Author's note: This was intended to be a one-shot, but I thought that it needed more time and room for development. I'll be working on this fic in December, but I won't be able to put anything up by January. Also, I think that the HopexVanille fans deserve more than just one-shots. So here you go. Rated teen at the moment. Constructive crit welcome.

Of Hopes and Miracles
by The Wolf of the Feitas

Chapter 1: Requiescat In Pace

Hope's room was littered with empty cardboard boxes. The boxes were labelled according to their intended contents. There was a lot of stuff to go through; books, clothes, and some of his other belongings. Needless to say, he couldn't bring his entire room to the dorm in college, so he would have to leave some of the items in his room. Hope merely sighed as he realised the task at hand. He didn't know how long it would take care of the garbage dump of a room he thrived in.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step...or so they say." Hope said to himself, gathering whatever scraps of motivation he had to start packing and organising his stuff.

The clothes weren't much of a problem as he thought they would be as he had kept much of his wardrobe in order. He neatly folded the articles of clothing and segregated them on his bed according to types in stacks, making it easier for him to put the clothes into the boxes later on. He picked up his unwashed clothes and unmentionables that were scattered on the floor and carried them to the laundry hamper near his room.

Hope returned to his room and looked at his desk and saw that it really needed tending to. Files and folders were filled haphazardly with papers, most of which were related to school work. On another side of the desk were several magazines and textbooks that were piled on top of one another. Hope figured that if he didn't stop thinking about the problem and started cleaning up, the pile of books would fall before he could get any progress. And so he separated the books from the magazines into two piles that sat on his bedroom floor.

As for the files and folders, Hope took his time to organise the papers chronologically, carefully removing the cat's ears from the corners of the pages, and them placed them back into the files. He had to discern which ones he needed to bring. And so, like the clothes and books, he created another pile on the floor for those files.

Two hours had passed and he now sat at his desk, Hope was massaging his head trying to relieve his thoughts about the packing he still had to do. He looked outside his bedroom window. It was a picturesque view of New Oerba, the new settlement that was established at the base of the crystal spire that supported the fallen Cocoon. At sunsets like this one, the light of the pulsian sun would shine through the spire and the light would refract just as it would on a diamond.

Beautiful, he thought.

Indeed it was. After all it was a suitable testament to the two people who sacrificed themselves for Cocoon's salvation.

After a while he decided it was time to start packing the belongings into the boxes. To his surprise, it didn't take as long as he expected. He had everything done in about 20 minutes, although he still felt tired from moving his belongings around, not to mention stacking the boxes on the living room by himself.

Seated once more at his desk, Hope tried to organise whatever was left on it so that his father wouldn't have such a difficult time fixing up his room when he leaves. Bartholomew Estheim was a busy man indeed, usually spending more time in the governing council of New Oerba than at home. Fortunately, Hope could easily take care of himself.

Hope pulled out some old bookends and unused binders and blew away the dust that had settled on them. He put them aside and peered inside the small crevice that was left for anything that could be of use, or for disposal such as in the case of the bookends. Hope saw a silhouette of a book, a journal to be more precise. He took it out, wiped off the dust and opened it. Hope had a wistful look on his face.

The journal was stuffed with folded notes. He took one out and unfolded it. It read,

Dear Vanille,

How are you? What's it like being encased in crystal? I bet you're just as happy there as we are out here. Rest in peace.

-Hope

He took another one out and read it,

Dear Vanille,

I miss you. I want you to come back and show me more of Gran Pulse. I want to share more moments with you out there. I'm going to school pretty soon and eventually everything will be back to normal- even though it will never be.

-Hope

Hope continued to read the notes. Some shared his experiences in school or at home, others were love letters to her. He even found at a letter that explicitly described a very dirty dream about the two of them in the Sulyya Springs. Hormones, he figured.

However there's this one letter that caught his attention.

Dear Vanille, it started,

It's been two long years since you've been gone. I honestly hope you're coming back. It's not permanent, right? This crystal stasis thing? I mean, you did get out of it back when I was on Cocoon.

I told you once that it's not the lies that matter, but what we do to make them a reality. But what if your not coming back? How can I tell myself that "she's coming back" when I can never live to make that reality come true? I want you back, Vanille. Just please, come back.

-Hope

Hope remembered those days around the time he wrote the letter. He was trying to get a grip on reality. A reality he didn't feel ready to accept. But now, four years after Cocoon had fallen, things were indeed changing for the better...even without Vanille. Serah and Snow had just gotten married a year ago and are now expecting their first daughter. Dajh was and still is growing up under Sazh's care without PSICOM's eyes disturbing their peace. In fact, if Vanille hadn't gone, they wouldn't be living the lives they had now.

And he was entering College; a new chapter in his life, full of new experiences and things to learn.

As he held the letter in his hand, he turned to the window and looked at the crystal spire.

I think it's time for me to pay her one last visit. Just to say goodbye.

Hope put the letters into a small sling bag and turned off all the lights in the house. He brought the sling bag with him as he exited the house. The crystal spire was about 15 minutes away by foot.

The crystal spire had been cordoned off for safety reasons. However a beuatiful monument with a miniature sculpture of the spire and the fallen coccon was erected about a hundred metres away so as to accomodate visitors although few really came. It was still difficult for people to accept that a handful of l'cie saved them. It was a blessing in disguise for Hope as noone would be staring at him thinking that he was some crazy nutcase.

He looked up at the spire and began to speak.

"Erm, Hi, Vanille." He said, still struggling to get over the awkwardness. "How're you doing? I'm going to college in a few days and I'll be really busy then..."

Hope shook his head, annoyed by the stuff he was babbling.

"What I mean to say is that, I'm saying goodbye. I know I've always wanted you back, but..." Hope hesitated, "But I really need to move on."

He opened his sling bag and took out his journal. "I know it seems kinda childish, Vanille, but I want to read you some of these letters that I wrote."

And so he began reading the letters out loud. He revived every fantasy about her, every experience that had been recorded. The bliss he felt sort of lifted a weight off his chest. He didn't know what, but he felt lighter.

After reading the letters he sat down on the ground, staring at the crystal spire. It was already nighttime and the lights of the monument and the spotlights that illuminated the spire were turned on. Hope continued to gaze at it.

"I wonder what I'm gonna do without you," He said with a longing expression on his face.

"Without who?" chirped a very familiar voice.

Hope's eyes widened.

It can't be, it couldn't be...