To my Scribe:

My dear, thank you for your warm and tenderly rendered greetings; I am having a lovely birthday. The goblins have been generous enough to gift me with a few unexpected~ guests… I am only sorry you cannot be joining us today, pity…

Now my dear Paisley, much as I would love to accommodate you there are certain request I fear must go unanswered at this time. Is it my fault that some of the goblin community has a fond attachment to you and yours? I should think that you'd be~ elated and in seventh heaven that they are not on the offensive. As for your neighbors, I don't recall you ever worrying about what they think before…

The condition of your… what did you call it, ah yes, Sanitary District is not my doing. You can blame your fellow citizens for its condition. I assure you were my hand in it, it would be far worse than it is…

My cousin that Hobgoblin that seems to have developed a crush on you is your problem not mine. He is not a citizen of the Labyrinth and I won't be held accountable for his deeds, good or miss.

Your gargoyles and gnomes are having a bit of a holiday and helping my goblins to celebrate my birthday, (as a certain scribe should be doing… but is too busy with some fool boy in tights!) AS for that Scots Goblin MacFarten, you can have him! I don't want or need him.

Since you don't appreciate my thoughtful gift of the helping hands shower I shall take it back. But I warn you, I do this under duress…

I'll think about the rest once I've recovered from the party we are having here… that should be in a few months or so. Don't bother the old man, he'll be needing recovery time as well…

All my best,

Jareth