Legolas gets Legless

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the main characters in this story not even Legolas *Cries* oh and I don't own scumble either

AN: I apologise for any spelling errors or typo errors but I wrote this at college before I had a lesson and it was kind of rushed. :O)

Legolas, Boromir and the hobbits were sitting in a tavern awaiting the return of Aragorn who had gone to see the owner about their rooms for the night.

Gimly returned with their drinks, four hobbit sized mugs of beer and three pints for himself Boromir and Aragorn when he returned, and for the Elf a special mixture of several very strong alcoholic beverages the dwarf had told the bartender to pour into a pint mug.

Legolas smiled as he accepted the mug from the dwarf and sniffed the liquid suspiciously.

"What is it master Elf?" Gimly enquired "'Tis just a drink…do you think I'm trying to poison you?"

"Nay master dwarf I am merely wondering why my drink is different to the rest of the fellowships, and Elves aren't affected by poison"

"'Tis only because I came to the conclusion you wouldn't be able to appreciate a good beer so I saw to it you got something more appropriate for an elf to drink" smirked the dwarf

Before the archer could reply Aragorn returned. "We have 2 rooms for tonight, one for the hobbits and one for the rest of us" he said picking up his mug and taking a swig.

"Only two?" Asked Boromir

"Tis a busy tavern Boromir 'twas all they could spare"

After a lengthy discussion of where they were heading next the hobbits decided to retire for the evening and bid them goodnight and Gimly went back to the bar to get the remaining of the fellowships next round for the evening.

Aragorn watched the dwarf walk across the room and turned back to his companions.

Boromir was looking a bit drowsy and slumped in his seat but Legolas was sitting bolt upright and grinning like a fool.

"Legolas? Are you all right?

The Elf looked the ranger; there was a sparkle in his eyes "Of course I'm alright…why do you ask?"

Despite the Elf's reply the ranger knew something was amiss with his friend, he had never seen the elf like this.

Gimli returned with the drinks and before the dwarf could hand Legolas his drink Aragorn snatched it away from him.

"What has he been drinking Gimly?"

"Just a little cocktail I had the bartender mix up for me"

Aragorn took a small sip from the mug. Immediately his head began to swim and his eyes glazed over and after a fit of coughing and allot of water the ranger glared at the dwarf.

"This seems to be more than a harmless cocktail Gimly what is in it?"

Gimly looked to the floor and began to mumble.

If they had been paying attention the dwarf and half-elf would have noticed that Brormor had passed out and Legolas had took his drink and downed it quickly. Then giggling to himself, he drank the rest of the groups round including the strange "cocktail" Gimly had been giving him all night.

By now he noticed Aragorn was quite angry at the dwarf although he didn't really care why as he grabbed Aragorn's beer and drank the rest of it down.

"Do you realise what happens when an elf gets drunk! He could be in this state for days! Weeks even! How many has he had!

Gimly now resembled a small child with his actions. He hung his head low and was looking down as if his feet had suddenly become the most interesting things in middle-earth.

"It was just a bit of fun." He murmured through his beard.

All of a sudden the elf found everything in the room extremely funny and burst out laughing causing everyone in the tavern to turn around and stare at them.

Legolas, pleased with the attention he was getting then preceded to try to stand on the table and despite the efforts of Aragorn and Gimli to get him to come down he then tried to do a strip tease. (Which would have been greatly appreciated if it wasn't for the fact that the tavern was full of men) but due to his drunken state he ended up with his shirt stuck half way over his head. When he was finally coaxed down with the offer of another beer he was grabbed and bundled off outside by Gimli before he could make more a fool of himself than he already had.

Boromir woke up to Aragorn dragging him outside and towards their room with Gimli left behind struggling with Legolas who was complaining that he left his drink unfinished and how it would me impolite not to finish it.

After dragging Boromir into a bed (A/N: Get your minds out of the gutter! ;)) Aragorn then went to fetch Legolas who Gimli was still having trouble with. He got outside to see the Elf lying face down on the floor looking at something and quietly saying something that sounded like "Don't run away I wont hurt you friend"

"Gimly go and check on the hobbits while I sort your mess out"

Gimly not wanting to argue and seeing he was already in enough trouble quickly rushed off to the hobbits room.

As the ranger approached the Elf started to laugh again during which he slapped his hand down on the stone road. He let out a yelp and looked down at his hand.

"I've killed him! I've killed him!" he wailed "Oh my poor Bob I'm sorry!"

Aragorn knelt down beside the distraught Elf and placed his hand on his friend's shoulder "It's only a spider Legolas there is no need to get upset."

Legolas was now close to tears "How can you say that! Bob was my bestest friend in the whole wide world ever!"

"Legolas…it was a spider I remember you being scared of them once."

The without warning the Elf hugged the ranger and began to cry in between sobbs Aragorn could just make out

"Aragorn…your…my …bestest friend…in the…whole…world"

He smiled "ok now lets get you inside and out of the cold."

The Elf smiled and leaning heavily on his friend was lead to their room where Gimly was awaiting their arrival.

After putting the Elf to bed (A/N: Once again get your mind out of the gutter!) Aragorn turned to Gimly.

"Well that didn't seem too bad but I will be glad when the morning comes." Sighed the dwarf

"If anything you should dread the morning master dwarf for Legolas' condition will only get worse, you never did tell me what was in that drink Gimli."

Once again the dwarf lowered his head looking at his feet.

"It was only supposed to be a joke, the crazy Elf looked like he needed cheering up a bit"

"Gimly what was in the drink?" Aragorn was losing his patience

"Half scumble and half everything else in stock" murmured the dwarf.

"What! How many did he have?" The man was shocked with what he heard and was suprised that the Elf had lasted so long before the alcohol took effect.

"Why will it last for days Aragron? I thought Elves healed really quickly"

"They do but their metabolism is very slow almost stationary and it takes alcohol longer to effect the body of an Elf than the body of a man, Legolas is only in the first stage, when the second stage takes effect is when our real problems start...I suggest you get a good nights sleep master dwarf for it is likely you wont get another anytime soon."

That night Aragorn kept watch over Legolas while trying to clean the remains of Bob off his shirt. "It's going to be an interesting few days to say the least." He thought to himself

AN/ Well what do you think? I haven't written this much in such a long time because I've had writer's block for ages I want to know if I'm doing it right.

Next Chapter: The Fellowship set off again on their journey but how will they cope with a drunken Elf?