"Captain James T. Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise."

He loved those words.

They're sparkling and golden and they roll off his tongue as naturally as Sam or Bones.

And he doesn't deserve them. Not really.

He got them through insults and hurtful words towards someone he hope to be friends with. He got them by taking stupid risks, risks that could have killed people and destroyed everything he held dear. He's able to say those words because an entire planet got destroyed.

Of course he feels guilty about that.

But at the same time, he does deserve them, a little bit.

He does because of how else he got them. By saving a planet. Making stupid decisions and taking even more idiotic risks that could have killed him, but undoubtedly saved others. He can say those words because he kept their ship in relatively one piece and had a small role in destroying the Narada.

Really, his role was small. He tried to show mercy that was denied, and then gave the order that destroyed that ship. But he wasn't the one that actually did it, that got them at the perfect place to get aboard in the first place, and he certainly wasn't the one to beam Pike and Spock and himself back.

No, that was Chekov, Sulu and Scotty.

He wasn't the one that got the transmission from the Klingon prison planet, or to save the life of a good portion of the injured crewmen.

That was Uhura and Bones.

Without a doubt he wasn't the one that destroyed the drill.

No, that was Spock.

So no matter how much he loved those words -sparkling and golden as they are- he doesn't think he deserves them.

Not really, anyway.