So! Back with another humor story from yours truly! :D

Yeah, I'm back... lately I've been writing sadder fics for PH, as I guess some of you know, and I recently started a multi-chapter fic for Fullmetal Alchemist- if any of you know that manga, tell me! :D So I guess that I'm a bit out of practice.

I think that my writing lacks a bit of... juice, so to speak, and the idea isn't all that original. But, I still think that it was fun to write, and it was fun to divulge secrets of the Pandora Hearts cast's personal lives.

I guess I should do some warnings, because this gets really extreme at points...

Pairings: None obvious! Suggested Oz/Alice; Elliot/Leo (This is just Break's teasing) and... Gilbert/Vincent... (but no more so than there already is) Break/Sharon (brother/sister, or if chosen to be taken that way, onesided-Sharon crushing...)
Rating: K+ for: Elliot's potty mouth xD; Break's teasing; and kissing/romance issues. No graphics; just talk.
Warnings: Elliot-torture; scary Oz; massively too-smart-and-cunning Ada, and choking! Not to mention stuff that is majorly cracky.

ENJOY!

"Favorite cake flavor?"

Gilbert's hand shook.

Oz gave Alice his most charming smile and replied, "Chocolate!"

A loud gulp was heard as every eye in the room turned to look at Gilbert. Oz gave him a distinctly evil-looking glare. (Gilbert made himself a mental note not to go near Oz for at least an hour. Oz made a mental note to borrow Ada's cats.) All the other players, both young and old, stared at him with mild interest and amusement. Even Alice, who was not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, had figured it out by now. Gilbert was Oz's tell.

Not poker, or anything like that, but Gilbert was most definitely the reason that Oz was losing. And for that reason alone, Oz had decided that Gilbert would lose too. (Maybe not that reason alone. It was sort of fun, too.)

Alice hopped up and pointed down at her beloved 'manservant.' One of the most amusing aspects of the game was Alice's unpredictability. "You LIE!" she shouted dramatically.

Oz promptly sighed and gave her one of his few remaining 'prizes.'

The game that they were playing was one of his own invention: "The Liar Game." Okay, maybe the title was a bit more dramatic than necessary, but it was still fun. And maybe the prize was whatever happened to be in the players' pockets when they began, but everyone was looking forward to getting Break's prize.

Too bad the old man was impossible to beat.

They moved in a clockwise direction, starting with Oz, because he'd come up with the Game. Every person in the circle had a deck of makeshift 'cards' that were really just people's names written on pieces of paper. You could choose anyone in your deck to ask your question; but you could only choose someone once before choosing everybody else. Once choosing your 'target', you proceeded to ask them a personal question. Well, the question didn't have to be personal, but it was definitely more interesting that way.

The person could reply any way, truth or lie. The questioner then had to guess if it was truth or lie, and depending on the answer, say… Truth or lie. (You guessed it.) If the questioner guessed wrong, either way, then the target received… a certain 'prize' that came from the questioner's stacks. But if caught in a lie, the target had to pay the questioner.

Right now, Oz was losing badly.

Not surprisingly, Break was by far in the lead.

Sharon giggled insanely and began shuffling at her cards. She was getting way too into the game. She stared at Break, apparently determined to catch the sneaky bastard.

"Have you ever been kissed?"

They all groaned and knocked their heads on the floor. It had to be the fourth time that Sharon had asked that particular question. (Elliot was beginning to contemplate just scaring her away already.)

Oh, Elliot had been roped into it too. (Did you really think Oz would let a chance to annoy and humiliate his dear Nightray friend slip by?) He claimed that he had been tricked into it, but really, it had gone something like this: When Elliot refused the first time, Oz suggested that he couldn't beat them all. And… that was it. (Not every story has to be amazingly complex.)

But Sharon knew all about Break, AND she knew every detail of every person in the Rainsworth household's love life. They were all looking forward to watching Break go down.

Break smiled cheekily. "Yup!"

(How unlikely that was.)

"AHA!" Sharon shrieked, and did an odd mixture of squealing and giggling. "YES! YOU LIE!"

"NOPE~"

"Whaaaat?" Sharon gave Break her most disappointed look. "Noo! You're still lying. You told me that you hadn't had your first kiss yet!"

Elliot snorted and leaned over to whisper in Leo's ear a disparaging comment about the manliness of discussing with girls your romantic life. Needless to say, this whispered comment was not private at all. Oz and Gilbert both stared at him (Oh yes, they had been subjected to the torture too) until he blushed and ducked his head contritely.

"You asked whether I'd been kissed, my lady," Break said, grinning. He was enjoying this far too much. "I have been a great deal, in fact. By you, even." He pointed to his cheek.

"But…" Sharon wilted, but gave up. "I can't argue with that…"

And so Break claimed yet another 'prize.' He looked around the circle and pointed to Leo. The small servant ducked his head and smiled, glasses flashing.

"Little Leo! Is it true that the maids over at Nightray Manor caught you and the young master-"

The question was entirely forgotten when Elliot hurled a teapot at his head, his face bright red. It was generally assumed that the answer to this question was a firm no.

Gilbert was up next. He was clutching only one card in his big hands, with faintly curling script that read 'Oz."

He looked up at his master, directly across the circle from him, and then looked back down at the paper. He looked back up at Oz, who obviously knew his predicament, and was giving him the wicked stare that he always gave right before a 'cat attack.' Gil shuddered.

"O-Oz?"

"Yes, Gil!" Oz practically screamed.

"Um, do you like…" Gilbert raked his head for a suitable question. Unfortunately, the only thing that popped up in his head was exactly how Oz would kill him through the use of cats. "Cats?"

Oz's smiled brightened. "No!"

They all stared at Oz, and then at Gilbert. It was completely obvious that he was lying.

"…Truth." Gilbert said much too quickly. Without even waiting for Oz to finish up with his charade, he chucked him a piece of candy won off of Leo.

Oz pumped his fist into the air and quickly scraped his meager hoard together.

"You two are such cheaters," Elliot accused, glaring at the pair over his cards. He was constantly missing turns for being too 'Elliot-ish.' (Although this was mostly Break's fault.)

Gilbert sighed wanly and reached to pick a cigarette out of the white cardboard box sitting in his pile, his normal escape for when life became much too annoying for him to handle.

Elliot swatted his hand and glared. "NO SMOKING FROM THE PRIZE PILE!"

He was also getting way too into this game.

The cards in Elliot's hand read 'Alice, Sharon, Break,' and 'Leo.' Elliot looked at his choices. Break would rob him of everything. He was kind of scared of Alice… and even more so of Leo. The choice was (kind of) clear.

"Lady Sharon," he said politely, "what's your favorite color?"

Six pairs of eyes stared at him as if to say 'Really? You're using the color question?' Elliot blushed light pink and looked down at the floor.

"Blue!" Sharon said cheerfully, tipping her head to the side.

Elliot looked her up and down. She was smiling in her very most sparkly way and her hair was tied back into a high ponytail with a pink ribbon. Her dress was one of those frilly pink things that looked like a cake had thrown up all over it. Heck, even her eyes were pink.

"Lie," he said nonchalantly.

While everyone else around them rolled their eyes, Sharon pouted. She looked over to Break. "How did he find out?"

"I have no idea, my lady," Break said, and rolled his eyes again.

"My turn!" Leo said cheerfully, while Elliot took a pink hair ribbon from Sharon with noted disgust. Leo always cheered when it was his turn. He also seemed to be winning, all while managing to keep up that innocent exterior.

Leo picked Alice. He smiled a small smile that might have been sincere or just sarcastic. "Are you and Oz a couple?"

The reactions to this were varied.

Elliot spluttered- he wasn't really anxious to find out more about Oz's personal life- Gilbert turned white, Break giggled, and Sharon looked a combination of annoyed and excited. Ada seemed to be just… curious.

"Ehh? No way!" Oz said cheerfully.

"Oh." Leo thought for a second, making his cutest face. He surveyed the pair. "...Okay then."

Break made a snarky comment about Leo's mental state, resulting in Elliot throwing another thing at him.

"Your turn, Ada!" Leo said peppily. He smiled at her in a sickeningly sweet way, and she smiled back. Thick as thieves, those two.

Ada looked around. She seemed determined to make Gilbert lose. (A secret grudge, perhaps, or maybe she just found it as enjoyable to torture Gil as Oz did.) "Um, Master Gilbert-"

Gilbert spluttered at that.

"-are you allergic to cats?"

"YES." Gilbert exclaimed with relief. "I'm very allergic. Very, very allergic. My whole face turns red and swells up if I even see a cat. And if I touch one-"

With a little 'rawr' from Dinah, Ada set her small gray cat on Gil.

He went down almost immediately. Everyone watched with interest- there did seem to be lot of tears on his face, and certainly he didn't look like he was enjoying it, but there was a noticeable lack of swelling and redness.

"Lie," Ada said matter-of-factly.

Elliot resolved never to mess with the young Vessalius girl.

"MY TURN!" Oz yelled.

"SHUT IT SHORTY, YOU'RE BREAKING MY EARS!"

"OH, AM I TALKING TOO LOUD!"

"WHAT THE-!"

Leo slammed his hand over Elliot's mouth just in time to save the ears of the children from scarring.

"ELLIOT!" Oz exclaimed.

"…What do you want?" Elliot said warily.

"What's your favorite animal?" he said sweetly.

Elliot stared at Oz. Favorite animal? What the hell? Were they in preschool? And, there was no way in hell that the Vessalius kid was finding out his favorite animal. "I like dogs the best."

Oz stared at him for maybe two seconds before screaming to the entire circle "LIE!"

He covered his ears. Damn the kid's perceptive abilities.

It was Alice's turn again, and apparently her curiosity was roused, because she chose Elliot too. She fixed her diamond eyes on him and glared. "If your favorite animal isn't a dog, then what is it?"

Elliot stared at his prize pile. There was just one small piece of chocolate left. Worth it or not?

"If you lose all your pieces," Oz reminded him (not-so helpfully), "then you lose the game."

Begrudgingly, Elliot sat up straight and looked at Alice. He was going to say it-

and no way in hell was he going to say that.

"Leoo!" Elliot whined. "What do I do?"

Leo smiled and tipped his head to the side. "Well, master, you could just go ahead and admit it."

"Whatt? Noo!"

"Then," he acknowledged, "There's always the option of dropping out."

"No way in hell!"

"Can you lie convincingly?" Leo asked.

"No…"

He chuckled. "Then you're on your own."

"Leoo!"

Elliot sat up again and stared at the young girl. He swallowed. "My favorite animal is… um…"

Leo thwacked him on the back.

"Bunnies!"

They all looked at him strangely. "…Bunnies? Honestly?"

"Well, yes!" Elliot defended himself. "I like bunnies! They're really cute, and they're all… soft, and fluffy, you know? Plus they nibble at you in such a cute way… and they're not vicious…"

The strange looks didn't stop.

"I DON'T HAVE TO DEFEND MYSELF TO YOU!"

Sharon sighed, and began to look at her 'cards' again. She smiled up at Ada, who was blinking innocently at her. She and Leo were both laid out flat on their stomachs, heads together. Thick as thieves indeed.

"Lady Ada!" she said sweetly.

"Y-yes!"

"Do you like dresses?"

And yet another girly question.

Ada smiled and rubbed her head. She was such an honest fool. "Um, no, not really."

Sharon surveyed her light pink and purple dress with cream trimmings. "LIES!"

"Ah-h?" Ada shrunk back in bewilderment. She waved her hands. "No, no, really! I'm telling the truth! I hate wearing all these froofy dresses and stuff! I only do so because Miss Kate always makes me…" Simpering, she wiped an imaginary tear from her eye.

"Oh…" Sharon wilted under the force of Ada's pouty face. "T-that's okay then… truth."

Ada accepted a piece of candy from Sharon, still slightly sniffling.

…Gilbert could have sworn that he saw his master's sister give Leo a high five behind Sharon's back. Oh yes, Ada was definitely Oz's sister.

And so the game continued. Ada grew a pile tantamount to Leo's, and yes, Break was still in the lead. Oz and Sharon, meanwhile, were losing horribly. (Yes, most of Oz's losses could be pinned on Gilbert.) Elliot grew more and more frustrated; while Gilbert just started wanting the game to be over.

The game continued until Liem Lunettes stepping through the door, carrying a message for Break. He surveyed the entire circle of people playing the childish game, none of whom happened be below the age of adulthood.

"..hm?"

Elliot flapped a hand at him and stared at Sharon across the circle. "Bug off! We're busy!"

How quaint.

"I see," Liem said the tiniest (only the TINIEST) bit sarcastically. "You're very involved in your game."

"We're playing for very high stakes," Leo said sagely, nodding his head.

Elliot gave him a look, trying to figure out if he was being sarcastic, he actually cared about the 'stakes', or he was just being his normal Leo self and saying things that didn't even make sense to himself.

"I see," Liem said politely, arching his eyebrow. He surveyed the contents of their various piles.

(1) Box of slightly damp and squashed looking cigarettes with only five cigarettes in it
(1) FULL box of normal cigarettes
(9) Pieces of candy
(1) Chocolate bar (that, granted, was looking a bit nibbled on)
(3) Colored hair ribbons
(1) Piece of string
(2) Sticky lollipops covered in gray dust and lint
(1) Crumbly cookie
(2) Crumbly brownie stuck to a napkin
(1) Key

"Really, Break?" Liem said with exhaustion. "Pawning off your key to Pandora's Headquarters?"

"It couldn't be helped," Break said cheerfully. "It was in my pocket."

"That's a new low, even for you."

Gilbert sighed. "It's all part of the game, Liem." He lit a cigarette.

The next moment, Elliot slapped Gilbert across the back. "DON'T SMOKE FROM THE GODDAMN PRIZE PILE, YOU IDIOT!"

Chaos ensued with Gilbert choking on his cigarette. He coughed and clutched at his throat with his hands while Sharon had a miniature spaz attack, Oz leaped across the circle, Break and Alice began laughing, Ada freaked out, Elliot yelled, and Leo shook his head.

And then, Vincent Nightray materialized behind Liem, scaring the living crap out of him. (It seemed he had Gilbert-radar.) He proceeded to flail his arms around, not helping Oz and Elliot, and rather getting in the way.

In the end, Gilbert coughed out half of one very sorry, soggy, looking cigarette.

Liem ended up pitying the people who had to deal with these people all day, before he realized that he was one of those people, and pity for others turned into pity for himself.

All part of the game indeed.

So, a lot of people here! :D Yeah, a brief camo from Vincent, and Liem's our closer of sorts... PROPS TO LIEM!

HE WILL NOT BE DEAD! Seriously, Liem's my FAVORITE character. He isn't dead. I'm standing by that; not only because I want him to be alive, but also because it doesn't make sense that he would be dead... I could bore you with a long list of reasons; but I think that most of you already know what I mean... It just doesn't make sense; there's no meaning. Nothing Jun does is meaningless; she doesn't kill people off and then have their best friends go on a psycho rant and have all sorts of clues and crap about said death and then... just finish it.

So, yeah. REVIEW SO THAT LIEM WILL BE ALIVE!