America fell heavily onto his bed. It had been a long, long day and he couldn't take anything more. Blinking his eyes back open, he sits up to take off his jacket and boots. He stood up and went into the bathroom. After brushing his teeth and doing his other "daily need" type things, he went back into his room.

Before anything, he closed and locked his bedroom door and windows; pulling the blinds shut tight. He heaved another sigh, his millionth that day. Painfully, he laid back down. Civil War wasn't fun, and it was no wonder Russia had lost his mind after his. He feared he would share the same fate and become a crazed conqueror and die off quickly; the quickest in history. Though he would never admit it, he secretly hoped this would kill him. He was so young and his people were already at each others' throats. It depressed him deeply to look toward the future.

He tensed up then, another battle had broken out. This one worse than any of the others before it. Gettysburg. He felt his face getting wet and realized he had started crying. He heard screaming, but hurt too much to figure out that it was his voice calling into the darkness. He lost complete control of his body and started writhing in the agony of it all. He couldn't help either side, and that's why he hurt so much. He was fighting himself and there was no escape. France had been nice and had started helping him, but where was his true savior? Surely, England couldn't leave him alone for something like this!

He remembered then. England had tried to help. He had tried to help the Confederates. His supposedly loving brother had tried to help the bad guys of his nation. He couldn't remember why he hadn't helped, though because at that moment, he felt more of his citizens being killed in one battle than in all the rest of the war combined. A sob choked his throat as he fell off the bed onto the floor.

He cried harder, but whether it was for his people, his pain, his loss, or England, he didn't know. Through the haze of pain, tears, and hatred, he didn't know anything anymore.

A/N: So, yeah I just joined and I felt that I should upload something to just show my writing style and such. This was originally written for one of the days of an Event Week for my Hetalia roleplaying group on deviantart.