Yet Another Night of the Living Dead

Disclaimer: The Southside Misfits are creations of Aaron Whitaker. Raven belongs to Sunbow and Hasbro. All other characters belong to their respective owners. This is a story done simply for fun. And here's your quote: "Those s'more-making bastards!" - Stan Smith, American Dad

L1701E here! That's right, welcome to a brand new Halloween adventure starring the Southside Misfits! Enjoy!

Chapter 1: On the Way!

A road in Illinois

Vrrrrrrr...

A tour bus raced down a highway heading out of the Windy City. The bus was not an ordinary bus, as it housed a very special rock band: The Southside Rockers, a group of teenage mutant musicians that were becoming a quick sensation in the Midwestern U.S. The Southside Rockers were also a team of teenage superheroes: The Southside Misfits, an unofficial offshoot of the Misfit team.

Behind the driver's seat was Raven, a member of the GI Joe team. A former Cobra pilot, she eventually defected to the Joe team. She was ferrying the West Coast Misfits to a gig in Redstone, a small town in central Illinois. The inside of the bus was quite a sight.

Thanks to an earlier adventure where the Southside Misfits aided an alien race, they showed gratitude by modifying the bus with tessaract technology, which Southsider Johnny B called "TARDIS tech", making it very big and roomy on the inside. Inside, the young mutants resided and had some fun.

"You are kidding me." A teenage boy with a black mullet frowned as he crossed his arms. He was wearing black sunglasses, and a white lab coat over a pair of jeans and a purple-and-black checkerboard shirt with the top button undone and a thin yellow tie. He was sitting at a round wooden table with his feet up on a chair. Born John Bradley Goodwin, He was known as Johnny B. Goode as a joke on his name. His mutation granted him super-speed and the ability to generate electricity. He was also known for his genius intellect. Johnny B was one of the Southsiders' keyboardists as well.

"Oh, come on!" Another teenage boy argued, his dark hair cut shorter, with a blond streak in his bangs. He was wearing a Chicago Bears jersey with Walter Payton's number 34 on it and jeans. Michael Baxter, codenamed WrongWay as a joke on his mutant power to find anything, was the Rockers' bass guitarist and saxaphone player. He was the classic flirtatious joker of the group. He had a glass of soda next to him, and he and Johnny B were playing cards. "You have to admit, zombie films are the best kind of horror films."

"No way." Johnny B shook his head. "I prefer the alien invasion films. Besides, those zombie films are so stupid. They have no basis in reality."

"Neither do alien invasions, pal." WrongWay scowled.

"Uh, hello? This bus?" Johnny B waved. "Besides, those films show zombies being created by viruses or nerve gas. That can't happen in real life. Nerve gases cannot resurrect people, and viruses cannot survive long after the host bodies die. A virus cannot keep alive a complex multicellular being like a human the way they do in zombie films."

"You know, you are no fun, you know that? You just can't suspend disbelief, can you?"

"I can suspend disbelief, but only so much." Johnny B rolled his eyes. Observing this from a nearby couch was a blonde girl dressed in a rock t-shirt and red leather pants, holding a book she was reading. A stuffed bear was sitting next to her. Her right eye had a birthmark of a red four-pointed star on it. She was Jenni Starr, aka Shining Star. On the Southside Rockers, she occasionally played bass, but also played guitar for the group. Her mutation granted her the powers of hypnosis, and the ability to fire red energy beans from her hands and her eye.

"They're at it again." Jenni remarked to another girl sitting next to her. This girl had dark hair with red streaks in it, and she was wearing a black-and-red sweater and jeans. She was watching the film Halloween. This girl was Vicki Stephens, aka Vixen, the Southside Misfits' lead guitarist. She was the group's answer to the Scarlet Witch, having her own luck-manipulation powers and the ability to charm people into doing what she wanted. She also had a strange magical pendant that could transform into an actual guitar.

"Those two have been arguing horror films all month." Vicki remarked. "It wouldn't surprise me if they eventually start using fists."

"You listen here, Goodwin!" WrongWay scowled. "There is no way in hell that the Robert Englund Freddy Krueger could beat up the Jackie Earle Haley one. He'd be too busy cracking jokes! The Earle Krueger would just cut his head off!" Johnny B started laughing.

"Oh, that's original! Let me tell you something, pal. Nothing beats the original Krueger, okay? I mean, the Earle version. Where's the style? The panache? Earle Krueger may be straight up evil, but the Englund Krueger had a sense of humor about it."

"Oh, by the Goddess, they're arguing about which Freddy Krueger was better now!" Vicki groaned. She turned her head, glaring at the two boys. "Will you two clowns knock it off! I'm trying to watch my movie!"

"Do you have to watch this around me?" Jenni winced at the screen, clutching her teddy bear closer.

"Why, you scared?" Vicki teased.

"...I hate horror films." Jenni winced again at the screen. "Couldn't we watch that Charlie Brown Halloween special? That's appropriate for the season!"

"Oh, come on!" Vicki started laughing. "This is the month of Halloween! No time could be more perfect for watching horror films! I mean, we faced an evil sorcerer and his army of demon zombies!1"

"I'm not scared of zombies." Jenni shook her head, shuddering "Zombies aren't scary to me. I am terrified of unkillable psychos with axes or machetes or claw gloves or stuff like that!" Meanwhile, Raven was keeping her eyes on the road. An African-American boy walked in the cab and sat down in the passenger seat, putting on the seat belt. He was dressed in a pair of blue jeans, and a blue sleeveless t-shirt with a yellow five-pointed star on it. His long dark hair was held back by a blue headband, and he had on biker gloves and studded wristbands. He was Jason Vincent, aka Kid Superstar, the lead singer and rhythm guitarist of the Southside Rockers. The leader of the Southside Misfits, Jason's powers involved adaptability. He had the ability to develop any power that could get him out of a situation, like if he was drowning, he'd develop gills.

"How's it going, Raven?" The young guitarist asked the Native American Joe.

"Not bad." She answered, sipping her coffee from a thermos. "We're almost there."

"You want me to take over?" Jason offered. Raven shook her head.

"Naw, thanks." She smiled and held up her coffee. "As long as I got this, I'm good."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm good." Raven nodded. "It's too bad that Ash couldn't come with us.2"

"Nor could Timmy.3" Jason agreed with his own nod. "Aw, well. Timmy wanted to spend Halloween with his family."

"Too bad Ash couldn't come." Raven shrugged. "But he said that he had a vacation coming."

"Him, vacation." Jason chuckled. "That I'd love to see."

Aruba

"Ahhh..." Ashley J. "Ash" Williams smiled to himself, laying back on a hammock. "This is the life." The supermarket worker/killer of Deadites had decided to relax on a beach. The dark-haired man, clad in a pair of blue cargo shorts and a black t-shirt, a pair of black Ray-Bans over his eyes, decided to lay on a hammock that was being held up by a pair of palm trees. He also had on his new prosthetic hand.4 A pretty waitress, wearing a blue bikini with a grass skirt, walked up to him, a Budweiser on her tray.

"Your brewski, sir." She announced perkily. Ash brought down his Ray-Bans, and smirked. The man took the beer, making sure he had an opportunity to gaze briefly at the waitress's ample chest.

"Thanks, toots." Ash smirked, using his prosthetic hand to remove the bottle's cap. The waitress gasped slightly at the hand. Ash's smirk never left. "Don't worry, toots. The hand's a new prosthetic."

"How'd you lose it? In Afghanistan?" The waitress blinked.

"Hunting accident." Ash answerd simply, sipping his beer. "The hand's a special order." He grinned at the waitress. "Hey toots, how 'bout you and I ditch this place, and I can show you some of the hand's..." The Chosen One grinned lecherously. "...special features?"

"I have plans." She explained, walking away. Ash smiled at the waitress.

"I hate to see 'em leave, but I love to watch 'em go." The dark-haired Deadite-slayer chuckled to himself, sipping his beer. After he finished, he put his hands behind his head and started to nod off. After about a half-hour of sleep, he heard screaming. It made him fall off his hammock. "Wha-wha?"

"RUN!" The waitress screamed as she ran by. "MONSTER!"

"Monster?" Ash blinked. He turned and saw a truck-sized green-scaled bipedal monster with a crocodile's snout, sharp teeth, and red eyes roaring as it smashed a wall of the open bar that Ash had gotten his beer. "Aw, hell no!" With a mental command, his prosthetic hand morphed into its chainsaw mode.

A cemetery in Redstone, Illinois

Two figures walked towards the cemetery. One was pushing a dolly with a green oil drum that had military markings on it. The second figure was holding a book.

"Alright, fella." The dolly-holding figure grunted as he put the dolly down. "You sure ya don't need a mask?"

"I will be quite alright." The second reassured, his voice accented. "My powers will protect me." The second figure smiled, patting his book.

"Okay, let's do this." The first figure opened the drum, causing a noxious green gas to erupt from the drum. "Okay, fella! Do your stuff!"

"As you wish." The second figure opened his book and started chanting in an arcane language. The green gas stopped in midair as a pink aura formed around the it. The cloud then went over the cemetery, and something horrifying occurred.

1 – See "Zombies in Chicago"

2 – Ash Williams, whom the Southsiders met during "Zombies in Chicago".

3 – Timothy Webster, aka Exo, a character of Metal Dragoon's, who appeared in the first couple of Southside Misfit stories.

4 – Johnny B. Goode built Ash Williams a new prosthetic hand after his own was destroyed during "Zombies in Chicago".