Disclaimer: Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I own nothing and this is for entertaining purposes only.

Chapter eight

My wounds are raw and need healing

It is not very often that Ichigo questions his choices in life. Hell, he fought for them with most of his family and friends and he decidedly told them to back the hell off when their words and actions became too much. However, standing here, pinned to the goddamn brick wall, dizzy due to the blow to his head and a bitter coppery taste in his mouth due to blood, he finally thinks that he should reconsider some things in his life. He did not even pay attention when he arrived at the club too damn happy about Byakuya and how things are evolving for them. This is why Grimm has taken him by surprise, slamming him hard against the wall and then turning him just in time to push forcefully his lips against his own, making Ichigo trying to get away from the vice-like grip.

Everything around him is muffled, although there is an annoying ringing in his left ear, the part where his head slammed in that wall. It is as if everything happens to someone else and he is a mere spectator. He wants to shove off the more muscled man, who tries to push his hips against Ichigo's, thinking that he might arouse him. There's sweat and alcohol mixed in Grimm's scent and Ichigo gags because he can't bare it.

"You thought you could keep on denying me the pleasure, didn't you?" Grimm hisses with such hate that Ichigo feels even more tapped. How come no one from the club came yet? How come nobody notices that he is late? Something warm continues to fall on his left side of the face and he feebly pushes at Grimm's body when the blue haired man leans for another kiss.

"I told you one day it would come to this." His personal stalker mumbles in his neck, nipping painfully at it. "I am going to split you open and shove myself so far into your body that you are going to beg me never to get out and you will forget all about that stupid asshole and you will finally have eyes only for me."

All snarky comments have left Ichigo the moment his head met with a brick wall, but he still wants to invite Grimm kindly to fuck off when all of the sudden the pressure on his neck disappears and Ichigo watches in slow motion how his attacker hits the ground with a thud, his cheek almost instantly swollen. Ichigo does not question the small miracle as he collapses to the ground and just breathes, ignoring the sudden urge to vomit. It would be too much, even for him and he really wants to just crawl inside his own body.

Grimmjow is standing again but almost instantly the mysterious savior punches him and it takes Ichigo a few moments to realize that his mysterious superhero is none other than Byakuya Kuchiki. His heart gives a painful lurch for there have not been many saviors in his life, and he would smile, he really would if moving even his lips wouldn't hurt so bad. Even in his lightheaded state, though he can almost feel Byakuya's rage as the older man keeps punching Grimm without any hesitation. When the blue haired man is finally on the ground, mostly moaning in pain, Byakuya looks at Ichigo at last.

There is an absolute moment suspended in the air, as if they see each other for the first time. There is a whirlwind of emotions in Byakuya's onyx eyes. Anger and affection and fear and something so incomprehensible that for a moment Ichigo thinks that the blow to his head must have been exceptionally hard, because he can't possibly imagine that the man standing in front of him like an avenging spirit is feeling for him something so profound.

Then Byakuya is kneeling in front of him, gently cupping his head trying to see in the faint light of the alley if he is hurt badly. And yes, Ichigo feels now even worse than before when he was enthralled as seeing Byakuya Kuchiki losing his cool, but he can't stop his lips from twitching a little.

"My own personal hero." He mumbles, slurring the words, pain shocking his system again.

"Apparently you need one." Sudden light illuminates the alley and Gin stands there shock stilled when he spots Grimmjow groaning in pain and Ichigo bloodied form.

"What the hell happened?" He asks alarmed but Byakuya seems in no mood to explain. However, his exclamation draws the attention of the others and before they know it, most of the staff from the club is out in the alley.

"Don't just stand there like some useless tools," Byakuya snaps, his anger far from disappearing from his voice, "call an ambulance and the police." Gin snaps into action and almost immediately calls the ambulance.

"No, no police." Ichigo groans, his fingers clenching on Byakuya's shirt. "I don't want to deal with those guys."

"Ichigo, listen to me." Byakuya's voice hardly penetrates his foggy mind. "This bastard needs to pay for what he has done to you.

"No paying, no anything. You already took care of that. I just want-" Ichigo stops thinking confused about what he is trying to say but words slip away from his tongue and his body is suddenly heavy and really he just wants to rest a little. He will deal with everything else later, because wondering how one's life becomes so screwed up in just a few seconds – well, wondering about it never solves anything. Therefore, he ignores Byakuya's panicked face and slips into a beautiful and painless oblivion.

Apparently, painless oblivion does not last because what feels like literally only minutes later, Ichigo becomes aware that there is an irritating beep inside his room. He tries to burrow himself deeper under the covers but the sound is even more irksome so he finally opens his eyes. The attempt is definitely sublime in its intention, but is totally unsuccessful in execution as barely one eye opens. The other eyelid is stubbornly refusing to do so and grudgingly Ichigo raises his hand just to meet a bandage surrounding half of his face. Interesting, this definitely has not been there before.

Just then a gentle touch pushes his orange hair from the forehead and even in his confused set of mind, Ichigo can't stop himself from smiling a little dopily at Byakuya Kuchiki. The raven-haired man smiles tiredly at him, his disheveled form a balm for Ichigo's anxiousness.

"What happened?" He mumbles and almost chokes on the words, enough for Byakuya to get a glass of water and help him drink a little through a straw.

"You were attacked by Grimmjow."

"I remember that part. I meant, what happened afterwards?"

"I didn't call the police, if this is what you mean." Byakuya retorts, his dissatisfaction floating in the air between the two of them.

"Thanks." Ichigo smiles feebly. "So what did the doctor say?"

"You have a serious concussion and he will keep you overnight for observation."

"I hate hospitals," Ichigo mumbles tiredly, his eyes feeling heavy again. There is a constant throb behind his eyes and he really does not want to know how he will feel when he wakes up again.

"Do you want me to call you parents or your sisters?"

"No, please don't."

"Very well."

Ichigo falls asleep again but during the night he is awaken several times for short questions and by the time morning arrives his headache is horrible and he just wants to go home, hating everybody. Especially Byakuya, who insists that maybe the doctor should keep Ichigo another day in the hospital just to make sure that everything is all right. Even with his face half bandaged and one eye horribly swollen, Ichigo still manages to glare so hard that Byakuya relents and takes him home.

Being home drastically improves Ichigo's mood. Byakuya and Renji help him get in the bed. With gentle and unhesitant moves, his hero manages to help him change in a t-shirt and pajama bottoms and afterwards, Ichigo falls blessedly asleep again, exhausted by the entire trip and the flight of stairs that he had to climb.

A few hours later, he wakes up to the sound of rain, small droplets of water pushing against the glass of his window in a soothing way. Byakuya's warm body is lying next to him, a warm hand resting on Ichigo's heart as if checking and making sure that it still beats. The young man turns a little, admiring Byakuya's profile in the warm glow of the lamp sitting on the far end of the room. The older man is dressed in a black t-shirt and some sweats which are definitely not Ichigo's, a clear sign that at some point, Renji must have brought these for Byakuya.

It is ridiculous how much Ichigo enjoys this quiet moment. In his sleep, Byakuya looks almost ten years younger, his face relaxed, his entire body screaming trust. His hair falls in all directions, giving him an air of vulnerability. Ichigo feels like a creeper watching the other man in his sleep, but the sight is definitely one to behold. He raises a finger, ignoring the painful lurch that his stomach gives at the sudden movement. Hesitantly, the finger touches Byakuya's thin lips, pressed down in a relaxed line, almost pliable to a secret kiss. Which Ichigo most definitely doesn't give because seriously, even he isn't that gay. The finger traces the left cheek and then the forehead, its road unstoppable by any frown of worry or concentration.

There is no mask between the two of them right now, there is no social dilemma, not worries that they might move too quick. There are not any norms to be followed, any stupid rules to obey. Here they are just two men who finally saw each other the way they really are and they decided to give each other a chance. Here their bodies are those of two men incapable to hide anything at the moment, sharing warmth and relaxation and Ichigo for the life of him can't remember when was the last time he has felt that. Because along the years, he has done a great job of hiding himself behind his many jobs, behind his grin or his scowl. Just like Byakuya, he too has created and perfected his own mask and just like the older man has started to believe in that said mask.

Strange how a man whom he ignored painfully so far makes him question all this all of a sudden. Just like he sees the real Byakuya, so does the older man. Ichigo shifts a little more, gently touching the body, the hand still sitting on top pf his heart. It is the first time he feels safe. Safe from himself and from all those black thoughts that have come to perturb his soul ever since that time, ever since the accident.

He closes his eyes again, letting his hand rest on Byakuya's cheek. It is exhilarating to know that he is wanted by a man as powerful as Byakuya. The fact that the architect is here right now, next to him, making himself at home in Ichigo's humble apartment, is a definite statement of how things have evolved between the two of them these days.

"How are you feeling?" The gruffness of Byakuya's voice makes him smile.

"A lot better." He mumbles, burrowing himself a little more in Byakuya's body.

"Do you need anything? Should I bring you some painkillers?"

"Nah, don't. Let's just stay like this."

Byakuya does not answer but he is moving his body and now Ichigo rests his head on the other man's chest, the strong sound of his heartbeat calming Ichigo even more. One of his hands still rests on his heart, while the other gently caresses Ichigo's orange tipped locks. One of the young man's hands rests gently on Byakuya's waist. The tranquility of the moment sips through every cell in Ichigo's body.

"Thank you." He slurs, almost asleep again.

"You have nothing to thank me for." Byakuya grumbles making Ichigo smile again.

"Did Renji bring you the clothes?"

"Yes, I want to be as comfortable as possible as I will stay here for a few days. I hope that you don't mind."

"Not at all." Ichigo squeezes Byakuya's waist lightly. "Are you going to be my personal nurse?"

"Someone has to, although I am sure that there would be enough people more qualified and more pleasant than me for this job."

"I don't want anyone else. I just want you."

"Good because you are stuck with me. Rest now. We will talk more later."

"Ok." Minutes later, Ichigo falls asleep to Byakuya's gentle breath.

The following days follow the same pattern. Ichigo mostly sleeps or stays in bed while Byakuya takes care of him. He does not know why things flow so easily and unperturbed between the two of them but he can't possible wish for more. His friends visit him and take turn in keeping him company but mostly it is just him and Byakuya. He refuses to tell his family what has happened and although he talks to them on the phone, he says he is too busy to come by the restaurant or by the clinic. And he can see that Byakuya wants to tell the truth but Ichigo knows how his sisters and his parents would react about the whole affair and he refuses to put them in that spot. He also refuses to speak about what happened on that alley and Byakuya is still angry that he can't do more against Grimmjow. But Ichigo doesn't want to think at all. It is as if he has created a small world within his apartment, in which nothing can go wrong. Nevertheless, ignoring the outside world has never been the best way to deal with things that he disliked.

After a few days, his head starts to throb less and although he is still black and blue, he can finally open his left eye. He can finally get out of bed without feeling as the entire world is after him to prove that gravitation is just there to torment him. He does not get dizzy anymore and he can make small trips to bathroom or kitchen or even in the living room where he listens to music while Byakuya checks plans and designs too complicated for Ichigo to care.

He should have known that things could not go on like this forever. Ignoring reality can get you so far. It is during one of those quiet nights that all hell breaks loose, suddenly shifting the things between them.

"I think that you should quit your job at the club." Byakuya suggests abruptly looking a little defiant at Ichigo. The young man is resting on the couch looking at some music sheets of music, which he has abandoned some time ago. He raises his eyes at Byakuya, letting his sheets fall on the coffee table in front of him. He hates having this conversation, every person in his life has tried to have it one way or the other with less than satisfying results.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Ichigo. I think you have to quit your job at the club."

"Really?" He sits up, his hands grabbing his knees in an attempt to keep himself calm. "And do what exactly? You are making me quit the one job that pays the best and allows me to rent this apartment?"

"I could help you until you are back on your feet."

"What? You want me to be some kind of a whore?"

"Don't misinterpret things, Kurosaki." Byakuya's entire body stiffens as well, his face the perfect mirror of what Ichigo feels. "I wouldn't pay you for anything. It would be just a loan, which I would expect full back."

"Well, thanks, but no thanks. I think I will pass this amazing opportunity." Ichigo's voice drips with sarcasm, which only irritates Byakuya more.

"Why are you so stubborn about this? Yes, indeed, maybe your job at this club pays you the best but you're hardly at home, you hardly rest and now it has just put your life on the line."

"Oh, don't exaggerate. It wasn't like that."

"It wasn't?" Disbelief and anger mix on Byakuya's face. "You were in a damn hospital because a man slammed you in a wall and who knows what else he might have done to you if I hadn't been there. You don't get to tell me that I exaggerate, Ichigo, because you are unaware how you looked on that pavement, your blood painting everything around you."

"You don't get to tell me how I run my life. I don't need you for that. I don't need anybody. I can manage on my own, thank you very much. I always have and you arrogant self-sufficient prick don't get to tell what I can and can't do. You had everything from the very beginning on a silver platter. You don't know how much one has to work."

"Oh, don't give me this bullshit, Ichigo." Byakuya growls. "You know very well how hard I work, how many people expect me to be the best."

"Yes, the mighty Byakuya Kuchiki, the perfect human being. Well, let me tell you something: here in the slumps we don't play games. I work in a lot of places and do a lot of things-"

"You don't do anything, Kurosaki Ichigo." Byakuya interrupts him viciously. "You work in bar that you don't even like because you never relax there. You go to that animal shelter and yet you refuse to get involved too much. You write and compose beautiful music and yet you refuse to take it serious. You don't do anything with your life. You just squander it away and I don't understand for the life of me why people let you off the hook so easily and treat you with gloves."

"Get out!" Ichigo howled, rising to his feet, his face flushed with anger. His entire body trembles due to anger, his voice wavering due to fury. "Get the hell out! I don't need your bullshit."

"No." Byakuya answers unexpectedly calm, looking at Ichigo warmly. The answer startles Ichigo so much, that for a moment he can't help himself from gapping like a fish at the man sitting in front of him.

"What do you mean no?"

"You heard me. I said no." Byakuya takes a few steps and cups Ichigo face ignoring his feeble protest. "I don't want to hurt you or to make you my personal whore, if this is what you think I was trying to do. I just see what a wonderful man you are." His thumbs gently caress Ichigo's cheeks, almost an unconscious effort to make the young man calm down. His voice dips lower when he asks next. "What do you want to do, Ichigo? Do you want to continue working in that club? Do you want to be a vet? Do you want to be a composer or a writer? What do you want to do? Because I see the way people look at you. I see the way they admire you and the way they sadden because they see you refuse to take a decision. I know it isn't my place to say something like that and I would never even dream of making you take a decision right now. I apologize if it sounded as such."

"What do you want then?" Ichigo grumbles because he can't deny that what the older man wants has made him think.

"I just want you to think about all this. Think about what you want, what you want to do. Stop selling yourself short, stop just for a minute, and think what you want to do."

"You don't know why I am the way I am right now. If that makes any sense."

"Yes, it does. And I know I don't have all the variables to the equation but I honestly want to know." Byakuya kisses him lightly on the forehead. "I have told you before that you are special to me, because I have never met a man like you. And I want to know everything about you and maybe you would like to know more about me. Shouldn't we give each other at least a chance?"

"Yes. But you're asking me to change a lot of things."

"No, not changing them. Just thinking about them."

Byakuya leans and kisses him softly on the lips, and Ichigo closes his eyes, loving the gentle way in which the older man is holding him. Like something precious. Perhaps this would be the best time to tell Byakuya what has changed him so much, what made him feel like he does not know which direction to take. There are so many frustrations living in his soul, poisoning everything, hidden anxiety making him not care what happens to him, and guilt. So much guilt.

He rests his hands on Byakuya's waist, getting a little closer. He could lose himself into this moment forever because Byakuya's kisses are all or nothing, because his tongue traces each lip with the conviction that he can taste something exquisite. His kisses are fervent and gentle, hungry and yet soft, leaving Ichigo breathless. Byakuya kisses with all his body, with all his heart and for a man that hides his own person so much, in this small touches and incredible tender gestures, Ichigo gets to know Byakuya Kuchiki better than his own person.

"I want to have you, Kurosaki Ichigo." Byakuya whispers when they finally pull apart. His gray eyes are determined.

"What if you won't want me after you discover how I am truly?" Ichigo's voice breaks embarrassingly.

"I think it might actually go the other way around." Byakuya kisses him softly. "Just take a chance with me, Ichigo Kurosaki. Just take a chance with me."

A/N: Thank you to all of you for not giving up this story. I would complain about the quality of this chapter but it would look like I am fishing for compliments, which is definitely not something I do. Therefore, I will just apologize for any mistake left and thank you for still reading what I write.