Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I claim to own any characters or concepts related to Megamind. This is a nonprofit work of fanfiction.

This is babyfic, so if that ain't your thing, you should probably go ahead and click back.

I'd like to write more of this, but that depends on inspiration, time, etc. So no promises.


Two Steps


The heat of the water drumming on her shoulders lulled her into a momentary doze, then her hip nudged the cool wall and Roxanne started back into wakefulness. She rubbed at her face and turned it up to the shower head. No more late nights, she told herself; but it hadn't been her fault. Entirely. She needed to change the bedsheets again.

Five years of dating and four of living together, and she still couldn't get to sleep on time. Roxanne made a face at herself, then laughed. She supposed it could be worse. They could get too much sleep.

She showered efficiently, shampooing her hair once and running a soaped cloth over her skin, down her arms, her thighs, between her legs. Water fingered her nape, slicking down her throat. Roxanne straightened and pushed the shower off. The shower head went silent and a trickle of water ran from the bath spout, tapering off.

Roxanne wound one towel about her breasts and hips, and rubbed another quickly over her head, dragging her wet, close-cropped hair up into small spikes and wild curls. Droplets of water ran between her legs, cool on her ankles.

In the mirror she peered at her brow, her nose, her chin. Then she stilled. A flash of silver showed in the mirror. Carefully, Roxanne ran her fingers through her bangs, catching the hair between finger and thumb. She plucked it at the root.

It was just a hair: silver, slight. Her mother had greyed early. Roxanne rolled her fingers, twisting the hair between them. A stillness came over her. Her mother, she thought; the thought wasn't new.

She blew her breath out and flicked the hair away. The clock in the upper right corner of the mirror read as eight o'clock. Roxanne rose and threw on t-shirt and jogging shorts: hardly fancy, but enough for breakfast. The hair remained, a ghost in the bathroom.


Fluffing her hair, still hot from the blow-dryer, she took the lift to the kitchen. The magnetized walls hummed, then the doors parted and she stepped out.

"Good morning, Roxanne!" Minion turned in his bowl, smiling at her before he rolled back to face the stove. "I've made crêpes sucrées, of the chocolate chip and blueberry varieties. There's sugar on the table."

"Oh, merci, Minion," she said.

She nicked a plate out of the glass-walled cabinets and sidled up to the island, where two inch-high piles of slim cakes steamed. Roxanne took a deep whiff, then opted for sampling both stacks.

"They smell delicious, and they look gorgeous, too." She speared a crepe through with a fork. "I almost don't want to eat them. Almost," she added.

Minion laughed. His heavy fronds spread wide with pleasure.

"Well, thank you," he said. "There's more on the way."

Roxanne bore her plate over to the small art deco table set in a corner of the kitchen. The table gleamed, glossy in the warm kitchen light, and she smoothed her hand needlessly over it. The brainbots kept it clean, but the old bussing gesture comforted her.

"You seem a little pensive this morning," Minion said. He peered round at her over his hulking robotic shoulder. "Anything I can do to help?"

She waved the fork at him and scooched closer to the table.

"It's nothing," she said. "Nothing serious, anyway."

"Well, if you want to talk," Minion said.

He flicked the heat down on the stove and the sizzling of batter in the pan softened. A brainbot scurried through the kitchen, bearing a glowing tube in its front claws and smaller, darkened tubes in its tendrils. Its electrified hum faded, leaving only the popping on the stove and Minion's humming to fill the silence of the room.

"I found a grey hair this morning," Roxanne said. She touched her hair, slicking a small puff across her temple.

"I think silver hair is dignified," Minion said. He carried the stacks of crepes to the table. As he bent to place them, he twirled in his bowl, eyeing her. "But that's not what's really bothering you. Is it?"

On her plate, the crepes cooled, half-melted chocolate chips drying in the air. She fiddled with her fork, dragging it through the sugar.

"I'm thirty-seven," she said to the lines she drew in the sugar, "which isn't really that old."

Minion said, "Oh, no, Roxanne. And may I say, you don't look a day over thirty-one."

She smiled at him. "That's five points in your favor."

"So, what is it?" he said. He blinked, his huge eyes shining in his sleek face.

"It's just-" She set her fork down and turned to him.

"I'm thirty-seven, Minion. There's so many things I wanted to have done by now, things I haven't. My mother had her last kid when she was thirty-six, and here I am, thirty-seven," she said again, gesturing. "What if it's too late for me?"

"Wait," Minion said. "Is this about kids?" His frills fluttered. "I really think you need to talk to the boss about this, not me."

Roxanne threw him a look. "Minion."

"Sorry, sorry." He held his hands up, placating. "But you really should talk to him. I think you'll find-"

Megamind burst into the kitchen, goggles tight over his eyes, ash blackening his shirt. He tore the goggles from his head and threw them over his shoulder; a brainbot fumbled for them.

"What a disaster! Someone," and he shot Minion a glare, "forgot to set the lock on the lab, and Prototype 4-G started exploring. It's going to take hours to clean up the acid burns, and you can just forget about the Voltagon."

"Well, it wasn't me," Roxanne said, prosaic. "You should try the crepes; they're delicious. Minion made them," she added as she took another bite.

"Roxanne!" Megamind said, pleased. "You're up early."

He came around the kitchen to kiss her cheek. Minion rolled his eyes and stalked off, muttering about why was it always him who forgot to lock the lab. Roxanne smiled and turned to return Megamind's kiss, catching the flared tip of his nose.

"So what's the occasion?" he said. "I thought you didn't have work until nine."

"You do know it's eight-fifteen," she noted. Roxanne speared the last of a blueberry crepe and slid it onto her tongue.

"What?" Megamind said, distracted, then his eyes went wide and he turned violently to the wall clock. "It's eight-fifteen! I have to fight Cryptodiras in two hours and just look at me."

"You should probably take a shower," she advised. "You've got a little-" She twirled her finger. "On your brow."

"Yes, thank you," he said, "Minion!"

"I'll see you in a couple hours, honey," Roxanne called after him. "I love you!"

"Yes, yes, I love you, too," Megamind said. He paused in the door and smiled at her, his eyes soft. Roxanne saluted him with her fork, then off he went.

She finished her crepes and carried plate and fork to the sink, where she rinsed them of sugar before she slipped them into the washer. Her reflection in the box window caught her eye, and she borrowed a moment to fuss with her hair.

"Get dressed," she told her reflection.


Rubble rained down from Second Street Bank and rebounded off Cryptodiras' humming energy shield, which threw off sparks but held.

"Me-ga-mind," he roared. Cryptodiras took one plodding step that rumbled all down the street. His shield glowed.

Roxanne ducked into a nearby alley and motioned for her cameraman to sweep the street. Her earpiece beeped once, the signal that she was on-air again. She straightened and hoisted her microphone into position.

"Hello, and this is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting for KMCP 8 News. I'm coming to you live from Oldtown Metro City, where hometown favorite Megamind is facing off against the colossal Cryptodiras, self-proclaimed lord of all turtles," Roxanne said, raising her eyebrows significantly.

Behind the camera, Tiffany grinned.

Roxanne continued: "As the battle enters its second hour-"

"Oh, come on!" Megamind shouted far above. He shot past overhead, his booster boots flaring brilliantly. "Are you serious? You'll never catch me, honestly, just give up."

"You will fall," Cryptodiras intoned slowly. "All shall fall. I am Cryp-to-di-ras."

"You can't even think of anything clever to say!" Megamind snarled. "Really, are you even trying?" He fired another plasma shot at Cryptodiras, and it dissipated into Cryptodiras' shield.

Cryptodiras thundered his rage and reached out, missing Megamind but shearing off another huge chunk of the bank.

"Once again," Roxanne said quickly as stone fell heavily to the street, "I want to remind our audience to please stay out of Oldtown and out of the way. Leave the heroism to the hero."

She motioned to Tiffany to carry the camera across the street for a better angle, and though she blanched, Tiffany nodded. Ducking low, she darted behind the rows of upset cars. Roxanne turned off her microphone and peered around the lip of the alley.

Cryptodiras' bulk filled most of the street's width, his massive, rounded back rising mountainously high. His shield pulsed, sickly green and bright. Roxanne frowned: a spot on his shield wavered, as if smoking. She judged the distance between the alley and the door to Second Street Bank, then made the run for it, diving into the shallow shelter as Cryptodiras snapped at Megamind.

Her heart thumped loudly twice, then she looked again to Cryptodiras' shield, closer now. There was no as if to it; a thin finger of smoke licked up his shield from a spot low on his back.

Roxanne thumbed her earpiece, switching frequencies. In a low, quick voice she said, "Megamind, it's Roxanne. There's a hole in his shield at the base of his spine. I think it's where he's generating it. Look for the smoke trail."

Crytodiras lashed out again and Roxanne flinched, pressing back against the locked doors. Dust rose in a cloud before her.

Megamind cut through it, the blue afterburn of his boosters a light in shadows. Roxanne followed his progress as he looped twice around Crytodiras, dispelling the mist of dust, then rose at Crytodiras' back and aimed.

Roxanne threw her arms up over her face, but the shield went out with no more than a flicker. The generator sputtered.

"Oh, my," Megamind called. "Looks as if you've come out of your shell."

"My shield," Cryptodiras said with lumbering alarm. "Where is my shield?"

"I'm afraid there's no time for the heavy existential questions," Megamind said, then he powered his exosuit and flashed forward, quick and bright as lightning.

Cryptodiras screamed and fell. He hit the street like an earthquake, rocking Roxanne off her feet. She caught herself on the doorframe. Her knee ached where she'd struck it.

"It seems you're a soft shell after all!" Megamind cried jubilantly.

Roxanne touched her earpiece and muttered, "Please, no more puns."

"Very well!" said Megamind. He struck a pose, pointing condemnation at Cryptodiras. He sneered. "This is the last you shall snap through the streets of Metrocity!"

Well, she thought, it was only half a pun. Roxanne switched frequencies on her earpiece again and flicked her microphone back on. Tiffany stepped out of her own hiding spot on the far side of the street, carting the camera on her shoulder. Roxanne rejoined her.

"There you have it, folks!" Roxanne said, beaming for the camera. "Another lackluster villain's dreams of domination have been put to rest by Megamind, defender of Metrocity." Her smile quirked. "We'll be back after a few messages with an exclusive interview with Metro City's favorite hero. I'm Roxanne Ritchi, reporting from Oldtown Metro City, where Megamind is yet again victorious."

Tiffany cut the feed and laughing, she lowered her camera.

"Oh, my God," she said, "I thought we were goners."

"You did great out there," Roxanne said, then a mechanical whine drew her away.

Megamind landed gracefully in the rubble. Roxanne threw her arms about him, hugging him briefly.

"Can you believe this guy?" Megamind said. "Lord of all turtles. And I thought Slugman was bad."

"Slugman's still pretty bad," Roxanne said. She wrinkled her nose.

Megamind grimaced, then his face cleared; delight transfused him.

"And you! You were fantastic! Spotting his weakness like that! You know, I was starting to think we'd all be out here till sundown, but you-"

He kissed her, infectious. Roxanne stroked his head and returned the kiss, long and soft. After a moment, Tiffany coughed.

Megamind settled on his heels. He cleared his throat. Roxanne brushed her hair back from her brow. She smiled, her lashes low.

"So," she said, "about that interview."


Minion taught cooking classes on a Monday-Wednesday-Thursday schedule at Metro City Community College; but for a few rooms, the house was dark when Roxanne came home. Wednesday was movie night, so she set the video display up in the living room, fiddling with the far too many remotes for far too long. When the Blu-Ray logo lit the screen, she threw her arms up in a V.

Megamind came in as she programmed the microwave for popcorn. The brainbots whined in their eagerness, funneling down the hall. Roxanne smiled, listening as Megamind babytalked the brainbots. The microwave sang. She popped the door.

They sat together on the couch, Roxanne in her undershirt and shorts, Megamind barefoot and sporting his oldest Def Leppard shirt, the one that smelled most like him. Roxanne rested her head on his shoulder. In the dark the wall flickered, the whole of it lit with the movie.

"This science fiction piece is all fiction, no science," Megamind scoffed. "You can't possibly construct a death ray of that magnitude using those materials."

Roxanne wriggled closer. Her nose brushed his cheek. She murmured, her lips at his ear, "Later, they drill to the earth's core using a laser and a steel submersible."

Appalled, Megamind turned on her. "Why are we even watching this? Where's the oversight? Who knows how many hundreds of millions of billions of dollars went into making this, this atrocity of science-"

Roxanne smoothed her toes up the back of his foot, resting her heel on his ankle. Her toes, flexing, were pale and short against his long, blue toes.

"Shh," she said, "no talking during the movie," and she rested her hand on his chest.

Megamind grumbled, then he settled with her, his arm heavy on her shoulders. He moved his foot lightly against hers. Roxanne smiled and turned her face to his collar.

The hour passed. A brainbot crept up to sit in Roxanne's lap, and she stroked its sleek dome as the movie drove relentlessly on. Electricity arced beneath her fingertips, trapped in the glass. Megamind, bony but sweetly familiar, bent against her; and beneath the roar and crash of the film, the quiet rose like a warm tide to sweep over her.


Night swallowed them. The house fell into its late silences, the lights off even in those few front rooms, the brainbots recharging and dreaming their strange, electric dreams. The aircon whispered into the dark, and outside a light breeze blew, shivering against the windows.

In bed Roxanne turned, spooning Megamind. She rested her cheek between his shoulders and slipped her arm beneath his. Her fingers ghosted across his sleek chest. He covered her hand with his own, long fingers slipping between hers.

His back was smooth against her breasts but for the slight knobs of his spine. She pressed near to him. Roxanne closed her eyes, breathing in his warmth. His fingers shifted over hers, his thumb sliding down to caress her palm. The aircon sighed. Her heart beat, slow and easy.

Into the space between them she said, "Have you thought about having kids?"

Megamind breathed out. He turned over to face her. Roxanne half-rose, then she laid her head down again upon the pillow. His eyes flickered, searching her face. His lips parted; he flattened them together.

"Have you?" he said.

She said, "Sometimes," and looked to her fingers curling in the pillow's fringe. Delicately she straightened the strands. Certainty weighed her breast. Roxanne met his gaze.

"I'd like to be a mother."

His eyes lowered. He touched her hand, still between them. She shifted, nearing him, and turned her hand so their palms met.

"Well," he said. He wound his fingers with hers. "I'm the last of my kind, whoever they were. As you might imagine, there's some pressure." He shrugged, sardonic. He didn't lift his eyes from their hands, entwined.

Lightly she stroked the fold at the root of his thumb.

"Is that the only reason why you'd want to have children?" she asked him.

He looked at her then, his eyes dark beneath his brow.

"Would you want to have children with me?" he said.

She looked back at him, his solid brow, his smooth scalp, his nose like a knife, his lips so thin. Then she smiled. Roxanne leaned forward and kissed his brow, where it wrinkled in thought.

"Yes," she said. She kissed him again, beneath his eye. "I would. I do."

Megamind sighed, and he bowed his head so the exaggerated top rested beneath her chin. Roxanne bent to kiss the crown.

"I didn't have an easy childhood," he said into her throat. "Not that my prison dads didn't do the best they could in their circumstances. But it wasn't the most stable environment, and after- chool-"

She tightened her grip on his hand.

"I don't know if I could be a good father," he said at last.

"I won't leave my job," she said in return. "My mother stayed at home. I couldn't do that. My sister quit her job," she said softly, "when she had the twins. I worry, if I kept my job, would that make me a bad mother?"

"Are you kidding?" he demanded. Megamind straightened. "So your sister quit her job. That doesn't make her the better mother in this hypothetical scenario any more so than it would if she hadn't quit her job."

Roxanne smiled so her nose scrunched. She kissed him once, quieting him. His words settled warm on her tongue.

"I think," she whispered, "you'd make a great father."

"It wouldn't be easy," he told her. "Our genetic structure is so different, it could take months to instrument a viable match."

"A few months would give us time to talk it over," she said. She rubbed his thumb. "And if we do decide to do this, we'd be ready. More ready," she corrected.

Megamind laughed and covered his face. He breathed against his palm, then he spread his fingers wide enough to peek between them.

"You're certain this is what you want to do?" he asked.

The world was quiet and warm and thick with shadows in their room, beneath the sheets and all about them.

She said, "Do you want to have children with me?"

He said, "Yes."