work.
After wasting fifteen minutes trying to return to his work, he finally
gave up and shut down his laptop. Rising slowly to his feet, he cleared the
strewn books around him and walked straight to the kitchen. Placing a
mug of cold coffee into the microwave, he hopped onto the kitchen
counter and skimmed his surrounding in silent contemplation. His usually
stern dark eyes went dull as he discerned the quietness around him.
It was mostly nice to have a quiet surrounding, but he found himself
growing more and more attached to the liveliness of his comrade-at-arms,
especially Duo. Duo's jests mostly caused him to lose control of his temper,
but he couldn't help thinking Duo's smart mouthed remarks were actually
what keeping him sane as he unfolded the life before him.
And of course, there was also Relena.
How long had it been since he last heard her melodious chimes of
laughter? As far as he wanted to kill Duo for turning him into an
occasional laughing stock, he couldn't deny the effects Relena's laughter
had bestowed upon him. Should he call it a bless or a curse? First, his skin
would tingling uncomfortably as the melody entered his ears, but soon a
warm fuzzy feeling would pool into his mind, creating a nest of raw joy.
Nevertheless, he had yet to question his current state of happiness.
His apartment was on the second floor of the building – small and
simple, but well furnished with a style he could simply describe as
contemporary. He bought it soon after he had virtually taken off with his
career three, four years ago. So far his military career had been excellent,
and he had somehow patched up the things left in his persona after the
war.
It wasn't easy to live in a world so different from what he knew as a
little child, but he vowed he would survive even if it meant he had to
reconstruct his personality. It would be impossible to alter his personality
completely, but he was content to think of the idea as his temporary
major assignment. People had to survive, and only people with the will
and the flexibility would endure in this cruel, harsh world.
He had worked diligently and managed to claim the position as one
of Preventer's aces along with his four pilot comrades – Duo Maxwell,
Trowa Barton, Quatre Winner and Chang Wu Fei. However, unlike the four
of them, who had never considered Preventer as their main occupations,
he chose to commit himself completely in the arena, while Duo chose to
become a Priest, Trowa a famous Acrobat, Quatre the successor of his
father's world-spread oil company and Wu Fei a college student, pursuing
his dreams of becoming a scholar. Again, military was the only option for
him to lead a completely different life from his old days as a terrorist,
although he was also helping in Technical Department of Mobile Suit
Development.
As much as he denied it, he had been ecstatic when he had finally
given a chance to reassemble his life upon a brand new foundation,
although the path of career extended before him was a bit of a
disappointment. He secretly wished he had known other things so he was
allowed to pursue another career path, but he had reach an
understanding within himself, in any case.
It was rather a strong argument that his skill as a soldier was
formidable, and the world needed him for his skill alone, to maintain the
stage of peace they had attained so far. As Relena had clarified a few
years before, there was no such thing as true pacifism. Even peace had to
be gained by wars, by all means necessary. Reluctant at first, he
considered the option of going back to college, but in the end accepted
the fact that he was desperately needed and resigned to the job, a sign
he was now more open minded to the going-on in the world.
Heero winced as he heard a lighting strike, followed by a loud
thunder, and shook his head rapidly to shrug off the daze. At the same
time, his ears perked up as he heard the microwave tinkling weakly. His
coffee was ready.
As the pitter-patter of the rain echoed against the window glass
like musical notes, he languidly made his way toward the window, a mug
of coffee in one hand. His eyes narrowed in silent observation as he lifted
the flimsy material of the curtain with the back of his hand, watching as
the rain hit the cemented pavement on the ground floor of his apartment
in a harmonious rhythm.
Ah, it is raining, he mused, smiling.
He shivered slightly as cold seeped into his bare skin; reality finally
sank into his mind. Clad only in his jeans, he eyed himself and smirked at
the insufficiency of his attire. Heat had preoccupied the room awhile ago,
that was why he had taken off his top. But he apparently had to dig his
closet for a warm pullover now.
Smirking, he thought of how ironically different he was from the
Heero he had been six years ago.
As a teenager, he had been the entitled Perfect Soldier, cold and
calculating, with an endurance of steel. Now, with him retiring from the
not-so-affectionate title, he found himself being more and more spoiled by
the peace and the lack of action. The effects of cold weather had
apparently taken its toll on his body these days.
There were even times when he would just prefer lying on the bed,
curling like a lazy cat, with a mug of steamy hot chocolate by his bedside
table, reading some action comics or listening to soft, classical music. He
didn't even know he had it in him until Relena came one day and literally
forced him to listen to a composition by Dvorak, and the point had
eventually triggered his love in classical music.
Pleasure and bewilderment washed over him as he attempted to
cope with the new aspects of himself. It proved that the way to his
humanity was not all too impossible as he may see at the beginning. On
the other hand, he was also increasingly frightened by the fact that
sometimes he didn't recognise himself anymore. Everything happened too
damn fast for him.
Lifting the corners of his mouth ever so slightly, Heero slid the window
open, leaning forward to inhale the sweet scent of the rain. The drizzle
was sprinkled on his bare torso as a strong icy wind gushed inside, making
him clench his teeth as another shiver travelled down his spine, the hair on
the his nape prickled.
Inhaling some portion of fresh cool air, he ignored the chill and
placed his bottom on the sill carefully, before finally drawing both his legs
up. Swiftly, he fished a crushed pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his
jeans' pocket, and ignited one, puffing little circles of white smokes as he
swept the forest scenery before him. He smiled ironically as he glanced at
the other end of his cigarette, minimized into scorching burning ashes.
So much for the environmental campaign Relena had been
establishing all the time.
As the gauzy smoke blended into the air, Heero was suddenly
immersed in his recollections of more recent events, the drizzle being one
of the reminding factors.
His encounter with Relena had always been brief and non-eventful,
just like the transparent white smoke, fading as quickly as it was produced.
When was the last time he had a civil and proper conversation with
Relena? Their encounters were only limited to cordial greetings and polite
nods.
However, he once spent some quality time with her. Their
conversation always lingered in his mind, and he couldn't help going back
to the memory and mulling it over although he knew that he would not
solve his problems just by being silent.
He had met her in a rainy day, just like this one, a few months ago.
She had been walking alone in the lawn behind the walls of Preventer
Headquarters Building, favouring nobody's company despite her
bodyguard's insisting on following her for security reason. Being Relena, she
didn't heed their advice and proceed to do as she wished.
He had been outside her office and accidentally heard her
pleading for her privacy, her young voice filled with anxiety as she
explained, her patience strained, "Gentlemen, I'm old enough to take
care of myself. Besides, I'd be safe here. Noone would ever dream of
crossing their path into Preventer Headquarters. Even a professional
assassin would think twice before entering."
There had been a mumble coming from one of the men, then a
bang on the table. Heero smirked at the memory. They must have never
been caught in Relena's sudden temper flares. She might have looked like
an innocent little lady, but in reality, it wasn't wise to mess with her.
It was an understatement that she was trying to be meek and
modest in front of people, but he often caught her off guard with her fiery
persona when she was dealing with annoying subjects. And…oh boy,
wasn't he in big surprise when the door swung open, almost breaking his
nose in the process? A very angry Relena emerged, never once looking
the slightest sorry. Oh yes, she did attempt an apology, but her anger
must have dominated her mind at the moment.
Puffing more circles of smoke to the air, he smiled as he recalled the
seemingly surreal encounter.