Author's Note: Oh...my...God. I am the WORST AUTHOR EVER! WAAAHH! I've been so cruel to you all for never updating, I should just die. :P I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so SORRY!
SUPER SORRY AGAIN! :)
But now...the curtains are back open and it's time to get this show on the road!
And now, be on the look for special guests. Infamous horror characters! Gone OOC!
Here we are, back to view our heroes after a long yet somehow brief break for them. Wait- how is that possible? If...if...the story was gone long, yet it wasn't even five minutes for them, then where are we at? How'd they do Clone Wars? Where'd all the new characters come from? WHERE IS THE SENSE?
"PARADOX!" Anakin suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs.
Everyone immediately turned to him, with some like Obi-Wan and Padmé out of concern, Ahsoka out of fear, and Mace hoping to see he had died yet.
"Damn! You're not dead! Gr..." Mace grumbled, pouting his lip as he complained. Folding his arms, he huffed and jumped back to his seat to basically mumble and grumble. Tee hee. That rhymes.
Adi turned over to arch a brow.
"Just what did Skywalker do anyways to affect you so badly? Why do you despise him?" she asked, a bit peeved as to constantly hearing Mace wanting Anakin to secretly die. Well...actually it was a pretty horribly kept secret. Pretty evident...and not hard to tell either. Except nobody noticed that and lectured HIM.
"Pft. Wow...we are stupid." Ahsoka obliviously commented, staring off into space wide-eyed.
"The educational system at the Temple really is bad." Obi-Wan nodded in agreement.
"I didn't know we were NOT supposed to tell the Younglings where babies come from." Aayla admitted in shame, hanging her head low. Kit gawked at her, having never known that secret in the first place, and pretty soon all eyes fell on the beautiful cerulean Twi'lek instead of Anakin.
"Hey! Pay attention to ME! Waaaaaaaaaah!" Anakin whined, stamping his foot and proceeding to throw a temper tantrum. Still, nobody even noticed that to lecture him to calm down.
As if at random moment, Rex just simply shrugged.
"Eh..I blame the economy." he simply stated.
"I blame SKYWALKER!" Mace roared even louder, as Adi frowned and smacked him upside the head. He immediately snapped his head towards her.
"WOMAN! What IS your problem?" he questioned.
Adi made a 'hmph' noise, folding her arms as he raised her head confidently.
"Hmph. I don't like you and your annoying bratty attitude." she simply stated as a matter of factly.
"I am NOT a whiny brat! I'll have you know I am NOT a child either!" Mace retorted.
Ahsoka became curious by this, and the Togruta walked over to him to ask;
"How old are you?"
Mace snapped his head over to her and gawked.
"You don't ask questions like that! That's RUDE!" he screamed for no apparent reason.
"So...you're over 20?" Ahsoka questioned.
"YES! So please quit pestering me!" Mace groaned, rolling his eyes.
"Are you...over 30?" Ahsoka asked, cocking her head to one side.
"Well I- I- I-...that's none of your business!" he blushed.
"So you are over 30!" Ahsoka grinned.
"Knock it off!" Mace whined, growing annoyed.
"Are you over 40?" the Togrutan asked.
"Shut up!" the Jedi Master hissed.
"Are you over 50?"
"NO!"
"60?"
"HELL NO!"
"Are you somewhere in your seventies?"
"Go f*ck yourself." Mace simply said, narrowing his dark brown eyes.
"Hey! I'll have you know she does NOT f*ck herself! She's got me!" Rex stated as a matter of factly as he suddenly jumped in the argument.
Mace just proceeded to growl, flip the bird at both of them and muttered...well...alot of bad words.
"Anger issues." Kit mumbled loudly.
"Shut up Fish Boy or I'll pound you into sushi!" Mace threatened, punching a hole through the wall.
"Please man! I can kick your ass anytime of the day, you name it! And at least I can keep a hot girlfriend!" Kit grinned wickedly.
"ADI. FREAKING. GALLIA. IS. NOT. MY. GIRLFRIEND!" Mace screamed, throwing another violent punch to the wall.
"HOLY CRAP! It's the Hulk!" Plo panicked, proceedingly running behind Ahsoka in hopes for protection...or just for her to die for him.
"Gee...thanks a lot to the guy I looked up as my father." Ahsoka rolled her eyes.
"Hey it's nature! Mama birds throw their babies out the nest violently on Animal Planet!" Plo defended as he cowered.
"Thought I blocked that channel for you, I did." Yoda spoke, surpised.
Plo actually flipped the bird at the little green Jedi Master.
"TROLL!" Plo yelled, before cowering off to someplace else.
"Dammit Mace!" Adi screamed, jumping after him and the two proceeded to wrestle.
"Hey! I thought you looked up to ME a your father!" Anakin whined, rather hurt.
"No...I am your father." Obi-Wan said suddenly in a deep voice, making Anakin turn over excitedly and jump into his former Master's arms happily.
"Zerba OMG really? Yay! I love Padmé!" he squealed happily as Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and dropped his former Padawan on the head...again. (Might've happened once or twice before when Anakin was his Padawan...just once or twice. *wink* *wink*)
"Anakin I was being SARCASTIC. And- wait a minute! What in the name of the Force? You love Senator Amidala?" Obi-Wan gasped, and then everyone else gasped, staring straight at Anakin.
Mace, whom was in lock of heavy wrestling with Adi, looked over and grinned wickedly as though he were the one to finally end the Clone Wars.
"HA! Skywalker's gonna get kicked out! Skywalker's gonna get kicked out! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Mace sang happily, as by then a choir he must've paid several years back appeared in the background with a heavenly glow for a light effect, as they sang 'Hallelujah'.
"Huh...so that's where all the money went." Plo commented in a silent mumble.
"What money?" Aayla questioned, turning over as Kit grinned and held his sweetheart.
"Uh...nothing! Nothing at all! Why would you even suspect Las Vegas?" he squeaked nervously.
"HELLO? Skywalker's being expelled!" Mace yelled over, still dancing happily as he then was suddenly whacked upside the head and fell to the ground unconscious. The others gasped, revealing that it was Adi who hit him with a chair!
"Force he never shuts up." she grumbled.
"What did you see in him anyways?" Ahsoka questioned.
"Aw for Force sake." Adi mumbled, slapping her forehead as she stalked off.
"I was being sarcastic." Anakin squeaked.
"You didn't sound very sarcastic." Obi-Wan pointed out.
"Oh yeah? Well...well...your...your...your beard is weird!" Anakin retorted weakly, though it was enough to make Obi-Wan gasp hurtfully, grasping his beard and starting to tear up.
"That was hurtful!" the older Jed sobbed.
Padmé gasped by surprise, walking over to Obi-Wan's side and rubbing his back.
"There...there.." she whispered soothingly as she looked to Anakin and frowned sharply.
"Ani that wasn't nice. He's your best friend!" the lovely Senator lectured.
"He insulted me!" Anakin defended.
"You're a bully!" Obi-Wan sobbed.
"A bunch of morons, you all are." Yoda interruped.
"TROLL!" Plo accused, calling out from another room.
"Sh! The play is starting up again!" Adi whispered as she noticed Mace returning to the room.
"Did you learn to calm down from your temper tantrum?" she questioned as though a lecturing mother. Some days, with his recently discovered immaturity that had been kept rather a pretty good secret (in comparison to the oblivious one of Mace hating Anakin for no apparent reason), it seemed as though for Adi she was indeed his mother- or at least that he was a total child on the inside.
"*******" was Mace's response- which yes, indeed I had to bleep it out.
Not the best thing to say to a woman like Adi.
"*******? I'll show you ******* you- you- you half witted, ascruffy looking nerf herder who lemme just say about-"
"QUICK! COVER AHSOKA'S EARS BEFORE THEY DESTROY HER INNOCENCE!" Padmé gasped, as Obi-Wan stopped sobbing to run up to Ahsoka and cover her ears...wherever they were.
In Ahsoka's point of view, Obi-Wan did actually find her hidden ears to censor out whatever magical words was said between Mace and Adi. All the Togrutan could say was a lot of expressions of anger, gasping offended, and then violently inching closer to one another as though ready to kill.
Eventually, both seemed to finish whatever was said and Padmé nodded in approval for Obi-Wan to take his hands off of Ahsoka's ears.
And then suddenly, the moment the curtains opened again, an unfamiliar yet infamously catchy tune popped through the whole stage, and one stagelight focused as a figure walked across the stage.
"Hey! It's Obi-Wan's actor, Hagrid!" Aayla pointed out, and in response she received a glare from Obi-Wan, and in response to Obi-Wan's glare she glared back, and Kit glared at Obi-Wan, and then Mace and Adi just glared at each other. Basically, it evolved into a stare glare contest.
Suddenly, the Hagrid Obi-Wan jumped and turned straight forth to the audience, pulled out a blaster and fired at the stagelight., to which it turned red as though part of an effect to make it seem as blood.
Unless if he actually shot the guy who controlled the lights, and suddenly, some weird red stuff dripped down from where the stagelight was at. And now that you mention it...that light controller was kinda sulking down and not moving...or breathing.
"BODY COUNT! CALLIN' IT!" a demon voice screeched, as by then in the middle row of the audience the Jedi could see several people rushing about to reach to it.
"Silence your tongue Frederick Krueger! The soul is mine!" another demon voice hissed, this one with a more English accent.
By that voice, Padmé froze.
"Familiar...disturbing...memories...EEP!" she twitched suddenly.
"What?" Ahsoka asked afraid.
"Nyah nyah! Blah blah blah! Whatever Pinny boy! This play sucks anyways!" a gruff voice called out, but this one wasn't as loud as the others. Almost as though this one were short...doll-sized?
"WAAAAAAH! Why must you randomly appearing infamous horror characters be so mean? There's no hope in making you happy! WAAAAH!" Aloha cried out from another room backstage, somehow able to hear what was said.
"Horror characters?" all our Jedi friends said.
Pokémon Cannoli gasped.
"My goodness! Beardy, do my eyes deceive me? It is indeed! The infamous, evil, villianous Russian Pancake Mafia! GASP! Oh my!" he cried out in fear, shrieking grily like a damsel in distress as he grabbed a protective hold of his beard.
Suddenly, strange whispers of Ha ha ha chi chi chi were heard, making everyone shiver- almost.
"Aw dammit Jason! You wussy Momma's boy! I told you not to show up if you had a cold! Great, stuck seeing this awful crap of a play and sitting next to my worst enemy whose huffing and sneezing all over the place! Gr.." the one called 'Frederick' grumbled.
The stage light showed for an effect that those audience mebers were- horror characters! Yes indeed! Jason Vorhees, Charles 'Chucky' Lee Ray, a currently snoozing Candyman, Freddy Krueger, and last but definetely not least- the demon Xipe Totec otherwise known as Pinhead!
"Aaaaaaaah! Traumatic memories...returning. The movie theater I should've never went to...Ani! Hold me!" Padmé panicked, apparently having seen them all in a movie once when she was younger and since then...scarred for life as she clutched deathly to Anakin's neck.
"Ergh...Pad- Padmé! It's not supposed to...to..be this w-way! I'M supposed to strangle YOU later on.." he gasped in between breaths, with the others not even bothering to stare at him anymore.
"Mhm. Yeah sure. That'll be the day Palpatine reveals to be a Sith Lord." Padmé rolled her eyes.
"You evil fiends! Where have you captured the lovely Duchess Martini?" Pokémon questioned to the horror characters.
"Duchess Martini?" Obi-Wan repeated, cocking his head to one side confused.
"Great. Now they're spoofing Satine." Adi rolled her eyes, unamused.
"Legal, is that even?" Yoda asked.
"Says the actor potraying you as a violent gangster with countless issues. And may I also add: TROLL!" Plo obnoxiously stated, returning suddenly and unexpectedly.
Yoda just whacked Plo at his legs with the cane.
"Daw great. Hagrid wannabe here thinks were some kind of act in the play. Just fu-"
"Your immaturity and of such outbursts is the very sole reason as to why you've brought this unwanted attention towards us Frederick." Pinhead snapped, folding his arms.
"Ha ha ha chi chi chi." was all Jason said.
Freddy snapped his head and glared at him. "That better have been some more sneezing and wheezing and NOT laughter." the burnt child killer growled.
Candyman suddenly snapped his head awake.
"Wha- I LOVE YOU HELEN!" he mumbled accidentally from whatever he was dreaming about with his former beautiful nemesis. At the same time he spoke, bees flew from his mouth and all about.
"Agent 007! Remember the clock! It's a time bomb!" a mysterious accented voice said to Pokémon, whom grabbed a random clock and proceeded to throw it straight at- Pinhead!
It bopped off the pin headed demon, who growled in annoyance but not pain.
"How dare you! I AM PAIN!" he whined, stamping his foot in fury as Freddy rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, pain in the a-"
"Watch your mouth!" Mace finally snapped down to them, making Freddy turn his attention towards the Jedi.
"Which one of you prissies said that?" he growled in demand, making Mace cower and shiver as he shoved Adi in front of him.
"SHE DID!" he accused.
"I DID NOT!" Adi yelled.
"Where are my loyal minions during all this?" Pinhead demanded.
Chucky shrugged. "I dunno Pin Boy. Last I saw them, well..." the doll trailed.
"Well?" Pinhead pressed.
"RELAX! Don't get your panties and skirt in a knot." Chucky snapped.
"It's a cassock!" Pinhead defended, blushing.
"Like to buy that, I would." Yoda announced, as the female Jedi looked over and tried to imagine their Grand Master clad in leather...which wasn't the best picture.
"Anyways...lemme see if I'm correct. Well- Butterball is at the snack bar consuming everything there possible and basically emptying your wallet until his heart is content-" Chucky began.
"That greedy fatass. He's gonna steal the jellybeans." Anakin muttered loudly for EVERYONE to hear.
"- Rrrright. Anyways, Camerahead got banished weeks ago for attempting to illegally record plays and sell them- which probably would've never worked out since he has a camera lodged through his head. Uh...Pistonhead got kicked out of here just before for harassing women and trying to hook up with them, Dreamer fell asleep in the bathroom and is currently...well... she's dreaming about Pistonhead, CD didn't like the soundtrack to this play and went to scare everyone at a music store so he could steal the CD's there since he failed to understand iTunes and how an iPod works, Chatterer chatted his teeth too much and annoyed some other audience members so he just left to go make out with Nikoletta, and everyone else either ditched or...well...died." Chucky explained.
There was an awkward pause before anyone said anything.
"Wow...and I thought the Council was pretty screwed up." Anakin commented loudly.
"Says the dude who's desperate to join it." Obi-Wan remarked.
Another awkward pause.
"HURLLO EVERYBODY!" an obnoxious woman's voice screeched loudly to really get everyone's hearts jumping in startlement.
A pretty blond woman sulked over a kind of middle aged man, stubmling about and barely able to left her head as the man hoisted her on stage while she held a glass that was half empty.
Snapping her head up at Pokémon, she gasped and slurpily smiled.
"P-...P-...Pokémon! H-H-Hey man! Wa...wassup!" she snorted.
"My goodness! Duchess Martini! How wonderful to find you unharmed from the evil and hideous Russian Pancake Mafia!" Pokémon smiled, outstretching his arms for a hug.
Martini was content and about to open her arms for the hug as well, letting go of the man who held her- when instead she just fell on the ground and rolled off a bit.
"Wee.." she moaned randomly.
The man shook his head. "I found her at a bar...drinking...again." he sighed in a dull tone.
"Lighten up Prime Minister! I assure you that everything is fine now because I'm a secret agent!" Pokémon smiled.
The Prime Minister just stared dull with no emotions at all.
"Dude...it's not a secret anymore.' he simply said, still dull.
"I think you're emo." Pokémon replied.
"That's not a secret either." the Prime Minister remarked.
The two men just stared as Martini rolled off stage.
"Wee- ACK! Owwies! That's not Wal-Mart!" she giggled.
"F dis! I'm going home." Freddy grumbled, about to turn and leave from this awful play when a sudden woman jumped in front of him, arms folded unhappily.
"Nancy darling! Heh heh!...What are you doing here?" he grinned nervously.
"Frederick Banana Krueger! You come home this INSTANT!" she demanded.
"Yes dear." Freddy sighed, lowering his head down in shame.
Chucky by then was rolling about the ground in laughter, barely able to breath at the revealing mention of his middle name being 'banana'.
"Fred Boy here is getting TOLD by his girlfriend! HA!" the doll snarked.
Freddy just sneered a glare as Nancy grabbed him by the ear and dragged him off.
"Dow! Nancy STOP IT! I'm not Brock and this isn't Pokémon!" he whined, getting Pokémon's attention at the mistaken mention of his name.
"That's what you pay for your villianous schemes Russian Pancake Mafia!" the bearded Hagrid grinned happily, stroking his beard lovingly.
"It's either THAT or ME!" Martini declared suddenly as she got off the ground, standing up for a brief second before falling to the ground drunk again. Pokémon stared blankly at her before shrugging and going back to obnoxiously grooming his beard.
So pretty soon, Pokémon managed to bore the audience as he became oblivious to everyone else but his beard- while the wives or girlfriends of horror characters appeared to angrily drag their husbands or boyfriends whom apparently had sneaken out to see this play. Not that there was much of a problem to it for the guys, since to them the play was awful.
"And if you even THINK about PMing the Mary-Sue Ventress then you've got a whole 'nother thing coming!" Tiffany, Chucky's doll wife, shrieked as she dragged him off.
Jason just left out of boredom and wanting to see his mother again to tuck him in bed.
"Helen! Yay!" Candyman simply said happily, as they two lovingly skipped off.
Pinhead, being the last one left, just shook his head at the immaturity of the fellow monsters when suddenly his whole group of minions appeared- with Butterball carrying a whole pile of unfinished snacks in his arms, Chatterer with a LOT of kisses on his face, Pistonhead with a lot of slaps on his face from the women he insulted, Dreamer looking woozy and cranky from just waking up, Camerahead with his camera surprisngly not on due to a dead battery, Nikoletta grinning with her lips smudged in red lipstick similar to the kissmarks on Chatterer's face, and CD happily and quietly listening to the newest Justin Bieber album.
Suddenly. Flo Koon appeared- dressed in a Phantom of the Opera outfit, swinging down in front of CD.
"I am the Bieber fevered avenger, I am Justin's 2.0 world, I am...BIEBERMAN!" Flo growled, attempting to sound like Batman as he lunged for the CD in CD's hands.
CD didn't even looked scared. In fact, he just grabbed one random CD from his head and threw it straight at Flo like a ninja star, as Flo squealed like a girl and ran right back to a hidden room.
"That's it. I strongly dislike this play and have no such reccodmendation to our god Leviathan to see this. Besides, I have tending to do with my consort Kirsty." Pinhead groaned.
Pistonhead sniggered. "You mean-" he started to inappropriately say as Pinhead summoned a chain after the piston headed pervert.
"Finish that sentence and you die." Pinhead simply stated as a warning.
Mace looked at Pinhead with big fangirl eyes and squealed.
"I want to fire chains at Skywalker! That would be the best day ever!" he giggled immaturely, kicking his feet up as he laughed and then falling back over.
"Ha ha." Adi snorted at that.
The Cenobites just opened the Lament Box, which is a puzzle box used to summon them, and impatiently turned it to just go home- to nice little old Hell.
"Have nightmares tonight most likely, I shall." Yoda twitched, swearing to never look at another pin his life ever again.
"Come now Martini! The villains have been rid of thanks to the special called in backup of notorious women that dominate the Russian Pancake Mafia! You are now safe! Now...let's do stupid things to put your life in danger like playing on the roof because we Jedi are the worst bodyguards EVER!" Pokémon declared, reaching up to help Martini up off the ground and running someplace- until both hit the wall and fell over their feet.
Once the audience started laughing again, the Jedi went back to anger and unamusement to that.
"That is SO not true! I did a wonderful job protecting Senator Amidala!" Anakin huffed.
"Who technically caused the Clone Wars." Obi-Wan stated, narrowing his eyes.
"SHH!" Anakin hissed.
The scene changed rather quickly to Martini and Pokémon playing truth or dare on the roof, and by this time Martini was hopping around the roof when suddenly her feet caught her dress and she started to fall over her feet, hitting her head several times and possibly injuring herself as she fell and barely managed to hold on the edge of the roof.
Both Martini and Pokémon were silent until suddenly Pokémon broke out into obnoxious laughter, and the Prime Minister walked in, looking as gloomy as ever.
"*Sigh* You're placing your lives in danger. That is not something safe for you to do Duchess." the Prime Minister sighed, sounding even more dull and emo than usual.
Pokémon looked down from where he was, making another foolish mistake by having a hammer in his hand and banging it at the ledge Martini held onto to make it weaker, and frowned.
"Shut up Flanders." he said plagirising a movie.
Martini looked over and grinned cheekily.
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah! Shut up Fla- woah! Woah! AHH!" She shrieked, accidentally letting go and falling down to the ground before landing on some random crew member passing by.
"DOF!" the crew member remarked before groaning dead.
Martini got up, panicked a bit before reaching into his pocket and stealing his money before tossing the wallet away and grinning cheekily.
"Um...I think he mighta...mighta...mighta...uh...uhhhhh..." she trailed, forgetting whatever her lines were as if this were a part of the play. So, just just found a random shot and downed it within two seconds before falling over her feet again on the ground.
"Giggity giggity goo! Yeah boy! Dis hot chick here is my gurrrl for tonight with her nice booty and dem pretty eyes!" Gangster Yoda giggled the Gremlin he was, the little actor tripping several times over his baggy clothes before finally coming close to the unconscious Martini.
"GANGSTA BABY *******!" Gangster Yoda let out his victorious war cry, flipping the bird yet again.
"Gasp! The evil army of Gremlin Gangs! I knew it! The dastardly yet charmingly superior and evil Sepratists must be behind this! Oh no! I fear there is no hope now!" Pokémon panicked.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Aloha cried, running across the stage in tears when it wasn't even her scene.
"Yet now, I am here to pronounce my undying love to someone of great imporatnce to my life, far more amazing than any of the past women I dated...which included Mary-Sue Ventress, Senator Dramadala's former handmaiden Babe, random other women, Siri Tachi...mmm...Siri...but ANYWAYS! This one is the most amazing of them all!" Pokémon said, glancing down for the briefest moment at the now awakened Martini, whom gasped and smiled.
Could this mean...?
"I..I...I.." Pokémon began to say.
The whole audience leaned in tensely.
Martini widened her eyes in excitment and disbelief.
"I LOVE YOU BEARDY!" Pokémon said happily.
Apparently, the audience must've been filled with Pokémon/Martini fans- since they all groaned and some even started to cry! Martini just sighed and muttered something of 'back to the drinking' as she found some more shots to down.
"Suspicious hintings to secret attachments behind my back, this may seem." Yoda frowned, narrowing his eyes as he looked over to Kit and Aayla, to Mace and Adi, to Anakin and Padmé, to Ahsoka and Rex, to finally Obi-Wan himself.
Aayla and Kit tensed, both flushing as they grinned nervously.
"WHA? Psh. Nah! That's- that's crazy Master Yoda!" Kit said in an attempt to cover up.
"Yeah...I mean...it's not like you're a gangster!" Aayla added in reminder, as Yoda shrugged and went back to watching the play.
"Though perhaps, in my admit, Duchess Martini...you're kinda cute." Pokémon grinned as Martini stared up with those goo goo eyes you see in corny anime.
"Oh Pokémon.." she whispered, as the two leaned in for a kiss.
"BOO! I don't like the Olympics!" Forgetful the clone suddenly called out, throwing cobs of corn straight at them from the audience row.
"Forgetful?" Ahsoka said, surpised to find that dumb clone again.
"Enough of this nonsense! Our love is like way totally super super super super super super super super super super super super super super super super super super super super super super super super BETTER!" Race Windu called out, speeding and shaking in as fast as he could, obviously high on coffee again as he held the Adi actress awkwardly in his arms bridal style.
"Aw...that...that...dat's weally domantic." Martini stuttered.
The Adi actress shook her head, making an 'eep' noise as she clutched onto Race deathly for her life.
"So...many...germs...on...the...floor! ACK!" Adi panicked, gripping closer and closer as Race became more and more hyper.
"I'M SO HAPPY BECAUSE I KNOW I'M SPECIAL! SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING BAD WORDS! SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING I AM SO VERY HAPPY! SCREW YOU YODA!" Race bursted into off key song at the top of his lungs, pointing directly at where the real Yoda was, and the Grand Master looked ready to have a heart attack.
"So...yeah. We quit. Bye!" Race grinned happily as he and Adi skipped happily off into the sunset- but not before the Adi actress whiffed some of her disinfectng spray forward towards the sun.
There came to be another REALLY long pause before Forgetful ran happily onstage with something in his hands.
"Zebra OMQ!" the poorly intelligent clone began.
"Q?" Pokémon repeated.
"Happy birthday Naruto! It's a pipe bomb from the Brazillian French Toast Mafia!" Forgetful happily said, handing him the ticking boom before running off and hitting his head against a wall.
"I'M NOT NARUTO!" Pokémon shrieked, red hoted while Martini was a little aware to notice the pipe bomb was- well that it was a bomb about the blow.
"Pokémon!" she cried as he snapped his head and looked down.
"Oh...right." he said.
BOOM!
The explosion did hurt the actors, making them black and ashy all over- but they weren't dead as a group of armored Mandolorians appeared. One in particular stood out.
"Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha!" he laughed, slapping his waist as he then strangely sang in the tune of the song 'Lollipop'; "Mandalore! Mandalore! Oooo Mandy! Mandy! Mandy! Mandalore!"
Martini looked up and gasped.
"Oh no! It's the creepy Mandalore Facebook stalkers that NEVER leave me alone!" she cried.
Pokémon gasped in horror.
"You monsters! How could you do such a thing?...Why not Mary-Sue Ventress? I mean, she's WAY hotter!" he pointed out.
"Yeah- wait. What?" Martini looked up, offended with an arched brow to a nervously grinning Pokémon.
Meanwhile Back to our Jedi Friends...
A hand suddenly tapped both Mace and Adi's shoulders, and as to the two Jedi turned before able to say anything, they were immediately grabbed and swung over to the face of one of the crew members.
"Perfect! Yes! Indeed! Whatever! He can play Adi! She's Race!" the crew member said hastily, obviously in a rush while the two stood confused.
"Um...sir. Adi's the girl and Race is the b-"
"I DON'T HAVE TIME!" the crew member groaned, shoving them off to the stage.
"Wait- what?" both said, paled and panicked as they were shoved onstage in the middle of Pokémon and the main Mandalorian bad guy being in a slap fight. Why, you may ask? Place it this way, it involves Naruto.
Stopping the middle of their slap fight, all eyes fell on Mace and Adi. Even their own Jedi friends, who basically did nothing to help them out!
"Uh..." Adi paled.
"Great. This whole thing is your fault." Mace whispered.
"My fault?" the Tholodian looked skeptically.
"Yeah! I'm stuck having to play you! A wussy, annoying, overly motherly, stuck up Adi Gallia!" Mace groaned.
Adi raised both her brows sky high.
"Says you; The stuck up, snooty, Grand Master wannabe, pathetic Nerf Herder!" she retorted back.
"At least I could do a better job at being a Jedi than you!" Mace declared.
"Hun, I'm TEN TIMES the Jedi you'll ever be!" Adi stood proudly.
"You mean your butt?" Mace muttered.
"Are you saying my butt is big?" she shrieked angrily.
"Yup. I lied when I said it wasn't." he grinned wickedly.
Adi growled, glaring furiously as she stod confidently towards him and poked his chest hard.
"You're just jealous because...because...Anything you could do- I could do better!" she declared in a bit of an accent.
"HA!" Mace laughed in mock.
"Sense a disturbing musical...I do." Yoda suddenly said, wide eyed.
Adi
I can do anything better than you
Mace
No you can't
Adi
Yes I can
Mace
No you can't
Adi
Yes I can
Mace
No you can't
Adi
Yes I can
Yes I can!
Mace
Anything you can be I can be better
Sooner or later I'm greater than you
Adi
No you're not
Mace
Yes I am
Adi
No you're not
Mace
Yes I am
Adi
No you're not
Mace
Yes I am!
Yes I am!
Mace
I can shoot a partridge
With a single cartridge
Adi
I can get a sparrow
With a bow and arrow
Mace
I can live on bread and cheese
Adi
And only on that?
Mace
Yep
Adi
So can a rat
Mace
Any note you can sing
I can singer higher
Adi
I can singer any note higher than you
Mace
No you can't
Adi
Yes I can
Mace (higher)
No you can't
Adi (higher)
Yes I can
Mace (even higher)
No you can't
Adi (even higher)
Yes I can
Mace (even higher than that)
No you can't!
Adi (highest of all)
Yes I...CAN!
Mace (mortified)
How do you sing that high?
Adi (frowns)
I'm a GIRL!
Mace
Any note you can sing I can sing softer
Adi
I can sing any note softer than you
Mace (soft)
No you can't
Adi (soft)
Yes I can
Mace (softer)
No you can't
Adi (softer)
Yes I can
Mace (even softer)
No you can't
Adi (even softer)
Yes I can
Mace (REALLY soft)
No you can't
Adi (screams)
YES I CAN!
Mace
I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker
Adi
I can drink it quicker and get even sicker
Mace
I can open any safe
Adi
Without being calm?
Mace
You bet
Adi
That's what I thought you'd say
Mace
Any note you can hold I can hold longer
Adi
I can hold any note longer than you
Mace
No you caaaaan't
Adi
Yes I caaaaaaan
Mace
No you caaaaaaaaan't
Adi (longest)
Yes CAN!
Mace (gawks)
Yes you caaaaaan!
Mace
Where do you keep all that air?
Adi (grins)
Here
Mace
Oh
Mace
Anything you can say I can say faster
Adi
I can say anything faster than you
Mace (fast)
No you can't
Adi (faster)
Yes I can
Mace (quicker)
No you can't
Adi (quicker)
Yes I can
Mace (inaudible words)
!
Adi (same here)
!
Mace
I can jump a herdle
Adi
I can wear a gerdle
Mace
I can knit a sweater
Adi
I can fill it better
Mace
I can do most anything!
Adi (arches a brow)
Can you bake a pie?
Mace (flushes)
...No...
Adi
Neither can I
Mace
Anything you can sing I can sing sweeter
Adi
I can sing anything sweeter than you
By this rate, the singing duo inched to one another closely as their voices cooed through their soft, delicate notes to one another.
Forgetful hummed the song 'Deck the Halls' to him while getting into a staring contest with the wall next by to him and was losing horribly.
Mace (smiling and shaking his head in mock)
Nooo you can't
Adi (flutters her eyelashes)
Yes I caaaaan
Mace (carresses Adi's cheek)
Noooo you caaaan't
Adi (winks mockingly and affectionately at him)
Yeesss I caaaan
Mace (gets a bit stern)
Nooooo you caaan't
Adi (narrows her eyes)
Yeessss I caaan
Mace (grits teeth)
Nooo you can't
Adi (smirks wickedly)
Oh yes I caaan
Mace (Done with the sweet notes)
No you can't! CAN'T! CAN'T!
Adi (same thing)
Yes I can! CAN! CAN!
Mace and Adi at the same time
NO YOU CAN'T!
YES I CAN!
By the time the two had finished their nonsense singing as Yoda had predicted through being easily able to sense, both had their chest pressed against one another and leaned in so intently with their eyes narrowed still in competitivness.
Both opened their mouths to say something, probably something insulting to one another as the others had expected, when instead- by accident-
Their lips met in a kiss!
Adi and Mace had their eyes wide open in shock, but both seemed to close their eyes as though they were enjoying the brief kiss before pulling away suddenly, in shock as they gawked at one another.
Yoda's eyes popped right out of his head, jaw smacked right down to the floor in the most indescribable shock imagineable.
"HOLY SH*T! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!" he panicked, running and screaming about as he was able to scurry away on his cane to hide in the bathroom.
The audience seemed satisfied, since they immediately clapped for them while Martini proceedingly got herself drunk, the Mandalorian stalkers went back to...stalking on Facebook, and Pokémon went off in content happiness to chase after what he thought was a pokémon.
But still, all our Jedi friends remained in complete shock as to what they just saw, and what they could only wonder what was to come.
TO BE CONTINUED
Oh my goodness! Adi and Mace have kissed- but in front of everyone! I love the emo Prime Minister, it kinda reminded me of Demyx from Kingdom Hearts. XD XD XD XD
One of the best parts was DEFINETELY the random appearances of the horror characters! I LOVE horror movies, especially those 80's classics! Fave by far is definetely Hellraiser, which is pretty obvious since I threw in all those Cenobites. XD Then I love Freddy and Chucky, whom are the funniest horror characters by far- and then I just had to include Jason. Next to Pinhead, he gave my nightmares for weeks. I don't really like Michael Myers, and Ghostface is nothing more than an annoyance to me. I don't consider Scream much of a scary movie. Oh...and crazy as I am, I love Candyman also. So wicked...XD and the protaganist of that film, Helen, is BEAUTIFUL. LOL, Candyman gets to carry her bridle style and kiss her in the movie. It's almost romantic...if it weren't for the fact he's got bees in his mouth all the time. :P
If you like horror characters and their kinds of OOC humor, PLEASE check out my great friend, laura 101, and her fic 'The Monster's Club' because that is freakin' hilarious!
But my other fave by far has got to be Plo screaming 'TROLL' and 'TROLLOLOLOL' to Yoda. That killed me. XD
Until the next chapter which should come soon and once again best apologies!
-Izzy