From the journal of Elisa Maza,

November 30, 1996

He was thinking about her again. He tried to deny it, but I could tell just by looking in his eyes as we lay on the bed together. He was thinking about Demona.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, after the blow-up she and Angela had last night. Over humanity. Over me. Over the fact that Goliath had chosen me over her to be his mate. And now Goliath has pretty much forbidden Angela from ever talking to her mother again. I tried to tell him that that wasn't the answer, that it would only drive Demona further away from clan, but he said that Demona made her choice a long time ago when she betrayed the clan, and that she would have to live with her decision. After that he left, but I could tell just by watching him that he was already starting to regret his decision. If only he would open up and talk to me and tell me the truth, but he won't. He never will. He refuses to tell me that he still loves her.

Would someone please explain men to me? Why is it they always think they have to be the ones to put up the brave front and try to protect us 'weak and defenseless women' from the truth. I know he still loves her, I can see it in his eyes every time we make love. Somewhere deep down in his psyche, he's unconsciously comparing me to his lost 'Angel of the Night', his love of a thousand years ago. He tries to deny it time and again, but I know the truth. I even tried to call him on it a couple of times, but it does no good. He just tells me I'm being silly and tries desperately to change the subject, or leaves in a huff if I try to pursue the matter. Deep down, I know he wants to be with her, because I know that I sure do.

I guess it's kind of surprising admitting to a certain attraction to a woman who has tried to kill me on more than one occasion. Am I that much of a masochist, or is it that I know that Demona isn't really all that bad. She's led a hard life, and I guess a thousand years of being hunted and hated has taken its toll on her, which really is the reason she hates us so much. After the fall of Wyvern in 994, she never had a chance to find true happiness again; she'd been pursued by the Hunters ever since then. I guess that would make even me a bitch to contend with.

There's got to be some way to reach her, I know there is. If not for Goliath's sake, then for Angela's, because I know how desperately she wants to be with her mother. They could be a family again if only Demona would give up her desire to wipe out the human race. I wouldn't even mind playing the 'other woman' if it meant making peace with Demona, if it also meant a chance to be with her…

There I go again, having those impulses. I guess it should be of no surprise. Yes, I do find Demona attractive. There, I've finally said it. Yes, I find her attractive. Who wouldn't? She's beautiful and exotic, and she's got a waistline I would kill for in her human form, not to mention that luscious mane of red hair. I have to admit I've always had a fondness for redheads. If Matt ever found out, he'd probably shit his drawers, wondering what Goliath would do to him if he ever found out. I guess it's a good thing I've never told Goliath or Xanatos. Goliath would no doubt freak and Xanatos…well, given his kinky nature, I'm sure he'd invite me over for a threesome with him and Fox. Fox I might do, but not her husband. I wouldn't touch him with a ten-foot cattle prod, not that he wouldn't enjoy that.

I have to admit that I have often wondered if female gargoyles go in for that kind of thing. I know they tend to be a bit freer when it comes to sex, but I don't know just how free. Hudson did tell me about one of Goliath's rookery brothers who had two of his sisters (that's a concept I still have a little trouble with. I know that they look on each other as brothers and sisters from birth, even though they have different parents, but it still sounds too much like incest to me) after him as a prospective mate, and that neither of them wanted to give him up. So they decided to share him, even over the objections of the others, so I guess they do to some extent. But I have to wonder if they also go in for a few other things we humans are known for. I wonder if Demona's ever done it with another female. It would be interesting to find out.

What would it be like to touch her, I wonder. Having been with Goliath, I have an idea of what gargoyle skin feels like, but what does Demona's feel like, being a female. Are her nipples hard or soft? Does she even have them, since I know from personal experience that Goliath doesn't. What about her sex? Is it bare, like Goliath's is? Or does she have a patch of red down there to match her flaming locks? I find I really do want to find out, but I'm unsure about how to go about doing it. Asking her over may be asking for trouble, but I'm pretty sure that if I explain the situation to her, and how it would benefit all of us, maybe she would be willing to go along with it. I'm sure she would, if it meant getting Goliath back and being able to see Angela again. It's just a matter of getting her to come over that's the problem. Maybe after a few hours sleep, I'll come up with a plan.

December 1, 1996

Well, I went ahead and did it. I invited Demona over to talk. I just hope I'm not making a big mistake. And I pray to God she doesn't come crashing through the skylight like she did the last time. I had to spend a nearly a week's pay getting the skylight fixed and I really can't afford it.

She should be here shortly so I'd better get ready. I hope she comes, because after the dream I had last night, I'm really anxious to see her. Hard to believe it, but it was her I dreamed about last night, not Goliath. We were lying in bed, her wings wrapped around me like a blanket as her talons scraped across my skin gently, teasing me before they descended into me, penetrating me as I felt her fangs nip gently at my flesh. I wish I'd stayed asleep long enough to finish the dream, but Matt called, asking me a question about a case we had worked together on. After that, it was almost impossible to get back to sleep to finish it, but it was the dream itself that made me decide to call her. I wanted to know what it felt like. I only hope I can get the chance to turn a dream into a reality.

The End