iFreak Out!

Synopsis: OMG...Sam's going to the gynecologist!

Pairing: Carly/Sam

Genre: Romance/Drama/Hurt/Comfort/Humor

Disclaimer: Be thankful that I don't own iCarly...if I did, it would immediately be yanked off Nick... because of what these two would do!

Rated: "M" (for the usual reasons)

Reviews: Don't be shy...do be intelligent. In case you're wondering what that means...below is an example of un-intelligent feedback:

"Yo...Jane Austen! Sense and Sensibility ain't bad...but take out the love scene, and put in a car chase!"

Current Muse: No Rain (Blind Melon)

Carly:

"Carls...got any Advil?" I heard her moan, as she staggered through my front door, one hand on her lower abdomen.

"Oh, no...Sam...is it..."

"Uh...yeah...it is..."

And so it began.

Completely ignoring the fridge (to my shock and disbelief), she made a beeline for my bedroom, dropped her backpack, kicked off her shoes, and dived under my covers...

...and, less than forty-eight hours later, I leaned against the bathroom sink, realizing, with a sigh, that I needed to have a very personal discussion with her. Still I hesitated. Sam hated to be open and direct about any and all girly subjects. But, as I glanced into the nearby wastebasket, I knew we had to talk.

Now.

Returning to my room, I walked over to where she was lying on my bed, curled into the fetal position, hugging a pillow.

"I brought you some ibuprofen."

"Thanks." She took it.

"Mind if I join you?"

"No."

I got into bed and lay on my side, looking at her...not sure how to begin.

She just lay there, looking confused...not sure what to expect.

Finally I just said, "Come here."

She moved closer to me, and I hugged her, and kissed her forehead. Looking into her eyes, I said, "Sam, you know that I love you."

She nodded, and I saw her sad smile.

"Sam...come on...don't! New Year's Eve was two months ago...and I still want to be your friend...even after...well...you know..."

The smile disappeared, and she immediately pulled away from me.

Oh, no. "Sam...it's okay...that's all in the past!" I reached for her again, but she backed up to the far edge of the bed. I moved over to where she lay...and then I saw the tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

"No...don't cry!"

She rolled away from me, and put her hands over her face, and I kicked myself, inwardly, for being so inept. I put my hand on her shoulder, and gently turned her back to face me. "I'm really sorry, Sam...I shouldn't have brought that up. I promise I'm not mad about it anymore."

Her lower lip was trembling, and I put my arms around her neck. "No...don't! I don't even think about that anymore! Honest!"

She was wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Sam...look at me. I'm so sorry...I won't ever mention it again...okay?"

She nodded.

I gently moved the pillow away from her stomach, and asked, "Can I have a hug?"

It was kind of half-hearted on her part, but I hugged her back tightly, holding onto her for a long time. When I did let go, I moved her hair out of her eyes, and then leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Are you okay?"

She shrugged. "I guess."

Smiling, I reached down and took her hand in mine. "Good. I'm here because I want to talk to you about something."

"What?"

"I was...just emptying the wastebasket..."

"Yeah?"

"...and..."

"And...what, Carls?"

"...uh, don't freak out..."

"Meaning?"

"...you seem to be...uh...bleeding...a lot."

She immediately rolled onto her stomach, and slammed the pillow down over her head. "Tra-la-la...I can't hear you!"

"Sam...that seems like a lot of feminine hygiene products...for only a day and a half."

"Tra-la-la-..."

"Come on..."

"...tra-la-la..."

"Sam, talk to me!"

"...tra-la...No!"

"Why not?"

"Uh...I'm tired."

"Why won't you talk to me about this?"

"It's nothing."

"I disagree. Sam, why won't you just..."

"No!"

"Come on...let's talk about..."

"There's nothing to talk about!"

I took the pillow away from her, and turned her over onto her side, facing me. Then I said, as gently as I possibly could, "Sam...I think you should get checked out."

"For what?"

"For bleeding so much...and for your cramps."

"It barely feels like anything. I'm okay."

"No you're not. I get them too, and I can tell, just by the expression on your face, that you're hurting..."

"I'm not."

"...badly."

"I'm fine."

"Please, Sam...please go to the gynecologist."

"I don't want to!"

"It's no big deal."

"Have you ever been to one, Carls?"

"No."

"Then how do you know?"

"Please, Sam...for me?"

"No!"

"Why not...are you scared?"

"No!"

"Then what's the problem?"

She was cornered...and she knew it.

I stroked her cheek. "Please, Sam," I asked gently, "please go...for me?"

She reconsidered. "If-if I do...w-will you go with me?"

"Of course I will! I went to the dentist with you...didn't I?"

"No...I mean...will you go...in with me?"

You mean...while...while he examines you?"

"Yes."

"Sam...uh...are you sure you want me in there with you...during...during...that?"

She nodded.

I hesitated; it really seemed kind of personal. Still, I was asking a lot of her. "Well...okay...I guess...if you really want me to..."

"Yes...I do!"

"...if it will make you more comfortable..."

"Yes it will!"

"...okay, Sam, I'll be...in there with you."

"And...and you'll go first?"

"Of course I will...wait...what? What do you mean by 'go first'?"

"You'll 'get on the table' first."

"No way!"

"Why not?"

"Because...I don't need to!"

"I know that, Carls...but..."

"No, Sam..."

"Come on!"

"No...I am not getting a pelvic exam."

"Then neither am I!"

"But...I don't..."

"What's wrong, Carls...are you scared?"

"Of course not!"

"Then what's the problem?"

I was cornered...and I knew it.

"Please...for me?"

"But...but..."

"Please, Carls? Please?" She was shaking...and I could tell how scared she was...about the whole thing.

I caved in. "Okay, okay."

And then she was in my arms. "Thank you."

I kissed her forehead. "Don't worry...everything's going to be alright."

The next afternoon, when we got back from school, I parked Sam in front of my refrigerator, told her I'd be back shortly, and then went upstairs...out of earshot. After doing a little online research of the best gynecologists in Seattle, I called one who looked promising, and made an appointment, for the both of us, for two weeks later.

Afterward, I went downstairs, and waited for Sam to finish eating, and then took her, by the hand, up to my bedroom, and shut the door behind us.

"Carls, what are we doing?" she asked, as I led her over to my desk.

"Research."

"For...?"

"For...what to expect at the doctor's office."

She jerked her hand out of mine. "I don't wanna!"

Busy with Google, I said over my shoulder, "Come on, Sam...what are the 'five P's'?"

"Pizza, popcorn, potato chips, pudding, and pie!"

"Ha ha...very funny...you know which 'five P's' I'm referring to: 'Proper Planning Prevents Poor
Performance'!"

"Performance?...it's an medical exam...not an opera!"

"Sam...knowledge is power."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that...I know that the first time doing anything can be extremely sca..."

"Uhhh..." Her eyes were on the door, and I knew she was gonna try to make a break for it.

"Look, Sam...it's okay...I'm sure anyone would be really embarrassed during their first pelv..."

She took off...but I was ready. She had only taken four steps before I was out of my chair, and had strategically planted myself between her and the door, agilely running from side to side; completely blocking her, as she tried, unsuccessfully, to dodge her way around me, and escape from the building. "Uh...I just remembered...I gotta leave! Uh...I have to go...uh...uh..."

I reached out, and put my hands on her shoulders. "I just made an appointment for us, for the Friday morning after next."

"Oh, God!"

"Now, let's just see what's going to happen when we get there." Taking her arm, I gently, but firmly, steered her back over to the computer.

"Carls...no!"

"Sam...this is only going to take a few minutes." I sat back down, and moved her over, until she was standing next to me. "Here...just look at this..."

She took one look at the screen, and I thought she was going to pass out. "Oh, my God!"

"Shh...it's only a website."

"Oh...My...God!"

I reached up, and pulled her down onto my lap, wrapping my left arm around her. "There...I've got you...nothing bad is going to happen to you now."

She was cringing. "Why do I have to look at this?"

"So you'll know what to expect during your exam." I pointed to a graphic, full-color illustration, in the middle of the screen. "Now this the female reproductive system. See, that's the uterus...and over here and here are the Fallopian..."

With a shriek, she hopped up off me, and out of the chair.

I grabbed her wrist. "Where are you going?"

"To scrub my eyeballs with Ajax!"

I pulled her back down onto my lap, and held her close to me...with both arms this time. "Come on...it's not that bad..."

Unfortunately, her attention was now riveted on my arms, which she was attempting to unwrap from her waist. "You know I hate all this stuff!"

"Why?"

"It's...you know...embarrassing!"

"Come on...it's just between us..."

"Yeah, us...and some perv of a doctor!"

"He's not going to say anything...his office is all the way out by Madison Park...so I'm sure he doesn't even know any of our friends."

"Yeah...but..."

"Sam, all of this is just between us...only the two of us...so you don't have to be afr..."

"No...I can't...I don't want to..."

"Look at me."

She turned around. I put my hand on the back of her neck and gently pulled her face toward mine. "Listen...I know you're not used to being so close to...well...to anyone...but I promise...you can always talk to me about this...or any other girly stuff...and I won't laugh...and I promise I'll never tell anyone else...okay?"

"But..."

"And once you've been open and honest with me a few times, I know that you won't even be embarrassed anymore."

"But..."

"...and I promise I'll be just as open with you...you can ask me anything personal...and I'll always discuss it with you, openly, and honestly, and completely...just the two of us...and we'll never tell anyone...okay?"

"Anything?"

"Yes...anything...I promise."

"Why...why do you want to?"

"Because you should have an understanding of, and a positive attitude toward, your body. And it's very reassuring to know that you can always confide in someone...someone who really cares about you."

"But..."

"Please Sam...this would mean a lot to me, too. I don't have any sisters...or a mom. I've never had anyone to talk about this stuff with."

"I...really?"

"Yes...do you know how scary it was for me the first time I got my period...and I didn't have anyone to ask about it?"

"We were friends then...so why didn't you just..."

"Because I didn't think you'd let me...we weren't as close back then...not like we are now."

She was silent, but I could tell that she realized I was right.

I lay my hand against her cheek. "Sam...please be the one person who I can talk to. Please?"

"I don't know..."

I moved us both out of the chair, away from the computer, and took her hand. "Come on...let's just talk...okay? Just the two of us."

She was shaking.

"Please, Sam?"

She shrugged. "Carls...I...don't..."

"How about...if I hold you...will you talk to me then?"

She looked at the floor.

"Sam?"

No answer.

I took a step closer, and she put her head on my shoulder, but instead I led her over to the bed. I turned down the covers, kicked off my shoes, and got in, and then held out my arms. After a moment's hesitation she got in too, and moved into them, and I pulled the covers over us.

I slid my hands up under her shirt, and began to rub her back and, after a few minutes, I felt her relax and snuggle against me, and I wrapped my arms around her. " There...that's it...see...it's just us now..."

I felt her nod.

"...and we can tell each other everything...okay?"

"Y-yes."

"Okay...will you talk to me about your period?"

She immediately tensed up. "What about it?"

"Like...like how many times a day do you have to change your..."

"Uh...I-I...uh..."

"Shh...never mind...I can tell you're still nervous...so why don't I go first...okay?"

She nodded.

I smiled at her. "Okay, go ahead...ask me anything you want...no matter how personal it might be."

"I don't know..."

"Come on...I promise to 'tell all'...no matter what you ask."

"Uh...uh..."

"Come on, Sam...I promise...anything you want to know...anything."

"H-have you ever...kissed a girl?"

"No...I haven't...well...except for...you know..." my voice trailed off. I didn't want to get into it...again.

"No...I mean...have you ever...kissed a girl back...you know...like really?"

"No...never."

She buried her face in the pillow. "I wish you would."

I pulled her closer to me. "I know, sweetheart...but...I well...I'm just not..."

"I know..." I heard her sniffle.

"Come on...I do love you, Sam...just...not like that."

She started to cry.

I leaned down, and kissed her on the neck. "I'm sorry."

"I-I know..."

"Shh...don't cry...I promised you we wouldn't talk about that anymore. Let's start this conversation over okay?"

I felt her shrug. "I...don't feel like it."

"Please?"

"I-I can't."

"Please, honey?"

She shook her head.

Damn...after all that effort...and just as she was finally starting to come out of her shell.

I looked down at her, sobbing in my arms...and sighed. I guess I could...just this once...for her. "Sam?"

No answer.

"Sam...look at me...please?"

She did. "What?"

"I-I'm willing to make a deal with you. If I kiss you...right now...can we put all of this behind us...for good?"

She looked confused. "You mean...you'll...?"

"Yes...um...not with...tongue...or anything...but I'll kiss you...if you really want me to...just this one time."

She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "You will?"

"Yes...and then I'll...I'll hold you...would you like that?"

She nodded. (I knew she would; the poor girl is so starved for affection.)

I smiled at her. "I love you, Sam...I really do."

"I-I love you too."

"Then come here."

I leaned over and put my arm around her, letting my hand rest against her back, and closed my eyes as she leaned toward me and her lips met mine. It was a nice kiss, and a fairly long one, and, although I was moving my lips softly against hers, trying to make it as memorable and romantic as I could for her, and she was responding in the same way, she didn't try to make it into more than I had offered.

When it was over, she lay in my arms, as I rubbed her back. "Are you okay?"

She nodded.

"There, now..."

...and she looked sad again.

I smiled, and pulled her back up to the pillow, close to me, and looked directly into her eyes. "Come on...don't be like that...we're about to be very intimate...I'm going to tell you anything and everything you'd ever want to know about me...things I'll never tell anyone else...things not even Spencer knows...that's your privilege as my best friend."

After I said the last two words, she looked completely devastated, and it killed me to see the hurt in her eyes...knowing that she wanted more...and that I couldn't give it to her.

She shrugged. "I don't know what to ask...or how."

"Just ask me. Anything personal. After the first few questions I promise it'll get easier."

"I still don't know..."

"Well...since we're both going to the gy..." I felt her tense up, "...the...uh...doctor...two weeks from now, why don't we talk about that stuff today? Just ask me something related to that, okay?"

"Okay...uh...how old were you when you first...uh...got your...you know..."

"Sam...say it."

"...p-period?"

"Was that so hard?"

She looked away from me and nodded.

I did my best not to laugh. I put my hand on her cheek and turned her face toward mine. "Look at me. I was twelve the first time I got my period. How old were you?"

"Eleven."

"Sam...say the whole sentence."

"No!"

"Come on, it's only hard the first couple of times."

"Okay...I was eleven the first time I...I..."

"Do I have to tickle it out of you?"

Her eyebrows shot up. "No!"

"Then come on..."

"I...was eleven the first time I...got my...period."

I hugged her. "You're so awesome! That definitely was progress. Ask me again...anything."

"Uh...do you ever...you know..."

"Um...no...what?"

"Never mind!" she said quickly.

"No...just ask me."

"I can't!"

"Even if it's extremely personal...it's okay. Go ahead."

"N-no...I can't..."

"Sam...just ask me really fast...it'll be easier."

"Okay...uh...do you ever...youknowwhackoff?"

"Huh?"

"Uh...whack off?"

"You mean...masturbate?"

"Uh...yeah."

I felt myself blush...but a promise is a promise. "I've done it...a few times."

"That's all?"

"Yeah...what about you, Sam...do you ever...youknowwhackoff?"

I was hoping she'd laugh at the way I'd said it, but she blushed and closed her eyes. "Um..."

"Come on...it's just between us."

"I...uh...uh..."

Come on...honey...just tell me."

"...I can't!"

"I told you that I do it...and I promise it's okay...no matter what your answer is."

"Y-y-yeah...I have..."

"How often?" I asked gently.

"...a...a lot!" She turned her back to me, and hid her face in her hands.

"You mean...like...once a week?"

"No...more...a lot more!"

I curled up behind her, and ran my hand through her hair. "Sam...it's okay."

"No it's not...now you probably think I'm some kinda freak!"

I turned her toward me, and she buried her face in the pillow.

"Sam...Sam, look at me...come on...there, that's better. No I don't...there's nothing wrong with you...it's a perfectly normal thing. Do you do it more as a...a stress release, or more...for...fun?"

"Both."

I tilted her head up until she was looking directly at me. " It's okay...it's perfectly normal, no matter how often you do it."

"It is?"

"Yes...do you feel any better about that now?"

"Y-yes."

I held out my arms, and she hugged me.

"See...it's good to be able to talk about all this stuff! Now you can ask me again...anything."

"Are you...a...virgin?"

"Yes, I'm still a virgin. Are you a virgin?"

"Uh...yeah...I'm still a v-virgin."

"Wow...a complete sentence!"

She blushed.

I grabbed her hand. "Come on...I'm proud of you! Now go ahead...it's your turn again...so ask me...and the more personal, the better."

"Okay...uh...what's your worst...period horror story?"

"Horror story?"

"Yeah...you know...the kind that usually begins, I was wearing white pants that day..."

I laughed and hugged her. "Oh, Puckett, there's hope for you, yet!"

I let her pick my brain and, two hours later, she was actually answering my questions, in complete sentences, and looking much less self-conscious. I decided to call it quits for the day when I heard her stomach growl.

"Hungry?"

"Extremely."

"Sam...thank you...I really enjoyed that."

She looked away and blushed.

"No...I'm serious...can we do it again...soon?"

She nodded shyly. "I-I'd like that."

We sat up, and I turned toward her. "So would I. You know...you deserve a reward for being so brave today."

"What do you mean?"

I reached up, took her face in my hands, and gave her a little kiss on the lips, then leaned back and smiled at her. "That. Now let's go order a piz..."

And, suddenly, I was flat on my back, and she was hugging me.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?"

"You know...all of it."

"All of it?"

"Yeah."

"Even the embarrassing stuff?"

"Yes...uh...especial..." she stopped.

I lifted her face to mine. "I'm happy to...anytime...okay?"

She nodded.

I smiled. "But only for you, Sam...only for you."

The days before our appointment passed excruciatingly slowly, as we both eagerly anticipated the coming two weeks of spring break. I didn't mention the doctor again to Sam (not wanting to prolong her agony), until the day before we were scheduled, and, when I did remind her, her face fell; but, much to my surprise, she didn't try to make excuses, or to weasel her way out of it.

I'd invited her to sleep at my place the night before our appointment (I was taking no chances on her "forgetting" (or fleeing the state), but, even though she ate dinner with her usual gusto, I could tell she was nervous about the next morning. I tried to distract her by letting her watch whatever she wanted on TV, instead of fighting her for the remote, like we usually do, but, despite tuning in to her favorite shows, she spent most of the evening staring at the floor instead of the screen.

Finally, we went upstairs.

I let her shower first, and when I came back from the bathroom and climbed into bed, she was lying on her stomach, facing away from me, with a pillow under her, and her arms wrapped around it.

I moved closer to her. "Sam."

"Yeah?"

"Are you...okay?"

"Yeah...goodnight, Carls."

"Would you like to talk?"

Still not looking at me, she shook her head.

"Sam?"

She pulled the covers up over her head.

I did the same to myself, and then moved over to her side of the bed, pushed her T-shirt up as far as I could, and rubbed her back. "It's going to be fine."

She didn't respond, so I climbed on top of her, and wrapped my arms around her waist, then kissed her, noisily and repeatedly, between her bare shoulders. "Hey...Sam?"

She turned to look at me.

"We're going to suffocate under here." I climbed off her, slid my hand under her shoulder, and turned her over onto her back, then I pulled the covers down to our chins, and snuggled up against her. "Is this okay?"

She nodded, and I felt her arms go around me.

"Carls?"

"Yes?"

She hesitated, then shook her head.

"What?"

"No...I..."

"Sam, whatever it is, you can tell me."

Trembling, she let go of me, and slowly turned me over onto my back, then moved her head onto my chest, and, after a moment's hesitation, rested her face between my breasts.

"C-carls?"

I pulled her closer. "Yes, honey...it's fine...I don't mind."

At breakfast the next morning I could tell she was feeling apprehensive, since she only ate four pieces of French toast, instead of her usual nine, and since she was completely silent during the bus ride. I didn't try to make her talk...not feeling up to giving a 'gung-ho' speech, instead using the time to say a silent prayer that all would go well at the doctor's office, and that there was nothing seriously wrong with her.

We had a ten-thirty appointment with Dr. Philip Anderson, of Anderson and Bradley, here in Seattle. I had deliberately picked him for two reasons...his eleven excellent online reviews...plus, the fact that he was located over on the other side of town...to spare Sam from worrying that we might run into someone we knew.

When making the appointment I had specifically requested that the nurse not be in the room...since Sam was vehemently opposed doing this "in front of an audience," so, after we had put on the hideous gangrene-green gowns, and had been shown into the examination room, the nurse announced that she'd be waiting just outside the (closed) door, and for us to call her if we needed anything.

After she had left the room, Sam turned to me. "My God...they asked a ton of incredibly personal questions on those 'patient profile' forms!"

"I know...but writing all of that stuff down is definitely less embarrassing than having to say it to his face."

She shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. Carls, I really don't want to do..."

Just then, Doctor Anderson walked in. "Good Morning, ladies."

Sam, trembling, just stared at him.

I turned from her and sized him up. He was about fifty, tall and athletic-looking, with graying temples; and he was very nicely dressed, under his white lab coat. Overall, he had an intelligent, capable, friendly air about him, and I hoped that Sam also thought he seemed non-threatening. I looked over at her again, but she hadn't moved, and, suddenly I realized that we hadn't spoken to him yet. "Hi, Dr. Anderson...uh...the receptionist said that you wouldn't mind if we both get checked at the same time."

He smiled. "Not at all...lots of women bring their partners in with them."

"No, we're just friends!" I said...too quickly.

Sam instantly looked hurt, and stared at the floor, and I immediately regretted having said anything at all.

He was washing his hands, with his back to us, and I leaned over and whispered, "Sam...I'm sorry...I shouldn't have..."

She shrugged, her eyes still on the floor.

Desperate to keep her from becoming even more anxious and upset than she already was, I reached over, grabbed both her hands, pressed them tightly against my chest, and jiggled them up and down...

...and she smiled...in spite of herself.

"Ha-ha..." I whispered, "...I knew you couldn't stay mad!"

I let her hands drop as the doctor turned away from the sink, and walked back toward us. "Okay, so who's first?"

Sam immediately took a step backward.

"I-I'll go first," I said, climbing onto the table. After lying down, I let him guide my legs into the stirrups, and then, at his direction, I slid down to the edge of the table...while trying my hardest not to shake, because, truth be told, I was scared shitless...I just didn't want Sam to know.

She immediately reached over, and took my hand.

Less than a minute later I felt myself blushing a vivid shade of red, and found myself looking everywhere except at Sam, who now was watching, closely, as the doctor examined my breasts. (In her defense, as part of the deal I had told her that she was allowed to watch whatever he did when he examined me...for educational purposes...since I was confident that she'd be way too scared about what was coming to actually enjoy anything she might see him do to me.)

When he finally walked around to the lower end of the table, she didn't follow him (okay...much to my relief), but, instead, leaned down, and put her arms around me. "It's okay, I'm right here," she whispered.

I pulled her closer, smiling to hide my nervousness, trying to relax, but so glad to be in her arms, because when he opened that speculum it hurt...a lot. I gasped, and then I felt her running her hand through my hair.

"Shh...I've got you, Carls... just a few more minutes."

It was no fun at all...and I hated that I involuntarily flinched and winced...every single time he poked and prodded me.

Overall, the whole ordeal sucked, especially when he did the Pap smear...but finally, he told me I was done.

Silently thanking God that I had survived, I got off the table, and smiled at Sam. "See? That wasn't so bad."

She was trembling.

I walked over and gave her a hug.

Dr. Anderson came back from the hand-washing sink, pulling on a fresh pair of gloves. "Okay, Sam you're next...if you'll just finish getting undressed."

"No! This is as far as I'm going!"

I turned to her. "Sam...boxers off!"

"No!"

I immediately realized I had just been way too harsh. "Sam..." I said gently...

"No!" She turned to the doctor. "I-I want to leave them on...can't you just...go in through the trap door in the front?"

"No, Sam, I can't."

Realizing that the longer we waited, the more afraid she'd have time to become, I stepped behind her and yanked them down...

"HEY!"

...to her ankles.

I picked them up off the floor, and brandished them in her face. "Look, I have them right here...and you can put them right back on...the minute he's finished...okay?"

She was shaking as she looked at the table. "But...I'm...I'm..."

Setting the boxers aside, I took her hand. "It's okay, honey...come on...I'll help you."

I hugged her close to me, and then gently lifted her up onto the table. "Lie down...that's it," I whispered, gently lowering her onto her back. I leaned over and kissed her forehead, then glanced over, questioningly, at Dr. Anderson. He smiled and nodded.

Walking around to the lower end of the table, I carefully guided her legs into the stirrups, and then, with a reassuring smile, I put my arms around her waist, and helped her slide down to the end of the table. Then I returned to the side of the table, and took her hand.

"Carls...I-I don't...want..."

Realizing what was going through her mind, I immediately turned my back to the bottom edge of the table, and looked into her eyes. "Don't worry," I whispered, "I promise I won't watch."

Dr. Anderson turned away from his tray of instruments, on the counter at the far side of the room. Walking toward where Sam was lying, he promptly tripped over her backpack, which she'd carelessly left lying in the middle of the floor.

I heard it happen, and turned, just in time to see him catch himself, with one hand grabbing onto the edge of the table, as the metal speculum slipped out of his other hand, and brushed against Sam's bare leg.

"Oops...sorry about..."

"Ow!" she gasped.

With an apologetic smile, he scrambled back onto his feet. "Sorry...I..."

Her eyes were wide, with horror and rage. "Don't you dare point that thing at me!"

"Now Sam..." I began...

Sitting up abruptly, her hand shot forward, and, grabbing him by the necktie, she dragged his face over to hers. "Listen hobknocker, put that thing back in the freezer right now...and leave me alone!"

"I...I, uh..." he stuttered.

"This is not a request!"

"Sam...Sam look at me!" I demanded.

She did.

"Let...him...go."

"But..."

"Now."

"But..."

I shot her 'The Look'.

She let him go.

I reached over and caressed her cheek. "Hey, it's okay...I know you're nervous...and that's perfectly understandable...since you didn't watch when he examined me...and aren't sure what to expect. Would you like me to tell you what's going to happen?"

"N-no! Let's just get this over with!"

I kissed her forehead, and lay a hand on her shoulder. "Come on...lie down, honey...there we go...that's it."

I took her hand, and slowly ran my fingers through her hair...something I've always done in the past to relax her when she's been upset. After a minute or two her breathing evened out, and I turned to him and nodded.

Dr. Anderson moved back to the end of the table. "Don't worry, Sam...I'm sure what you're imagining is far worse than the reality. Now just relax...I'm going to insert two fingers into your..."

"And I'm outta here!" she yelled, springing up. I immediately flung myself across her chest, pinning her to the table, with my feet off the floor, and my bare butt hanging out for the world to see, as she flailed.

"NOOO!"

I tried to look into her eyes. "Hey...don't worry...everything is going to be okay."

"NOOO!"

"Come on Sam...for me."

"NOOO!"

"Sam...you promised!"

"NOOO!"

I heard the nurse on the other side of the door. "Is everything okay in there?"

"NOOO!"

"Then maybe I should just come in..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"We're fine Ms. ...uh...Ms. Nurse!" I called to her. " No need to come in! Sam! Pull yourself together! Please!"

Wild eyed, she continued to flail...and, still lying on top of her, I turned, looking half apologetically, half pleadingly at the doctor.

Dr. Anderson attempted a fatherly smile. "Now Sam, just try to rela...WHOA!" he yelled, jumping back, as her left heel narrowly missed his chin.

I bent down, pinned her arms, and put my face over hers, our noses touching. "Hey! Come on...I just did it...and look, I'm still alive!"

She stopped kicking for a moment, and looked back at me. "Yeah...but don't you feel...invaded?"

I did feel incredibly invaded...not to mention kind of sore...but I wasn't about to tell her that.

Dr. Anderson called over his shoulder. "I'll just be over here...while you two sort this out! He retreated to a far corner of the room and sat down."

"Look, Sam, his arms aren't long enough to reach you from way over there. Now calm down."

"I-I can't do this!"

"Look, honey, I know you're not used to having anything in or around your..."

"Carls!"

"Come on," I said gently, "It'll only take a few minutes...and it's not as awful as you think it's going to be...I promise."

And then her arms were around me...

...and I hated what I had to say to her next.

I looked into her eyes and said in a low voice. "Sam...I really do love you..."

"I know."

"...and...and that's why we're here...you know how I lost my mom," I whispered.

She nodded slowly, looking remorseful.

They'd never met...but I had told Sam, years ago, about my mother losing her battle with ovarian cancer, when I was seven, right before we moved to Seattle.

"I-I'm sorry, Carls."

I kissed her forehead. "Shh...it's okay."

"I'm...just so..."

"Please, Sam...please...if you really love me...do this for me...I-I don't ever want to...to..." I couldn't even bring myself to say it.

She looked near tears. "I know. I'm sorry...I-I'm just so..."

"It won't take long...I promise. And I'm right here with you."

"Does...does it hurt?"

"I'm not going to lie to you...yes it does...a little."

"I'm...I'm scared, Carls," she whispered.

I looked at her for a long moment. "W-what if I gave you something else to think about...to take your mind off it."

"Like what?"

"Um...uh...maybe I could...uh...kiss you again...later...would you like me to?"

She looked confused. "But...you said never ag..."

"I know...I know I did...but I will...for you...one more time...if you want me to."

She nodded. "I-I'd really like that."

"So focus on that now...okay? It's something to look forward to."

"Uh...when can we...?"

"Tonight...okay?"

"Promise?"

"Yes, honey...tonight...I promise...okay?"

"Okay."

Looking into her eyes, I could tell she was coming around...but we weren't quite there...yet.

I kissed her forehead one more time, and then stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me, wrestling always gives me an appetite..."

...and I reached inside my handbag.

"Uh...Carls?"

"Yes?"

Her eyes were riveted to the oversized zip-lock bag in my hand. "What's that?"

"Just a snack."

"Is it...is it...what I think it is?"

"You mean bacon...yes, Sam, I guess it is." I could tell that she knew, with only a glance, that it wasn't just any old bacon.

"Carls?"

"Yes?"

"Wh-where did that bacon come from?"

"A pig...why do you ask?" (I wasn't going to make this easy for her.)

"No, I mean, where did it come from?"

"Where all our bacon comes from...my cast iron skillet."

"No...I mean...where did it come from?"

"Oh...you mean like...country of origin?"

She nodded, vigorously.

"Hmm...I don't really remember...was it Belgium...no...maybe Botswana...or was it Bangladesh?"

"Bolivia? Is that B-bolivian bacon?"

"Hmm, you know...I think it just might be."

"C-c-can I have some?"

"No way! Once you factor in the import tax, plus shipping, this stuff is $48.00 per pound!"

"Please, Carls, please can I have some?"

"Sorry, Sam...there's only enough in this bag for good girls."

"Please...I'd give almost anything for it!"

I stared down at her. "Would you do almost anything for it?"

"You mean...?"

"Yes, just cooperate with the doctor, so we can get out of here."

"Okay." She reached for the bag.

"No-no-no, Sam! Effort equals reward!"

Her legs flew back up into the stirrups.

I set the bag down, and hugged her, and said, softly, "Sam...can we try again?"

"Y-yes."

"Don't worry...it's only for a few minutes...and you'll be in my arms the whole time...okay?"

She nodded.

I pulled back, and looked into her eyes. "And then the whole bag is yours."

"The whole bag? But...but you love Bolivian bacon just as much as I..."

"I know, Sam...but I don't care. If you cooperate...right now...it's all yours...the entire pound...I promise."

"Okay...I guess."

(Almost there.)

"So...for the next few minutes, Sam...just think about bacon...and kisses..."

She pulled my head down onto her chest, and whispered, "Okay," and I felt her arms tighten around me. "Carls...I love you."

I wrapped my arms around her, and nuzzled her neck, then looked up into her eyes. "I know...I love you back...that's why we're here today," I whispered.

"I...I know. Did you really mean what you said...about tonight?"

"Yes, Sam...we will...I promise."

"W-when?"

"How about...right after dinner?"

"Okay."

I smiled at her. "What are you thinking about right now?"

"Bacon...and kisses."

"Good girl." Still lying on her chest, I turned my head and called across the room, "Doctor Anderson? Whenever you're ready."

He nodded from behind his copy of Deathly Hallows...and mumbled, "Wait...only three more chapters..."

Thirty minutes after he'd finished examining her, the lab results were ready, and we were directed into his study. I sat in front of his desk and pulled Sam's chair right over to mine, while we waited for him to come in.

I handed her the bag of bacon, and she immediately stuffed it into her inside jacket pocket...without even looking at it...and I knew...right then...that she was absolutely terrified.

"Sam...everything is going to be okay."

"Carls...I'm so scared!"

"Listen to me...you're only seventeen...so I'm sure it's nothing."

"But...but what if it is?"

"Then I'm sure it's nothing serious. Whatever happens...I'm here for you...okay?"

Before she could answer, Dr. Anderson came in, and sat at down at his desk.

I could feel Sam trembling, her shoulder pressed against mine. I realized that it was best to get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible, so I looked at him and said, "Well, Doc...just give it to us straight."

He looked at us over the top of his clipboard, and nodded. "All right...we did find a uterine cyst."

Sam whimpered softly, and I took her hand.

I asked, "You mean like a...a fibroid? I've heard of those."

"No...a more rare kind to find in the uterus...a hemorrhagic cyst, which is an inflamed, blood-and-pus-filled sack, growing on the lower uterine wall, just inside the opening of the cervix...which is why we found it today...without having to perform additional tests."

"H-how big is it?" Sam asked.

"It appears to be about the size of a grape...we'll know for sure when we're actually able to go in, and look at it properly. It can be removed through a completely safe, minimally invasive, surgical procedure."

She was shaking, and I gripped her hand more tightly and said, "So...it definitely...requires surgery?"

"Yes. It's far preferable to remove it, completely, rather than trying to treat it with medication."

Sam began shaking so hard against me that my entire body was shaking along with her. I moved both my hands over to her lap, and felt her own hands twisting tightly around them.

"It's okay," I whispered. Turning back to Dr. Anderson, I asked, "Is there...is there anything else?"

"Yes, actually. In addition, there appears to be an extensive amount of clotting...abnormal build-up of the uterine lining...so I'm also going to order a D&C."

"W-what's that?" Sam asked, in a shaky voice.

"It stands for 'dilation and curettage', during which a woman's uterus is dilated; and a thin, sharp instrument is used to scrape away the excess tissue..."

She gasped, and buried her face against my shoulder.

"...and I can perform both procedures at the same time, under general anesthesia, and it's still not considered to be major surgery."

I heard her sniffle, and I whispered, "Shh...don't worry." I turned back to Dr. Anderson. "What are the side effects?"

"Some pain...at the site of the incision...until the stitches come out..."

"S-stitches? H-how many?" Sam asked him.

"That depends on the actual size of the cyst...I estimate anywhere from eight to twenty."

Her face was whiter than white, and I was afraid she was going to pass out. I wrapped my arm around her waist, and asked him, "And...are there any other side effects?"

"In some instances there may be extreme cramping...and heavy bleeding."

Sam started to cry, and he looked at her, sympathetically. "I know...I know that the whole thing sounds horrible...but there's really nothing to be afraid of."

"No...I...I.." and she broke down, completely.

"Don't worry Sam," he continued, "it only requires a hospital stay of a few days..."

"...b-but..."

"...and then Carly will be back home."

My jaw dropped. "W-what?"

Confused, he turned to me. "Carly didn't you realize that I was talking about you? The cyst is in your uterus."

"But...I...I...but Sam..."

"Sam does have heavy periods...but from the way she describes it, they still fall within what can be considered the normal range. They may seem excessive to you...since you stated on your chart that you don't bleed very much."

"But...I...there's no way...I could...have..."

"Those bad cramps you described on your paperwork...I think we've found the cause of them...and the blockage, plus all that clotting, probably explains why your don't have much of a menstrual flow..."

I slumped against Sam, and felt her shaking arms go around my shoulders. "Carls...it's...it's g-going to be okay."

I held onto my own arms, and started rocking back and forth. "Oh God...no...oh my God." I whispered.

Dr. Anderson leaned across the desk, and smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, Carly...you're in very capable hands. One thing though...since your blood type is AB negative, we recommend that you bank a pint with us before we schedule you for..."

According to Sam, we didn't leave the doctor's office for another fifteen minutes...but that's really all I remember...

A/N: Well...shall I continue? Your feedback inspires...and encourages...me to continue to spend my (scarce) free time writing...