Sensing Magic

Again! Just as it seemed that Morgana's mission was complete, just as she was one step closer to completing her sister's plan, there was ... an accident. Time and time again; a storm blows a window out, the roof caves in, Morgause's fireball explodes and then, not always - but most times, Morgana would turn around and see ... him. Just standing there looking gormless. Acting so innocent, letting someone else take all the credit and, if it wasn't for the fact that Morgause had said that she could sense no power from him, Morgana would have been convinced that all those 'accidents' were magic.

Not that Merlin was entirely innocent. She knew that he had foiled many of their plans; there was not enough evidence to connect him to every failure perhaps, but it must have been him that had destroyed the staff - if for no other reason than the look he'd thrown her way when Uther had given her the credit for it: and Merlin knew she had magic - as did Gaius - so he had enough information at his fingertips to understand that she had been the source of the sleeping enchantment, knew what the mandrake root was doing to Uther, knew that she had had something to do with Elyan's kidnap. If he had magic it would all make sense but, he didn't. Not only could Morgause always sense such things in other people but Morgana had never once seen Merlin use it. All the tight spots he'd been in, the number of times he'd been sentenced to death, the chores she'd seen him doing for Arthur day in and day out. No, but ... there was something about him. That was what Morgause had said that time in the woods, wasn't it?

How had he escaped those chains? Morgause had been baffled. She had said that the most powerful sorcerer in the world would not have been able to escape such a personal enchantment; her spell had been like a complex lock and only a being with the gifts of the Old Religion would hold the cypher to dissolve it. He must have someone looking out for him, protecting him, that was the only logical answer. But why? Why would a powerful magical being feel the need to protect a lowly serving boy.

And here she was again. In an empty area deep below the palace, with the special statue that Morgause had enchanted and, all she had to do was pour some liquid on and set it alight - the strongest of her gradually developing talents - and all the men in the palace would be enchanted into obedience. Then they would have to do exactly what they were told and so Morgause could calmly walk in, unchallenged by any of the soldiers and unmatched by any of the other females, and they could take control of the castle with no unnecessary bloodshed.

She poured on the liquid with a gleeful smile.

"Morgana! Stop!" She spun around to see Merlin rushing in, his great haste forcing him to slide across the stone floor. She placed down the bottle and picked up her sword in one swift movement quickly closing the gap between them.

"Again!" It was half spoken, half shrieked as she pushed the point of the sword against his chest.

"I warned you. I promised I would do anything to protect my friends." Why was he not scared? His eyes bore right through her and the only emotions she could read were anger and pity, which just made her even more furious. She pushed the point just a little bit harder. He flinched, but only slightly.

"I should kill you," she spat. He frowned, his eyes never left hers and it was making her strangely uncomfortable.

"Why haven't you?" She pulled the point away from him a little whilst she pondered this. Why hadn't she? It should be easier to kill him than to kill Arthur or Gwen, especially after he'd poisoned her and yet the thought of Uther, Arthur or Gwen's death excited her, whereas killing Merlin felt ... wrong. She shook her head at that strange thought and pulled the sword back purposefully, turning the point slightly to the right and thrust it towards his heart. Time seemed to slow as their eyes locked and he tipped his head at her curiously. It felt like the sword was travelling through thick soup, and her arm felt heavy. The point froze as it touched his tatty blue top and the sword clattered to the floor. If she hadn't been looking straight into his eyes and seen them remain stubbornly blue throughout, she would have been certain he'd cast a spell on her.

"Morgana?" He said it quietly, in a worried tone, just as if it were two years ago when she had confessed her magic to him. "What is it? I don't understand how you've changed so much."

"It's all your fault." She cursed herself for the way those words sounded; as if she were five years old.

"No, I don't think so. I thought perhaps I was to blame for some of it but ... This isn't you, I know it isn't."

"You know nothing," she snarled. She started back towards the statue and smiled. Perhaps she couldn't kill him but, once this enchantment had been cast she could get him to do anything she liked. But he was there again. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her roughly away from the table and she pushed back. She wished she could control her magic to throw him across the room as she had that time in her chambers, but her power was still instinctive and he had now got hold of her wrists again, and she found that couldn't summon any sort of strength to push him away.

He wasn't that strong, surely? He was just skin and bones, but still he continued to push her away from the table until she felt her back slam against the cold hard wall. He grabbed her wrists hard.

"Let go of me!" she screamed but he just shook his head. His blue eyes close to hers, frowning slightly as if he was trying to read the small print of a book.

"Perhaps Morgause has enchanted you." He said it quietly, thoughtfully, as if talking to himself. "That would explain so much. If I could only work out how to ..." He stopped abruptly and then she did see fear in his face, although she was sure she hadn't caused it.

"Of course she hadn't enchanted me, that's ridiculous."

"She's a powerful sorceress, you're not. Then there's this strange bond between you. Did I hear her call you sister once? Is that the blood type or the Blood Guard type?"

"Who are you to say I'm not powerful? Haven't you experienced my magic first hand? Would you like another taste of that?"

Again the look on his face surprised her. He was amused by that thought. It entertained him. She twisted her wrists trying to pull them out of his grasp and for a split second he struggled. He ducked his head as he stepped one foot back and pushed her back up against the wall and moved even closer to her. She felt something then. A flicker of warmth. Had she found that magical force that would allow her to push back? No, because she felt drained of all energy; weaker not stronger. She looked up at him and he was now looking back at her. His nerves had returned. Why? What was that warmth she had felt a moment ago? She wriggled again but she knew it was half hearted. He pushed back and swallowed hard, his head slightly shaking, his eyes not quite staying on hers.

Then they met hers again and he very, very subtly licked his lips. They both froze as they realised that this now had nothing to do with magic. Not sorcerer's magic anyway.

She shook her head too. No, she hated him. He'd poisoned her and ruined every one of their plans. He wasn't even that attractive - not really. Well, those eyes were rather ... and his smile. Then there were those cheeks and the way he ... She had no idea which one of them had moved forward first but suddenly their lips touched, a surprisingly gentle kiss before he pulled away abruptly. His eyes were even wider now; numerous emotions displayed there. She recognised them all because she was feeling the same; confusion, fear, disgust ... lust. He had taken a small step back whilst still holding her wrists, so she took the next step back towards him and kissed him again, more passionately this time, and it felt so good that she didn't even notice the pain as he pushed her back up against the wall. The torches she'd lit in the room flared so brightly that she could sense it through her closed eyelids. With any luck she'd set light to the statue too and the enchantment would be cast. Her natural magic always flared during high emotions and this was certainly one of those occasions. His hands had slightly loosened their grip on her wrists just enough for her to pull them out. Good, now she could push him away, hit him or something.

She was surprised to discover that she'd thrown them around his shoulders instead.

This had to stop. The magic in the room was now so thick that even she could sense it. Morgause had said that, once released in a controlled way for the first time, the learning process would quicken, even if it would be many, many more years before she could do what her sister could. They were still kissing, it was wonderful ... it was wrong ... on so many levels. They hated each other. She was the King's daughter, the future Queen - he was just a serving boy. On that thought she pulled away abruptly and slapped him across the face with the back of her hand that was wearing a jewelled ring. Merlin yelped and put a hand to his cheek to find it bleeding. He glared at her, although she suspected that the disgust she saw on his face was as much about the kiss as it was about her slap, and she quickly took the initiative, focused on the statue, just behind Merlin and concentrated.

"Forbærne." She laughed as she saw Merlin's eyes widen in fear at the sight of her glowing eyes and he turned quickly towards the statue in time to see it glow green and omit a pulse of magical energy. Morgana braced herself against the magical shock wave and was surprised to see that Merlin also reeled. From shock, or pain? Perhaps that cut was deeper than she'd thought. Anyway, the enchantment was complete, all the men in the castle were under her spell and Morgause would also have sensed that pulse and be making her way here. She turned her attention back to Merlin, delighted at the feeling of power she now had.

"Kneel, Merlin," she commanded.

"What?" He looked at her incredulously. She held out a hand.

"Kneel at my feet."

"Ah, the kiss wasn't that good, Morgana. You don't think because of that I'd do what you say, do you?" He looked amused and baffled at the same time. Her eyes desperately sought the statue; still glowing green.

"I don't understand." He followed her gaze.

"What was it supposed to do?"

"Supposed? No, it worked, I can feel it." He frowned and shook his head again. Numerous emotions playing on his face again. Now what was going on in that strangely attractive head? Suddenly his voice took on a more commanding tone.

"Who were you trying to control?" It was spoken quietly but it was a command. Ridiculous, the boy telling her what to do. She would not answer his question.

"All the men ..." She shook her head, confused. Why had she answered him?

"The men?" Merlin repeated, deep in thought. "I see."

"So, you're perhaps a girl in disguise?" The edges of his mouth flicked into a ghost of a smile.

"You sound just like Arthur." She almost laughed at that. Instead she approached him quickly, and this time he did back away.

"How, Merlin? Why are you always here? How do you always manage to escape?"

"Why do you even have to ask?"

"It's not magic. I can sometimes sense it in others. Morgause always can and she says you have none." Merlin opened his mouth and then shut it. He smiled slightly, frowned slightly, shook his head and appeared to be trying to stop himself laughing.

"That explains a lot," he said eventually.

"What? What are you going on about?"

"Morgana, come here." It was another command and she took a step towards him before she knew what she was doing.

"No." She pulled herself to a stop, it was one of the hardest things she'd ever done. He held out a hand towards her, fingers slightly apart, palm turned up towards her.

"Come. Here." She started forward again. This was wrong, the spell should have given her this power, not him. She looked at him terrified. "Don't be afraid, I'm not going to hurt you. Look at me, Morgana, really look. Closer." She took another step. Despite everything, she suddenly had the strange urge to kiss him again.

"Merlin, I don't understand. How are you doing this?"

"I'm not doing anything, just trying to understand something. Last year, when Morgause took you away, what happened?" Yet again, she was unable to resist. She started to tell the story again, how she'd been kept in a prison on her own, how afraid she was. "No!" She looked at Merlin baffled. How could such a skinny, clumsy servant talk with such authority? How could she look into his eyes now and feel scared at what she saw?

"I don't ... that's what happened."

"No, it isn't. Again ..."

"I-I woke up ... Morgause told me she'd cured me after you'd poisoned me then she started to talk to me, teach me things."

"You weren't a prisoner. Well, I knew that. I knew that was just a story for Uther and the others. I know why you want the king dead, I know why you thought you wanted me dead. Why do you want Arthur dead?"

"I ..."

"Why?" Again a strong pull towards him like a rope around a waist, whilst another one seemed to be pulling away.

"So ... I ... can ... be ... Queen." She felt like crying with the effort. The two different pulls seemed to be tearing her apart.

"What about Gwen?"

"She will be Queen if I don't stop her."

"Ah, you've seen that, have you?" She nodded dumbly. Merlin seemed delighted at the news.

"Gwen ... Arthur .. think about them, think about the four of us going to Ealdor, about how much you cared about them, how much you wanted to protect your friends."

"Merlin, stop, it's hurting."

"What is?"

"I don't want ... I can't ..."

"Think of the fire that might have burned Gwen, of Arthur dying by Cenred's hand." She shook her head.

"It's what I want."

"No, it's what Morgause wants."

"Aah!" She dropped to her knees, unable to cope with the pressure and the pulling. She heard a few words of magic, her head spun and she collapsed to the floor.

Her nightmares had returned. Flashes and images of all the things that had terrified her before and since Morgause. The black form of a mighty sorcerer loomed in the centre of all these images conducting them with wide arms. His spells had such power, such strength she could feel the force of them in her dreams. He was in shadow, the orange light of magic dancing around him in spinning circles. He turned slowly to look at her, his eyes glowing amber with magic. The shadow lifted and Merlin stood there with a soft smile on his face. He put a long finger to his lips.

"Ssh," he whispered.

She sat upright and screamed. Crouching beside her was Merlin, one knee up against his chin, looking at her concerned.

"Morgana?" She looked up at the table to find the statue gone, a pile of dust in it's place. Suddenly a terror took her and she screamed again.

"Morgause!" She stood up and rounded on Merlin. "You killed her!" He stood up with a shrug and pointed at the disintegrated statue.

"I think the soldiers just came out of their trance, I doubt she would have had much chance to use her magic."

"No!" The grief cut like a knife and was then suddenly replaced by nothing. The pull that had been fighting against Merlin's commands snapped and she fell forward into his arms. He lowered them both back to the floor, onto their knees and held her face in his hand.

"Morgana?"

"Merlin? I don't understand I..." Images flashed passed her eyes again as if she was still dreaming. Long sessions with Morgause looking deeply into her eyes and talking with conviction about things she could not remember. The look on a guard's face as she stabbed him and pushed him over the parapet. Uther screaming at an invisible terror as she pulled a string tight on a mandrake root. A red jewelled dagger that she planned to kill Uther with. A fight with Merlin about hurting friends. An enchanted bracelet she gave to Arthur in order to drain him of life. Gwen on the floor of the Great Hall being sentenced to death. She screamed again at these horrible images and the recollection of how much she'd enjoyed watching everyone's pain.

"It's alright, everything will be alright now." Merlin had pulled her close to him and was rocking her and stroking her hair.

"No, no, nothing will ever be alright again. What have I done?"

"You were enchanted. Now you're not."

"But you knew. You know so much about magic and yet ..." She tried to focus her foggy brain on exactly what had happened down here and the complete certainty that he didn't have magic, couldn't have magic because Morgause had said so. "You're immune to it?"

"Perhaps a little." She sensed that he was amused by that thought.

"Isn't that evidence of magic in itself?"

"You said you can't feel anything when I'm close though?" He was still holding her, his lips moving against her ear. She gave a small laugh at the irony of that statement.

"I think there's definitely some magic here." She pulled away to look at him and then frowned. She put a gentle finger on the ugly red scratch running down his right cheek. "I did that too, didn't I?" He winced at her light touch.

"I think I deserved it for presuming to kiss the King's ward." He was starting to distance himself from her. She wished he wouldn't.

"I'm sorry."

"For the slap or the kiss?"

"For everything."

He nodded, head down deep in thought for a moment before a small cheeky grin crossed his face.

"Well, I suppose whilst we're confessing here, I haven't been entirely truthful with you either."

"Go on."

"Your kiss was good actually." He wasn't looking at her, but she saw his cheeks turn pink.

"Not enough to enchant you though?"

"Depends on your interpretation of 'enchant'." There was a very long pause.

"What now, Merlin? How can I face them all, knowing what I've done?" Another shrug. She wished he'd look at her again, the way he had earlier when he'd practically gazed into her soul.

"Keep your head down, be your old self. Avoid any unnecessary contact with Gaius and Gwen for a while." He shrugged again. She stood up and retrieved her swords. He looked at her nervously.

"What about you and me?"

"If you can forgive me then I forgive you."

"Of course I forgive you." He smiled brightly at her then, a hint of the Merlin she'd first become friends with, and held a long thin hand out to her. She took it to shake but he lifted it to his lips to kiss instead. She shuddered despite herself. "About earlier?"

"No, forget it." He shook his head violently. "Really, forget it. Uther would have my head."

"Merlin ..." She moved a step closer and raised a hand to his unscratched cheek. His eyes closed in pleasure at the touch but he again shook his head.

"I'd better be going, my lady. I need to find out how Arthur fared in all of this," and he turned tail and ran.

"Coward," she muttered under her breath.

A/N This has been re-published on 9th May 2011 with a number of corrections and minor tweaks in preparation for the often asked for and long awaited extension.