The Red Messenger and the Blue Messenger – in a very tight spot. The mother of all clichés, for your (crack) reading pleasure. (Part 2 of 2.)

Practice Makes Perfect

o.o0o.o

"This way! Capture them!"

As he raced along the darkened streets of Hanseong with a band of soldiers fast on his heels, Moon Jae Shin was hit with a distinct sense of déjà vu. But this time, it wasn't him who had done anything to merit the chase. In fact, Jae Shin hadn't done anything remotely illegal for the three years he'd been Commander of the Royal Defence Guard.

Nope. Not even a little.

(Except, perhaps, aiding and abetting a certain Blue Messenger – a Blue Messenger who was currently speeding along like a particularly diminutive shadow by his side.)

Jae Shin sighed. "…Do I even want to know why you were graffiting the gates of the Ju House with 'Is it any wonder Ju Dae Mo's an unmitigated ass? Compared to his mother, even a baboon has class!'?"

His pint-sized companion sniffed. Even at eighteen, she was still no taller than she'd been when they first met - or any less troublesome, for that matter. But somewhere along the line, Jae Shin's half-hearted attempts to capture the little pain-in-the-ass had turned into the full-time job of making sure that the Blue Messenger – otherwise known as Hwang Eun Mi, the clever only daughter of Merchant Hwang – didn't get herself captured by the hundreds of angry victims of her many 'grand causes'.

"I wrote nothing but the truth," she declared proudly. "That—that absolute cad of a man and his snooty high-and-mighty mother had the nerve to break off his engagement with the young Lady Nae just because they found out her family had bought their yang-ban status!" Even through her panting breaths, the outrage and righteous anger in her voice was obvious. "And to think, he actually promised that he'll 'love her forever'. Asshole!"

"Under Joseon law, the Ju House does have the right to do that," Jae Shin pointed out, ignoring the thoroughly unladylike language that would have made lesser men flinch. "And it isn't as if the Naes are completely innocent either, being deceptive themselves."

If looks could kill, then the glare that Eun Mi levelled at Jae Shin would have wiped out a small village. "Hey, they didn't have a choice!" she argued. "It's not their fault they weren't born yang-ban – and besides, what's so amazing about being noble anyway? Merchants can have class, too, you know!"

Gesturing at herself, she turned up her nose in true Hwang Eun Mi fashion. "Take me, for example. I'm very classy."

Very deliberately, Jae Shin turned away, trying hard not to laugh. Luckily for him, Eun Mi was too caught up in her rant to notice. "I mean, my father bought our yang-ban status, too… and your father doesn't disapprove of me, right?"

Jae Shin opened his mouth to correct her, but then shut it again, thinking better of it. Technically, Minister Moon didn't exactly approve either, but he hadn't kicked up too much of a fuss after he'd found out about their budding relationship. In fact, he was probably just relieved that Jae Shin was finally showing some healthy interest in females at all. When Jae Shin announced his intention to take Hwang Eun Mi as his bride only days before, years of experience of going toe-to-toe with his stubborn son (to little avail) had forced Minister Moon to give his reluctant assent. Of course, he would have been happier with a more blue-blooded match, but Eun Mi could be quite charming when she wanted to be. (The fact that the Hwang were the richest and most powerful jade merchant clan in the country, and that Eun Mi's dowry was worth the price of a small island, hadn't hurt either.)

The footsteps of the angry Ju guards were getting louder. Jae Shin groaned, rolling his eyes heavenward.

"I'm the Commander of the Royal Defence Guard! I should be arresting you for defacement of property – all forty-six counts of it – plus a whole multitude of other crimes and it'll be no less than you deserve," he grumbled under his breath. "And yet… why do I always find myself getting your skinny ass out of these ridiculous messes?"

Eun Mi batted her eyes, simpering cutely. "Because you're passionately in love with me and you couldn't bear to see this adorable skinny ass be thrown into some icky jail cell, of course."

Jae Shin scoffed. "…If you keep spouting such delusional crap," he retorted, "It'll become a habit."

Eun Mi merely smiled, deliberately wriggling the fingers of the hand tightly grasped in his. It was proof enough that his barbed words were all empty blustering. "…Chagiya, I think you and I both know you're just in denial."

The convenient gap and perfect hiding place Jae Shin spotted in the walls of the Ju stables saved him from protesting further – although secretly, he knew she was right. (Not that he'd ever admit to that, of course.)

Yanking Eun Mi by the hand, he all but pushed her under the floorboards. "—Just shut up and get in here!"

o.o0o.o

It was only after the pair had squeezed themselves in a tumble of tangled limbs into the tiny space behind the stable's haystack that Jae Shin realised this was a very, very Bad Idea.

Before he knew it, the formidable Commander found himself sprawled over his petite and very female companion, his face nestled in her hair and her little hand flat on his bare chest where the flap of his doh poh had fallen open. With his body pressed tightly against hers, her modest curves were painfully obvious to him, and suddenly Jae Shin found he couldn't think at all.

Her gasping breath on the sensitive spot of his neck sent a flood of warmth rushing through him, and the skin beneath her palm felt like it was on fire. Frozen, panicked and utterly helpless to the sudden rush of twenty-six years of repressed hormones, Jae Shin could only wait for her to register the inappropriate place where her hand was resting and rectify the situation on her own. But when Eun Mi made no move to shift her hand, distantly, Jae Shin heard the fast-shrinking rational voice in his head pipe up.

'…Moon Jae Shin, m'boy, you are officially screwed.'

Jae Shin swallowed. Hard.

The night air, once comfortably warm, now felt thick and cloying. Weak slivers of moonlight shone through the gaps in the wooden boards, splashing over the delicate white arch of Eun Mi's collarbone and the flushed pink of her cheeks. Helplessly, he found his eyes being drawn to the cupid's bow of her parted mouth, so close that he only needed to dip down a bare breath for their lips to meet. Unnerved at the direction his thoughts were taking him, he barely registered the sound of his hiccup over the deafening hammering of his heart.

"What was that?" a guard suddenly asked, and Jae Shin cursed his embarrassing knee-jerk reflex that only ever made its appearance when he was near a woman. The footsteps sounded nearer, stepping close enough that Jae Shin could reach out and grab the man's leg if he'd tried, and he realised with a growing horror from the familiar welling up of pressure in his chest that it was going to happen again and there was absolutely nothing he could do – he couldn't stop it if he tried-

-Until Eun Mi reached up with her free hand, entwined her fingers around the thick locks at the nape of his neck, and pressed her lips to his.

The urge to hiccup instantly disappeared in the face of this shocking development.

Utterly flummoxed, Jae Shin could only freeze for several long seconds before his body took over his mind and then his lips were brushing more firmly over hers, meeting her in the kiss. Jae Shin felt, rather than saw, Eun Mi smile, before she tightened her grip on his hair, and pulled him even closer, their pounding hearts beating in sync.

...Neither of them noticed when their pursuers left.

o.o0o.o

It was only the need for air that broke the couple apart, and, chest still heaving, Jae Shin stared down at Eun Mi with wide, dilated eyes.

He'd just kissed a girl.

He'd just kissed Eun Mi.

…He was still on Eun Mi.

Forgetting his surroundings in his panicked haste to get off said girl, Jae Shin hurriedly tried to sit up, before promptly banging his head on the low and incredibly unforgiving wooden boards above him. Swearing loudly, he wriggled back and out, fiercely rubbing at his throbbing head, while Eun Mi only dissolved into peals of giggles, her thin frame shaking with the force of her laughter.

Jae Shin glared. The girl was deriving far too much amusement at his expense for his liking.

"…Well, thank goodness the guards weren't here to hear that," she finally managed, as she followed him out moments after, still laughing.

Jae Shin folded his arms, too embarrassed to meet her eyes. With his peripheral vision, he watched as Eun Mi brushed herself off, and then tapped at her lips thoughtfully.

"Funny," she confessed. "You wouldn't believe how long I've daydreamed about doing that."

Jae Shin whipped around, bug-eyed. But Eun Mi just sighed, shaking her head a little as she rambled on in the same offhanded fashion. "It's a shame that reality was so disappointing, though. I mean, you'd think that a man like you would have better technique than a merchant's son, but… I guess not."

A beat of shocked silence.

"—W-What?! That's—" Jae Shin exploded, before his eyes narrowed dangerously. "…And how would you know how a merchant's son kissed, huh?"

Eun Mi rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you can't expect 'that' back there to be my first kiss," she scoffed. "I was almost sixteen when I met you, you know – and before that… well, I've always been a very curious girl."

"…Don't worry, though," she added brightly. "They were just a couple of meaningless kisses. My virtue is still fully intact for our wedding night!"

Mind carefully blank, Jae Shin said nothing, struggling to think safe thoughts. That was too much information for his poor brain to handle.

"Besides," the shameless girl continued. "First kisses are overrated, anyway." She shot him a nonplussed look. "What, was that yours?"

Taking his gape-mouthed goldfish expression as affirmation, Eun Mi smirked. "…Huh," she said thoughtfully, before shrugging it off. "Well, can't say I'm surprised."

Male pride thoroughly trampled in the dirt by this stage, Jae Shin could only sputter at his betrothed, unable to produce actual words. But Eun Mi only heaved another dramatic sigh, completely ignoring his outraged reaction. "…Oh well, it can't be helped," she said in long-suffering tones. "Since you've still got heaps of room for improvement, we're going to have to create… opportunities for you to practice."

The sputters died an instant death in Jae Shin's throat.

Eun Mi smiled mischievously, and there was something in her sly, knowing expression that bore an uncanny resemblance to Yeorim at his flirtatious best. "With me. A lot."

That said, she skipped off merrily down the street, her long braid swishing enthusiastically with every bouncing step. Still momentarily frozen in place, Jae Shin could only watch her go, his poor brain trying to process the events of the last ten minutes. As his eyes followed her retreating back, a small smile gradually spread over his lips.

…Practice, huh?

He could handle that.

o.o0o.o

[Finis]