Chapter 3

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? You're sorry? It's three years."

"You stay here and be happy and I'll go there and be happy."

"If You get on that plane. If you go without me, WE ARE DONE. Do you hear me? We are over."

"We are standing in the middle of a airport screaming at each other. We're already over."

Callie's POV

I wasn't sure how long that I had been staring at that box, when Mark came in. I never looked up at him.

"You paged me 911. You must have become your rock star" Mark walked around the table saying. "Let me see." He stopped when he realized that wasn't why I paged him. I still couldn't speak. "Go Robbins!"

"Mark, what do I do?"

"Well for starters." Mark closed the box, that I had yet to take my eyes off of. "Look at me." I looked up at Mark with a look of complete desperation. "For starters we are going to stop looking at this." He moved the box away from me.

"I was so mad at her and she sits this here and now I don't know what I feel."

"As your friend, I feel like I need to tell you this. The days after we found out that Robbins won the Carder-Madison, you were….well….a bitch."

"Mark!"

"You were. She won this major grant and all she wanted was for you to be happy with her. You were going to go with her and you were still upset. When we were at the going away party.."

"That wasn't a party."

"See. You started and then the chief was telling you this stuff that he had plans for and you were just mean to her."

"I was not."

"You were. She told you that you were ruining it for her and you were."

"So you are saying this was my fault? God why is everyone saying that?"

"Whole world isn't gonna lie on you, Torres."

"You and Cristina aren't the whole world. I totally get that you think you are, but you aren't."

"Remember that I said you were a chic getting double D sized cuz her girlfriend liked a nice rack?"

"I told you I loved her."

"She was hurt. She wanted to share that with you. Am I saying it's your fault? No. Am I saying that you are fifty percent to blame? At least."

"Thanks. You are suppose to have my back."

"Look, if someone doesn't tell you the truth you are never going to forgive that woman that loves you. You are going to lose the love of your life if you don't talk to her."

Arizona's POV

I hadn't seen Callie since I gave her the ring, but it was finally the end of really long day. I was walking down the stairs when Mark was coming toward me. "Good luck, Robbins." He said smiling as he passed me on the stairs. I came to the bottom and started out the front door when I heard a familiar voice call my name.

"Arizona."

I turned to see Callie. I returned her smile. "Yes?"

I felt my knees weaken as she walked toward me. I was sure that she could hear my heart beating. She finally spoke. "I…I thought maybe we could talk."

"I'd like that."

"We could go to the apartment and I could make you dinner. April is on call so we would have the apartment alone."

"Ok." That was all I could manage to say. I followed behind her as she walked out of the hospital.

When we walked into the apartment and Callie apologized for the mess. Turns out April had decorated for Christmas and was now taking them down just days before the New Year. "I haven't been here much lately."

"I've heard that."

Callie laid her purse on the bar and I followed her lead. Neither one was speaking. Neither one of us knowing what to say. "I don't know if you heard me the day other day…..but….your hair?"

"Yeah, you can thank Cristina for that."

"Cristina?"

"Yeah, she was going through some stuff, I was going through some stuff and I mentioned that I thought about cutting my hair and the rest is history. She was behind me with scissors that I so didn't see and she just cut a long lock of it off. So I had a choice, cut the rest to match or walk around in a scrub cap for 6 months." Callie must have noticed the huge smile that I could feel forming on my face. She returned the smile nervously. "What?"

"That's the most you have said to me since I came home. I missed just hearing your voice. I missed you."

Callie turned and grabbed a bottle of wine. "Drink?"

"Oh god, please." Callie chuckled as she handed me the glass. "So how have you been?"

"Good. Chief Webber made good on his promise. I got some great new equipment in Ortho."

"Good. I'm glad that things worked out for you. That everything was good."

I know that Callie sensed the disappointment in my voice. "It wasn't all good. Being here, in this apartment, was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I could almost hear your voice sometimes."

"Callie, I am so sorry. I am sorry that I didn't talk to you more about the Carder-Madison, that I put you in a position to make you feel that you had to go. The one thing that I am the most sorry for is leaving you in that airport."

Callie quickly gulped the entire glass of wine. After she regained her breathing, she spoke. "I resented it. A grant. I resented a grant. One that helps children. I hated it." Callie rambled off as she poured another glass. "We were in this place, this good place and then you got the grant and I knew everything would change immediately."

"I think we all knew you hated it. No doubts here."

"I am sorry, Arizona. I loved you and you won this major award that no one actually wins and I was proud of you."

I was still set back by the first sentence. "You loved me? You make it sound like you don't now."

"If I told you that someone having the much power over didn't scare me, then that would be a lie. We survived my family, and babies, and a gunman. We moved in together and were happy, then we left for the airport and you are telling we have been over. If I said that I trust you, it would be a lie."

"Ok. I understand that. Callie, because I love you I want the best for you. I want you to have the world at your fingertips. I want to be there when you are your rock star and hold you when cry because a patient dies. I WANT the best for you. You never, at any point, wanted Africa. I won this unbelievable grant and I couldn't turn it down, but I couldn't make you miserable either. It was mine to do, not yours. It wasn't fair."

"What wasn't fair was I didn't get a choice. How do I know that you wouldn't do that again? How do I know that ten years down the road you wouldn't do that again?"

"You don't. All I can say is I did what I thought was best for both of us. I lived that, Callie. Ten years down the road I will love you ten times more than I do now and I will remember the worst two months of my life. I will remember being that far away from you and wanting to hold you so bad that it made me sick."

"You say that now."

"I can't make you trust me, Callie. All I can do is ask that you try."

Callie filled her glass again. "I just….I don't know." She gulped the glass again.

"Callie, please. Now I am the one standing here begging you. You don't have to tell me tonight, but let me try. Let me try and make you trust me again, love me again."

"You scare me."

"And this scares me. Not having you terrifies me. Please."

"So what are you suggesting we try?"

"Slow."

Callie looked at me as she drank her fourth glass of wine. It was obvious dinner was out. "That ring, you mean that?" I nodded yes. "You are ready for that kind of commitment?"

Again I nodded yes. "I love you, Callie. I never doubted that, but if I thought for one second that I wanted a life that doesn't involves you in anyway, I learned my lesson. I don't want to spend one more day of my life without you."

I watched as Callie rounded the bar and stood right in front of me. "I am sorry that I made you feel like your grant was a burden to me. I am sorry that I made you feel that Africa would be better without me. I love you Arizona and I could take you back right now and go in that bedroom and be up with you all night, but in the morning I would worry you would leave. No matter how angry I got at you, I could never leave you like that. I don't know how to forget that."

"And I am sorry that I did this to us." I picked up my purse "I should go. You clearly aren't ready to put this behind you. I understand." I was now standing in front of Callie looking into her eyes. Both of our eyes searching for something we had missed. Searching for the love that we had before that day. "I will go."

As I walked around Callie she didn't move. Just before I got to the door, she spoke, "I do love you. I haven't stopped loving you. I couldn't."

She didn't turn toward me so I walked back in front of her where she was looking at the floor. "Look at me. I will fix this. I promise, I will fix us." I reached out and took Callie cheek then pulled her lips to mine. I don't remember ever kissing Callie that way. It was two people that loved each other so much, but had somehow lost their way. It was soft and romantic, then it was deep and passionate. I felt Callie slid the purse from my shoulder and pull me in tighter.

Her hand found the bottom of my shirt and unbuttoned the bottom one. I stopped her. "Callie we don't….."

Callie looked deep into my eyes. "I need to be near you. I need you next to me when I wake up in the mornings. I wanna fix us, but tonight I need you."

That was all Callie had to say. Before I knew it, I was helping her remove every piece of clothing we both had on. Callie was right, she could have stayed up with me all night. She did. We made love over and over until I saw every ounce of worry and fear fade from Callie's eyes. Til she looked at me without hurt and anger. We made love until I saw in her eyes the one thing I needed; love. I knew then that love is never hopeless and never finished growing. I knew I had never loved Callie more.

The End