Okay so this is for The Hoe-Equation, a lovely man I met on Gaia, and because of his obvious beauty I decided to give him a lovely fic to match his face. And so this is the working of my brain. Regular PV.

Sasuke moaned a little as he heard his door open. There was a hand on his shoulder shaking him awake and he batted at it, much like a cat would. The hand didn't let up and he was about to turn around to see who was suicidal enough to wake him when a cold glass of water was dumped onto his head. He screamed, jolting from the covers. He turned his head and glared at his brother, who was just smirking.

" WHAT THE FUCK, ITACHI!" The older pointed to the clock and Sasuke jumped out of his bed and rushed into the bathroom. He was going to be late. After taking a quick shower he rushed back into his bedroom, seeing that his brother was on his computer. " What the hell are you doing?"

" Nothing really. Waiting for you." He said, laconic as ever. " I was going to give you a ride today, after all."

Sasuke instantly stopped and turned around. " WHAT? THEN WHY DID YOU WAKE ME THIRTY MINUTES EARLY?"

" You should get into the habit of sleeping in, little brother." Itachi said as he dodged a shoe that was being thrown at him. He smirked and turned to Sasuke, who was red in the face from anger. " If you don't want me to give you a ride..."

" No! No...Don't you even dare..." Sasuke said pulling on his black slacks. Next was a dark blue polo, which he tucked into his pants. It was annoying that he had to wear this uniform since he was just going to wear that stupid little apron thing over it. He just wished he could wear a band tee and some jeans like they did at Ichiraku. He sighed and went back into the bathroom, opening his medicine cabinet and pulling out a bottle of gel. He ran it through the back of his hair, making sure it had that signature spike before leaving to see Itachi swinging his keys around his finger.

Sasuke walked out of his room, with his brother leading the way. He grabbed his house key and his wallet from the kitchen counter, mentally thanking his brother for leaving them there instead of putting it somewhere stupid, like back in his room. He opened it and saw that he had no money! He turned his head and a twenty was pushed into his possession by Itachi. The younger glared, he had had two hundred for the week!

" I'll pay you back on Wednesday." Itachi said offhandedly. Sasuke grunted in response. Itachi usually didn't go back on his word. Usually. But he should have been expecting that. Itachi had been a little strapped for cash now-a-days since his parents' money had started to run dry. Their funeral had practically drained the account, leaving Itachi to work full-time at his father's company. And because of that, they still lived in the family house, still had maids, still had everything they should have. Even Sasuke had done his part to help, getting a part time job so they could have a little cash to burn and help pay off some of his college tuition. However that was going to change soon since Itachi had convinced Sasuke to join the company, working under him as his apprentice until he was old enough to become vice-president. Which was a lot easier said than done. He could probably take that spot at about twenty-two though, the same age his brother assumed power.

Itachi shoved a buttered English Muffin into his mouth, making the younger Uchiha cough a little around the bread. " Breakfast is important." Was all he said before he opened the front door; he made the ladies first motion and Sasuke rolled his eyes. He walked out into the courtyard, many of the maids waved to him as he went to the carport. He looked back and saw that Itachi was already chatting away on his cell phone. Sasuke huffed and walked up to the jet black Mercedes that belonged to his brother. He heard the locks open as Itachi pressed the button on his keys and opened the door. He sighed with contentment as he felt the red leather with his palms. One day he would have a bitchin' car like this. " Yeah. I'm just dropping Sasuke off and I'll be right there...Just stall Deidara, I will be there in literally five minutes."

Sasuke's eyes widened at the sound of that. Itachi was a speed demon, he never went the speed limit. Ever. And surprisingly, he never got a ticket. Sasuke on the other hand, wasn't so lucky and would get tickets for the most random things, like not waiting exactly five seconds at a stop light...Three and a half seconds was apparently too fast...Stupid cameras. And because of his tickets, Itachi had suspended his privilege to drive until the end of this week.

He made sure to fasten his seat belt before Itachi revved the engine and pulled out of the carport. He pressed the button that opened the gate to the Uchiha manor and slammed on the gas. The gate was barely open wide enough before Itachi drove through. Sasuke grabbed onto the handle that was above his window and started to count his blessings, you know, just in case today was the day Itachi finally took his life. Itachi was weaving in and out of traffic, receiving many honks and people's swears as he passed, the Uchiha just whistled. Sasuke knew fiddling with the radio would take his mind off his brother's insane driving. He turned it on, going through every station before pulling out the CDs Itachi kept in his glove box. He was flipping through the little book of them, and landed on a very peculiar sight. His brother had an...Adam Lambert CD? He looked at his brother like he had the plague, Itachi looked back with a smirk on his face. " He's a beautiful man..." Came Itachi's glib reply.

Well, the younger Uchiha couldn't deny that. But he did wonder when Itachi had bought this, probably when they took that trip to America last week. He just shrugged off his shock, pulling the CD out and pushing it into the slot. He pushed the seek button until he landed on 'For Your Entertainment,' his secret favorite song of the month. Itachi turned up the volume, making Sasuke wonder if his brother and himself had picked the same secret favorite song of the month. If they had they couldn't tell each other since, well, it was a secret. Itachi suddenly took a sharp right turn, making his tired screech loudly as the car lurched out of the road. Sasuke covered his eyes, not wanting to know how close he was coming to death.

He heard a click and pulled his hands away from his eyes, looking down to see Itachi had undone his seat belt. He glanced up towards the windshield and saw that he had safely arrived at work. He tried to open the door, cursing slightly he realized the locks were still on. Itachi pressed the unlock button as soon as Sasuke tried the handle again. He mentally swore as Itachi smirked a little to himself. They continued to play the little game for a couple more minutes until Sasuke completely just let go of the door and sat in his seat with a pout on his lips. He heard the door unlock and he smirked reaching for the handle to hear it lock again. Itachi let out a sinister laugh as Sasuke rolled down the window. He swung his legs out first and that's when Itachi, being the evil mastermind that he is, unlocked the door and opened it. Sasuke was pulled out of the car by his leg that was still dangling out the window. He landed on the ground beside the car and moaned with pain because his head scraped the ground. He pulled his leg out of the window and stood back up, brushing his clothes off and slamming the door. Itachi leaned out his window.

" Aren't you forgetting something?" Itachi called out the window, Sasuke stopped mid-step and turned around to look at his brother. He walked back to the car and stuck his head into the window. Itachi grabbed his by the chin, pulling him dangerously close to his face. He breathed hotly against Sasuke's ear, making him shudder slightly. He felt Itachi drop something down his shirt and it made him jump when the coldness scrapped against his stomach. " You left your wallet in the car." He said in a matter-of-fact way. " Don't get anything to eat tonight, I'll bring something home. I hope you're in the mood for Italian." Sasuke scoffed and nodded, reaching down his shirt to retrieve his wallet. " Have a nice day little brother, I'll see you when I get home."

" Okay, have a good day at work, make lots of friends." It was Itachi's turn to scoff then. He rolled up both windows and waved to Sasuke before speeding off into the distance. Sasuke turned just in time to see Sai pulling up to work on his bike. He pushed it into the bike rack, locking it up with a bright pink lock that reminded Sasuke of his most hated costumer, who seemed to come in everyday and thought he was her boyfriend. " Sai."

" Good morning Sasuke." Sai said flipping his hair a little. He gave the Uchiha one of his signature smiles as they walked up to the building, Sasuke pulled out his keys, and unlocked the door. Sai walked in ahead of the Uchiha flipping on the lights and the sign that informed costumers that the store open. They both walked to the back, when their boss came into the front, smirking at the two of them.

" Ah, if it isn't my favorite workers." The two of them looked back, both mentally preparing themselves for their boss' strange behavior. Hakkaku, who had hired them for one simple reason. They attracted female and gay costumers. Sasuke brushed off his boss' hand when it came to rest on his shoulder, Sai also shrugged out of the touch. He just ignored his employees rejections and followed them into the kitchen.

" Did it ever occur to you that we're you're favorite workers because you haven't hired anyone else?" Sai said casually, which made Hakkaku laughed dejectedly. He handed Sasuke and Sai there aprons as the bell rang, signaling the arrival of costumers. Hakkaku was already prepping the finishing touches for the ramen when Sai and Sasuke entered the front, ready to take the orders.

TO OUR OTHER HERO!

Naruto jolted when he heard his alarm clock go off. He slapped around his bed side table, searching in vain for the horrible device. He then realized that it was in fact his cell phone's alarm. He grabbed the small contraption, scrolling down to the dismiss setting before rolling over, determined to get more sleep. That's when his actual alarm went off. He mentally cursed himself for being so clever. Setting more than one alarm was the smart thing to do when he was trying to wake himself up. He sometimes even set the timer on his oven, but most of the time he didn't since it required him to do math. He hated math. Naruto rolled over, wiping his mouth of the drool that was dried in the corner and looked at the clock. He could either take a twenty minute shower, or sleep. He weighed his options before deciding to get up. If he had chosen to sleep, he would not have woken up again.

After finishing up his shower and spiking up his hair a little. He smiled sleepily at himself and chuckled a little. He walked out into his kitchen, putting a kettle on the stove. He waited impatiently for the water to boil and when it finally whistled he took it off the heat, pouring a healthy dose into his instant cup ramen. He now had to wait three minutes, which he spent putting on his work clothes, deodorant, and making faces at himself in the mirror. He smelled his clothes and walked back into his room, spraying himself with something Kiba got him for his birthday. It was imported from America, called Axe or Hatchet or something weird like that. All he knew was it was from America and it made him smell nice. He walked back into his kitchen and grabbed his ramen, noting it was the perfect texture. He sighed with contentment as he put his chop sticks in, about to take the first bite. But that moment was cut off with the blaring of a car horn. It was Kiba. Naruto looked out the window and waved to his friend. He ran to the door, ramen in hand, and went to open Kiba's door, finding it to be locked.

" Dude, there is NO WAY you're eating that in my car. Not after last time." Kiba said as he rolled down the window. Naruto sighed and shoved quickly devoured his ramen, the dog lover looked mildly disturbed. He unlocked the door and Naruto slipped into the passenger side regarding his friend with a smile. " How was your night man?"

" Boring as hell, how do you think?" Naruto replied stretching his neck out a little, it cracked making Kiba gross out. He turned onto the freeway, yawning a little as Naruto lounged in the passenger seat. " We should go out tonight."

" That's a great idea man!" He said with a smile. " I haven't gotten completely plastered to where I fall down in the streets in awhile."

When they finally got to work they both sighed with contentment, smelling the sweetness of Ichiraku's ramen. They both turned their heads to glare at the rival ramen shop that was across the street, Tsumibukaki no yokubō. They only hired pretty, classic Japanese looking boys to cater to the gay and female costumers, winning them over easily. Naruto huffed, putting his arms behind his head. Their boss welcomed them warmly as they entered the shop.

" Naruto, Kiba, how are you both this fine morning?"

" Good, Teuchi!" They both said with smiles on their face. Ayame walked past them, patting Naruto on the head as she regarded them kindly. They both said their hellos to her before she disappeared into the kitchen. Kiba flipped the sign, saying that they were open and walked behind the counter. A man walked in, setting down at the bar with a smile on his face.

" I like this place so much better than that other place across the street, its much more cozy in here. Less dominating, you get what I mean right?"

" No sir, I don't." Naruto replied. " But that's because I've never been over there. We don't exactly mingle with them."

" I see." He said and ordered a bowl of miso ramen with extra barbecue pork. He ate it with a content look. " Though, frankly spoken, the two raven haired boys who work there are quite attractive. They really wow the women. I don't even think the women eat the food they order because they're so busy staring. But their good looks have nothing on the environment this place has, very nice and mellow. Makes me feel as though I'm home." He said placing money on the bar, he gave a fat tip to Naruto and smiled a little before leaving. He flashed his money at Kiba who punched him a little in the arm.

" This is the money we're using tonight." Naruto said, dancing around a little. Kiba shook his head a little and took the money out of the blond's hand. " HEY!"

" Knowing you, you'll lose this. I'll keep it safe." Kiba said, stuffing the money into his front pocket. Naruto rolled his eyes and went to tend on a different costumer who walked in.

-BACK TO SASUKE!-

Sasuke sat bored by the phone. Sai and him took turns for who would be the delivery boy, usually all the calls were made when Sasuke was working as the delivery boy. He had no idea how those crazy girls found out when he was working and not Sai. He mentally shuddered and looked down as soon as the phone rang. He grabbed it and rolled his eyes, grabbing a pad of paper. " Tsumibukaki no yokubō, home of sinful desire's ramen, how may I help you?"

" Uh yeah, hi. I wanted to place an order for three bowls of miso ramen and two bowls of the house special." Sasuke wrote down the order, a little surprised to hear a man's voice. It wasn't as though they didn't call, it was just they didn't call nearly as often. You'd think more men would call since their rival didn't deliver.

" Hn. Alright and what is your address?" Sasuke's eyes narrowed a little when he heard laughing in the background. His eyebrow twitched with annoyance as full out laughter came out from the other line. " Is this you Naruto, my dearest dobe?"

" Indeed it is Sasuke-teme. How have you been? Heard you went to America for a week and that business took a bit of a plunge."

" Aw sounds like someone missed me. America was a hell of a lot better than here, I'll tell you that much. And that's what Hakkaku said, but I doubt it. He still had Sai and he's much more of a ladies man than I am. I may get more phone numbers but he gets all the dates."

" As if I could really miss you. Aww, are you sad you're not getting as much action Teme?"

" As if I wanted to date these...Stalkers." Sasuke said with a wave of the hand and smirk as he heard Naruto snort with laughter. " I would rather not end up locked up in a trunk thank you. Besides, who needs women when I got you."

" Don't get all sentimental on me Teme; it is getting close to our one year."

Sasuke smirked a little to himself. It was a true enough statement, he received a call from Naruto the first day he started working and from then on he received a call everyday after that. First call was annoying, Naruto mocked him the entire time but he did leave his name and told him that he worked across the street at Ichiraku's. On the fourth call, Sasuke revealed his own identity to the boy. By the hundredth call they actually casually discussed their home lives, he had learned about Itachi and how evil he could be and Naruto told him about how he lived alone with his plants. And as stimulating as it was to talk to Naruto and get to know him, the Uchiha still had no idea what he looked like. Not that it really mattered. Naruto's daily phone calls had somehow made this living nightmare just that much better.

But he still didn't quite recall the first time they ever played around with the notion of sex. He believed it started around call forty, but he wasn't sure. It just somehow turned into dating and sex innuendos throughout the calls and neither party complained nor stopped when things started to get a little off the deep end. Not that the customers minded.

Sai walked past Sasuke. " Is that your boyfriend?" Sasuke nodded with a smirk. The other raven rolled his eyes and walked to the kitchen, grabbing two bowls.

" It's sweet that you remember when I started working here. How will we celebrate our one year? It is tomorrow after all."

" How about we meet for the first time so I can kick some sense into your pansy ass Teme? You should work at Ichiraku's, not that weird ass place."

Now there was a common subject too. They had talked about meeting face to face more than a few times and on one of their more sexual binges talked about what they would do when they finally saw each other. Of course there was the stupid notion of running into each others arms and exchanging kisses. But then Naruto took that all a step farther when he said that he'd fuck Sasuke, no questions asked. And Sasuke had laughed, agreeing to such an obscene plan.

" Hn. I only have to work here for about nine more months before I can call it quits for good and work for my brother. They say my apprenticeship will speed up the process of getting my business degree. But you know what I find strange though?"

" Hm?"

" Why are you so obsessed with the notion of me working at Ichiraku's? Do you wanna see me every day for hours at a time, covered in ramen?" He heard a sputter on the other line, he knew that meant he had embarrassed the blond. And he would do it plenty more times. " As I thought."

" Why would I want to see you covered in ramen? I'd rather see you naked."

And here came the sexual fun that seemed to entice the costumers to move closer. " Well, you'd have to slurp the ramen off me so I'd be naked."

" I can tell our first meeting is going to be intense. Lots of ramen sex."

Sasuke couldn't help but laugh a little at that. Ramen sex, what a strange concept. He rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, putting his feet up. " Indeed. So that means I'm finally going to see you tomorrow?"

" Maybe teme. Perhaps I'll stop by today and grace you with my ungodly sexiness."

Sasuke had always played around with the notion of what Naruto looked like. He had a hot voice, but then again people could have hot voices but faces that didn't match. He really didn't want Naruto to turn out to be an obese man. Now that would be a shock he didn't want. And he knew that Naruto wondered what he looked like because he had asked the Uchiha once. Of course Sasuke wasn't one to ruin the fun and said that he'd have to wait and find out. He had asked Sai what Naruto looked like but the raven just shrugged, noting that he had probably seen him but didn't know it.

" Just to let you know, I'm going out tonight. Maybe we can meet up somewhere."

The Uchiha licked his lips a little. " Oh yeah? Where are you going?" Why was he getting so nervous? It was true that he had wanted to see what Naruto looked like for a long time now but he didn't want to be this nervous at the very notion of making plans to see him. He breathed out his anxiousness.

" Actually, I don't know...Kiba and I haven't decided where yet. All we know is we're going out."

" You're real helpful, you know that?" Sasuke said, pushing his bangs out of his face. " But whatever, if I gave you my cell number we could probably do something." He could tell that Naruto was getting nervous. He had the same anticipation and nervousness and Sasuke liked that.

" Yeah sure, what's your number teme?" Sasuke rattled off the digits to his cell and was surprised to receive a text from Naruto so he could have his number as well. If anything they could be friends. Awkward friends, but friends none the less. " Well I gotta go teme. Text me if you can hang out tonight."

" Will do. Bye, dobe." Sasuke hung up as soon as Sai walked around to the podium. He looked a bit tired and stretched out a little.

" Do you wanna go out and do something tonight?" He said leaning over. Sasuke shrugged, he knew this plan with Naruto probably wouldn't work out anyway and Itachi was bringing home Italian, which meant creamy garlic. Nothing good and tomato saucy. And Itachi did that just to spite him.

" Yeah, okay. What time?"

" I was thinking about nine. Give time to eat a little something before we get some alcohol in us." Sai said with a nod. " Oh and you'll be going to a gay bar with me." Sasuke gave Sai a strange look. Last time the Uchiha checked, the raven standing in front of him was straight. " I know what you're thinking. I'm Bi, remember? That's why I've been trying to weasel my way into your tight pants Sasuke."

How could Sasuke forget about all of Sai's failed attempts to woo him? They had all been pathetic and stupid and Sai just felt like a jackass afterward, however, Sasuke did give points for persistence and at the very least, a valiant effort.

" Okay whatever, but the first strange guy with eight or more piercings who hits on me is the signal to leave." Sai nodded with a smile.

-:P-

WHAT DID CHA THINK! WAS IT STUPID? AMAZING? POST YER REPLY!

Rye: Hey Hitoko you need to start the next...chapter...Who the hell is on your leg?
Me: What're you doing here?
Rye: I asked you a question first.
Me: Oh, this is The Hoe-Equation. He's glued himself to my leg.
Hoe: HELLO! I love Hitoko-Sama
Rye: I can see that...I'm going to leave...
Me: Don't leave! You are the moon to my endless night!
Hoe: What about me?
Me: You're the candle during the storm of my heart...
Hoe: Hurray! This was Hitoko-sama!