Creeps in quietly posts an update and slinks out. Hopefully no one will notice how long its been...

Here we go boys and girls just setting the scene a little more. I know its short, but come on, talent such as this takes time...ducks flying tomatoes and makes a run for it.

It was the sort of office that nothing disturbed the peace. There was a still air, scared of causing drafts, a clock that breathed in relief when it lived to tick another second and keyboard tabs that hated to echo in the wide open space too loudly.

"Aizen-sama?" Ulquiorra didn't understand why the unusually stoic man was chuckling at the images of Grim leaving the hospital and the headline rumours of an amorous affair with a certain rock star residing in the hospitals top rooms. The broadsheet newspaper was spread the width and breadth of the fine oak desk and had been read with military precision from one cover to the other. The reader had paused and returned to the leading stories. He smiled at the image of his most eccentric client.

"Is there any truth in this?" His manicured fingers tapped the paper headline and the green eyed subordinate did not flinch from his opinions. Diary clenched to his breast as if a testament of his authority to speak his mind, he did so with his head raised high, sure it would be met with the usual approval.

"It would appear not. I have told Grimmjow that romantic liaisons are a waste of his time and we will not tolerate such deviance from his contract."

Aizen leaned back in his chair, leaning his arm on the rest and lowering his head to the gathered fist. He stared at his minion for a minute longer than necessary before speaking. "You consider the lead singer of Japan's most popular band Ichigo Kurosaki a waste of time?"

"The boy is trash."

"I believe we can turn this to our advantage. You are to encourage the relationship." Ulquiorra was confused but he didn't let that show. "There is no such thing as bad press Ulquiorra. Grimmjow has already cultivated an image of wild rock star, his dating a genuine one can only add to his appeal in the wider market. For him to link up with such an outrageous character, can only raise his profile in the media; maybe even internationally."

"Kurosaki is male." Ulquiorra stated it as a fact.

"Even more scandalous then." Aizen lifted the corners of his mouth. "Find out all you can about the boy, I want to know it all."

"You wish to represent the boy also?"

"I want the boy to date Grimmjow. Who knows maybe we can sign him up and take advantage of the large quantity of people who follow him too. This could be very lucrative Ulquiorra. Very."

"Yes Aizen-sama." The dark haired man gave a stiff waist bow.

"Good then I am sure you will go out of your way to see the pair are seen in a…compromising situation."

...

Shiro sat with his father in Ichigo's consultant room. The grey haired man had been flown in as he was all too aware of Ichigo's medical history. Ishida Ryuken wasn't a cheerful man at the best of times but now he almost seethed. His face was stern, his body language taught and curt much like his speech.

"…so you say you could not predict that Ichigo was likely to take his own life?" The cool eyes burned into Shiro's and it was as well he wasn't someone easy to intimidate.

"I spend most time wid him, course not." Shiro shrugged. "He switched don't he. One minute bastards happy and the next he's screaming down my throat for disrespecting him and fuck if I know what sets him off."

"Had something set him off this time?" The tone patronised back at him.

"Na fuck had it. He had a bird and was watching that Grim magician on the telly. We'd set him up nice."

"Ermm so it seems…" The doctor looked at his notes. "His bloods were quite…floral shall we say? A nice cocktail of substances prone to make the sanest man consider his pitiful life and do something reckless. Yet we know Ichigo is far from the most rational at the best of time." The eyes looked up although Ryuken kept his head motionless. The beady irises bored into the young albino. "And yet…." He paused for effect watching Shiro narrow his eyes back.

"I didn't give 'im that shit!"

"And yet, your reckless care allowed it to happen? And need I say….again?" Shiro was beyond angry at being blamed for his brothers close call, but in truth of the matter, Ichigo was his responsibility by default. Default of his crap father who was patting his knee like he was a little old dear and trying to calm his eruptive temper.

Ryuken felt a small modicum of pity for his old friend Kurosaki Isshin, the man had not been blessed with even one son like his own. For all his faults Uryuu was a dedicated follower of tradition and held the qualities of a great leader if he could turn his focus away from busty females & womanly crafts for long enough. No poor Isshin suffered from three sons who let him down, it was a shame that the most mouldable of the three triplets died with their mother and left the two most useless behind. It didn't matter that in their own field the two saw success beyond what anyone could have ever imagined.

"I have spoken with Ichigo." The grey haired doctor began again. "And despite his emotional state at the time, can't ascertain whether it was a genuine attempt to end his own life or some misguided drug and drink fuelled incident. It is quite impossible to get much sense from him at all other than a deep rooted emotional reaction to anything regarding his mother."

"She was so good with him." Isshin was tearing up. "The best mother a kid like him could have had!" All others in the room refrained from rolling their eyes at the man's usual over acting.

"Quite." Ishida flinched as Shiro smashed his father in the face and rubbed the bridge of his nose with a restrained sigh. "That being said Kurosaki, the fact remains that Ichigo requires someone else to watch over him instead of this…this…"

"Just you fucking dare." Shiro shot to his feet pointing a finger. "You try to lock him up over my dead body!"

"If you had done your job better…"

"He's had a chance at some normal fucking life with me! He don't need no fucking baby sitting!"

"Drink drugs and rock and roll are hardly normal. Debauchery with various females and an unhealthy obsession with a fictional character are hardly normal, surely even someone like you can see that!"

"Yeah, Grims so fucking fictional he's been to visit Ichigo twice now and as far as I can see the two of 'em get along just dandy." Shiro wasn't about to say exactly what he'd witnessed but the two older men stilled in their movements.

"Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez?" Isshin whispered. Shiro nodded. "With our Ichi?"

"Yeah. Right fucking cosy too." Shiro smirked when his dad scrubbed his face with his hands.

"Gay too? He's gay on top of everything else?" The father shook his head in his palms.

"What's wrong with that?" Shiro frowned. "Ichigo's happy. Sleeping wif a huge smile on his stupid face. When'd ya last seen that huh?"

"Gay?" Isshin shook his head again. "OH Masaki! What am I to do with all this? You'd know, only you would know!"

"Shut up you fool!" Ishida senior lost his own temper. "I have little time for your antics anymore. I recommend placing someone with your son to oversee his life, someone reliable and dependable." He shot Shiro a look confirming it wasn't him up for the job.

"Ryuken, you'd send your own son to help me!" Isshin shot up from his feet and shook the man's hand vigorously. "How generous an offer, of course it makes complete sense! He's such a good boy. Come come Shiro, the matter is solved and we can both rest better now."

Ryuken sighed and tutted. Send his boy! What utter nonsense.

...

There was a shadow. Ichigo had been standing in his own bedroom freshly released from hospital, looking at his shadow. shadows were something he identified with, comforted by, fascinated with. But this shadow was…HUGE. It engulfed him. Ichigo disappearing like his brother was something that scared him whitless. His eyes widened & with a torturous slow turn his head seemed to swivel owl like and inhale with utter horror at the hulk standing right up in his space behind him.

Ichigo looked up. And up. And up. And up.

"Fuck." He breathed out like a frightened rabbit at the grin that greeted him. His body shrunk down to a crouch and he began to shake his head. "Ya gonna eat me." It wasn't a question, Ichigo felt it to his core.

"For breakfast." The man laughed his belly shaking and was that tinkling?

"Who? Scratch that! What the fuck are you?" Shiro' s lilt thundered through the room.

"Bells!" Ichigo laughed and launched himself up the human tower to reach them. Shiro quickly grappled his brothers skinny ass and the tower himself laughed louder as the three fell to the floor with the two siblings crawling over the riotous laughter of their intruder.

"Oh party time! Where's my invite?" Grims voice ever piercing stopped the antics dead. Three pairs of eyes looked his way before a squeal and blur of orange tackled the blue head to the floor too.

Shiro had always thought they lived in a mad house, this finally confirmed it. He looked at the man he appeared to be holding down by the throat, but he doubted he have any chance of keeping him that way if he really wanted to get up.

"Answer the fucking question." He menaced at the one eyed man who only needed to paint himself green and walk right into a seventies remake of the hulk.

"Kenpachi." He replied with a wink which when the other is covered by an eye patch just looked seriously wrong against the backdrop of that evil grin. "Ken the psychiatric nurse." The two turned their heads at sounds of disgusting happiness to the left of them as Ichigo laughed at Grims magic skills of the old coin from behind the ear joke that was turning into the coin from up the nose and even out the eyeball. Gross. "I'm here for ya lil bro." Shiro begrudgingly began to climb off Ken and looked to Grim. "And how the f'ing fuck you get in too!"

"Doors open." Grim shuffled himself into a sitting positing and propped himself against the wall as Ichigo snatched the coin and poked it in his ear. The magician began to laugh as Ichigo changed to his nostril now that he found the money wouldn't actually fit in the first orifice. "Dirty boy." Grim pinched the penny back and tutted at the pout it produced. Damn that looked cute, he wanted to suck that bottom lip into between his lips and make the kid mewl.

"They." Shiro talking to Ken pointed at the pair. "Are your problem now." He chuckled and shook his head before letting rip with a full on cackle. "Oh so not my problem woohoo!" He knelt down before his brother ruffling the orange hair and watching for the quick flit of eye contact before Ichigo ducked his eyes back down. "You got a new playmate. Ken this is Ichigo. Ichigo this shit head is your brand spanking new minder, don't break him." A frown appeared on the boys face a familiar look of confusion as the brain ticked over the words.

Spanking. His eyes flitted to the new comers hands. They were huge!